The Gossip System

"Summon the civil and military officials to court!"

Shen Anxin wore her elder brother's royal-blue official robes, desperately forcing her drooping eyelids open as she shuffled along with the other civil officials like a walking corpse.

She was just about to complain about how early court began in ancient times when, the moment she stepped into the Hall of Heavenly Mandate, a ding sounded in her mind.

[Ding, the system is about to complete initialization...]

[...System loading failed #￥% system analyzing... system reloading... failed... loading... loading successful!]

Shen Anxin jolted awake. It was as bracing as chugging an entire cup of Boya Juexian milk tea.

In the Hall of Heavenly Mandate of Great Qi, the civil and military officials stood in two rows. Emperor Hongyao sat upright at the head of the hall, with the princes below him.

The scene should have been solemn and imposing, but it began to turn eerie when a strange crackling sound came out of nowhere.

Did I get up too early? Am I hallucinating?

The next second, a woman's voice exploded through the hall, as expressive and ear-splitting as wailing ghosts and howling wolves.

Shen Anxin: [System, buddy, you're finally awake! It's been two years! Do you know how I've lived these past two years?]

System: [Host, long time no see. Have you been... Ah!!!! What are you doing?!]

The officials looked at one another. Seeing the strange expressions on the faces around them, they were horrified. They hadn't imagined it!

Who ate a bear's heart and a leopard's gall, daring to do this at court...

Wait? A woman's voice? How could there be a woman's voice?

And a child's voice answered her?

They didn't dare think about it, didn't dare!

At the head of the hall, Emperor Hongyao frowned slightly and swept a grave gaze over everyone present. There were no women or children.

He studied their expressions, then met the eyes of the crown prince, who stood first below him. Bewilderment flashed in both father and son's eyes.

The crown prince lowered his gaze. That voice... sounds so familiar.

"Who dares make a racket?!" Eunuch Chen, the seal-bearing eunuch at Emperor Hongyao's side, shouted.

No one answered.

A young eunuch waiting nearby hurried over and murmured, "Could you have misheard? No one just spoke. It's been quiet the whole time."

He wasn't the only one. The other palace attendants also looked at Eunuch Chen in confusion.

Shen Anxin: [You scared me! System, did you arrange that with the eunuch? Screaming together like that. I have to say, he really has a loud voice. It carries like crazy! But no one here was making a racket, were they? Could someone in the front rows have been whispering where I couldn't hear?]

System: [Host, is this really the time to worry about that? How did you end up here like this?]

Sweat broke out on Eunuch Chen's forehead. Are... are there ghosts?

The young eunuch said, "Are you feeling unwell? Perhaps I could take your place..."

Eunuch Chen turned shakily to look at the emperor. Emperor Hongyao raised an eyebrow, and Eunuch Chen understood that the emperor could hear the two voices as well.

Eunuch Chen was no longer afraid. From the emperor's reaction, he seemed to want to pretend nothing was amiss for now and see what happened next.

Eunuch Chen could only pretend he had heard nothing and proceed with court as usual.

Shen Anxin: [You think I want to dress as a man and come to court in my brother's place? You have no idea how hard it is to attend morning court! I can stay up late, but I can't get up early!]

Eunuch Chen's voice took an abrupt turn in the middle of announcing that those with memorials should present them and court would be dismissed if there were none.

The officials: !!!!!

They seemed to have heard an earth-shattering secret!

System: [Then how did you dare do it? Aren't you afraid the emperor will find out and have your head?]

Emperor Hongyao: She's afraid of losing her head, so the danger can be kept under control.

Dressing as a man and attending court in her brother's place? Are my Great Qi officials really so easy to fool?

By now, the crown prince's expression had shifted slightly. He seemed to have guessed who it was.

Shen Anxin: [There was no choice. Father's health really couldn't hold out anymore, and he's fallen unconscious. The imperial physicians here in Great Qi are at their wits' end. Only Divine Physician Valley in Southern Xia can treat him. Shen Anlan asked his superior for sick leave and quietly took Father south for treatment.]

System: [What does that have to do with you?]

Shen Anxin: [Shen Anlan was only a seventh-rank compiler at the Hanlin Academy anyway. Normally, no one would care if he took a long leave, but who knows what got into the emperor? He suddenly decreed that every official had to attend court today, and anyone on sick leave would have an imperial physician sent over to see whether they really couldn't make the journey.]

[To keep the fact that Shen Anlan and Father aren't in the capital from coming out, I had no choice but to impersonate Shen Anlan at court and try to fool everyone for now.]

In just a few words, she had given her identity away completely.

Emperor Hongyao waved a hand, and Eunuch Chen hurriedly presented the roster of officials.

He soon found him: Shen Anlan, a compiler at the Hanlin Academy and the third-place candidate in the most recent imperial examination, had indeed taken sick leave.

His father had once been the General Who Conquers the North, but grave hidden injuries from the battlefield had forced him to lay down his armor and retire.

Later, he had presented ideas for saddles, stirrups, and horseshoes, directly doubling the fighting strength of Great Qi's army. For that great achievement, he had been granted a marquisate and was now the Marquis of Shuoping.

Emperor Hongyao remembered once summoning him for a private audience and asking how he had come up with the saddles, stirrups, and horseshoes.

He had said that while teaching his youngest daughter to ride, she had repeatedly complained about how difficult it was and proposed the ideas.

He had found them interesting and tried to make them for her. After many adjustments, he had never expected them to work so well.

As a result, Emperor Hongyao had bestowed additional treasures and curiosities that a young girl would like.

The Marquis of Shuoping had two daughters and a son. His eldest daughter was already married, while his son and youngest daughter were twins.

So the Hanlin Academy compiler who had come to court today was not the Marquis of Shuoping's heir, but his youngest daughter, Shen Anxin.

By now, quite a few gazes had fixed on the rear of the civil officials' ranks.

At Emperor Hongyao's signal, the Brocade Guard lurking in the shadows also drew quietly closer, keeping their guard up at all times. Yet they could not see Shen Anxin moving her mouth at all.

They could only see her obediently keeping her head lowered, as though lost in a daze.

Naturally, they could not see the owner of the other, childlike voice either.

But Shen Anxin noticed none of this. She was so excited that she hadn't even paid attention to the fact that no one had spoken for a long time at court.

Shen Anxin: [Ah, never mind all that for now. Quick, quick, quick! You can tell me what kind of system you are now, right? A lottery? Clocking in? Signing in? Please don't be one of those systems that kills me if I don't do tasks!]

Shen Anxin had been unlucky. After dying in her previous life and transmigrating, she had originally been bound to a system, but after loading for ages, it had run straight out of energy and gone dormant, leaving her to wait.

Like a wife turned to stone waiting for her husband, Shen Anxin had waited two whole years.

Every day, she had sung "A Thousand Years of Waiting" in dejection. No one could call her dramatic. If she had never been bound to a system in the first place, she would never have had any hopes.

But having a system she couldn't activate was no different from having money in the bank without the password to withdraw it.

Every day, Shen Anxin had scratched her ears and cheeks wondering what kind of system she would have. Now it had finally arrived.

Everyone, tense because of the strange occurrence: ...What are all those words she's babbling? We can hear them, but we can't understand them!

System: [Hehe, congratulations, Host. You've been bound to the Gossip System. The system is now officially renamed Chacha.]

Shen Anxin: [Chacha? Eating melons? Digging up other people's secrets and gossip?]

Chacha: [That's right. No one within a hundred meters of Host can escape my Gossip System. As long as there are melons, I'll make sure Host can eat her fill.]

The officials shuddered. Wait! What kind of Arabian Nights ability is that? Isn't it even more Brocade Guard than the Brocade Guard?!

The Brocade Guard: ...A sense of unease, as though layoffs are coming. A career crisis?

Shen Anxin suppressed the corners of her mouth. [Oh, you... Am I that kind of person?]

Everyone: Then stop smiling when you say it!!!!

Chacha: [Host, I'm an excellent judge of character. You are exactly that kind of person. Have you forgotten how you died in your last life?]

Shen Anxin: ...

The officials: A previous life? Reincarnation? Or a wandering ghost taking over a body? They seemed to have heard that the Marquis of Shuoping's youngest daughter had been simple-minded for years and had only improved in the last two.

Shen Anxin was speechless. Her death in her previous life really had been unfair.

She had only gone over to watch someone catch a cheater in the act, and the wife and the mistress had ended up joining forces to wage war on the dog of a scumbag.

They had beaten the scumbag until he fled with his hands over his head. As he ran, he chose her direction and knocked her straight into the road.

A Dayun Express truck had been coming right at her, and it had swiftly dispatched her here, where she had entered a soulless shell of a body.

Her parents in her modern family were divorced and had families of their own, leaving her rather superfluous. In that world, apart from a proposal she had revised more than a dozen times without getting it approved, she had little to hold on to, so she had happily accepted her new life.

Still, having Chacha bring up the cause of her death was embarrassing.

Shen Anxin: [Can we still have a pleasant chat or not? If we're chatting, don't air my shortcomings. If you're airing my shortcomings, we're not chatting. Don't you know the rules?]

Chacha: [Host, you have to be careful when eating melons, or you'll run into Dayun~]

Shen Anxin: [By that logic, I might as well not eat them at all. Safety first!]

Chacha immediately backed down. [Don't, Host! I was only joking. We'll eat them secretly and not let anyone else know. It'll be perfectly safe.]

The officials felt every bone in their bodies tense. No, it's not safe at all. We can all hear you, especially the one at the head of the hall!

Shen Anxin: [But I'm afraid I won't be able to control myself. If I have a melon and don't share it or expose it, how is that any different from a eunuch visiting a brothel?!]

The officials: Is that really how you describe it? Is it?!

Eunuch Chen: I feel insulted, but then again, perhaps I wasn't.

Shen Anxin: [Besides, if there's a melon about something that offends heaven and reason, wouldn't keeping it quiet be helping a tyrant do evil?]

The officials: ...

Emperor Hongyao: Judging by their conversation, they sound more like two guileless children chatting. They pose no danger to Great Qi, and this Gossip System may not be a bad thing.

Besides, this Shen Anxin has a righteous heart. That is important. After all, unimaginable power cannot be allowed to fall into the hands of someone with wicked intentions.

Chacha: [Don't worry, Host. When I reveal melons and you eat them, that counts as completing tasks, and you can earn points. You can exchange those points for items in my points shop.]

[Ding ding ding, special offer on the newbie gift pack! For just one point, you can exchange it for a defense and damage-reflection buff~]

[Item description: defense and damage-reflection buff~ Only Host herself can equip it. Whenever someone wants to hurt Host, bad luck will descend from heaven to stop the evil deed!]

[This is a rule-level golden finger. Hurry and eat a melon so you can exchange for it, Host.]

Everyone: Defense and damage-reflection "eight fortunes"? The name is strange, but the ability is truly formidable. Isn't that the same as heaven itself watching over her? If it's real, Shen Anxin really can live in peace until old age.

Shen Anxin, however, was somewhat unimpressed. [Other people's newbie gift packs are free. Never mind that yours costs points, the golden finger you're offering isn't much either. Why not just give me absolute defense?]

Chacha: [We still have to follow this world's Heavenly Dao rules. We can't make things too outrageous out in the open. It wouldn't do to frighten ordinary people, and we have to give the higher-ups some face.]

Shen Anxin: [All right, let's see whose melon to pick first...]

Everyone was still pondering and analyzing the conversation when they suddenly felt a chill down their backs, as though a gaze had swept over them.

The officials: Is the King of Hell calling the roll?! I don't want my little secrets exposed! Don't look at me! Don't look at me! Don't look at me.

The Hanlin Academy scholar standing in front of Shen Anxin, her direct superior in her current identity, especially wished he could vanish on the spot.

Emperor Hongyao raised his eyes. "Summon Shen Anlan, compiler of the Hanlin Academy, to step forward and answer."