The Fruit Problem

Great Qi had been reasonably justified in conquering the nine kingdoms before, but if it went to war with Southern Xia now, it might not even be able to rally the people's support.

They had finally begun to improve the people's livelihoods and live better lives, only to make them endure even harsher days of war again. No one could accept that.

It was what people called a sin in the present age, a benefit for a thousand generations. It was not a burden an ordinary emperor could bear.

Besides, once a great war began, Western Rong and Northern Di would be watching like tigers stalking their prey. Great Qi might fall into the abyss of eternal ruin.

So peaceful development was the only option.

Shen Anxin: ...Chacha, you're a great ruler of your generation!

Chacha: Proud!

Shen Anxin: You have no idea how disappointed I was when I first opened a map and discovered that even after unifying the nine kingdoms, Great Qi still covered less land than Southern Xia. It was clearly number one in military strength, so everything else should have been number one too.

Everyone: ...Sorry! We let you down!

What should they do? Her words had stirred a restless urge in their hearts.

No, Shen Anxin was clearly just running her mouth. She was a young girl who knew nothing of the people's suffering during wartime. Development within Great Qi was more important, especially with wave after wave of natural disasters coming. They ought to stabilize things first, not let a casual joke disturb their minds.

Shen Anxin really was just running her mouth, like when she had chatted nonsense online in her previous life. If the world could develop peacefully, that was naturally best. No one truly wanted war, and a civilized world should not have war.

But after Shen Anxin said all that, everyone in Great Qi suddenly felt less tense.

Soon, the delegation arrived.

As the ceremonial official announced them, the vast procession of envoys entered Great Qi's imperial palace.

This time, as many as three hundred people had accompanied the Southern Xia court's delegation.

At their head were Southern Xia's Grand General Who Stabilizes the State, a censor, the minister of rites, and an imperial preceptor who looked quite extraordinary, with the air and bearing of an immortal.

The others were deputy envoys, scribes, ceremonial officials, medical officers, and guards.

There were also thirty people dressed in matching academy uniforms. They were representatives of Jixia Academy who had come along.

Though not many people were allowed into the Hall of Heavenly Mandate, every one of them held their head high, without the slightest humility, regardless of rank, status, or age.

Their arrogance was practically overflowing, and they radiated an oppressive air.

It was as if they were born a cut above the people of Great Qi present.

The civil and military officials of the court all looked displeased. They had imagined Southern Xia would be arrogant, but they had not expected it to be this bad. They were looking down on them, plain and simple.

Before, they might have been nervous, afraid of putting a foot wrong in front of the Southern Xia envoys and bringing shame on Great Qi.

But after the cleansing Shen Anxin had just given their minds, they found the Southern Xia people irritating no matter how they looked at them.

Especially when Shen Anxin suddenly made a comment.

Chacha, do you think their necks get tired, holding them stiff like that all the time? I'm curious. If everyone just ignores them, how long can they keep it up?

Chacha: Until they get a crick in their necks.

Pfft!

Everyone nearly burst out laughing.

The Southern Xia delegation: ?????

What was going on? Why were they looking at them as if they were a joke?

Shouldn't they be in awe of them?

This didn't match the information they had gathered beforehand!

Hadn't they been waiting nervously to receive them?

Hey, hey, hey, couldn't they show a little respect for their pride? They could see people from Great Qi laughing!

At this rate, they would look like clowns on a stage.

The Southern Xia minister of rites held his breath. Seeing that Emperor Hongyao had no intention of opening with pleasantries, he had no choice but to lead the delegation in paying their respects first.

"By order of our sovereign of Southern Xia, we pay our respects to the Son of Heaven of Great Qi."

After the Southern Xia representatives stepped forward one by one and introduced themselves,

Emperor Hongyao announced the opening of the state banquet held in their honor.

And only then did the real contest begin.

Not long after Shen Anxin sat down with Xiao Yanchen, the Southern Xia delegation began presenting gifts.

When the first item, covered by a red cloth, was brought in, a stench began to spread through the hall.

Emperor Hongyao instantly frowned, displeasure already showing on his face. Yet every member of the Southern Xia delegation looked utterly unafraid.

It seemed the gift had not simply gone bad, unless none of them had a sense of smell.

Shen Anxin: Huh? This smell is...

Hearing her surprised thoughts, no one gave them much consideration. After all, anyone who caught the stench filling the hall would wonder whether Southern Xia had gone mad, presenting something rotten in the hall. They truly had no fear of Great Qi's iron cavalry.

If the red cloth were lifted and they really saw something filthy, it would be a naked insult to Great Qi's emperor, and there would be no need to continue the talks to establish relations.

Everyone was puzzled. No matter how arrogant Southern Xia was, it would not strike so brazenly to their faces. They could only watch in doubt and suspicion to see what happened next.

"This is a southern specialty that our Southern Xia found with great difficulty. The conditions required to preserve and transport it are extremely demanding. We hope Your Majesty of Great Qi will like it."

When the Southern Xia minister of rites finished speaking, the red cloth was lifted, revealing an exceedingly bizarre object before everyone's eyes. They could not tell what kind of plant it was.

It was eight or nine inches long, with spikes on its skin and a crack in it. As the red cloth came off, a foul odor struck them in the face, like the smell of rotting meat. Some of the officials standing close by could not help covering their noses and gagging.

The sight nearly made the Southern Xia delegation burst out laughing.

They waited expectantly for Emperor Hongyao to fly into a rage and angrily demand an explanation.

As soon as the people of Great Qi questioned them, they would have won the first round.

Shen Anxin: Oh my god, it's a durian! Southern Xia has already found a place where durians grow? I only saw one in the System Shop last night! I nearly bought it, but then I remembered I've had a bit of internal heat lately, so I didn't place the order. That stench brings back memories!

The people of Great Qi, who had been about to get angry, froze when they heard her: ????

So this thing that stank like it was rotten was actually a valuable item that required points to exchange for in Shen Anxin's magical System Shop?

Their brains were taking critical hits.

Chacha: Host, do you want to eat it?

Shen Anxin: Huh? This is a state gift, and there's only one. How many pieces of durian flesh could it have inside? I'm just a minor attendant to the crown prince. How could Emperor Hongyao possibly let me have any? There wouldn't be enough to go around his imperial relatives and civil and military ministers.

Everyone: What was this? Was it really that precious?

Their worldviews were shaking...

Chacha: No, I meant to ask if you wanted to eat melon. The melon about this durian.

Shen Anxin: It's just a fruit. What melon could there be? Let's eat and find out.

Everyone: A fruit? That thing really was a fruit?!!!!!

Chacha: Host, just look at the civil and military officials of Great Qi. They've never seen a durian. Anyone seeing one for the first time will be struck by how ugly it looks, and with that impossible-to-ignore stench on top of it, no one will acknowledge its status as the king of fruits.

Everyone: It was even the king of fruits! Who crowned it?! Just who crowned it?!

Shen Anxin: That's true. And people react differently to durian. Some think it tastes wonderfully sweet and don't mind the stench, but others really can't stand the smell. One whiff makes them want to throw up, and they can't accept durian at all.

Everyone saw that some officials nearby really were on the verge of passing out from the stench, while others were all right. Understanding dawned on them: fruit could be picky about its people too.

Looking at it that way,

Some of the Southern Xia delegation were also frowning and holding their breath, looking as though they could not bear it.

Chacha: Durian really is rare, and there's nothing wrong with offering it as a tribute gift. The problem is that Southern Xia is up to no good. They deliberately chose a durian as their gift because northerners definitely wouldn't have seen one before.

They didn't explain it first, instead letting Great Qi misunderstand and using its deceptively ugly appearance to prompt Great Qi to question them angrily. Then they could jump out and laugh at Great Qi for being so ignorant and still having the nerve to blame them.

That way, they could turn the tables and seize every advantage from the moral high ground, making Great Qi lose face right from the start.

Shen Anxin: They really have a lot of tricks up their sleeves! So in the original future, Great Qi lost face?

Chacha: Yes, they were thoroughly ridiculed.

Everyone: ...Damn it!!!!

They couldn't even behave themselves when giving a gift! If not for Shen Anxin, they would probably have thrown this king of fruits away as garbage today.

Shen Anxin: They're so boring. Why is this like children playing house? They're just amusing themselves. Other countries don't know about durian either. Besides, doesn't Great Qi have anything the people of Southern Xia don't know about?

Chacha: It really doesn't. After all, they used to be one country, so Southern Xia knows very well what Great Qi has. Southern Xia found this durian in Nanyang in the past few years. There are very few of them, and they haven't had a chance to spread north yet, so they can use it to humiliate Great Qi.

If you can't stand it, Host, you can help. You know what it is, anyway. Maybe you can even use the chance to get a piece!

Shen Anxin: Please, look at where we are. Emperor Hongyao hasn't even spoken yet. Can a minor official like me interrupt? I'll wait for Emperor Hongyao to speak first. I don't think he'll start by questioning them angrily. He'll probably ask about it first, and then I'll play it by ear.

The people of Great Qi were eating melon, so they were strangely quiet, with no questioning, discussion, or angry debate.

That made the previously confident Southern Xia delegation uneasy. What was going on? Could someone recognize it?

The Southern Xia minister of rites stepped forward. "Your Majesty of Great Qi, the fruit is perfectly ripe and exceptionally delicious. May I invite Your Majesty to try it?"

They should be angry now, shouldn't they? They should be demanding an explanation! Hurry up! He was waiting to respond!

Shen Anxin: They're trying to roast Emperor Hongyao over a fire!

Emperor Hongyao narrowed his eyes slightly. "I have internal heat. It would be unwise to try it."

The Southern Xia delegation, waiting for a good show, all went rigid. Internal... internal heat?

Shen Anxin: What? Emperor Hongyao has internal heat too? What a coincidence! Huh? Wait, how does he know he shouldn't eat durian when he has internal heat?

Xiao Yanchen could only patch up the story. "Everyone, my imperial father has had internal heat lately. The imperial physician advised him not to eat any fruit at all."

Shen Anxin: Oh, I see. It's just an excuse. He gave me a fright. I thought they recognized the durian. Come to think of it, after such a huge incident in the palace, it'd be hard not to have internal heat.

By now, the Southern Xia minister of rites was having some trouble keeping his composure.

Wait, why were they speaking so calmly?

Did they know what this was or not?

Why hadn't either the emperor or the crown prince questioned the durian's stench?

No, they must never have seen it. They were just putting on a brave face, afraid of exposing their ignorance and losing face.

"Since Your Majesty of Great Qi cannot eat it, what about the crown prince of Great Qi? Surely he doesn't happen to have internal heat too?" The Southern Xia censor could not help speaking up, a note of sarcasm in his voice, as if he were about to expose some deception.

Xiao Yanchen looked at the censor calmly and amicably, then said slowly, "Naturally, I can eat it."

As soon as he said that, Great Qi's officials grew nervous. Although Shen Anxin had already provided some information, they still did not know how to eat it.

But Xiao Yanchen had already turned to Emperor Hongyao. "Imperial Father, may I have it?"

Emperor Hongyao nodded calmly, though his heart was in his throat. Did the crown prince really have a way to keep up the lie?

The eyes of both countries' delegations converged on Xiao Yanchen.

The tray holding the durian was brought before him.

Xiao Yanchen spoke at once. "Bring me a clean pair of gloves as well."

Xiao Yanchen asked for them directly, as if he knew how to eat the strange fruit.

When the Southern Xia delegation heard Xiao Yanchen ask for gloves, their expressions instantly soured.

Could this crown prince really know?

They had heard of Great Qi's crown prince before, an heir said to be wise and mighty. Southern Xia had scoffed at him.

But seeing him today, they found his looks and bearing truly remarkable.

And now his conduct had taken them aback as well.

For Great Qi, on the other hand, the crown prince's involvement always seemed to put people at ease, though they were still nervous. After all, they all knew perfectly well that they truly had no idea how to eat the thing.

In fact, Xiao Yanchen did not know either. He had merely taken a quick look and reasoned that a hard shell like that had to be peeled open. But the spikes were so densely packed that they were bound to hurt someone who was not careful, so asking for gloves was only a basic precaution.

As long as he acted as though he had made the decision without thinking, Southern Xia would be unable to tell whether he recognized the fruit.

Only after the gloves arrived and he put them on did Xiao Yanchen get a proper feel of the hard shell.

It would not be an exaggeration to call it a deadly weapon.

Xiao Yanchen continued handling the durian with a leisurely air, but he was actually stalling for time, thinking as he waited for Shen Anxin's thoughts.

He reasoned that he could probably start with the crack, but he was not very sure.

Fortunately, Shen Anxin did not keep him waiting long.

Shen Anxin: Holy shit, he really knows how! But watching the beautiful crown prince use both hands to pry open a durian along the crack at its base feels so incongruous!

The corner of Xiao Yanchen's mouth lifted. Just as he had thought.

With a pop, the durian was successfully pried open.

The Southern Xia delegation looked utterly displeased, but they had not given up yet. Perhaps Great Qi's crown prince was simply clever enough to figure out how to open a durian after a little handling, but did he know how many pieces of flesh were hidden inside?

Shen Anxin: Wow, those two pieces are huge! Keep going, keep going! Let's see how many pieces are hidden in the other cracks!

Everyone: There was more?

It had just split evenly in two, and they had thought the two exposed pieces were all there was.

Xiao Yanchen's expression remained unchanged as he continued prying it apart.

Soon, the Southern Xia delegation fell silent.

The people of Great Qi were astonished. They watched as pieces of flesh resembling cooked chicken were dug out one by one and placed on the tray.

Though there was still a strange smell, why did they look so plump and luscious?

Shen Anxin: This durian has come to repay a favor! So much flesh! Boo-hoo, I wonder if Xiao Yanchen can give me a piece.

Chacha: Host, there are some in the shop.

Shen Anxin: If I can get it for free, I absolutely won't spend points. Huh? Do you think the seeds inside the flesh can be saved and planted?

Chacha: Do you think that's possible, Host?

Shen Anxin: All right, I was just thinking about it. Looks like if I want to eat it in the future, I'll still have to eat other people's melons and save up points to exchange for it.

Everyone: ...No, please! We'll find a way to make Southern Xia present it as a gift every year, or stock up on it for you once trade opens between us. We promise you'll get to eat it! Don't eat melon over such a small thing!