Loneliness

Ge Bao'er had truly left Old Madam Lu stunned by kneeling before her.

Didn't she know her own status and background?

Her sudden demand to leave the Lu family was nothing more than an attempt to drag the old madam into putting on an act!

But Ge Bao'er's identity could not be exposed, so Old Madam Lu could hardly lose her temper in front of Lin Yunwan. Her face was ashen as she looked at Ge Bao'er, yet she had to ask with concern, "Are you having trouble settling in here? It's all right. Stay a little longer and you'll get used to it."

"Why do you suddenly want to go home?"

Lu Zhengliu walked in and asked the same question, putting on an act as well.

Ge Bao'er looked up at him, then quickly lowered her head again. "Old Madam, Cousin, I... I miss home."

She twisted her handkerchief in her hands, a bamboo-woven bracelet encircling her slender, pale wrist.

Lu Zhengliu stared blankly at her wrist.

The bracelet was their "token of love."

...Come to think of it, she could only stay all alone in the Hall of Longevity now. He had wronged her after all.

No wonder she wanted to leave.

Lu Zhengliu said gently, "If the servants haven't attended to you properly, we can simply punish them. If you go home alone, Cousin, outsiders will think the Lu family mistreats its relatives when word gets out."

Ge Bao'er hurriedly waved her hands. "No. The maids have taken very good care of me."

Nanny Yan kept her composure and came over to smooth things over. "The Heir Apparent is right. It must be that the maids haven't attended to you properly. I'll go punish them at once." She turned to comfort Ge Bao'er. "Cousin Miss, please stay here with an easy mind. Leave the rest to me."

Fingering her prayer beads, Old Madam Lu also gave ground. "You've simply been cooped up here too long. The Lu family isn't like the countryside; there are rather more rules here. How about this? I'll have Nanny Yan accompany you to offer incense and clear your head another day. Don't speak of leaving again."

Lin Yunwan joined in the persuasion. "If you miss your parents, Cousin, you can light everlasting lamps for them or set up memorial tablets and make offerings to them. Why go to the trouble of returning to your hometown?"

With everyone urging her to stay, Ge Bao'er lowered her head and said nothing, as though unable to refuse such kindness.

But she no longer seemed intent on leaving.

Seeing that Ge Bao'er had been persuaded to stay, Lin Yunwan rose to take her leave. She made a point of saying to her, "Old Madam dotes on you, Cousin Miss. If there's anything you want, just ask her."

Ge Bao'er nodded shyly.

Lin Yunwan left with her maids and Lu Chang'gong.

As for what happened afterward at the Hall of Longevity, she paid it no mind.

Zhu Qing, however, had taken the trouble to make inquiries and came especially to tell her, "Nanny Yan is taking Cousin Miss out to offer incense. They say they'll be gone for three days."

Lin Yunwan said indifferently, "Perhaps she really has been cooped up at home too long. A marquis's residence is a marquis's residence, after all. How could it be as free as the countryside?"

Zhu Qing sat nearby doing needlework.

She had also had to learn knitting and embroidery at the Marquis's Residence before. She was a skilled embroiderer, and although she had let it lapse at the estate, her foundation remained, and she had gradually taken it up again. She was making a pair of socks for Lin Yunwan to wear.

With her eyes lowered and a demure expression, she said, "Madam, please forgive me for speaking out of turn. I think..." She stopped as though reluctant to continue, deliberately piquing Lin Yunwan's curiosity.

Lin Yunwan was not particularly curious, but Ping Ye was beside herself. She craned her neck and leaned over to ask, "What do you think, Concubine?"

Zhu Qing glanced at Ping Ye and smiled. "You're still a young girl. There are some things you don't know, and it wouldn't be proper for you to know them."

"Ping Ye, you may go."

Lin Yunwan sent her away.

Ping Ye was dying of curiosity, but she had no choice except to withdraw. She and Tao Ye then eavesdropped from outside the curtain.

Zhu Qing said to Lin Yunwan in a low voice, "Old Madam said Cousin Miss's marriage was delayed for four or five years and that she's only twenty this year, but I don't believe it. I saw many women who had borne children at the estate. Cousin Miss doesn't look at all like a twenty-year-old maiden."

"Madam, I suspect there's something amiss with Cousin Miss... She's making a fuss about going back this time, perhaps because she can't bear the loneliness."

"A young girl and a married woman are different, after all."

Zhu Qing said, "Madam, you should understand what I mean."

Lin Yunwan gave a vague murmur of assent.

Although she had never experienced it herself, in her previous life she had seen Fire-Avoidance Pictures that taught the pleasures of men and women, and had overheard a few scraps of outrageous talk, so she knew a little about it.

Zhu Qing felt she had spoken out of turn again and said, "I have no proof; I'm only guessing wildly. I didn't mean to slander Cousin Miss. Please don't misunderstand, Madam."

Lin Yunwan did not reproach her.

Because everything Zhu Qing had said was right.

How could Ge Bao'er possibly endure twenty years of loneliness?

In her previous life, Ge Bao'er had often gone to temples to eat vegetarian food and chant sutras. Lin Yunwan had thought her a truly filial and charitable woman, and had even paid for incense oil for her deceased parents out of her own pocket. It had never occurred to her that Ge Bao'er was going out to meet Lu Zhengliu in secret.

The silver she had paid had probably given the adulterous pair money to enjoy themselves!

In this life, Old Madam Lu had never let Ge Bao'er go out. She and Lu Zhengliu could not meet at the Hall of Longevity, and a favored concubine had appeared out of nowhere. How could she not be anxious?

Lin Yunwan said to Zhu Qing, "Cousin Miss isn't a member of the household, after all, so it isn't my place to oversee her. But if something really does happen, none of us will escape being implicated."

Zhu Qing sighed. "That's just what I'm worried about."

Lin Yunwan said, "A cautious hand can steer a boat for ten thousand years. Don't let yourself get caught up in anything unclean. You're the only concubine in the residence, and Old Madam and Madam both... If anything unclean turns up or anything unclean happens, everyone will think of you first. Even if you had ten mouths, you wouldn't be able to explain yourself."

"Once you go back today, tell the people at your Rain Apricot Pavilion to be on their guard."

"I understand," Zhu Qing said.

She also wanted to remind Lin Yunwan to be careful, but of course she did not say it. Madam had always planned everything from within her command tent; even if the sky fell, it would not land on her head.

"I'll take my leave and go back to keep a closer watch over my quarters."

Lin Yunwan nodded and let her go.

As soon as Zhu Qing came out, Ping Ye and Tao Ye hurried out of sight. Their cheeks were blazing red, and the color did not fade for a long time.

When Lin Yunwan saw the two of them, she knew they had been eavesdropping on Zhu Qing.

She went ahead and told them, "The same goes for you two. Keep a closer watch on the courtyard gate. The eldest young lady and her family will be returning to the capital before long, and they'll stay with the Lu family first. There are quite a few women and men in the Xia family, and with so many people and hands about, it wouldn't matter much if something went missing. What I fear is that something that shouldn't be there might turn up. Then everyone would lose face."

"Yes."

Lin Yunwan continued, "Losing face would be a small matter. But if the rules are broken and something obscene and indecent happens, lives will be lost."

The two maids were terrified. Their eyes widened at once, and they said solemnly, "We understand. We won't let the slightest thing go wrong in Drooping Silk Hall."

Lin Yunwan nodded.

A little maid with her hair in two buns came running up outside. Ping Ye went out and soon returned, sighing. "Madam, poor Xiliu."

"What happened to her?"

Ping Ye said, "She was beaten with a board. Cousin Miss made a fuss about leaving, and didn't the Heir Apparent say the servants should be punished? Xiliu was the first person to serve Cousin Miss and the oldest maid as well, so she alone had to bear all the suffering."

They really had beaten a maid?

Lin Yunwan frowned.

Ping Ye went on to ask, "Madam, may I take some medicine to Xiliu?"

"Go ahead."

Lin Yunwan added, "Do your best to comfort her. She has a long life ahead of her, and there will always be a way for her to get ahead. Tell her not to do anything rash in a moment of despair."

After comforting Xiliu, Ping Ye ran back and said breathlessly, "Madam, you really did foresee things like a god. Xiliu was so aggrieved that if I hadn't held her back, she really would have dashed her head against something and killed herself."

Tao Ye said helplessly, "Of all people, she had to be someone Old Madam assigned to Cousin Miss, so it isn't our place to interfere. Comfort her if you must, but don't say anything that oversteps the rules."

Ping Ye said, "Do you take me for a fool? I know where to draw the line."