Izuna and Tobirama's Manzai (1)

After Izuna gave some instructions to the host, the host nodded, turned to the audience, cleared his throat, and began his introduction.

His words were extremely ornate, using phrases like "peerless beauty," "a jade tree in full bloom," and "as radiant as a jade tree standing in the wind," praising Izuna from head to toe until Izuna himself could hardly bear to listen.

The audience listened with great interest, occasionally letting out exclamations of admiration, as if every word the host said deepened their respect for Izuna.

Izuna stood on the side of the stage, holding Biwa), his expression slightly distorted.

Wasn't he supposed to keep the introduction as brief as possible? Is this host suffering from some kind of pretentious, overly literary affectation?! He's talking at such a long pace! No wonder the shows he puts on are so terrible!

The host finally finished reciting that ridiculously long string of praise and pointed to the side of the stage.

"In short, let's welcome Lord Izuna and the fake Lord Tobirama to bring us the show!"

Another round of applause and cheers erupted from the audience.

Izuna walked out carrying his Biwa, with the clone that had transformed into Tobirama following half a step behind him. The clone, bearing Tobirama's face, smiled slightly and nodded to everyone, looking... much more lively than the original Tobirama?

Hashirama couldn't help but glance at Tobirama's expression, but Tobirama seemed quite interested.

After all, this was their first time seeing how Izuna and Tobirama should interact.

As for Madara? Madara looked sour, Tobirama already found unacceptable. He never expected that Izuna would choose this Manzai Partner as his partner instead of him! He already disliked Tobirama, and now he disliked Tobirama even more.

Feeling the chilling killing intent emanating from beside him, Tobirama couldn't help but reveal Dead-Fish Eyes.

Izuna and the Pseudo-Tobirama stood in the center of the stage, and before the audience had quieted down, they began their introductions.

"Hello everyone, I'm Uchiha Izuna. Nice to meet you."

"I am the Pseudo-Tobirama Senju Tobirama, please take care of me."

The Pseudo-Tobirama turned to look at Izuna, a bright smile on his face that Tobirama himself would never have, "Izuna, although we are the same person, I still want to thank you for choosing me to be your partner on stage."

Izuna smiled and looked back at him, "You're welcome."

"No, no, I was just thinking, 'Will it really transform like this?'" The Pseudo-Tobirama raised his hand to touch his face, then his white hair, his expression showing a hint of curiosity. "Anyway, I'll try my best to look as convincing as possible. I hope the original doesn't see this."

Izuna waved his hand dismissively, "Hey, it's not like I'm going to do anything bad. What's wrong with borrowing it for a bit? After all, he's the hot-blooded tsukkomi (straight man)."

Pseudo-Tobirama tilted his head, seriously considering the assessment. "Is he really that passionate...? Well, he's definitely the one who makes the sarcastic remarks."

"I hope he doesn't hear this," Izuna in a low voice.

"I hope so," the Pseudo-Tobirama in a low voice, playing along with him.

Tobirama in the audience. "..."

I heard you completely! Is this really how you see me?!

Ban burst out laughing from the side.

The audience laughed along, even though they didn't know the "original" was sitting in the audience, but that didn't stop them from finding it very funny.

Izuna straightened up and resumed his normal voice. "Anyway, it's not bad to give everyone a performance like this."

"Yes, that's right." Pseudo-Tobirama agreement.

"Speaking of which, Izuna rested his chin on his hand, as if deep in thought, "Lately I've become quite obsessed with things like gods and demons."

"Um."

"After all, this is the Land of Hot Water. The culture here seems to be highly intertwined with gods and spirits. Even their leaders are Seven Lucky Gods Division. That's quite interesting."

"Yes, that's true." Pseudo-Tobirama nodded.

"I believe in the existence of gods and ghosts," Izuna said seriously. "After all, even Ninjas, who are completely illogical beings, exist."

The Pseudo-Tobirama's expression froze. "Please, please don't make sweeping generalizations, okay?"

"What?" Izuna asked innocently.

"Why are Ninjas illogical?"

"Don't you find it strange that a person can breathe fire and water?"

The audience burst into laughter.

The Pseudo-Tobirama opened his mouth, but couldn't find a rebuttal for a moment. "Uh..."

"Anyway, I believe in the existence of gods and ghosts," Izuna steered the conversation back on track.

"Yes, me too," Pseudo-Tobirama echoed.

"You believe that too? But it's true," Izuna tilted her head to look at him, a mischievous smile in her eyes, "After all, you're the kind of person who digs up dead people from the ground to do research."

The Pseudo-Tobirama's expression changed, and he quickly waved his hand. "We're just telling the truth, and everyone here is about to fly away in fright, so stop talking!"

The audience laughed again. Although they didn't quite understand what they were hearing, the rhythm of the two people singing back and forth on stage was really funny.

Tobirama felt like he'd been subtly insulted; Izuna was definitely getting revenge on him! And it turned out Izuna knew he was using the Impure World Reincarnation!

"Anyway, while learning about gods and ghosts, I discovered something."

"Hmm, what is it?" the Pseudo-Tobirama asked.

"That means some people will use the name of God to establish religions and lure people in."

"Oh, yes, such organizations do exist."

"Right? We call this Evil Cult, right?" Izuna nodded.

"Uh-huh."

Izuna turned to the audience, his expression suddenly becoming serious. "Everyone, let me make this clear beforehand. It's not that I'm looking down on you, but with the help of a sophisticated Scam Syndicate, you could really fall into Evil Cult Den and be swindled out of both your money and your life."

"Yes, we need to be careful." Pseudo-Tobirama nodded from the side.

"Regarding this matter," Izuna said with a smirk, "We Ninjas are probably the pioneers at the forefront."

Some audience members couldn't help but laugh.

The Pseudo-Tobirama looked helpless. "What do you mean by 'front line'? It sounds so evil."

"In short, to prevent everyone from being scammed, let me first expose those common tricks." Izuna said seriously.

"Oh."

"To prevent problems before they occur."

"Oh, I see."

"Let's take this opportunity to teach everyone a lesson."

"That's a really good idea, Izuna."

Izuna changed the subject. "However, those who are most likely to fall for it are probably... mostly... old men and women."

The audience burst out laughing.

The Pseudo-Tobirama was speechless. "You really have a sharp tongue, Izuna. You said older people are more respectful, right?"

"But aren't you the kind of person who lives a long life?" Izuna tilted her head to look at him.

Some audience members understood what he meant and couldn't help but chuckle.

"No, you—" Pseudo-Tobirama choked.

"To put it bluntly, someone like you is considered quite old, isn't he?" Izuna persisted.

Some of the audience members also started to realize what was happening and burst out laughing.

"Are we the same age?"

"And his hair is completely white," Izuna pointed to the top of his head, "That must be late-stage old age, right?"

"That's not true at all!"

The audience members who hadn't understood before finally got it and burst into laughter.

Tobirama the audience, stared with Dead-Fish Eyes: "Haha..."

Madara was laughing so hard he was practically dying of laughter. He had one hand on his knee and the other patting Tobirama's shoulder so hard that Tobirama almost fell forward.

Tobirama said, "Enough with the destruction."

Hashirama sat on the other side, desperately trying to suppress his laughter. His face turned red, and his shoulders trembled.

Pseudo-Tobirama took a deep breath, trying hard to maintain his smile, "I was born this way, okay? Besides, Ninjas usually die in their thirties or forties, where would I find an elderly one?"

The laughter from the audience suddenly fell silent.

"What a hell," Izuna exclaimed.

"What a hell," the Pseudo-Tobirama echoed.

"Let's skip this topic." Izuna waved his hand, deciding not to dwell on it.

"Um."

The audience burst into laughter again. Although they had never heard of the concept of hell before, they immediately understood what it meant, and the atmosphere became incredibly lively.

"But I just feel like you might get infected." Izuna suddenly brought the topic back.

"Why? Didn't you say I'm High-IQ Crowd? I would never fall for that." The Pseudo-Tobirama said confidently.

"That's what everyone who gets caught says," Izuna held up a finger and wagged it, "Saying things like 'I'll never get caught,' and when they go on missions they say things like 'I'm Perfect Ninja, I won't die,' and then... crack!"

The audience couldn't help but laugh, even though they felt they shouldn't, because what Izuna said was just too dramatic.

The Pseudo-Tobirama's lips twitched. "Kuzak and all that..."

Below the stage, Ban's smile vanished.

Izuna! Why don't you just say your name?! Aren't you the epitome of Perfect Ninja?!

Is it really okay to talk about one's own death like this?!

Wait, didn't he never die? How would he know about this? Madara suddenly recalled Izuna's attitude towards death at the beginning.

... Izuna, so you've died too?!

"It's all the same principle," Izuna continued, oblivious to the changes in the Pseudo-Tobirama, "You'll fall for it, you definitely will!"

"I already said I wouldn't."

"Really?"

"Of course it's true, you definitely won't get infected."

"Then I'll try to persuade you." Izuna, her eyes crinkling.

"Okay, okay." The Pseudo-Tobirama his arms, appearing ready to accept anything.

"You'll fall for it right away."

"No problem, I won't fall for anything you say."

"Then let's give it a try."

"Great!" The Pseudo-Tobirama straightened his back, full of confidence.

They moved their positions slightly, with the Pseudo-Tobirama remaining in the center of the stage, while Izuna moved to the side.

The Pseudo-Tobirama strolled leisurely on the stage, looking around aimlessly, like a passerby idly wandering the streets.

Just then, Izuna came around from the side of the platform and blocked his way.

Hello, sir.

The Pseudo-Tobirama stopped and looked him up and down. "Hello? Is there anything I can help you with?"

"Hello, hello," Izuna said with a slight bow, his tone excessively enthusiastic, "Are you Tobirama Senju?"

The Pseudo-Tobirama hesitated for a moment, then said, "Yes... I am Tobirama Senju."

"Me?--"

"Uh-huh."

"He's from some kind of Evil Cult, the lowest-ranking nobody."

The audience laughed.

The Pseudo-Tobirama gave a blank "hmm".

Izuna rubbed his hands together, adopting the look of a newbie who was just starting out and not very skilled. "Um, I'm in charge of recruiting people into the Evil Cult. My name is Uchiha Izuna, and I Former Masato Faction."

Upon hearing this, even the most serious Samurai couldn't help but burst into laughter.

Because the name "Masato" is now synonymous with a notorious traitor; being associated with him will earn you universal contempt. How could anyone possibly follow you if you used that name to recruit someone?

The Pseudo-Tobirama had clearly thought of this too, his expression strange, as if asking, "Are you really here to deceive me?"

"... Hmm." He responded with a subtle, indescribable tone.

Izuna, oblivious to what was happening, continued, "Well, regarding current affairs, my Big Brother told me—"

"Um."

"Well... you're still a newbie, so try using people Sacrifices first, that's what the Big Brother say."

The audience laughed again, saying, "No one's going to go with that!"

The Pseudo-Tobirama smirked, his tone flat. "Mr. Uchiha Izuna from the antisocial Evil Cult."

"Yes, that's right."

The Pseudo-Tobirama opened his mouth, but for a moment he didn't know what to say, "Um..."

"Anyway," Izuna leaned forward half a step and lowered his voice, "Is it convenient to talk now?"

"No... well, right now there might be a bit of a time constraint..." Pseudo-Tobirama took half a step back.

"It won't take long," Izuna waved his hand, appearing very magnanimous. "Anyway, just find something to write down."

Pseudo-Tobirama hesitated for a moment. "Alright?"

"Then please write it down."

The Pseudo-Tobirama assumed a writing posture in a small notebook, his hand hovering in mid-air. "Hmm."

"That one, Bishamonten Shrine, is deep in the mountains to the left."

"Um."

"After passing a cliff, isn't there a cave?"

"Um."

You will find a Formation there.

"Um."

"Stand there and make the hand gestures for Hai, Xu, You, Shen, and Wei."

"Um."

"Then you can summon Demon God and Sacrifice you."

The audience burst out laughing.

The Pseudo-Tobirama, expressionless, clenched the air in his hand and said, "Who would go?"

"And then?" Izuna asked expectantly.

"I'm not going, give up on me." The Pseudo-Tobirama's tone was resolute.

"Why?" Izuna tilted his head, looking puzzled.

"Are you part of Evil Cult?"

"Um."

"Still at the grassroots level, right?"

It's an anti-social Evil Cult.

"Is the business still about recruiting people to be Sacrifice?" Pseudo-Tobirama became increasingly speechless. "If you just say it out loud, no one will go! Who would want to Sacrifice their life!"

"Does Lord Tobirama feel reluctant to part Tobirama me?" Izuna blinked, his tone carrying a hint of innocent doubt.

Even Tobirama couldn't help but laugh out loud at this unexpected remark.

Pseudo-Tobirama nearly choked on his own breath at those words: "You're saying that... Who would risk their life to summon Demon God?"

"I understand," Izuna nodded, his face showing a sincere expression that said, "This time I didn't think things through." "Then I'll leave for now. Next time... I'll try to strike up a conversation with you using the 'It's me, don't you recognize me?' line."

The audience burst out laughing; the opening line sounded like the kind of rhetoric used by someone playing a close friend.

The Pseudo-Tobirama widened. "What the hell?! Do you think saying this will make any difference? Besides, I already know you!"

"Then I'll take my leave." Izuna bowed and turned to run away.

"Uchiha Izuna! You--"

Pseudo-Tobirama stretched out his hand, watching helplessly as Izuna disappeared rapidly from the side of the stage, his face showing an extremely complex expression, a mixture of unspoken words and a final sigh.

The audience roared with laughter.

Hashirama laughed so hard he slapped his thigh, tears almost streaming down his face.

Tobirama himself sat there, his expression even more complex than the Pseudo-Tobirama on stage; it was Dead-Fish Eyes that seemed to say, "What did I do wrong to deserve this kind of treatment?"