Pouring Out Her Pain (II), Continued

"I'm sorry." Gu Anqi could do nothing but apologize now, unable to say another word.

He was afraid that the more he said, the more mistakes he would make.

For the first time, he also understood what his younger sister was thinking, and even had a faint idea why her resentment ran so deep.

Every one of them spoke of their guilt, yet demanded that their younger sister be obedient and well-behaved in exchange for her family's love.

Without realizing it, they all compared the two sisters.

Even though they knew that the two had once lived worlds apart, like clouds and mud.

"I'm grown up now. I don't need your hypocritical concern anymore. Please understand: if I had a choice, I would never choose to be your sister or a daughter of the Gu family!"

Gu Wanning looked out the window.

Willows trailed along the riverbank, and sunlight made the water shimmer as if gold had been scattered across it. Playful children swam in the river, their little heads popping above the surface from time to time. Small boats dotted the water, and a bare-chested boatman gleefully hauled in a lively, wriggling carp.

The midsummer scenery was so beautiful, yet her heart was cold as ice.

She faintly heard a voice from the bottom of her heart—Thank you. Thank you for helping a tongue-tied person like me say the things I couldn't say.

I'm leaving. Please live on in my place. I'm going to find somewhere better.

Tears welled on Gu Wanning's lashes.

There was no such thing as truly sharing another's pain in this world. Those who suffered had to keep silently bearing their hardships and losses.

But why should they?

Miss, if it truly hurts so much, then please go and find your happiness without worry.

I don't know why I came here, but since I've taken your place, I'll live well for you.

The greatest evil the original owner of this body had supposedly committed was "tormenting" the concubines.

But how had she tormented them?

She had made them work in the fields. That was the worst treatment she could imagine.

That was the hardship she had endured.

Compared to the ways people in the inner courtyards of great households devoured others without spitting out their bones, she really was "vicious."

"Wanning, your eldest brother was wrong. I hope you can give me a chance to make it up to you."

"Now that the child's dead, the milk has come," Gu Wanning said bluntly. "If you really want to make it up to me, then find a way for Xu Weibei and me to divorce by mutual consent! I want to establish my own household as a woman and live without depending on anyone."

"Wanning, how could you think of doing that? It's such a difficult path. The Marquis, he..."

"I don't want what you think is best. I want to make my own choice," Gu Wanning said coldly. "That's the compensation I want. Apart from that, there's no need to bring it up again."

The saddest thing about all this was that there was no satisfaction to be had in repaying kindness or settling grudges.

None of the Gu family were truly irredeemably wicked people.

They, including Gu Wanqing, were even widely praised as good people by worldly standards.

Why did people like reading wish-fulfillment stories?

Because real life was no wish-fulfillment story.

"Don't think you're so clever or presume you know best. You think letting Xu Weibei punch you without making an issue of it or holding him accountable was for my sake? Sorry, but I don't appreciate it. The only thing I want is to leave him, leave all of you, find a quiet country estate, and live my own life."

"If you can help me, I'll thank you."

"If you can't, then don't come and disgust me. Lord Gu, I've said all I have to say. Goodbye."

Gu Wanning rose and walked out.

"Well, well, Eldest Young Master, I'll be going too, then," Er Ya said awkwardly.

She actually thought Gu Anqi was a very good person.

Perhaps she was slow-witted and her feelings were simple, but if Gu Wanning hadn't broken it all down today, she wouldn't really have understood Gu Wanning's hatred for her birth family either.

In any case, though, she saw Gu Anqi through a favorable lens.

That was because, when Gu Wanning had brought her away from the estate, Gu Anqi had made the decision and helped make it happen.

"Go on," Gu Anqi said, waving a hand. "Take good care of her."

He would find Er Ya another time, when he had the chance.

Today, beneath his younger sister's relentless bombardment, he had been so ashamed he wanted to crawl into a hole, but he had also felt as though a vat of enlightenment had been poured over his head.

They really did owe their younger sister far, far too much...

"Hey, what are you doing?!"

"I—I'm not doing anything. I—I'm protecting Madam!"

As soon as Gu Wanning stepped outside, she saw Fourth Concubine clutching Gao Lan's collar and refusing to let go. Her head began to ache.

"Let go. What kind of behavior is this? Aren't you afraid the Marquis will chop off your claws?"

"Madam, he was outside eavesdropping on your conversation with your eldest brother," Fourth Concubine said.

But Gu Wanning had lost interest. "Let's go. We'll visit Rongrong's family's pawnshop, and then I'll treat you all to a meal."

There was nothing in what she had said that she couldn't let others hear.

Xu Weibei already looked down on her, so adding a few judgments like "unreasonably argumentative" and "narrow-minded" was little more than a tickle to Gu Wanning.

"Wasn't Second Sister treating us to a meal? Eldest Sister got some silver, so she's treating us to dinner..." Fourth Concubine said, counting on her fingers.

She was actually a sweet young woman. As long as her hackles weren't raised, she had a sweet tongue and was very likable.

"Either way is fine."

Perhaps the others could tell she was in low spirits, for none of them dared speak.

Gao Lan felt he had escaped a calamity and couldn't help secretly rejoicing, but there was some pity in the way he looked at Gu Wanning.

Before, he had only known that Madam had grown up on an estate, that she liked making trouble, and that she was an annoying household-wrecker. He hadn't known there was so much more to it.

Perhaps, just as Madam had said, everyone knew what had happened, but no one had thought about it from her position.

Madam really was pitiful.

Gu Wanning took everyone to the pawnshop and several of the Jin family's other shops, throwing her weight around like a fox borrowing a tiger's might.

"When you open your doors for business, you're bound to run into people without eyes. If you have any trouble, tell me. For small matters, go to my third brother; he knows a lot of people in the Imperial Guards. If you run into a real troublemaker, I'll ask the Marquis for help."

Second Concubine nodded as though pounding garlic, thinking that Madam was indeed putting her heart into the task and that she would have to show her proper gratitude later.

She called her fifteen-year-old younger brother out to pay his respects to Gu Wanning.

Gu Wanning gave him a prepared pouch of gold and silver ingots—taken from the storeroom. When giving rewards, she could take things from the household's shared stores without anyone finding fault.