Jiraiya, Friend of Wine and Women

Konoha, women's bathhouse.

A white-haired young man had sneakily bored a small hole in the wall. Holding a strange little notebook, he wore a lecherous grin as he watched and rapidly took notes.

Hanma stood behind Jiraiya with a smile, recklessly running his Predatory Aura talent at full power.

Jiraiya had been indulging in his strange little hobby when his heart suddenly lurched and every hair on his body stood on end.

A strange, dense stench of blood invaded his nostrils. His Chakra inexplicably stirred, and a wave of weakness washed over him.

Jiraiya sighed. That peculiar presence... that bastard had come looking for him again.

He spun around, kicked backward, and threw out a string of Kunai, using the momentum to open up a long distance.

His left hand had already formed the Snake seal, the quick opening stance for Katon: Gōryūka no Jutsu.

His right hand held a Summoning Scroll, ready to summon the Toads of Mount Myōboku.

His white hair swung around to his chest. Those familiar with him knew this was Ranshijigami no Jutsu, his unique Yang Release defensive technique.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk." Hanma clicked his tongue disdainfully.

Several afterimages flashed through the air, and the eight Kunai Jiraiya had thrown were neatly gathered in Hanma's hand.

Actually, Hanma would have been fine even if he had not dodged. But his clothes were new, and expensive.

"Is this all Sarutobi old man's disciple can do now? Jiraiya, don't tell me all your training takes place in bathhouses?"

Dressed in loose sportswear, Hanma smiled as he mocked Jiraiya.

The moment Jiraiya saw Hanma, he angrily threw a punch at Hanma's shoulder.

"You bastard! How many times have I told you not to suddenly appear behind people, and to stop releasing that irritating presence of yours?!"

"And why have you gotten tougher again? Damn it, don't you have any bottlenecks?"

Jiraiya shook his aching hand.

As for Hanma's relationship with the Sannin, it could not exactly be called love-hate, but it was certainly complicated.

Hanma's father had been Kagami Uchiha, a teammate of the Third Hokage.

Kagami had stayed behind with the Second Hokage back then and died on the battlefield in the Land of Lightning. Hanma had only been five years old at the time.

So after the Third took office, he had always been quite tolerant and supportive of Hanma.

Hanma was both an Uchiha and someone marked by the Hokage faction. His background could be said to be quite complicated.

Especially after Hanma abandoned the Sharingan and chose the path of taijutsu, the Third felt an inexplicable sense of delight and freely lent him a great number of Konoha's taijutsu techniques from various schools.

As a transmigrator, Hanma understood the uniqueness of his own path. After graduating from the Ninja Academy, he had not joined a Genin squad, instead becoming the first Uchiha to join the Anbu.

Only in the Anbu, through real killing, could he gain the experience needed to exchange for Entries as quickly as possible.

Pulling weeds or looking for cats and the like? Hanma could only scoff at such work.

As a result, while the Sannin were still running errands, Hanma unexpectedly became "someone else's child," and Sarutobi old man was always nagging them about Hanma.

After becoming a Chunin, this fool Jiraiya had challenged Hanma more than a few times over such matters. The results, naturally, had been miserable.

Tsunade, on the other hand, came from the direct Senju line and held an inexplicable hostility toward the Uchiha, but she could not withstand Hanma's shameless pestering.

After all, who could refuse a man with a great body, plenty of money, a witty sense of humor, and, most importantly, the ability to casually catch her Monster Strength Punch?

Of course, they had not confirmed their relationship yet.

Orochimaru was Hanma's fellow book lover.

Hanma often discussed the origins of life, the fate of ninja, why creatures like daimyo existed, and other subjects with him. They could be considered academic friends.

But the person he was closest to was still Jiraiya. As for why, of course it was because of the three great bonds between men. Those who understood, understood.

After all, Hanma often underwent inhuman training, leaving his nerves too tightly strung. He needed to relax completely.

If he did not want to become a madman who knew only training and killing, then naturally he had to experience the izakayas unique to ninja villages and soak in warm baths.

Hanma rubbed his hands together, heavily slapped Jiraiya's shoulder, hooked an arm around his neck, and said with a grin:

"When would I ever have a bottleneck? You, on the other hand, better watch out. The day after tomorrow, I promised little Minato I'd deal with you."

Jiraiya immediately howled:

"You bastard! You stole my little Minato, and now you're trying to steal my Tsunade too! You've been sneaking up on me from behind since we were kids!"

"Uchiha Hanma, you really deserve to die! Aaaargh!"

Hanma remained perfectly calm, still wearing that serene expression.

"Well, as for Minato, I treated him to lollipops when he was five."

"And as for Tsunade, maybe you can talk about dating her after you can catch one of her punches?"

Jiraiya's face reddened as he muttered,

"How can you slander a man's innocence like that?

"If I let Tsunade hit me a couple of times and spend a few days recovering, does that really count as getting beaten up?"

"Taijutsu isn't all that interesting anyway. Did you know Fire Release has four opening stances? I can teach you."

For a moment, the air was filled with cheer.

A smile tugged at Hanma's lips as he grabbed Jiraiya and ran toward an izakaya. These were some of his rare moments of happiness.

After three rounds of drinks and five courses of food.

Reeking of alcohol, Jiraiya wrapped an arm around the Utage attending beside him and asked carelessly:

"What exactly are you planning this time? Are you going to become the commander-in-chief of an army?"

With a smile on his lips, Hanma helped cover the chest of the Utage beside him, drawing a burst of coquettish laughter, then slowly said:

"What? Looking down on me because I just became a Jonin?"

Jiraiya smacked his lips, picked up the sake flask, clinked cups with Hanma, and said in a deep voice:

"Anyone who looked down on you is probably dead by now. You freakish bastard, it's time those old men in the Jonin Squad saw your strength for themselves."

"But your identity is sensitive too. All these years, you haven't contacted the Uchiha, nor have you sided with our Hokage faction. No one can figure out what you want."

Hanma narrowed his eyes. "Commanding an army does sound good. I need military merit right now. If I can't get that position, I'll apply to conduct solo hunting operations."

"Ah—"

Jiraiya let out a long sigh. Over the past two years, as Hanma's strength had rapidly increased, gossip about him had also kept piling up.

With his overwhelming strength, he obeyed orders but ignored commands. Rather than an Anbu, he was more like the village's conflict-generating machine.

After all, every ninja Hanma killed was either torn in half or had his head burst like a watermelon. The sight was unbearable.

That sort of death was extremely rare in the ninja world. Ninja pursued efficiency, and unless they possessed strength approaching that of a Kage, most still relied on assassination.

If someone like Hanma served in the Anbu, the opposing villages would not even need to investigate. They could immediately identify Konoha.

But why had Hanma remained in the Anbu for fourteen years, even sending off two Anbu Captains?

Because he was simply too useful.

It was like putting a tank in a melon patch. Basically, no one would dare steal melons. It was an abstract sort of logic.

Even Shimura Danzō had once said, "Although Root needs Hanma more, he has done well in the Anbu."

Honestly, earning praise from that uncle-in-law was no easy feat, Jiraiya thought wistfully.

"Alright, Jiraiya, see you the day after tomorrow. If we draw each other, don't lose too badly in front of Minato."

Hanma picked up the Utage sitting beside him with one arm and headed toward the resting room of the izakaya.

"Hey, hey, hey! If you do that, I'm telling Tsunade!" Jiraiya shouted in dissatisfaction.

Hanma casually waved a hand and said as he walked away, "We haven't started yet."

Jiraiya froze slightly, then shook his head and laughed bitterly.