Eating at Your Own Wake

Magnolia

"Big bro... don't you think everyone in town is acting kind of strange today?" Natsu tugged at Feng Lan's sleeve and asked.

Feng Lan glanced around. "Yeah. The way they're looking at us... is a little weird."

Misterlan hesitantly asked, "Um... Feng Lan, your guild's style is pretty unique, huh?"

Feng Lan asked blankly, "Huh? What style?"

Then Feng Lan and the others saw the guild. "What's going on here? Th-This! Aren't these all things used at funerals?"

Natsu asked worriedly, "Someone in the guild... someone in the guild died? We were only gone for a week, and something happened already?"

Feng Lan shoved the doors open and strode inside. "Everyone, what's going on here!?"

With tears in their eyes, everyone stared blankly at Feng Lan and the others, suddenly at a loss for what to do.

Wendy cried out and hid behind Erza. "Ah! Big Sister Erza, th-they're ghosts!"

Erza instantly requipped a sharp longsword and shouted shakily at Feng Lan and the others, "D-Don't come any closer! Begone, evil spirits... Begone, evil spirits!"

Laxus jumped behind a table. "Feng Lan, don't worry. I'll make sure to burn offerings for you. You definitely can't be suffering over there. Rest easy, brother. Go in peace, don't keep worrying about us..."

Feng Lan stared at everyone in the guild in bewilderment. "No, who exactly died?"

At those words, the guild members hesitated too, then awkwardly asked, "Shouldn't... shouldn't it have been you guys?"

Feng Lan and the others tilted their heads, question marks practically covering their faces. "Huh? We died? When did that happen?"

Laxus said uncertainly, "We... got the letter this morning..."

Natsu looked around. "So... the guild was preparing... our funeral?"

Everyone nodded together. "Mm-hmm."

Feng Lan said with a face full of black lines, "No... we struggled to survive in the desert for days, barely made it out alive, then rushed all the way back just to attend our own funeral?"

Erza asked Feng Lan in disbelief, "So... you didn't die, right?"

Feng Lan said speechlessly, "Is that okay? If not, I can go die once right now."

Wendy suddenly darted out and buried herself in Feng Lan's arms. "Sob... Big Brother, Wendy thought you were dead. I thought I'd never see you again!"

Half of Feng Lan's displeasure immediately vanished. He gently stroked Wendy's head. "Don't worry. I won't leave Wendy all alone."

Elfman hurried over to check on Lisanna. "Lisanna, it's really great that you're okay!"

Lisanna said with a giggle, "Hehe, relax, relax. Big Brother Feng Lan was with us."

Erza looked at Natsu and Gray. "Good, it's good that you made it back! How did the mission feel?"

Gray shook his head. "Captain Erza, Gray is applying to return to the team..."

Erza nodded. "Mm. Looks like it was quite a good experience."

Natsu muttered with a dark expression, "How could you tell..."

Erza chopped Natsu on the head and said, "Natsu, do you have an objection?"

Natsu hurriedly shook his head. "N-No!"

Laxus patted Feng Lan on the shoulder. "Feng Lan, congratulations on coming back from the dead... Also, who's this guy?" As he spoke, Laxus pointed at Misterlan beside them.

Feng Lan smiled. "Ah, this is Misterlan. We owe our safe return this time to him, and he wanted to join our guild, so we brought him back."

Laxus sized Misterlan up from head to toe. "The old man's in that room. I'll take you to see him, and tell him Feng Lan and the others aren't dead while we're at it."

Feng Lan stood up. "I'll go."

Laxus shrugged. "No, no, I'll go. You should go see your little girlfriend over at Central Park~"

Feng Lan paused. "Ah, Mira. I really should let her know... And if you keep talking nonsense, just wait."

With that, Feng Lan walked out of the guild and headed toward Central Park.

"Sniff... Feng Lan, Lisanna..." Mira sat alone beneath a large tree, weeping softly.

Feng Lan silently walked up behind Mira and patted her shoulder. "Yo, I'm back..."

Hearing his voice, Mira suddenly turned around. "F-Feng Lan!? Y-You weren't...?"

Feng Lan wiped away the tears at the corners of Mira's eyes. "Whether it's me, Lisanna, or everyone else... we all came back~"

Mira's tears burst forth again as she tightly wrapped her arms around Feng Lan. "Mm... welcome home. Welcome... home!"

Looking at Mira, who was crying her eyes out, Feng Lan gently pulled her into his arms and said softly, "Mira, I'm sorry... I made you worry."

That night, at the Fairy Tail guild.

Makarov wiped away his tears and shouted, "To celebrate Feng Lan and the others returning alive, as well as our new member Misterlan joining... it's party time!"

"Ooh~ Cheers!"

Feng Lan sat down beside Makarov and asked, "Old man, where's Misterlan? Why don't I see him?"

Makarov shrugged. "No idea. As soon as he finished joining, he took on a mission by himself and set off to wander around. What a shy child."

Feng Lan sighed. "Sigh~ Seriously, I wanted to find a chance to thank him again."

Makarov asked with some concern, "Feng Lan, why are you so down? Does today's food and drink not suit your taste?"

Feng Lan shook his head. "No, it's all pretty good..."

Makarov asked curiously, "Then what is it?"

Feng Lan rubbed his hair. "Because I keep feeling like... I'm eating at my own wake..."

"Pfft! You really do have a knack for feeling things..." Makarov couldn't hold it in and laughed. "By the way, did something happen during this mission? With your strength, it shouldn't have been this difficult, right?"

Feng Lan awkwardly took a drink. "Well... let me tell you..."

Then Feng Lan explained the entire course of events to Makarov.

After hearing it, Makarov clutched his stomach and burst into laughter. "Hahaha! So it was because you went out without a compass or map. That's absolutely pathetic."

Feng Lan said irritably, "If you think you can do better, then go ahead. You might not even survive as well as I did."

Makarov said mockingly, "But... I don't get lost~"

Feng Lan wordlessly took another drink. "By the way, where's Gildarts?"

Makarov opened another bottle of alcohol. "Him? He went off on a mission. Gildarts is wild as hell; he hardly ever stays at the guild."

Feng Lan smiled. "Hmph, isn't that pretty good? A wandering hero roaming the world. It's got a certain charm to it."

Makarov said with a face full of black lines, "What kind of wandering hero goes out carrying a whole bag of photo books..."

Feng Lan stared at Makarov. "Like you have fewer than he does."

Makarov looked at Feng Lan speechlessly. "You have them too... Don't think I don't know. Either we form an alliance, or neither of us gets off easy..."

Feng Lan awkwardly took a drink and checked that no one around them had heard. "A happy alliance..."

Makarov wore a wicked grin. "Seriously, if I couldn't get a handle on a brat like you, then I'd have lived these past decades for nothing..."