Tsunade Is Pregnant

My wife was pregnant, but I wasn't the father. I grabbed a knife and furiously went after the adulterer, lost the fight, got shoved into a river, transmigrated into the Naruto world, met Tsunade, and had a one-night stand!

Don't ask why I was able to take Tsunade down. In truth, she got drunk and took me down!

Because I looked so much like her deceased first love, Kato Taka—no, wait, maybe it was Kato Dan or something. I couldn't remember his exact name. Anyway, he was from the Kato family!

Konoha

Medical Room

"Lady Tsunade, y-you... you're p-p-pregnant!"

A female medical ninja wearing a Konoha forehead protector held the test report in trembling hands, staring in disbelief at the breathtaking beauty before her.

"Xiao Yun! Look what you've done! I'm going to kill you!"

A thunderous roar rang through the room, nearly blowing the roof off the building.

Konoha

Residential District

A handsome man lay on his bed, drool from the corner of his mouth soaking through his pillow. His expression shifted from arrogant to lecherous, then into a broad grin, while he kept muttering in his sleep.

It looked like he was dreaming!

"Baka yarou, Uchiha Madara, kneel down and call me Daddy! Hehe..."

"Senju Hashirama, what the hell are you acting so smug for? I rode your granddaughter!"

"Come on, Tsunade, get down. Let's put on a show for your grandpa."

"Kaguya, what are you glaring at? Sooner or later, I'll make you the mother of my children."

Bang

Just as Xiao Yun was having a sweet dream, the door was kicked open. The shock sent him leaping out of bed.

The intruder was none other than Tsunade, with whom he had shared a fleeting affair.

"It's so late, and you're still in bed? Get your ass up!"

Tsunade charged at Xiao Yun with a savage expression. The bouncing motion of her chest left him dizzy and lightheaded.

"Tsunade, let's talk this out! Please don't hit me!"

Xiao Yun panicked. He remembered the last time he and Tsunade had finished their business. When he woke the next morning, he had intended to whisper some sweet nothings and go for another round. But once Tsunade realized what had happened, she wore this very same expression, and he had nearly been beaten to death.

"This is all your fault! I'm pregnant! I'm going to kill you!"

Like she was grabbing a chick, Tsunade lifted Xiao Yun off the ground. Her eyes were bloodshot as she glared at him, looking like she wanted to skin him alive and swallow him whole.

Boom!

Xiao Yun's eyes widened. Tsunade was pregnant? And the child was his? Was his aim really that accurate? Did he hit the target in one shot?

That couldn't be right. He had been with his previous wife for so long and still hadn't gotten her pregnant; they had even needed someone else's help! So how had Tsunade gotten pregnant after just one time?

When had his aim become so accurate? Could it be that he had awakened some kind of transmigration cheat in that department?

"Tsunade, this isn't something to joke about. We only did it once. Think carefully—during this time, was there anyone else you... you know? Being made a father out of nowhere, I..."

"Baka yarou! What kind of woman do you take me for?"

Before Xiao Yun could finish, Tsunade let out an earthshaking roar and viciously slammed him onto the bed.

Bang

The wooden bed instantly split in two. The pain nearly made Xiao Yun pass out, and he spat a mouthful of blood straight onto the ceiling.

"Remember this. From today onward, you are not allowed to tell anyone about this. If you leak even one word, I'll kill you."

"Also, starting today, you'll spend eight hours a day practicing ninjutsu, eight hours practicing taijutsu, and eight hours practicing genjutsu."

"In one year, graduate as a Genin. In two years, graduate as a Chunin. In three years, become a Jonin. In four years, become an Elite Jonin. In five years, become Hokage."

Pfft!

Xiao Yun spat another mouthful of blood onto the ceiling. What did she take him for?

Livestock? Spending all twenty-four hours of the day training!

A genius? Even Madara would shed tears at this training plan. Minato would cry and run home to his mommy after seeing it, and Itachi Uchiha would hear it and flee overnight carrying a bucket!

"Yamete, Tsunade, can't we discuss this? After all, you were the one who forced yourself on me that night. If not, just abort the child. Your plan is really..."

Bang

Tsunade threw another punch and roared at Xiao Yun, "Discuss my ass! I don't want my child to have a useless father. Do as I say!"

Pfft!

Xiao Yun felt like he no longer had enough blood left to spit out. He looked resentfully at the woman before him, every fantasy he had ever had about her while watching Naruto shattering into bubbles.

If he could go back to that night, he would rather chop himself off with a knife than give in to her.

Still, come to think of it, I, Xiao Yun, have offspring now!

Dad.

Mom.

Our Xiao family finally has descendants. Too bad I can't bring the child home for you to see.

"Come with me!"

Tsunade grabbed Xiao Yun and jumped out the window. After several leaps, she arrived at a vast stretch of wasteland behind Konoha.

Bleurgh!

"Tsunade, can't you slow down?"

Xiao Yun vomited. All that jumping up and down had nearly made him throw up everything he had eaten the night before.

"From now on, you will train properly. If I catch you slacking off, heh heh..."

Hah!

With that, Tsunade drove a fist into the ground.

With a thunderous boom, dust filled the air and rocks flew everywhere. When the dust settled, a massive crater stood before Xiao Yun.

"Starting now, train your Chakra perception. Sit cross-legged and don't move! Move even once, and I'll punch your eyes out!"

"Focus on sensing the Chakra drifting through the air. If you still can't sense Chakra by this time tomorrow, I'll castrate you!"

Tsunade roared, and Xiao Yun shuddered before immediately sitting cross-legged.

Damn it!

I'm already the father of her child. Is it really so hard to let me live off her?

"Reporting to Lady Tsunade, I need to pee."

"Hold it. If you can't, piss yourself."

"Reporting to Lady Tsunade, mosquitoes are sucking my blood. I want to scratch myself."

"Let them suck. Don't move until they've sucked you dry."

"Reporting to Lady Tsunade, I..."

"Shut up."

Night

"Lady Tsunade, do you truly intend to keep the child?"

The speaker was Shizune, Tsunade's personal guard.

Tsunade let out a long breath. Her stunning face was full of sorrow as she looked up at the bright moon hanging in the sky, her gaze complicated. She murmured, "Dan, I'm sorry. I'm carrying another man's child. It's just that he looks too much like you! Shizune, do you think Dan would understand?"

As she spoke, Tsunade gently stroked her lower belly.

"He should understand, right? Lady Tsunade, after the child is born, do you plan to be with Xiao Yun?"

Shizune looked at Tsunade in confusion.

"I..." Tsunade hesitated, a faint blush appearing on her face. After a long while, she said, "Probably. After all, he's the child's father. I only hope he can understand me and grow stronger quickly."

"In these troubled times, lacking strength means death can come at any moment. I truly don't want my child to grow up without a father's love!"