So I wrote (padded) an A-route chapter. (For why I was courting death like this, please refer to "The Fake Leave Request for Courting Death.")
-------------Just kidding. I simply suddenly got an idea for the A route. Really!--------------
"According to the rules of the Holy Grail War, Kirei Kotomine has requested the Holy Church to protect my personal safety."
"I accept. As the supervisor of this war, I, Risei Kotomine, guarantee your safety. Now then, please come inside."
The hypocritical act played out according to its proper rhythm in the church on the outskirts of Fuyuki City's new district. Under the roof of a place that should have been devoted to worshipping God, a shady deal that could not see the light of day was taking place. It was truly a tremendous irony.
"And that's why I don't believe in God. Look—"
A pleasant voice rang through the corridor of Fuyuki Church, whose decor was solemn and lavish by the standards of a Western religious site in the East. Though the speaker's words mocked faith in God, the two people walking down the corridor did not speak up to defend their piety. Rather, they simply continued deeper into the church as if they had heard nothing.
"Doing things that violate your own doctrine on your own turf—"
With no one paying attention, the speaker grew even more brazen in her mockery.
"Messing around with men and women on your own birthday—"
The strange thing was that although the voice uttering blasphemous words in the church was crisp and loud, it could not produce even the faintest echo in the empty corridor. It was as if the sound waves were directly reaching the ears of the two men dressed as clergymen.
"Messing around with men on other days too. Hmm, though that seems to be especially serious only at the Vatican headquarters—"
Once the door to the priest's office at the very back of the church opened, the two men who had kept straight faces all this time finally stopped acting. Father Risei put on an expression that said he knew everything and eagerly asked, "Everything is proceeding according to plan, correct?"
"And even then, no divine punishment descends. Hehe."
Rather than answering Risei's question, the girl finished the three-part jab she had been building up. Hidden entirely beneath a black hood, she turned over on the altar where she had been lounging in a thoroughly casual pose, then stretched like a cat.
Still ignoring his Servant, Kirei Kotomine said to his father in a serious tone, "There is no problem. But Father, could someone be monitoring this church?"
"They would not. This is a protected neutral zone. Any Master attempting to act against this place will receive a warning from the Church. Anyone who knows what trouble that would bring and still comes here to harass the defeated should be..."
"Should be the one over there, shouldn't it?"
Interrupting Risei Kotomine's confident words, Jizi pointed at one wall of the priest's office.
"Oh... I forgot you can't see it." Jizi spread her hands in what was meant to be a helpless gesture, but for some reason it looked exceptionally awkward and stiff. With a self-mocking smile, she explained to the two men staring at her questioningly, "I can sense a familiar outside monitoring this place... though it seems to be quite far away. Even if it wants to watch, it probably can't see anything."
"...Forget it. Let it watch. If we deliberately deal with it, we will only expose more of our own information. Besides, it would be difficult to catch such a small familiar through manpower alone."
"That's the real reason, isn't it? You can't handle it yourself, and if you send me, we'll be completely exposed. Hehe. But you've already guessed who did it, haven't you? Your beloved is watching you. Doesn't that leave your whole body hot and restless?"
"Your meaning is unclear. Are you suggesting that Kiritsugu Emiya and I have some strange relationship?"
"That wouldn't be strange. Please call it phil♂osophy..."
Knowing perfectly well that continuing such pointless conversation with this abnormal Servant was meaningless, Kirei Kotomine turned to discuss the following plans with his father. Having failed to get a reaction, Jizi got up and stretched before heading for the door. But as she opened it, she heard that voice, which had remained calm all along.
"If you truly cannot clear it all away, why not construct another body? I mean the wood chips inside you. You will not need to fight from here on out anyway, and my Mana is still enough to support it."
"None of your business!"
Having the dumbest thing she had ever done since birth pointed out, Jizi stormed out and slammed the door behind her.
------After all, Assassin was at least Muslim. There was nothing strange about mocking Christians, right? Courting death—cough, cough, I mean, if you're putting on an act, you have to go all the way------
"Did you hear? That family's child went missing."
"Another one? How many cases has that been already?"
"Recently, it isn't just child disappearances that have increased. There also seem to be quite a few thefts."
"The places being robbed all seem to be bookstores?"
"And according to people living near those bookstores, strange lightning appears in the sky at night, even though the weather forecast clearly says there are no rain clouds."
"And there's more. At night, a shadowy figure appears and moves between rooftops so fast the naked eye cannot even follow it."
As the grand ritual known as the Holy Grail War officially began, Fuyuki City, the stage upon which it was set, also became increasingly strange. Certain bizarre rumors began to spread quietly through its streets and alleys.
Rumors could not be trusted, but to a certain extent, these bits of gossip passed around by ordinary people and constantly embellished could occasionally capture part of the truth.
"The first few are understandable, but what's with that last one? Are they talking about me?"
Jizi, who had neither assumed spirit form nor used Presence Concealment to hide herself, merely switching to human form and wearing a nun's habit casually swiped from the church as she walked through Fuyuki's streets, let out a helpless sigh at the street rumors she had overheard.
"I only wanted to try feeling like Lord Wayne, so I didn't use Presence Concealment. I never expected ordinary people to spot me. Am I really that weak? Even if I'm a latecomer, I'm still a Heroic Spirit..."
Ah, she had originally wanted to clear her head by experiencing the atmosphere of a foreign city in an era before her birth. Instead, she had only made herself unhappy... Hmm? Wait, what have I found here?
"Shh... There's a lone one over there. Hmm, all right, it's the Saber King and her lady appearing in a pair. We can try to capt—follow them. A yuri couple can provide us with a great deal of FFF power. The energy they contain is six times that of heterosexuals, but yuri couples are not easy to deal with. Let me approach from behind. Be careful not to make any sound."
"Hey! I caught—nonsense, I got caught..."
"Airi, this person has been following us all this time."
"I struggled really hard! But even if you cut off my head, the rest of me still can't be eaten raw, and you absolutely mustn't roast me over a fire. My true body is a wooden mask."
"Saber, do you know what she's talking about?"
"If you can bite through me, I'll definitely be delightfully crunchy. Because it's important, I'll say it again: my true body is a wooden mask. But I absolutely won't taste like chicken."
"That's enough nonsense. Who exactly are you? What is your purpose in following us?"
-------Whenever I see a yuri couple, especially my king, I can't help wanting to tease them. Hey, didn't I say the A route wouldn't be comedic?------
"So you are a nun from the local church."
"So because Christianity has not spread well in the East, the Church has not developed very well either, and you wanted to ask whether we were believers after seeing foreigners?"
"So the Church has already fallen so low that it cannot even afford food and has to send nuns out to solicit donations from believers?"
"It seems Sister's gains today have been quite meager."
"Though we cannot be called believers, no reason is needed to help someone in trouble. Meeting is fate. At the very least, helping Sister fill her stomach would be easy enough."
"No need to thank us. We hope Sister can pull herself together and continue using her strength to help the people here resolve their doubts."
"Well then, goodbye, Sister. It's getting late, Saber. Let's return to Einzbern Castle."
After confirming that Saber and Irisviel had gotten into the car and driven off along the road toward the outskirts of Fuyuki City, Jizi wiped the oil and food scraps still lingering at the corner of her mouth, then turned and ran toward Fuyuki Port.
What had happened several hours earlier could roughly be summarized as follows:
Jizi had deliberately allowed the yuri couple to discover her, then activated the Inherent Skill of a transmigrator—talking nonsense—to gradually lead the two of them from the seaside shopping district toward an area near the new outskirts. She had then found a restaurant and used food to hold Saber's attention. Now, no matter how much Lancer released his presence, Saber would never notice him.
Thus, the first battle of the Holy Grail War in the truest sense—the classic showdown at the docks—had been interfered with.
That was precisely Jizi's goal. Without Saber, perhaps while Lancer was fighting another Servant, Kiritsugu could more conveniently snipe Lemonhead. After all, this time there would be no Assassin suddenly appearing to interfere, right?
Even if Kiritsugu had other plans and did not intend to make a move, hehe, Jizi would not simply sit back and do nothing.
If the one fighting Lancer was not Saber, who likewise upheld chivalry, would Lancer still be as at ease as before? Would he still spare consideration for his Master?
Jizi's true target tonight was the Lancer pair, the kind that made people sigh, "Your circle is really a mess."
-------I seem to have also said that the A route would not change the plot too much. Well... the principle is courting death anyway. As for who is courting death, please refer to "The Fake Leave Request for Courting Death." There's nothing strange about going back on my word, right?----------
Behind the Scenes:
After Jizi stormed out of the church, the father and son remained in the room.
Risei: Kirei, ever since your wife died, you seem to have... no, I mean, recently, you seem to have devoted too much attention to the man Kiritsugu Emiya?
Kirei: Father, what are you trying to say?
Risei: ...Kirei, it's nothing, really. I just want to hear the truth from you.
Kirei: I will answer honestly.
Risei: Do you really like men?
Kirei: ...
Risei: It's fine even if you do. Didn't Assassin say so earlier? For people in our line of work, messing around in Brokeback Mountain is nothing strange. There are plenty of people in the papal court keeping boy toys. In fact, when your father was young, I also...
Kirei: Father, please stop!
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