The worm chamber of the Matou Residence... After Jizi and Sakura gave it a thorough cleaning, it ought to have been called a basement now. At its center, two men were playing out a chase: one clad in heavy azure armor fled ahead, while the other, wearing a gray-blue hoodie and sporting graying hair, pursued him from behind. Yet neither of them put any force into their movements, as though they were deliberately putting on a performance.
On the stairs leading down to the basement—shrouded for some reason in white mist, creating the sensation of standing amid heavenly clouds—stood a magnificent red-haired giant. The mist before him condensed into a massive ring, within whose center the scene in the basement appeared. Frowning as he watched the ring, the man spoke in a booming voice: "Ah, I see with my own eyes our beloved man being pursued, fleeing in panic along the city walls. Hector fills me with pity. He often devoted to me the fat thigh bones of mighty bulls atop rugged Mount Ida, or piously offered them in the citadel of Troy. And now brave Achilles chases him relentlessly around Priam's city. Gods, think carefully and advise me: shall we save his life, or let this noble man perish today beneath the hands of Achilles, Son of Peleus?"
As soon as his words fell, a slender figure emerged from the mist. Her voice was clear, melodious, and captivating, and even her words sounded like poetry: "Father of lightning, god who gathers the clouds, what are you saying? The fate of a mortal destined to die has long been set. Do you wish to spare him dreadful death? Do as you please, but do not expect our approval."
The giant revealed a hesitant expression, but it lasted only an instant before he quickly replied, "Tritogeneia, dear child, do not be hasty. What I said was not any sort of plan. May it be as you wish; do whatever you wish, without delay."
The slender woman reached into the mist gathered around them and tore off a piece of cloud as though pulling cotton candy apart. Standing atop it, she floated over to the white-haired man and spoke winged words: "Achilles, beloved son of Zeus, today we wish for the Achaeans to return to their ships with victory. Unconquerable Hector shall be slain by us. He can no longer escape our grasp, no matter how Apollo strives to help him, even crawling before shield-bearing Father Zeus in supplication. Stop and catch your breath. I shall go to him now and persuade him to fight you to the death."
The white-haired man wore a bitter smile as he spoke helplessly. "Caster..."
The woman immediately cut him off. "Ah, it seems this long chase has exhausted you and muddled your mind. Swift-footed Achilles, you actually got my name wrong. I am Athena, protector of Athens, mistress of war and wisdom."
"Heh heh..."
-----------The readers have probably figured out what is going on, but let me explain anyway----------
The negotiations with Rider's group went so smoothly that it was almost unbelievable. But after considering Rider's character, it seemed only natural. It did not take much effort to find the Mackenzie couple's home. Jizi boldly knocked on the door and earned the old couple's trust by claiming to be "a classmate Weber met while studying in Canada," gaining the opportunity to speak with Rider's group face-to-face.
The discussion was very simple—because making up lies under the piercing gaze of the King of Conquerors of Macedonia was not easy, and even if she managed to fabricate something, it would certainly be seen through by a king skilled at judging people. So Jizi chose to be direct.
Berserker's identity and long-held wish, the grudges between The Three Families, Sakura and Yanye's affairs, the truth and hidden schemes behind the Holy Grail War, Angra Mainyu and the Black Grail, as well as Jizi's own purpose—aside from her identity as a transmigrator, Jizi revealed practically everything she could.
The source of such unreserved trust was naturally Jizi's understanding of Alexander the Great—Iskandar's character.
And Rider indeed lived up to the name of a great hero of his generation. Or perhaps he had sensed the sincerity in Jizi's eyes. After hearing her account, he did not deliberate for long before agreeing to her terms, and both sides forged an alliance of mutual offense and defense. System notification: King of Conquerors has joined the party. King of Conquerors' Queen Consort has joined the party.
What terms? Come on, wasn't it obvious? Yangtze wanted a reckoning with Artoria—or rather, he only wanted to get S-ed by her one-sidedly. Jizi wanted to purify the Holy Grail, while the Emperor wanted to obtain the purified Grail in the end. As for the Masters, Yanye wanted to screw Tokiomi into the ground, while the Queen Consort wanted to prove that, even without an outstanding bloodline, he could become a magus capable of standing on his own. Since there was no irreconcilable conflict between their goals, they could happily work together, each getting what they wanted in the end.
A successful plan ought to have been cause for celebration. By ordinary logic, this was when they should have gathered the strength of three Servants and steamrolled everything in their path with absolute force. Unfortunately, none of these three could be judged by ordinary standards.
Take Yangtze, for example. He might fight Saber later, but he would definitely do it in the form of a knightly duel. Then there was Rider: he did not want the Holy Grail War to end so soon. More than that, he wanted to use this rare stage to exchange views with heroes and champions from different eras. If possible, he would preferably recruit them under his banner; if they were the sort who could not be recruited, then they would have a grand and stirring clash. As for Jizi, who ought to have been the most anxious about the war's progress, she said she had never counted herself as DPS in the first place, which was why she kept looking for cannon fodder... I mean, allies. Since their friendly forces had no intention of taking the initiative, she could only go out at night to farm some... uh, Assassins. Speaking of Assassins, after Jizi went on a godlike killing streak against them once, those people had become increasingly cunning. The moment they sensed her presence, they fled at top speed, leaving her helpless.
As for the Masters' thoughts? Heh heh. Yanye, who had only one Command Seal left, needed no explanation—besides, he was busy controlling a little girl. And as for the Queen Consort, could anyone expect someone known as the ultimate bottom of the Fourth War and F/Z's first female lead to control Rider?
So what were this bunch doing now?
As the saying went, once people had food and warmth, they started thinking about sex; when they had nothing to do, their balls hurt. So, with their balls hurting, they began acting like idiots. Besides, Jizi still had that mental-pollution buff—everyone remembered that, right? The opening scene of this chapter, for example, was recreating Rider's favorite work—the Iliad.
Rider, said to be Zeus's son, played Father Zeus. Jizi played Athena. After making a brief guest appearance as Aphrodite at the beginning, little Sakura sat in the audience to watch the show. The powerfully built Yangtze playing the great hero Hector did not feel out of place either. But having Yanye play Achilles, greatest among warriors... Heh heh. The only reason he was still cooperating was because Sakura had shown interest in this play—or rather, this farce. Damn lolicon!
As for Weber...
"Was it this face that once launched a thousand ships and burned the towering walls of Ilium?"
Rider held the chin of a "beauty" in a teasing manner. He wore a luxurious long dress and had ink-black hair flowing down like a waterfall. His skin was milky white, and lips coated with some unknown cosmetic shimmered like pearls. His lovely face seemed carved according to the golden ratio, while his large black eyes could convey a thousand charms and countless shades of tenderness with merely one aggrieved glance, pouring out the emotions within their owner's heart. Any man would offer up his life just to erase the sorrow hidden within those bright eyes. "She" was Helen, the most beautiful woman of the West. As those delicate lips opened and closed, they spoke sweet nothings capable of making emperors and kings forget their realms...
"Rider! I've had enough of you! This is the Holy Grail War! Why are every one of you like this? Could you please have some self-awareness?! I crossed thousands of miles from the Clock Tower to come here, not to play house with you people! Every time, every single time, you always mock me! Did I do anything wrong? Those stubborn old fools were jealous of me, so they rejected my thesis... And now you people too... I only wanted to prove myself!"
Oh dear, it seemed they had gone too far. ←_←
"Ha ha ha ha! My little Master, you..."
"I don't want to hear you talk! You're supposed to be my Servant, right?! My familiar, right?! Why do you always make decisions on your own? And this ridiculous alliance—you never even asked for my opinion!"
"Well," Jizi interjected, "what would asking your opinion have changed? Would you really have made a different choice? An alliance between our three sides is the best option. You, who always call yourself an outstanding magus, can't you calculate something this simple? Besides, we have three Servants here. The Holy Grail is practically already in our..."
"That's not it! That's not the kind of victory I want! If I win by relying on the Servants' strength, then my worth as a magus will never be shown at all..."
So he was throwing a tantrum now? In the original story, it seemed the Queen Consort only started acting tsundere after witnessing the King's Army. Hmm, it must have been because I changed the plot. But since I happened to run into this, I'll give you a proper lesson. Teasing cute boys is truly so delightful—said Jizi, smiling in a thoroughly unsettling way.
"Then what is it that you seek from the Holy Grail? If that wish is enough to move me, then I..." ×2
"...the Witch of Flames..."
"...the King of Conquerors..."
"...will be duty-bound to heed your command." ×2
Watching the two Servants speak the exact same words in unison and bow to him with mirrored gestures, Weber could not find any words to answer. At that moment, he truly felt the sincerity of those two people he had judged to be the least reliable.
That feeling lasted for about five seconds before their next words ruined it.
"But after all, your wish is to grow taller..."
"Well, given your stature, wanting to grow taller really is quite a weighty wish. Then, for the sake of your height, allow me to offer my modest aid..."
"It was my fault for expecting anything from you... Are all heroes like this?"
"Uncle Yanye, what happened to this uncle?" After getting worked up, then being teased by Jizi and her husband(?), the boy had slumped into a dejected crouch—only to suffer another heavy blow. Uncle! Uncle! Uncle!!!! This little girl called me uncle!!!
"Ah ha, ahahaha. Sakura, let's go cook first. This, um, uncle has something to discuss with Caster and Rider." Comrade Yanye landed a fine blow. Weber had now turned ash-white, and a huge boulder could practically be seen above his head, engraved with two words—Uncle.
"Hmm?" Although she did not understand what was going on—in Sakura's eyes, everyone had been happily playing together, and then this uncle who looked pretty in women's clothes had suddenly become a sore loser—Sakura, who had long received Tohsaka-style education, still listened to Yanye quite well. After saying goodbye to everyone, she left the basement.
"Caster big sister, Rider uncle, Yangtze uncle, pretty uncle, please excuse me." Hearing those forms of address, Yanye felt an overwhelming sense of duty to keep Sakura away from Jizi, this source of contamination.
"Okay, Sakura." "See you later, beautiful young lady." "Thud!" "Thud!" The last two sounds were two more giant boulders—one labeled "Yangtze Uncle," the other "Pretty Uncle"—falling onto certain people's heads...
-----------I originally wanted to end the chapter here and start a new one just to tease the Queen Consort, but after thinking about it, forget it. Better to wrap up this artsy segment in one chapter and continue the cheerful nonsense afterward. Anyway, I said eighteen thousand words a week, not X updates a week, so as long as the word count is enough, anything goes... right?------------
"Boy, what exactly do you think the Holy Grail War is?"
"Of course it's to prove that I..."
"Wrong! The Holy Grail War cannot be the entirety of your life. No matter how mysterious or grand people make it sound, it is only a two-week magical ritual. Do you intend to realize all your value in those two weeks? At the very least, take fifty years!!"
"..."
"It seems you still cannot accept that. Then let's change the subject. Boy, what do you think a hero ought to be like?"
Hearing this question, Weber subconsciously looked around. Seated beside him was the famous Alexander the Great; across from him sat Lancelot, first knight of King Arthur's Round Table; and the one asking him this question was Jizi, who, although he did not know her specific deeds, surely possessed some extraordinary legend of her own. Boy, you are overthinking it. Beauty. Being able to sit with people like these and speak with them was itself an honor worth boasting about for generations. Such thoughts appeared in the mind of the now-calmed Weber.
But they clearly did not look like especially great people at all. Why could they be called heroes? That question continued to trouble Weber.
"Must a hero be some stereotyped existence who never makes mistakes, possesses great power, and has a noble character?" Without waiting for Weber's reply, Jizi threw out another question.
"That kind of..."
"That kind of thing is merely a symbol. Like a puppet manipulated by justice defined by worldly conventions, such a thing might indeed attract many admirers in a play. But as a person—without a vivid personality and desires, without the ability to stand at the forefront and inspire others with one's ideals, to conquer others with one's character—what right would one have to be celebrated through the ages? So a hero need not be a perfect person, but they must be the most distinctive person!"
After hearing Jizi's speech, Rider nodded in agreement. "I never expected that a woman like you, Caster, could offer such an insight. With such spirit, had you been a man, you would surely have become the ruler of a realm."
"You flatter me, King of Conquerors," Jizi thought. That was your theory to begin with. I'm merely plagiarizing it. So she did not continue the topic. Instead, she turned to Weber, who was still digesting the concept of "hero," and said, "Do you know, Weber? You too possess the potential to become a hero."
"Ah... what... I won't fall for one of your nasty jokes again!"
"As an ordinary magus, you know your own insignificance, yet you still have the drive to rise higher. You hold wishes in your heart that far exceed your own abilities. In past eras, that was precisely the principle by which people lived!"
"Are you mocking me for being an idiot?"
How had he interpreted it that way...? Was she really useless without her husband's teasing? Jizi looked helplessly at the Queen Consort, who seemed ready to flare up again. Just as she was about to say something else, a pair of large hands suddenly grabbed her shoulders and began shaking her.
"Oh, oh, oh! I never imagined that your ideals, Caster, would be exactly the same as mine! As expected of the queen I personally chose! Let me say it once more: become my woman, share with me the joy of conquering heaven and earth, and together let us reach the shores of Okeanos!"
Jizi: Damn it. Sure enough, stealing someone else's intellectual property brings karma, especially when the original owner is standing right in front of you...
But that was no excuse for a beefcake like you to cop a feel so brazenly! Receive the purification of flames!
And so, the atmosphere that had seemed poised to enter a slightly serious plot was completely destroyed. Jizi, Rider, and Weber once again began the noisy chaos that could probably be called their daily routine...
But Berserker, who had been quietly standing by for a long time, revealed a thoughtful expression after hearing Jizi's idea of what heroes were, spoken to guide Weber.
---------Author's Note--------------------
Everyone, this chapter was terrible, wasn't it?
I think so too.
Actually, this was not what I had originally planned in my head... More specifically, I had been revisiting F/Z these past few days and happened to watch episodes twelve and thirteen. There was that scene where the Queen Consort and the Emperor came out of the bookstore and embraced beneath the setting sun—cough cough, I mean, talked beneath the setting sun. For some reason, it resonated with me. That line about "though one is insignificant, one may still harbor grand aspirations" completely struck the G-spot of this poor loser who still had all kinds of fantasies in his heart and had not fully graduated from his teenage delusions. It gave me the urge to write something like it too. On top of that, because the plot had changed so much, I felt like I could not grasp the pacing, so I wanted to write a chapter about daily life and emotions. At first, I intended to use some cheerful scenes to bring out Weber's longstanding inferiority issues. Then, while the Emperor and Jizi guided him, their conversation would also influence Lancelot, laying some groundwork for Yangtze and Saber's later meeting. I also wanted to show Sakura gradually becoming brighter after being rescued, and Yanye's thoughts slowly shifting from "hatred for Tokiomi" to "hoping Sakura could have a wonderful future," and so on. But in the end, I tried to show too many things, so I showed none of them well and made the chapter a complete mess... So sad.
The coming chapters should be better... Because next up is probably the King's Banquet arc, which has been done even more often than Heroic Spirit summoning. Saber and Berserker will meet, and Jizi and Kiritsugu will also have a meeting. The plot will be more connected and flow in one go, so there probably will not be anything as awkward and stifling as this chapter...
To the readers who suffered through more than five thousand words of padding, I am truly sorry for today's chapter.
-----------by an author who felt so disgusted after rereading it that he thought he had to publicly apologize and explain
Before you continue