The moment Zaimokuza Yoshiteru heard that, he jumped up in agitation. "What do you mean, you took one look and said, 'Not as good as web novels'?!"
"It means exactly what it says. If your opening can't hook readers, what more do you want?" Tsukikawa Shu said, picking at his ear.
"I couldn't tell before, but Tsukikawa-kun is pretty popular, huh."
The Service Club was unusually lively today.
"There are two matters today. First, we'll help this classmate Zaimokuza take a look at his novel."
Hiratsuka Shizuka had once again lit a cigarette in the Service Club room, smoke curling through the air.
"Second, Isshiki has something to discuss with you regarding the exchange event with Seaside Comprehensive High School."
"I'll be relying on everyone for the exchange event too," Isshiki Iroha said in an adorably sweet voice.
Next came the time to tear apart Zaimokuza Yoshiteru's novel...
And Tsukikawa Shu and Yukino Yukinoshita took turns criticizing it.
"I think the plot setup is still lacking, especially in terms of the characters' emotions. They aren't portrayed vividly or delicately enough."
Yukino Yukinoshita set down the thick stack of manuscripts.
As for Tsukikawa Shu, he became even more fired up.
"You didn't fix a single problem I mentioned last time! I told you to read Chinese web novels, but did you even read one?"
Tsukikawa Shu flipped through the pages, then immediately lost his temper.
"Where are your opening golden three chapters? Your synopsis? Your title? You can't even write a proper opening, and you want to attract readers?"
"Where's the immersion? The resonance? The cheat ability? You're writing fantasy, but your protagonist doesn't even have a cheat ability. What are you trying to do? Learn from The Rising of the Shield Hero?"
"And the protagonist's motivations aren't explained clearly either.