You Are a Lost Lamb

"My name... well, I seem to have quite a few titles. Since you're in the Far East, you can just call me Yama."

The old man thought for a moment, and finally said a name that was obviously a bit strange.

"Enma? Is it the Great King Enma? Hmm, what a strange name..."

Sakura tilted her head curiously, then continued to ask, "Was the old man a god?"

"Well, I am not a god, but just a lonely old man living in Valley of Shadows. My name is just a title to me. If Sakura is willing, you can just call me Grandpa."

"Okay, Grandpa."

Sakura's face lit up with a bright smile.

"Um, Grandpa, are you a foreigner? Your clothes are so strange... Sakura feels like you're from another era."

"Foreigners, and time travelers... that's not a bad way to address them. I was simply summoned by this world to come here specifically to see what's wrong with this World Line and to determine whether my Death Blade is needed before things get completely out of control. I just left Fuyuki City."

The old man who called himself Yama smiled, seemingly in a good mood. "It seems that some changes are quite positive now, and it appears that I no longer need to take action personally."

"Eh? Grandpa was also from Fuyuki City? Sakura was too."

Upon hearing that the old man had also come from Fuyuki City, Sakura's eyes suddenly became excited. "Grandpa, do you know what happened in Fuyuki City? Big brother said he has something very important to do, and Fuyuki City will become very dangerous during this period, so he told me, Aoko- neechan, and Uncle Lemon Head to leave there and not come back."

"..."

Upon hearing Sakura's words, the old man slowly stood up, and his originally cloudy eyes became clearer at that moment.

"Crowley ... he's an interesting young man. Don't worry, I recently confirmed that he hasn't caused any real damage to the world. So Sakura doesn't need to worry, his Evening Bell are yet to come."

"Grandpa's words are so hard to understand, but... does it mean that Big Brother is still safe?" Sakura blinked.

"Is it safe...?"

Upon hearing this, the old man stroked his chin and pondered seriously for a moment, which was uncharacteristic of him, before giving his answer.

"Well, although I can't see his fate, the current situation doesn't seem to be out of his control, so Sakura can rest assured."

The old man patted Sakura's head, then looked into the distance and reminded her, "It seems your family has already come looking for you."

"Really?" Hearing the old man's words, Sakura turned her head in surprise and saw Aozaki Touko looking anxious, followed by Weber, who was in charge of resisting Kenneth, as they searched for her. "I'm here, Aoko- neechan!"

"Sakura!"

Upon hearing Sakura's voice, Aozaki Touko rushed over, picked her up in her arms, and then anxiously asked.

"Are you alright? Sakura, why did you come here all alone? Are you hurt?"

"Don't worry, Sakura is fine. In fact, I met a very kind old man here. With him by my side, Sakura wasn't scared at all."

"Well, goodbye Grandpa..." Sakura smiled, then turned her head to wave goodbye to the old man she had just met who claimed to be a visitor from the secluded Valley of Shadows.

"... Huh?!"

However, at this moment, the old man who called himself Enma had already disappeared without a trace, as if he had never appeared at all, leaving only a tattered robe given to Sakura as a trace that he had been here.

"Hmm, what a strange old man..."

Sakura carefully put away the fragments of the robe the old man had given her, then scratched her head.

"He vanished without a trace in the blink of an eye... just like the real Lord Enma."

Chapter 87 You are a lost lamb

—Everything in this world is designed to drive you to your doom.

Everything is coming to an end.

Hmm...

Has it already reached this final moment in the blink of an eye?

Yes, most of the Heroic Spirit have already left the stage.

Even Fuyuki City was on the verge of collapse because of the final night of revelry by these Heroic Spirit.

At this moment, the entire city is like a small boat in a raging storm, at risk of being swept away and completely destroyed at any moment.

The so-called mysterious and hidden rules, the strict principles of the mystical world that do not allow interference with the real world and the leakage of mysteries, were completely trampled underfoot during this most insane night.

Currently, the Holy Grail War's supervisor Risei Kotomine critically injured and in a coma in the hospital. The Matou Family Mage Families, a powerful magical clan, is on the verge of destruction due to the death of Matou Sōken, and even Tokiomi Tohsaka, the teacher, died at his own hands. Now, the entire Fuyuki City, along with its surrounding area, has completely fallen into a gray area, deprived of the protection of Mage Families and the church, and can only watch helplessly as it descends into war and panic.

Even though the Fuyuki City police had immediately deployed their largest personnel and police force to evacuate the public, and had also sent elite members with high-tech modern weapons to the center of the battlefield to investigate the situation and try to stop the terrifying figures from the direction of Ryūdō Temple, who seemed to be the reincarnation of gods, from ending this unprecedented catastrophe.

However, after witnessing the first group of brave and resilient police officers, who were also defiant against the odds, being wiped out by the falling Noble Phantasm and the Broken Phantasm even before they got close to the battlefield, no one dared to approach that direction again.

Because they realized that it would just be sending themselves to their deaths.

Even if they gave their lives and offered their courage, it would all be in vain. He wouldn't even be able to see what that golden wave hanging in the sky was, nor could he catch a glimpse of this mythical war. All they could do was retreat to safety, watching helplessly as the golden waves in the sky continued to churn and ravage their homes, witnessing the natural disaster spread and sweep across the area, relentlessly destroying every building in its path and reaping every life.

That night, the entire Fuyuki City trembled because of this mythical battle, which no one except the participants knew about, and once again experienced the fear that humanity in the Age of Gods had once felt when it was dominated by the gods.

Some devout believers even regard it as a punishment from God for mankind, a sign of the end of the world.

They cried out and kept bowing their heads towards the sky above Ryūdō Temple, trying to appease the anger of the gods.

However, the gods responded with the same golden wave that continued to expand until it completely dyed the night sky with the Golden Dawn.

Emiya Kiritsugu.

Without a doubt, he was a very legendary figure.

If someone were to ask Kirei Kotomine who his greatest hypothetical enemy in this Holy Grail War is, the answer would undoubtedly be the intriguing figure mentioned by the King of Heroes, the Magus Rovey Crowley, whom he has never truly faced. His summoned Servant is Scáthach, the immortal queen of the Land of Shadows. Even when summoning Caster, one of the weakest classes, as his Spirit Origin, he can utilize his Age of Age of Gods Magecraft to adjust it into Lancer, a form more suited for direct combat. Furthermore, Lancer has demonstrated unparalleled strength in the Holy Grail War, making him, without a doubt, Gilgamesh's greatest adversary.

However, compared to this hypothetical enemy whom he would have to defeat if he wanted to compete for the Holy Grail, Kirei Kotomine was still more concerned about that strange man named Emiya Kiritsugu.

In his view, this man's life was full of contradictions.

What's even more baffling is what he's pursuing. The effort he puts into everything he does is completely disproportionate to the reward, and his motives are incredibly vague. If someone who hasn't truly understood him and has a shallow mind were to evaluate him, they would likely simply see him as a mercenary driven by greed.

However, Kirei Kotomine knew very well that the man was far more complex than she had imagined.

When Tokiomi Tohsaka went to the Einzbern Family's ancestral home to seek an alliance, which was also the first time he saw Kiritsugu Emiya Kiritsugu in person, Kirei Kotomine sensed a unique aura about this man that was different from that of ordinary people, and he became curious about it.

It was not something superficial, like the magic flowing from Magus's body, but something much deeper, a unique aura hidden within his soul.

This feeling is similar to what I feel inside, but it is also different.

However, it was precisely because of this that Kirei Kotomine developed a strong interest in this strange man who was so similar to himself.

So when the Assassin was wiped out because of Tokiomi Tohsaka's command error, Kirei Kotomine went to investigate all the information about Emiya Kiritsugu.

And the investigation results were indeed as expected. This man named Emiya Kiritsugu, like himself, led a life full of contradictions. He was definitely not the kind of despicable mercenary who would stop at nothing to make money, as the rumors suggested.

Kirei Kotomine swears that Emiya Kiritsugu, this strange man, is not acting solely for money. If he truly wanted to amass wealth, there would be countless easier and safer ways than marrying into the Einzbern Family and participating in the Holy Grail War for them, or winning the Holy Grail and making the shallow wish to obtain money.

Just as mystery attracts mystery and strangeness begets strangeness, people who are similar to each other are more likely to be attracted to one another.

As his investigation deepened, Kirei Kotomine became increasingly curious about the man named Emiya Kiritsugu.

He wanted to know what kind of feelings this contradictory man, who had experienced so many tragedies and should have given up on the world, was going through as he continued to move forward. What was his true wish? What was his purpose, his ideal?

Kirei Kotomine was eager to know the answer.

Having already taken a significant step down the path of pursuing evil and about to truly advance, his heart, which should have been dormant, began to beat again after experiencing a life-or-death moment. However, the reason was different from the pleasure he felt when pursuing evil; this time, he experienced a more complex, yet entirely different, emotion.

Many years ago, his father Risei Kotomine, had told him about this situation, which he called "redemption."

Ah...

Redemption?

What unfamiliar and luxurious words these are!

For Kirei Kotomine, it was a feeling he had been seeking for over twenty years but had never been able to experience or obtain.

Just when he was about to give up seeking salvation from God and goodness from the world, and was about to turn to evil in an attempt to fill the emptiness in his heart with pleasure, a miracle he had never seen before appeared in his heart, which made him feel extremely complicated.

'Redemption... redemption... what is redemption?'

The thing I had been desperately searching for but could never obtain has now appeared before my eyes; it's as if fate is playing tricks on me.

If it had been a while earlier, Kirei Kotomine would have been delighted and reveled in the experience, but not now.

It was too late. He had already embarked on a path of evil, personally killing Tokiomi Tohsaka. He was no longer worthy of redemption...

Should I really follow that king's guidance and continue down this path of depravity? Ignore this fleeting glimmer of light and continue seeking malice?

'No, no, there must be other options!'

Perhaps it was because I suddenly thought of the stories in the Bible, specifically the Gospel of Matthew and Genesis, about how the Lord forgives your sins.

In this final moment, Kirei Kotomine still chose to make one last attempt, trying his best to grasp that fleeting redemption and pursue the answer in his heart.

Even though he was still confused and lost, his intuition told him to keep going. He just needed to find Emiya Kiritsugu and ask him in person what he was pursuing.

At that time, I will get the answer myself.

"Let's keep going..."

Kirei Kotomine looked down at his body, which had just been resurrected, stared at his hands, and couldn't help but sigh.

Human desires are beautiful.

It is baseless and even contradicts the facts at hand, yet it is filled with all sorts of beauty, and humans will instinctively pursue beauty.

Even someone like Kirei Kotomine, who yearns to explore malice, once pursued that fleeting beauty, only to find nothing in the end. This inevitably led him into confusion, causing him to begin exploring things he had never encountered before, namely the twisted side—evil.

Originally, his pursuit was merely a yearning and curiosity, but under the malicious influence of the King of Heroes, he mistook curiosity for his own inner desire. Even though Kirei Kotomine knew that doing so was wrong for the Executor, he still did it in order to understand his true nature.

Human nature rarely exhibits truly pure evil or pure good; rather, it is inherently driven by a pursuit of beauty and a yearning for something better.

As someone with sound educational values, Kirei Kotomine only realized this simple truth after experiencing death, realizing that he seemed to have gone astray...

What the King of Heroes said to himself was not necessarily true.

Pleasure... Redemption...

He reaffirmed his own desires, realized what salvation meant, and sought his own salvation once again.

Compared to Emiya Kiritsugu's absurd desire to save all of humanity, Kirei Kotomine at this moment was only seeking redemption for his own life.

A great alchemist once said, "The essence of Alchemy is equivalent exchange."

However, this principle is only reflected in Alchemy Magecraft.

Some wishes are so grand and absurd that no matter how much you sacrifice, you will not gain the satisfaction of fulfilling them, but only the pain of failure.

After all, the rules of this world are established by the world itself and the people within it, and the important rules within it are not limited to equivalent exchange alone, not to mention...

"Is this the choice you made? The Lesser Grail, no, it should be Einzbern..."

Looking at the pure white saint Irisviel lying on the altar, about to lose her life and transform into Lesser Grail, Kirei Kotomine's face showed a complex expression.

'In the end, did Emiya Kiritsugu really make this choice?'

After killing his biological father and adoptive mother with his own hands, he is now going to sacrifice his wife for his own desires...

What desire sustained him, allowing him to make such a choice after losing so many precious things? What was the landscape in that man's heart?

Not long ago, Kirei Kotomine might have quietly watched this spectacle of sacrificing his wife to fulfill his own desires, but now he is even more eager to know the answer.

"To sacrifice for someone else's ideals... to give up your own life for it, what is it that you are pursuing? What is it that Emiya Kiritsugu is pursuing? What kind of goal could make that man drag his broken body to this point? What kind of wish could make you willingly give up your hard-won life for him? Please answer my questions, Einzbern." Gazing at the pure white saintess before him, Kirei Kotomine urgently asked the questions that had been troubling his heart.

"... Kiritsugu's life has been so tiring. He was born to be a savior, and he has always been steadfast in his goal: to save this tragic world and bring salvation to humanity."

"That man's wish... was actually to lead humanity back to Eden?"

Upon hearing Irisviel's answer, Kirei Kotomine looked somewhat taken aback.

But for a moment, he was not surprised at all by this unexpected yet reasonable answer.

Kirei Kotomine disagrees with Irisviel's statement that Emiya Kiritsugu wants to save all humanity and eradicate all evil and tragedy.

Because he knew that this wish was not a wish at all, but a delusion, merely the ravings of a madman, a delusion that could never be realized.