Nine Babies in One Birth, Penniless~

An explanation?

How was he supposed to explain this?

Yamanaka Kei couldn't exactly tell Tsunade-sama that he'd just been spouting nonsense, planning to take the opportunity to knock her down in one move.

After all, given the circumstances at the time, the only reason he could think of for Tsunade-sama coming to find him and attacking him...

Was probably the rumors about him and Kushina in the village.

The key was that he couldn't explain those rumors either, and Tsunade-sama didn't look like she wanted to hear any explanations.

If he didn't take her down first, was he supposed to wait for her to tear his house apart?

Later, when Yamanaka Kei heard Kushina say that Tsunade-sama had come knocking because she couldn't borrow money from her...

After giving it some thought, he finally understood.

Did Tsunade-sama really lack money?

As the strongest Medical Ninja in the ninja world and one of the Konoha Sannin.

As long as word got out that she was short on cash, forget borrowing money—plenty of people would gladly give her money for free.

It was just that Tsunade-sama at this stage hadn't completely given up on herself like she had in the original story.

Only when facing family did she completely stop caring about her image.

So, when she saw Kushina listening to a man and seriously analyzing which money could be lent and which couldn't, while once again urging her to stop gambling, she'd decided to come take a look.

This woman... had come to inspect her future brother-in-law!

Yamanaka Kei could barely keep his expression together. At least at that moment, he genuinely wanted to cover his face and run.

What a blunder!

At the time, all he'd thought about was stopping that violent woman from wrecking his house.

If he'd known, he should've been more patient and exchanged a few more moves with her.

Maybe once she'd tested him enough, they could've all happily sat down for a meal together?

"Hey, Tsunade-sama~ I heard Jiraiya and Orochimaru are back too. Why don't we call them over tonight and hang out together?"

Seeing her boyfriend's awkward expression, Kushina hurriedly stepped forward and linked arms with Tsunade-sama, smiling as she changed the subject.

"Tch~ What's so fun about those two? This brat's Genjutsu is much more interesting."

Tsunade-sama curled her lips in displeasure and allowed Kushina to pull her over to the sofa.

She could see it clearly now.

Kushina's heart was completely set on this brat. She couldn't stand to see him suffer even the slightest grievance.

Heh~ Women in love... were beyond saving.

"Then after dinner tonight, I'll keep it going for you, Tsunade-sama?"

Yamanaka Kei ventured.

Tsunade-sama gave him a look that said, At least you know what's good for you. Then she patted her flat stomach and shot Kushina a look that said, You handle this yourself.

She'd overslept and missed breakfast that morning, then spent the afternoon slaughtering everything in the Genjutsu world.

It was already getting dark. If she didn't eat soon, she was afraid her chest would shrink from hunger.

"I'll do it, I'll do it!"

Yamanaka Kei sprang off the sofa and hurried toward the kitchen.

This was Kushina's family coming to visit, more or less.

It had been one thing to knock her out with Genjutsu when he didn't understand what was going on. But now that he did, if he didn't even give her a meal, that would be going too far.

Besides, if Kushina went to cook, he'd have to stay here and make awkward small talk with Tsunade-sama.

That...

He was afraid he'd wear out his toes.

"Tsunade-sama, do you remember the announcement the village put out a while ago?"

Kushina watched her boyfriend flee in embarrassment with amusement, then turned and took the initiative to start a conversation with Tsunade-sama.

"An announcement? Who cares about that stuff?"

"The one about the Uzumaki Clan~"

"Oh~ And?"

"This time, Kei and the little tomboy—oh, I mean Namikaze Minato—went out on a mission together and brought back an Uzumaki Clan girl named Uzumaki Honoka. I heard she's dating Namikaze Minato..."

"No, why does everyone in your Uzumaki Clan like blondes?"

"Huh?"

"What do you mean, 'huh'? Do you only look at faces when you pick a boyfriend? I remember..."

The older and younger women lowered their voices as they chatted in the living room.

Yamanaka Kei vaguely heard their conversation from the living room and nearly rolled his eyes into the sky.

What did she mean, everyone liked blondes?

His hair was gold! Gold!

And besides... why were they turning on their own kind?

Elder Sister, weren't our hair colors the same?

"Fine, I'll let it slide since you said I'm handsome."

Yamanaka Kei grumbled inwardly, deciding to spare his future sister-in-law for now.

As he opened the refrigerator and picked out vegetables and meat for dinner, he turned his attention to the System interface.

He still hadn't used the three Word Entry draws he'd received earlier.

"System, draw them already!"

Congratulations, Host, you have obtained the Blue Entry 'Nine Babies in One Birth,' the Gray Entry 'Penniless,' and the White Word Entry 'Expired Milk.'

Nine Babies in One Birth (Blue): An innate Sage Body for pregnancy. Increased chance of pregnancy; slightly increased chances of twins, triplets, quadruplets... up to nonuplets. Postpartum recovery speed and chances of subsequent pregnancy increased.

Penniless (Gray): A pitiful young man shrouded in misfortune. No matter how hard he tries to change things, his vital part will gradually shrink to under five centimeters. Greatly increased chance of being disliked by female partners; increased chances of breaking up, divorce, and inferiority complexes.

Expired Milk (White): When using Medical Ninjutsu, subtle and immeasurable changes occur in the nature of the technique. Medical Ninjutsu control and healing effectiveness slightly increased; those treated have a chance of experiencing brief, mild side effects.

One blue, one gray, and one white...

Yamanaka Kei pursed his lips and subconsciously glanced at Kushina and Tsunade-sama, who were whispering in the living room.

He'd only just started dating Kushina today. Wasn't it a little early to be thinking about having children?

And one or two would be manageable.

Diaper changes, feeding, putting them to sleep... the two of them should be able to handle that much.

But nine babies in one birth—was that really not some vicious curse?

Giving birth was already difficult enough for women. Nine at once, even with a C-section, could be fatal!

Even if they were born safely.

Nine babies crying to be fed... fuck me...

Yamanaka Kei shuddered hard. He didn't dare think about it. This Word Entry was so vicious that it was no less terrifying than a Black Word Entry!

And then there was Penniless.

At first glance, Yamanaka Kei had thought it reduced wealth luck.

But the result...

It was even more vicious than Nine Babies in One Birth!

It even specifically stated that "even if he tried his hardest to change it, it would eventually shrink." Did that mean not even Orochimaru's Software Modification could save him?

Yamanaka Kei looked down at his crotch and silently thanked his lucky stars that he was exceptionally well-endowed in this life. Otherwise, it would've been too terrifying.

As for the final Expired Milk.

For a Medical Ninja, it was probably, perhaps, maybe not all that friendly?

Although it improved Medical Ninjutsu control and healing effectiveness, those brief, mild side effects were a little too...

"Did I forget to wash my hands? Or have I done too many immoral things lately?"

Yamanaka Kei silently looked at the hands washing vegetables and decisively dismissed the thought that had just surfaced.

This definitely wasn't his problem.

Absolutely not!

How could someone like him, who loved the village (sneaking attacks on the Root leader), cared for his companions (introducing a partner to Minato), helped others (helping the Nine-Tails bloom into a smile), and looked after his students (dragging the Three Little Ones in as free labor), possibly have a problem?

If there was a problem, it was the System's problem.

This damn System might've been crooked from the very root!

Since obtaining the System, he'd drawn plenty of Word Entries. How many of them had been remotely normal?!

Yes, that was right.

It was all the System's fault!

System: Won't anyone speak up for me?