Odin's Son (Part Two)

"I have always believed that a person's upbringing plays the most important role in the formation of their personality. In other words, if you put another person in your situation, they may not do better than you."

"Thor may be naturally magnanimous, but only to a limited extent. People may think he is more generous than you, simply because he has received more during his upbringing. The attention, affection, and status that you often struggle with are things he can obtain without even thinking about them. So of course he will be very generous, because he is a beneficiary."

"And the reason you doubt why you always think so much, why you always have these negative emotions, is simply because you get less, or rather, less compared to Thor."

"Now, let's look at it from another angle. Suppose you are Odin's only son, meaning Odin only has you as his son, and Thor never existed from beginning to end, but Odin still treats you the same way, just like you received before..."

Loki fell into thought again, when Schiller's words echoed in his ears, "Without Thor as a point of reference, do you still feel you've gained very little?"

"Or rather, you should tell me what you've gained as a Prince of Asgard. After all, I'm just an ordinary person and can't imagine your royal life."

"I..." Loki paused for a moment and said, "I have many privileges in Asgard. For example, I live in the most magnificent building in all of Asgard, I have many Asgard Palace guards at my beck and call, I have my own carriage when I travel, the Bifrost is always ready for me, we have our own royal robes, and we have Helmet that symbolize the honor of the Asgardian ..."

"Apart from the God King and Queen of the Gods, and Thor, everyone bows to me, no matter how high their divine rank. I have my own guard, dedicated sword instructors, etiquette officers, and coachmen. I own more than 30 streets of property, as well as fiefdoms in two independent dimensions..."

"Alright, stop talking." Schiller put the cup back on the table, this time his voice was louder. Loki was startled and looked at him. Schiller said, "I will definitely send your brother a bill that will surprise him."

"Alright, I know you're thinking Thor has more, but I have to tell you, both of you live Thor privileged lives, not just for ordinary people on Earth, but for ordinary Asgardian as well."

"Without Thor for comparison, I think you would be more accepting. With Thor, you seem less fortunate."

"When people feel dissatisfied with their lives, it's often because they feel they're not close enough to their goals. So what exactly are your goals?"

"This question may be a bit broad, but I can give you a detailed example. Do you feel that this kind of life is not good enough and want more land and property, want to have endless wealth and status, or is it just that you have not obtained as much Thor, and you just want to have more than him?"

Before Loki could answer, Schiller said, "Logically speaking, everyone should be pursuing the former, after all, who in this world doesn't love money?"

"But judging from your current state, you seem to be the latter, because when Thor fell on hard times, and you became stronger than him, you suddenly became satisfied with life."

How do you know I'm satisfied with my life?

Schiller spread his hands and said, "Simply put, people need motivation to do certain things. The inner motivation is very complex. It can be due to specific things, such as the pursuit of enjoyment or revenge, or it can be due to abstract things, such as the realization of self-worth."

"When you stop doing something, or when you have the opportunity to do it but give up, and just want to slack off, it proves that your motivation is no longer so strong."

"This is mostly because the goal has already been achieved. For example, they have more money than they can spend, their revenge has been successful, or they have realized their life's value through some method."

"Haven't you noticed that you're slacking off right now?" Schiller looked at Loki and said, "Don't tell me you're just born to serve those difficult clients and explore the limits of human understanding and communication."

Loki opened his mouth, took a breath, and found himself unable to refute it. He covered his forehead and began to reflect.

What is he doing right now? Why doesn't he engage in some intrigues or schemes that could shake the Nine Realms, instead of working a regular 9-to-9 job here?

"Although I don't want to jump to conclusions, based on my understanding of you, normally you should already be plotting a bigger conspiracy, like finding something to kill your brother or something..."

"But you didn't do that, probably because of the change in your life. Suddenly, you surpassed Thor, not only in terms of quality of life, but also in the area he valued most, namely honor, and you had plenty of time to laugh at him."

"Although you haven't admitted it yourself, you must be quite satisfied with this kind of life, which is why you linger here, not doing anything productive, just killing time."

Loki clenched his fingers together and said, "Am I already very satisfied? I feel like..."

"What? Feeling a bit pathetic? Feeling your goals and ideals aren't ambitious enough? Then what do you want to do? First, take down Thor, then Odin, and then unify the Nine Realms?"

"That is indeed a good goal, and you are certainly capable of achieving it, but if you really wanted to make this your goal, you wouldn't be sitting here right now, would you?"

"The moment you learn that you are not Odin's biological son, it's a major turning point in your life. You have two choices: either cross the Bifrost back to Asgard and pretend you know nothing, or..."

As Schiller looked at Loki looked at him too, and Loki continued Schiller's words, "Either... go find Thor."

"You want to see him, right?"

"That's strange," Schiller said, gesturing with his pen. "Generally speaking, people tend to call for their mothers when they feel pain."

Loki turned his head away, ignoring the sarcasm in Schiller's tone. Schiller continued, "The first half is over. Let's review it."

"The conclusion drawn from the idea of switching identities is that all the emotions you are experiencing now are normal, and anyone else would feel the same way. Furthermore, we find that Thor appears more magnanimous, not because he is better than you, but simply because of the different environments in which he grew up."

"Then we discussed how the change in circumstances weakened our inner drive, which led us to conclude that your goal was simply to be better than Thor's."

"I think you have gained some new insights into your relationship with Thor. Now, let's move on to another question you're more interested in: your relationship with Odin."

Loki's expression remained complex when Odin's name was mentioned; he himself was unaware of the changes in his facial muscles.

"Perhaps you're expecting me to give you a long theoretical analysis, but in reality, that's very difficult," Schiller sighed. "Because you haven't provided enough numerical data and there are too many variables, I can't provide you with psychological counseling based on these uncertain factors, which could lead to very large biases."

"What uncertain... value?"

"For example, what exactly is your relationship with Odin? Are you really his biological son? If you're not, then why did you become his son? What was his purpose in raising you? And so on..."

"Your relationship with Odin is more complicated. In this case, some logic doesn't hold true, and there are many possible options at the end. If you insist on exploring to the deepest point, you will only make yourself more confused."

"So regarding this part, I can only give you two suggestions. First, find out exactly what happened. Second,..."

Schiller drew out the word, and Loki looked at him, but received no answer for a long time. He asked, "What is it?"

Schiller shifted his position, resting his forearm on the table, raising his shoulder to look at Loki, and asked, "Have you ever gotten into trouble since you were a kid?"

"Of course not," Loki said with absolute certainty. "I am not Thor. I have completed every task given to me by the All-Father perfectly."

"Since you haven't caused any trouble, how do you know Odin won't clean up your mess?"

Loki pursed his lips, his tone somewhat incredulous, and said, "You're not suggesting I... go and cause some trouble, are you?"

"Although I'm not entirely sure what kind of person Odin really is, from some of the stories Strange brought back, I've heard that Odin was also very impulsive when he was young, much like Thor."

"Generally speaking, parents are more tolerant of children who are similar to themselves because they have been through that stage themselves and know that some mistakes are unavoidable for people with certain personalities."

"Your main insecurity right now comes from the fact that you already felt Odin wouldn't tolerate your mistakes, and now that you've discovered you're not his biological child, you feel he's even less tolerant of you."

"But I think you can give it a try. If you don't try, he'll never know where the bottom line is. Try it out, and you might get a pleasant surprise."

Loki struggled to describe his feelings. He said, "Are you encouraging me... to get into trouble?"

"I didn't say that. I was just conducting a normal psychological counseling session." Schiller continued to fidget with his pen, his head still down. "When people have achieved their goals and are in a state of complacency and idleness, they will instinctively start looking for some fun. You are no exception."

When Loki returned to the apartment, it wasn't dark yet, so Thor hadn't gone to work. He was holding a takeout order, opening the package, and taking the fried chicken out.

Thor still had long hair, but his beard was trimmed shorter. He was wearing a cheap hoodie from who-knows-where, and his hands were covered in oil. Seeing this, Loki swallowed back all the words he had in his mouth. He felt that sometimes, not getting to the bottom of things might be a good thing.

"Actually, I've never really understood why you would consider someone like that as an opponent," Venom said in Loki's mind. "How about we go downstairs and play on the seesaw... Oh, we're alone, so we can't play on the seesaw. That's a shame."

"... This is the relationship between you and your brother."

Loki ignored him and sat down on the sofa opposite Thor, fiddling with the takeout box in front of Thor. Thor was a little surprised by his actions, looked up at him, and asked, "Didn't you complain that fried chicken was greasy?"

Then he opened the lid facing Loki, pressed it down to reveal the fried chicken inside, and pushed the box to the center of the coffee table, saying, "I only have enough money for a small portion, but if you want some too, I can share a few with you."

Loki pulled his hands back, rested them on his knees, and propped his chin up with his hand. He saw that there were only about five or six pieces of fried chicken in the box, which was far too little even for a small portion.

Thor shrugged and said, "The food here is really good, but it's a bit pricey and the portions are small. But that's okay, we still have this..."

He pulled a plastic bag containing canned beer from under the coffee table, and when he picked it up, he found that there was only one can of beer left inside. He said, "Well, better than nothing."

He took out the can of beer, opened the can, and put it on the table. He saw Loki sitting there without moving. Thor, puzzled, said, "What are you standing there for? Go get a glass."

Then he paused and said, "Okay, I won't laugh at you for drinking from a glass, but only this once."

"Do you need me to tell you? Actually, you really want to..."

Venom's voice rang out, but Loki interrupted him, saying, "Yes, I really want to punch him."

"Well, it seems it's not just humans, the gods are like this too..."

As the sound of Venom faded, the frothy sound of beer being poured into a glass filled the air. At that moment, the sky outside the window darkened, a gentle breeze stirred the curtains, and the temperature dropped, making the autumn evening wind even colder. But the chirping of insects disappeared, and everything seemed even more tranquil.