Odin's Son (Part 1)

The bright midday sun had gradually dimmed and was no longer so dazzling. Only a small gap remained in the curtains of the sanatorium office, through which light shone onto the desk.

After the temperature started to drop, the air conditioning was turned on in the office, and the heating was quite strong. However, Loki experienced a feeling that he had never experienced before, a feeling unique to ordinary humans—cold.

His lips drooped downwards, and he didn't even open his mouth, only managing to squeeze out a few words through his teeth. "... Don't say anything."

"People tend to overestimate their psychological resilience, thinking they can remain calm when faced with a certain answer, but in reality, it's very difficult."

Loki stared at him without speaking. Asgardian always had a classical beauty in their appearance. Loki's eyebrows were deep-set and sharp, like a knife. When the shadows cast completely covered his eyes, he looked both cold and profound.

"I have many angles from which I can analyze this problem, tell you where this mindset of yours comes from, and how to solve it..."

Schiller then changed the subject. "... but there's a fee."

Loki's expression was icy. He stood up, but felt a resistance within his body. Venom spoke in his mind, "I advise you to reconsider. This may be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity."

"Don't try to influence me, monster."

"If you're going to take your anger out on me..." Venom's voice carried an unexpected calmness from Loki: "Then I'll tell you that even if you leave here now, you'll have nowhere to go, orphan."

"Are you planning to approach Thor with this mindset? To ask him those stupid questions you already know the answers to, or are you really going to act like a groveling dog and directly ask him if he loves you or not?"

"... I said, that's enough!"

"Calm down." Schiller's words brought Loki back to reality. He said, "I charge a lot, but it's more effective than you think."

"More importantly, I don't think you're able to pay the bill right now, so I'll put it on your brother's tab, since he's the heir to Asgard."

"...Then let's begin." Loki sat back down.

"Let's look at this from a different angle." Schiller to put something aside and said, "You should know in your heart that you are jealous of Thor, but we can analyze this emotion in detail."

"Now, imagine yourself as Thor, what would you do?"

"What will happen?" Loki asked. "... What else can happen?"

"Don't rush, let me finish. Let's say you are Odin's eldest son, the heir to Asgard, and you've been under Odin's watchful eye since childhood. No matter what trouble you cause, he won't blame you too much..."

"He..." Loki tried his best to calm himself down and then enter this hypothetical scenario.

"You can imagine yourself in Thor's shoes, being the center of attention from a young age, with Odin valuing you, Frigga loving you, and your peers respecting you..."

As Schiller spoke, Loki began to drift into his imagination.

As the bonfire blazed, the shouts in the dueling arena grew deafening. He stood in the front row, then leaped from his seat to the center of the arena, accepting the cheers and shouts of everyone. The audience looked at him with hopeful eyes, believing he would surely win.

Then, he crossed the long bridge to the Asgard Palace and entered the Asgard Palace gates with joy and excitement. He stood straight, bathed in light, and Odin praised him highly. Frigga smiled with satisfaction.

He galloped across the battlefields of the Nine Realms, none able to withstand a single blow from him. He swept across the battlefields, effortlessly claiming the glory of victory, which he then brought back to the All-Father, earning the admiration of the Asgardian.

"So where is Thor now?"

Schiller's words did not interrupt Loki's fantasy, but merely shifted his perspective. He saw Thor standing behind the cheering crowd, watching him. As Loki walked back to the camp, Thor watched him from afar. After their identities and perspectives were completely reversed, Loki suddenly had a strange feeling.

"Okay, now let's bring up what you did to Thor. He played a lot of pranks on you, and then it started getting worse and worse. Later, it wasn't just pranks anymore; he started to really frame you..."

"No..." Loki's brows furrowed deeply, "I didn't..."

"Don't deny any of this. Instead, think further and see how you would view it from Thor's perspective."

In an instant, the dream of glory shattered. Loki's arms began to tremble, his teeth clenched together, and then a few words emerged. "I didn't see it."

"Didn't you see anything?"

Suddenly, his shoulders relaxed, and his jaw began to tremble slightly before he slowly calmed down. "I didn't see any of those things."

"Really? Would you like to watch it again?"

"No," Loki immediately refused.

"Are you sure you didn't see it?"

Loki remained silent.

He remained silent for a long time, until he was completely detached from that emotion, before he said, "Perhaps... I saw it."

He paused for a long time, his voice filled with a slightly hysterical breath, then trembled as he said, "But... I didn't care."

"He knew, but didn't care, right?" Loki looked up at Schiller, Schiller was fiddling with his pen. "Actually, you should have realized that although your brother is reckless, impulsive, and stubborn, he's not really a fool. His intelligence is perfectly normal; in fact, you could say he's quite talented in some areas..."

"You've spent so many years together, and for a long time you were inseparable. You think you know him very well, but he knows you just as well. Perhaps he's seen many of the things you've done, but he just doesn't care..."

"You wanted to avoid the answer just now because you felt that his indifference made you feel worse than being confronted directly or complaining to Odin."

"So now, ask yourself, did you really want to hurt Thor, kill him, or take his place, or were you just trying to get more attention?"

"I..." Loki instinctively wanted to deny the answer, "Don't be ridiculous, why would I want to get his attention? He has no brains at all, he's just a brute from beginning to end..."

"Really? Then when I asked you, as Thor, how you view Loki, why were you unwilling to give that answer?"

Loki fell silent again, but he no longer trembled; he simply remained there in the same posture.

"He probably doesn't care." Loki's voice became more breathy, and he incorporated the sentence into a sigh. He gave a self-deprecating smile and said, "At least when we were kids, my pranks weren't very clever. I was just playing pranks on him."

"I remember that several times Thor's companions realized that I was the one who did it, which made them hate me even more, but Thor didn't say anything."

"I know he wasn't oblivious..." Loki's tone became somewhat doubtful, "But why did I believe so readily that he just didn't see it?"

"Perhaps it's because you can't accept that he can see through it, but he just doesn't care," Schiller said.

Loki remained silent.

"Alright, now let's add an extra condition to this situation. You are still you, that is, you have your current appearance, physique, strength, and abilities, but you are still Odin's favorite eldest son, the heir to Asgard ..."

Before Schiller could finish speaking, Loki interrupted, "No, that's impossible, I..."

"Asgard will not have such an heir; my physical strength is too weak..."

"I am not Odin, and this is not a coronation ceremony, so my words do not count."

"It's just a hypothesis, and since it's a hypothesis anyway, why bother with logic?"

Loki was speechless and could only nod.

"Alright, just like you said, you have many flaws, some of which are even fatal. For example, you don't have the physique that Asgardian are so proud of. Odin can see these flaws, and so can the people of Asgard. But you still became the heir of Asgard, Odin takes good care of you. No matter what trouble you cause, he is willing to clean it up for you..."

"So, in this situation, how would Thor view you?"

"He..." Loki seemed to have a complete sentence he wanted to say, but he choked on the first word.

"Don't doubt what you're thinking now. Thor is definitely jealous of you too, however much or little. That feeling is definitely there."

Schiller then made another gesture and said, "You probably often think that Thor has so many flaws, that he does things without thinking, that he just charges ahead without considering the consequences, and that he's an incomprehensible idiot."

"But if the roles were reversed, Thor would probably think, 'You're so weak, you can't even lift the Divine Artifact, you can't charge ahead in battle, you can't set an example as a general, you don't have the heroic qualities of Asgardian ...'"

"You see, that's how the world is. When you can't be the other person, can't be in their position, and can't do their things, you'll always feel that the other person is unworthy of their position."

"His shortcomings will be magnified infinitely in your eyes, and then you will use these shortcomings to fantasize that if you were in that position, you would do better than him."

"But when you actually get to that position, your weaknesses will be magnified, and whether your strengths that you are so proud of can handle the troubles caused by your weaknesses remains to be seen."

"So what?" Loki looked at Schiller and said, "Are you saying that even if I were in Thor's position, I wouldn't do a better job than him?"

Schiller shook his head and said, "No, I'm just telling you that it's perfectly normal to feel jealous of your brother, resent your father for being unfair, and think that the Asgardian are blind."

"If you and Thor were to switch places, these emotions would still exist. Thor may not be as sensitive as you are, but he could never be completely immune to them."

"If you don't believe me, think about him now. In a sense, the positions of the two of you have been reversed. Do you think Thor is really not jealous at all about your sudden promotion? Do you think he is so magnanimous that he doesn't care at all that Odin gave you the glory that rightfully belonged to him?"

"Since he also feels jealousy and resentment, then there is actually no difference between the two of you. It's not because you are narrow-minded or mentally unstable that you have these negative emotions; it's just human nature."

"I make this assumption..." Schiller paused, picked up his water glass, took a sip, and continued, "... just to tell you that the tangled mess of emotions you're feeling right now, including jealousy, resentment, shock, confusion, bewilderment, and disorientation, is actually quite common."

"So you don't need to draw such self-destructive conclusions, like Thor and Odin are both virtuous and righteous people, while you are a dark and despicable villain who can only hide in a corner to release negative emotions, or have some more extreme thoughts, wanting to bring this pain to others..."

Schiller put down his water glass, looked into Loki's eyes, and said, "I just said you're like a dog chasing after minced meat, but the conclusion is that if you put a collar on Thor, he'd probably chase after it even more enthusiastically than you."