Genshin Impact, But It's a Chat Group Chapter 2

"It has nothing to do with Ningguang. This year, the Vago Monarch will definitely grant the request you made last year!"

"Young friend Li Yue, are you so certain?"

Li Yue's utterly confident declaration piqued Zhongli's curiosity. He really wanted to know why Li Yue was so sure—this year, he was planning something big. Although, judging by the final outcome, it did fulfill Keqing's vision of human governance for Liyue, that had nothing to do with Keqing herself.

"That's right, I'm that certain!"

Li Yue made an OK sign with one hand and pointed to the sky with the other.

"No one understands the Vago Monarch better than me!"

That line again.

Zhongli couldn't help but lean his head back.

"I can even guess what the Vago Monarch will do at the Rite of Descension!"

"Go on, tell me!"

Keqing looked at Li Yue with delight.

"The Vago Monarch is a god who loves talent. So when he thinks you're someone worth molding, he'll nurture you and give you room to make mistakes. But the human governance you want is basically impossible to implement while the Vago Monarch is still around, because the people of Liyue instinctively trust him in their hearts. So the only way to bring Liyue into human governance is for the Vago Monarch to fall!"

Zhongli's pupils quaked!

"The Vago Monarch's fall? That's impossible!"

Keqing strongly disagreed with the idea of the Vago Monarch's fall. As a twisted devotee of the Vago Monarch, even though she wanted human governance, she also deeply revered him. If she ever learned he had truly fallen, she would be utterly unwilling to accept it.

"Of course it's impossible. The Vago Monarch is the strongest martial god on the Teyvat continent, the mightiest among the Seven Nations' gods. For him to fall, even if all the other gods ganged up on him, it wouldn't work!"

"Then why did you say he'd fall?"

"Right, the Vago Monarch won't fall, but the Vago Monarch can fall!"

Li Yue tapped the table and looked at Zhongli.

"Zhongli, you should understand what I mean."

"I don't understand."

"No! You do! It's just the three of us, no need to hold back. With your brains, you get my meaning!"

"Fine."

Zhongli nodded stiffly.

"Young friend Li Yue means the Vago Monarch would fake his death."

"Fake his death?"

Keqing was stunned.

"Exactly. The Vago Monarch has protected Liyue for thousands of years. He'll try any decision that's good for Liyue—that's why Liyue has thrived all this time. The human governance you mentioned is also a viable path, so the Vago Monarch will definitely try it. Like I said, to bring Liyue into human governance, the Vago Monarch's influence must be eliminated, and his fall is the only way. So, just as Zhongli said, the Vago Monarch will choose to fake his death!"

Right in front of Zhongli, Li Yue spoke with ease.

"And the best way to spread the news of the Vago Monarch's death is to have him die publicly at the Rite of Descension—for example, falling straight from the sky, his corpse crashing down in front of everyone. No method could be more shocking or direct than that!"

"That way, everyone, even the whole of Teyvat, will know the Vago Monarch has fallen. Liyue will have no choice but to enter an era of human governance, and the Vago Monarch's influence will wane. Then you, Keqing, as the first of the Qixing to propose human governance, can spread your wings and put all your ambitions into action!"

"Meanwhile, the Vago Monarch will hide behind the scenes, continuing to protect Liyue in secret. Because he knows better than anyone that on Teyvat, a nation without a god can hardly survive. Gods are each nation's strongest combat power—even the weakest god is beyond human opposition. Though the Seven Nations aren't openly at war right now, having no sword in hand and having a sword but not using it are two completely different things!"

After finishing, Li Yue looked at Zhongli again.

"Zhongli, you should understand what I mean."

The same words came again. Zhongli felt his scalp crawl, but he still nodded stiffly.

"Young friend Li Yue's words are quite possible."

Though some details differed from his retirement plan, the main content was almost identical. Could this young man have discovered his true identity? No, no, that shouldn't be. He thought he'd hidden it well, and he'd tested Li Yue—he was just an ordinary person with no power, his physical fitness even worse than a dockworker in Liyue Harbor. There was no way he could know his true identity, let alone be so familiar with his plan.

That left only one possibility: Li Yue truly understood the Vago Monarch as well as he claimed, and had thus guessed what the Vago Monarch would do!

Zhongli's gaze toward Li Yue grew complicated for a moment.

"I... I don't believe it!"

It was one thing for Li Yue to say this, but even Zhongli, known for his vast knowledge, agreed with him—this struck Keqing like a heavy blow.

"Huh?"

Li Yue let out a sound.

"Keqing, haven't you always wanted human governance? The Vago Monarch is willing to fake his death just to give you a chance to experiment. Why are you reluctant now?"

"It's not that I'm reluctant. Of course I hope Liyue can try human governance. I just don't believe in the possibility you're talking about. The Vago Monarch faking his death—that's too absurd. Even if he wanted to give me a chance, he wouldn't have to go that far."

Keqing shook her head, her purple twin-tails swaying back and forth.

"I'm happy that you say the Vago Monarch appreciates and recognizes me, but I don't believe he would do this."

"But the Vago Monarch has no other choice!"

Li Yue emphasized.

"Liyue has been protected by the Archon for thousands of years. Over that time, his influence has become too deeply rooted. As long as he remains in power, Liyue can never break free from his shadow, let alone achieve human governance. Only by lowering his presence and influence, and relinquishing his authority, can Liyue enter an era of rule by its people."

"I just want human governance. The Archon doesn't need to make such a huge sacrifice for me."

And there it was—a twisted Archon fan, not wanting him around yet unable to let him go.

"Don't worry too much about it. To the Archon, you're a rare talent. If you really think his sacrifice is too great, then start thinking now about how to live up to his trust—realize the human governance you envision and do it well!"

Li Yue finished speaking and turned back to Zhongli.

"Zhongli, you should understand what I mean."

Zhongli nodded helplessly. He had a feeling Li Yue was hinting at something.

"Speaking from general rationality, focusing on doing one's own work well is indeed more important."

"I understand."

Keqing stood up.

"Even though I still don't believe the Archon would do this, just as you said, Li Yue, I should focus on my own work. I haven't done well enough yet—I need to try harder!"

"Mr. Zhongli, Li Yue, I'll take my leave now. I'm working overtime tonight!"

With that, Keqing turned and walked away.

Watching her leave, Li Yue picked up his teacup and took a sip.

"As expected of Keqing—always so decisive and swift."

"The Yuheng Star approaches her work with great seriousness and responsibility. That is Liyue's fortune."

Zhongli offered his own assessment. He was quite satisfied with Keqing, this diligent and conscientious Qixing member.

"Isn't it? I just said a few words, and she got all fired up. So simple and easy to fool."

Huh?

Zhongli, who had been about to nod, paused mid-motion.

"Young friend, you...?"

Li Yue spread his hands.

"Zhongli, you know the Yuheng Star is a very serious person. I just came over to tell stories, but she thought I was knowledgeable and started grilling me about all sorts of things—even asking how to get along with adepti. I'm just a storyteller. What the hell do I know about dealing with adepti?"

"So I gave her something to do, to keep her off my back. Now she's fired up and off to work hard, isn't she?"

"So, what you said about the Vago Monarch faking his death?"

"Made it up, of course. Making up stuff like that is no big deal—even if it's wrong, it doesn't matter. I said I guessed the Vago Monarch would do that. If he actually does, then I guessed right. If he doesn't, then who are we to fathom the Archon's thoughts? Either way, I can't be wrong!"

Li Yue had the look of someone who didn't care if the sky fell—utterly shameless, leaving Zhongli speechless.

"Young friend Li Yue, aren't you afraid the Archon will find out you're making up stories about him?"

"So what if he does? It's not like he's going to show up in front of me himself."

"And if he dares to show up in front of me..."

"What would you do if he did?"

Zhongli looked at him curiously. To speak so boldly—did Li Yue actually hide some unknown power?

Li Yue's mouth twisted into a smirk.

"I'd drop to my knees on the spot and beg him to spare my life!"

Zhongli: ...

4. Silly Chat Group

Li Yue, a good young man from the 21st century, loved nothing more than browsing the internet for entertainment—a classic troll.

But a troll eventually becomes the joke. While chasing his fun, he transmigrated into Teyvat, landing smack in the middle of a Hilichurl tribe. The defenseless troll nearly got beaten to death by a Hilichurl's wooden club. Luckily, he had a flash of inspiration and shouted to the sky: "Xiao!"

Then a short, cyan figure leaped out and saved him. Though puzzled by Li Yue's floral shirt, shorts, and flip-flops, Teyvat was a place where people walked around in lingerie—a little eccentric clothing was nothing. Xiao sent him to the outskirts of Liyue Harbor, letting him reach safety.

To avoid starving, he started hanging around Wanmin Restaurant and Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. When hungry, he went to Wanmin, mingling with Xiangling under the guise of food research and mooching meals. When tired, he went to Wangsheng, lying in a coffin just like Hu Tao.

Later, to make money, he found Xingqiu and published The Smiling, Proud Wanderer. Once he had cash, Li Yue started looking for fun again.

After confirming the timeline hadn't reached the main story yet, he deliberately began telling stories in front of Zhongli—especially about the Vago Monarch, always adding artistic flourishes. Watching Zhongli's complicated expression as he struggled to refute him filled Li Yue with joy.

After all, "no one understands the Vago Monarch better than him"!

After parting with Zhongli, Li Yue returned to Wangsheng, pulled a fishing creel, rod, and folding chair from his coffin, and headed to the docks to fish. Though The Smiling, Proud Wanderer's publication had earned him a good sum, he didn't leave Wangsheng. He stayed—after all, he was sleeping in the same room as Hu Tao! Even if it was two coffins side by side, that still counted as "sharing a room"!

And Wangsheng had Zhongli, that great figure. In Teyvat, there was no safer place—the weight of the Geo God was reassuring!

At the docks, he greeted the old Tianquan Star, who was already fishing, found a spot, set up his rod, and plopped down on his folding chair. While waiting for a bite, he shifted his attention elsewhere.

"The time's almost here."

In Li Yue's vision, there was a window only he could see—looking exactly like a certain chat app developed by Boss Ma.

Genshin Impact teaming up with TX? Seemed fine—after all, Honkai: Star Rail ads had already popped up on QQ's splash screen. And MiHoYo competed with TX games, not with QQ itself, right?

Transmigrators having a cheat is pretty normal. Li Yue's cheat was this chat group—a bit of an old trope, honestly. When chat group stories first came out, they were all the rage, and Li Yue had read plenty of them, so he was familiar with the formula. Watch some anime and novels, show off in front of the group members, get sponsored power from them, then start a path of unstoppable domination.

So far, he was the only one in the group, with the nickname Meme Lord and a very retro pixel-animal avatar. But in the upper right corner of the chat window, there was a countdown—720 hours total. It had been ticking since Li Yue first discovered this chat group cheat, a full month's countdown, and now it was finally about to end. Li Yue figured that when it hit zero, new members would probably join.

5. 4. 3. 2. 1. 0.

As Li Yue watched eagerly, the countdown finally reached zero.

Two messages popped up in the chat window.

Fat Woman in Black Stockings joined the Silly Chat Group

Hair Gel Man in the Sky joined the Silly Chat Group

The names that appeared weren't their real names but the chat group's custom nicknames, but Li Yue knew who they were at a glance: Kasumigaoka Utaha and Aizen Sousuke. These two were practically must-have members for the "multiverse chat group" genre!

So cliché, so formulaic! But I love it!

Fat Woman in Black Stockings: What's going on? Have I been up too late and started hallucinating? Am I actually imagining I've joined a chat group connecting to other worlds?

Fat Woman in Black Stockings: Huh? Why are all my thoughts showing up? Is this hallucination this serious? And what does "Fat Woman in Black Stockings" mean?!

Because Li Yue had set up a group announcement, every new member joining the chat group would immediately see the description: a chat group connecting different worlds.

Hair Gel Man in the Sky: Thinking this is an illusion, are we? Something that can make me hallucinate would be no ordinary matter. And "Hair Gel Man in the Sky"—is that referring to me?

Inside the Fifth Division barracks in the Seireitei, Aizen held Kyōka Suigetsu in his right hand, keeping it in its released state. His expression was calm as he looked around, constantly sensing the surrounding reishi, but he detected nothing unusual.

Meme Lord: Hey hey hey~~~ This is the group admin. Welcome to my Silly Chat Group, you two! What you're seeing isn't an illusion—it's real. How about this: as a welcome gift and a little proof, I'll send you both some raspberries. They should be something neither of your worlds has.

Meme Lord sent a Group Red Packet.

Meme Lord: Just tap to claim it. Give it a try.

Aizen didn't hesitate. He tapped to claim it immediately, and a golden raspberry appeared in his hand.

Hair Gel Man in the Sky: Interesting. It's real. And if I may ask, what exactly is this raspberry? I sense a very faint, peculiar energy within it.

Meme Lord: It's just an ordinary raspberry—a fruit you can pick freely in the wild. Neither of your worlds has it. As for that peculiar energy you're sensing, it's probably Elemental Power, a natural energy from my world.