An Excellent Teacher and His Idiot Students

An Excellent Teacher and His Idiot Students

P.S. The contract's signed, so it's still one chapter today. Starting tomorrow, there'll be two chapters a day. New author, new book—please follow along, favorite it, and vote if you can. Thanks to all you wonderful readers.

In the dim cave, Danzo untied the bandages around his forehead, and his tightly shut right eye slowly opened.

Looking at the red eyeball in his right socket in the mirror, along with the three black tomoe within it, Danzo fell silent for a moment before turning to look at the Root ninja kneeling below him.

The decline in his right eye's vision had already exceeded his expectations. If he could not find a replacement before it went completely blind, he would truly become a blind man.

What a pity. During the war, although the Uchiha Clan's jonin had suffered casualties, none of their bodies had ended up in his hands.

Danzo narrowed his eyes at the people below and said in a slightly hoarse voice, "Report on the Uchiha Clan members who have left the village."

"Yes!"

A Root ninja stepped forward, dropped to one knee, and reported, "Most of the Uchiha Clan's jonin have remained active within the village, with no sign of leaving. Three chunin have left the village on B-Rank Missions, and seven genin have left on C-Rank Missions. Uchiha Asuka left the village this morning on a D-Rank Mission."

Uchiha Asuka. Danzo repeated the name a few times in his mind, then lowered his gaze to the kneeling ninja and asked, "What about those two useless fools who went looking for trouble last time?"

"They are recovering from their injuries at home."

"Take someone skilled in interrogation to pay them a visit. Also, tell them to set Uchiha Asuka aside for now. Once they have recovered, have them come see me."

"Yes!"

After the ninja vanished from the spot, Danzo reached behind his head and resumed wrapping his bandages.

Jonin came in different grades. Under equal circumstances, an Uchiha Clan jonin held an immense advantage over jonin from other ninja clans.

Defeating an Uchiha jonin was not difficult. Enough people could do it.

But killing an Uchiha Clan jonin was a whole different matter.

Especially when trying to surround and kill one who came with their own Medical Ninjutsu—the difficulty was extraordinary. Danzo shook his head, his gaze settling on the Uchiha Clan Grounds.

Last time, he had only wanted to test how strong that fellow had become. Instead, he had learned nothing and wasted a considerable amount on medical expenses.

It felt even worse than treating Sarutobi to a meal.

Achoo!

Asuka wrinkled his nose. After glancing at the kittens hanging all over Uzuki Yugao, he looked toward the dense forest ahead and muttered, "I feel like someone's cursing me.

Tonight, I'll pay a visit to that 'Root' ninja's house and discuss enemies with him.

Tomorrow, I have to explain the Will of Fire to those clan children.

The day after tomorrow, I need to take them on missions.

And the day after that, I have to attend an emergency clan meeting.

I'm so busy."

Hearing her teacher muttering, Uzuki Yugao took the kitten perched atop her head down and looked up at him in confusion. "Teacher, what are you muttering about?"

"Nothing. I just think I figured out why I don't have a girlfriend."

"What reason?"

"My schedule's too full, I have too little time off, I don't have time to date, and there aren't any suitable targets."

"Teacher, is there nobody you like?"

At that, Asuka's steps halted. He looked down at Yugao for a while, then saw her evasive gaze and said speechlessly, "The person I like doesn't exist in this world."

"Huh?"

Uzuki Yugao blinked and asked in surprise, "Why?"

"Sigh."

Asuka sighed, then began counting on his fingers. "I like Tsunade's figure, Kushina's hair, Uchiha Mikoto's gentleness, Inuzuka Tsume's wildness, Yuhi Kurenai's red eyes. White eyes are fine too.

Add in the Nara Clan's intelligence, the Akimichi Clan's appetite, and the Yamanaka Clan's tricks—"

"Wait!"

Uzuki Yugao interrupted her teacher's rambling. She stared at Asuka with an odd expression and slowly took a small step back, asking uncertainly, "Teacher, why do you only like parts of each person? Isn't that something only a pervert would think?"

"You don't understand. It's precisely because I haven't found such a perfect woman that your teacher is still single.

Do you know Kakashi?"

Asuka pointed toward Konoha. He had accidentally revealed a little too much just now, so he needed to redirect the disaster.

"Do you know why Kakashi still doesn't have a girlfriend?"

"Why?"

Uzuki Yugao's curiosity was successfully piqued. She was quite interested in gossip about the village's genius.

That was Kakashi, who had become a jonin at twelve.

Even with half his face covered by a mask, it could not hide his handsome looks. His white hair made people want to ruffle it a few times, and his powerful strength made people feel safe, okay?

Asuka took out a tissue, bent down, and wiped away the drool flowing from Uzuki Yugao's mouth. Then he said mysteriously, "A few days ago, I saw Kakashi tugging on Might Guy's pants and saying that a mighty man like Guy had something down there the size of an 'acorn.'

You didn't see it then. Kakashi looked utterly regretful when he saw the acorn.

I now have reason to suspect that Kakashi wants to be with Might Guy—"

"Shut up!"

Uzuki Yugao grabbed her hair and tugged hard, her eyes instantly turning somewhat crazed.

She had just been imagining herself ruffling Kakashi-senpai's hair. Why did he have to bring up something like that?

She looked at Asuka in anguish and gritted her teeth. "You ruined Kakashi-senpai in my mind."

"What's the big deal?"

Asuka straightened up, picked his nose, and said casually, "That old Third Hokage you admire so much peeps on Widow while she bathes every day.

And Jiraiya isn't a good person either. He often stands on top of walls with toads under his feet, peeping into bathhouses.

Oh, when Jiraiya returned to the village some time ago, he loudly announced that the material in his mind had accumulated over many years and was about to overflow.

The Make-Out Series will be released soon.

When the time comes, Teacher will snatch you a copy and secretly send it to your house. You—"

Bang! Before he could finish, Asuka felt a fierce gust of wind rush at his face. Looking at Yugao's murderous expression and the kitten flying through the air, he hurriedly advised, "Don't throw the cats. Too much fur falling out will make the mission hard to complete."

"I don't care. I feel like there's a hole in my heart."

"You're lacking love. It's a sign that you lack the Will of Fire. I'll make it up to you later."

"No!"

With that, she grabbed the cat lying on her head and threw it at Asuka again.

If Yugao had known the phrase "Dao heart," she would have understood that after her teacher's lesson, her Dao heart had shattered.

Meow~ Meow~ When Iruka saw Uchiha Asuka again, he looked at the cat fur on his teacher and the patchy-furred kittens following beside him.

After hesitating on the spot for a while, he pointed at one balding kitten and asked uncertainly, "Teacher, are you this violent when catching cats?"

"Sigh!"

Asuka shook his head dejectedly. He secretly glanced at Uzuki Yugao's flushed cheeks, then held out a hand to Iruka. "How did the information gathering go?"

"It's all here!"

Taking the notebook Iruka handed over, Asuka glanced over the information recorded inside before saying to Hyuga Hanahana, "Hanahana, now it's time to test your sensory abilities.

Treat what we're doing as a confidential operation. If anyone looks at us too many times or secretly follows us, take note of them and quietly tell me."

"Okay!"

Hyuga Hanahana answered calmly, directly activating her Byakugan and vigilantly observing her surroundings.

She did not know why her teacher was doing this, but whatever Teacher said had to be right.

Besides, Teacher caught cats so quickly. He had caught over twenty in less than half a day.

As expected of a D-Rank Mission maniac.

"..."

By the time the four arrived at a small dye workshop with the kittens, Hyuga Hanahana had begun doubting her own judgment.

When she heard her teacher use the information they had painstakingly gathered to tell the owner to dye the cats into different colors, Hyuga Hanahana shot Asuka a sideways look, tugged on his sleeve, and said expressionlessly, "Teacher, this is deception."

???

Asuka stared at Hyuga Hanahana with a face full of question marks, then shook the kitten in his hand and said, "Iruka, let Teacher give you an example.

If you get married in the future and one day your wife suddenly goes missing, you'd be worried sick and issue a mission to find her. But in the end, you discover that she was merely tired of staying at home and spent a few days enjoying the colorful world outside. Then someone places a new wife before you. This new wife acts cute, clings to you, and most importantly, doesn't run away. She's considerate too. Give her a bite to eat and she'll treat you like a god. As long as you don't abandon her, she'll never abandon you. She won't mind that you're poor or that your home is falling apart. Give her one can of food and she can eat for three days.

Would you want a wife like that? Answer me honestly—would you??"

Iruka blinked at that and began seriously thinking it over in his mind.

If it was as Teacher said... it seemed... it seemed... Seeing the struggle actually appear in Iruka's eyes, Hyuga Hanahana clenched her fist and punched him on the head.

Thud! Looking at Iruka squatting on the ground with his head in his hands, she crossed her arms and stared coldly at Asuka. "Teacher, you're twisting logic! Cats and people are different."

"Are they?"

Asuka took a pair of cat ears from his clothes and put them on Hyuga Hanahana's head. Then he selected a "scheming" cat from among the kittens and whispered into its ear, "Convince her, and I'll give you ten cans of food."

Ten cans?

After receiving Asuka's confirmation, the cat's eyes instantly lit up. It beckoned Hyuga Hanahana over with its paw, led her to an empty corner, and began telling her about its bedridden parents. If its miserable feline life could not move a child who had just graduated from the Ninja Academy, it might as well keep wandering the streets.

"Why is my cat so fat?"

"Oh, we fed it several pounds of cat food while catching it. That's why."

"Where did the fur on my Little Black's head go?"

"Your Little Black fought stray cats outside and bravely repelled several of them."

"Why has Little White suddenly become so clingy?"

"It wandered outside for a few days, understood the hardships of the outside world, and learned the warmth of home. This is a good thing."

"Hmph!"

Hyuga Hanahana snorted. While continuously using her Byakugan to observe the expressions of passersby, she looked disdainfully at her teacher.

He really could talk.

The cats clearly were not even the original cats, yet he could spin it like this.

And these people raising cats were something else too. They could not even recognize their own cats.

"Teacher Asuka!"

Iruka hugged the cat in his arms and jogged a few steps to catch up with Asuka. Holding up the cat, he asked in confusion, "Can we... really learn anything this way?"

"Yes!" Asuka nodded firmly. He turned to face his three students, and the playful expression on his face instantly vanished as he said seriously, "D-Rank cat-catching missions test your observation skills, intelligence-gathering skills, practical skills, and teamwork.

You and Hyuga Hanahana did very well with the intelligence gathering.

And—"

At that moment, Uzuki Yugao suddenly raised her head to look at Asuka, cutting in to continue, "To avoid others discovering that we were falsifying things, we had to remain vigilant of our surroundings. Every one of us had to stay alert and constantly observe the expressions of the villagers around us, preventing them from noticing anything strange and reporting us to Hokage-sama.

It's like carrying out missions outside the village. One careless mistake can bring disaster.

Teacher only raised the difficulty of our mission. A cat-catching mission normally only requires observing cats, but we had to observe the passersby as well."

"Then what about practical skills and teamwork?"

Listening to Iruka's idiotic words, Asuka rubbed his head with a slight headache. "What practical skills do you need for a D-Rank Mission? Next time, Teacher will take you to pick up trash. That requires practical skills. As for teamwork, weren't the four of us acting all sneaky just now teamwork?

Look how seamlessly we worked together.

Hyuga Hanahana stood at a distance as lookout. Iruka and Uzuki Yugao, you stood on the street and constantly watched for strange looks from people around us.

Teacher personally returned the cats to their owners.

Flawless teamwork. When I used to do this alone, I even had to make a Shadow Clone. It was a huge hassle."

After saying that, Asuka looked at his three students' dark expressions, and his face immediately filled with helplessness.

Other teachers only knew how to rigidly complete D-Rank Missions, but I've turned yours into something creative.

Search all of Konoha—where else would you find such a good teacher?

Sure enough, teaching students was troublesome.

No, that wasn't right.

Teaching students who couldn't adapt was troublesome.

Was this an excellent teacher and his idiot students? Hiss! Asuka sucked in a breath. Just as his mind had wandered, he suddenly felt as though someone was watching him—and watching him with malicious intent. After secretly looking around, Asuka's gaze suddenly fell on Hyuga Hanahana. Confused, he asked, "Was that you secretly using your Byakugan to look at me just now?"

Whoosh! Hyuga Hanahana's face instantly turned red. She hurriedly shook her head, repeatedly insisting that she had not.

She had looked before, but she definitely had not looked just now.