Social Anxiety and the Rock of Loneliness

Bocchi didn't think she had the strength to escape from a burly man, so to avoid getting hurt, she obediently followed him inside.

Father, Mother, I'm sorry. Even though I'm a useless daughter, you'll never see me again.

Just as she was about to cry.

Ishikawa Hayato asked the counter nervously and seriously.

"Boss, give me that."

Behind the counter sat a tall, strong man with broad shoulders and thick arms, wearing a dirty apron and a cigarette dangling from his mouth. He put out the cigarette butt in the ashtray and exhaled, white mist spreading in the air.

"This is illegal."

Ishikawa Hayato sighed, as if he had made up his mind.

"I know."

Behind him, Bocchi's tears burst out.

No! At least... at least give me anesthesia.

Nili, I'm sorry. I never took good care of you before. Ah, but Nili doesn't seem to need my care.

"You'll have to wait a moment."

The boss sighed, as if lamenting the young man's path to damnation.

Watching this, Bocchi felt her death was imminent, and all her memories flashed before her eyes like a slideshow.

Nijika, Ryo, Kita, I'm sorry I can't play with you anymore!

As Bocchi began to repent for her life, the boss pushed out a bicycle.

It was a lady's bicycle, about seven-tenths new, with a reinforced rear seat.

Regular bicycle rental shops didn't rent out this kind of bike.

"I'll say it one last time, carrying a passenger is illegal, you..." The boss looked at the girl trembling behind Ishikawa Hayato and sighed.

"The vehicle is well-maintained, don't worry."

He smiled nostalgically and pushed the bike towards Ishikawa Hayato.

Ishikawa Hayato reached out his hand.

The boss shook it, their hands clasped tightly.

"Okay."

35. Love

After paying, they left the bicycle rental shop.

Ishikawa Hayato pushed the bicycle a few steps, checked its condition, and scanned the surroundings to make sure there were no police. Then he said to the bewildered Bocchi.

"Bocchi, get on."

"Um... carrying a passenger is illegal..."

Bocchi lowered her head. Although she couldn't see it herself, her small feet in loafers shuffled backward.

After understanding the situation, Bocchi had already apologized to Ishikawa Hayato in her heart for her misunderstanding.

But getting on the bike was another matter.

If they were caught by the police for carrying a passenger... the thought of that scene terrified her.

Ishikawa Hayato leaned on the bike and asked her, who was shrinking back.

"The distance from here to our destination is almost four kilometers. Can you walk that far, Bocchi?"

"Ah..."

Bocchi looked up in surprise, realizing that Ishikawa Hayato had rented the bike out of consideration for her.

Someone is actually being so nice to me!

While touched, her unease gradually lessened, and she felt a surge of recklessness.

She began to waver.

Seeing her like this, the young man, who had only been learning keyboard for less than a month, said boastfully.

"It's okay, we're in a band. For rock and roll, the law is just a piece of paper."

He said this with a bright smile and gave a thumbs-up.

Ishikawa-kun seems like a very dangerous person...

Bocchi thought to herself.

Also... you're going to tarnish the image of rock and roll!

In the end, Bocchi got on the bicycle.

She placed her bag between the two seats, straddled the rear seat, held onto the back seat, and stepped onto the small footplate by the rear axle.

After sitting down, she looked at the sturdy back in front of her and said softly.

"Um... Ishikawa-kun... I'm ready."

Ishikawa Hayato looked back at her very unladylike sitting posture.

He didn't mind; instead, he nodded with satisfaction.

"Hold on tight, don't fall off."

Bocchi:?

The next moment, the acceleration made her head snap back. Afraid of falling, she quickly straightened up, but overdid it and bumped right into Ishikawa Hayato's back.

Bocchi was stunned.

W-what should I do? I'm going to be killed.

I actually did something like this.

To Ishikawa-kun, the law is just a piece of paper.

At that moment, a hand suddenly pressed against her lower back.

"You didn't fall, did you?"

Although she was a little nervous from the sudden touch, Bocchi felt a little happy hearing the unexpectedly concerned voice from in front.

She looked ahead. Her field of vision consisted only of a broad back and the constantly passing scenery.

No one was looking at her.

And she was completely relying on the boy in front of her.

If Ishikawa-kun hadn't been joking that day... she probably would have experienced this kind of happiness.

However, she could tell that Ishikawa-kun was a very capable person, and he certainly wouldn't choose someone like her...

It was then that she suddenly realized she hadn't answered Ishikawa Hayato's question.

But so much time had already passed... Would it be weird to answer now?

She opened her mouth and, gathering her courage, said.

"I'm fine... Um, what about you, Ishikawa-kun?"

She asked out of concern.

But contrary to her expectations, Ishikawa Hayato's voice was filled with laughter.

"You bumped me pretty hard."

"But it felt kind of cute. The feeling of your little head bumping into me was interesting. I really want to pat it."

E-eh?!

He's happy!

Bocchi's face immediately turned red. She pressed her lips together tightly, suppressing her shyness and joy.

At the same time, a thought stirred within her, and a sentence blurted out inexplicably.

"Um, can I lean on you?"

What... what was I just saying! Even if I got carried away, it shouldn't be at a time like this.

As she regretted it, wishing for a time machine or some other means to erase that period of time.

"Sure, I'd be delighted."

Ishikawa Hayato's delighted voice came from the front.

He... agreed?

A gentle breeze brushed past her. The sound of the bicycle chain turning skipped slightly. Bocchi felt her face burning.

The wind feels so cool, I'll lean a little, Ishikawa-kun agreed, she told herself.

Gently, she rested her forehead on Ishikawa Hayato's back.

It felt very firm...

Ishikawa-kun's back was solid... and as his legs pedaled, the muscles in his back moved, exuding a powerful aura.

And his clothes had a refreshing scent.

She felt very safe behind him, different from the feeling in her closet, but the sense of security was the same.

Is this what it feels like to be with a boy?

Lost in the moment, just as she was about to wrap her arms around him, Bocchi suddenly snapped back to reality.

Wait, isn't this like I'm some pervert!

So close, so close, my life almost ended.

Ishikawa-kun is not someone I can reach.

Just as the desire to find a boyfriend intensified in Bocchi's heart, she heard Ishikawa Hayato say.

"My life is complete. Riding a bicycle with a beautiful girl is truly the most romantic thing in life."

A beautiful girl? Was he talking about me?

While she didn't know how to respond, Ishikawa Hayato continued.

"And the way your shy head is resting against my back, it's super cute."

He's talking about me!

Bocchi was both embarrassed and delighted. After composing herself for a moment, she suppressed her voice, which felt like it was about to float away.

"Um, I'm not a beautiful girl... I'm not pretty, and also..."

Before she could finish speaking, the bicycle slowed down rapidly, and Ishikawa Hayato said, "We're here."

So soon!

Bocchi was startled, and a sense of loss washed over her.

With the sound of the brakes, the bicycle glided for a few seconds before stopping.

Bocchi lowered her head. It was normal for her words to be ignored; she was long accustomed to it.

After the bicycle stopped, she looked around.

They were now on a rural mountain path that stretched as far as the eye could see.

The chirping of birds and a sound like waves came from afar. She turned her head and saw a grassy field to the right of the road.