'96: The Great Plan to Flee an Engagement

"Wow! Why are you burning me with flames?"

"Why did you shave off your beard? Do you know that without it, you've got no character at all?"

"Really?"

"Honestly, you can't make it as a scholar or a fighter. If you won't be a bandit, do you want to become the top scholar or something?"

"I've thought about it..."

"Give it up! What image are you trying to change? Go be a bandit—it's a very promising career!"

"..."

Zhou Xingchi and Mo Wenwei's classic dialogue echoed through the theater. When A Chinese Odyssey later swept across the continent, it was probably hard to imagine how things had been when the film had first been released in mainland China in 1995. One word described it all: cold.

Jokes people couldn't understand often became cold jokes. Could a movie be filmed like this? Could Journey to the West be adapted like this? Thus, throughout the theater, some were stunned, some laughed and cursed, while others were left wide-eyed and speechless. Perhaps only someone as unconventional as Shasha could laugh uproariously while pounding Jiaming's shoulder with all her might.

"No, he's Sun Wukong? He's Sun Wukong... How can he be Sun Wukong... Hahaha, take that! Take that..."

"Hey, Shasha, stop laughing. Look, so many people are staring at you..." Lingjing giggled beside them. Shasha had a habit of throwing punches whenever she got too happy, and naturally, Jiaming was usually the one who got hit. Of course Jiaming understood the absurd humor in A Chinese Odyssey, but he only gave a few perfunctory laughs. Inside, he thought Shasha had gotten a little loopy. Ever since the incident with the Cao father and son, she had become increasingly loopy.

In truth, Shasha herself felt that she had been acting strangely lately. The kiss in the woods behind the lumber processing plant, when she had licked the blood from Jiaming's lips, often resurfaced in her mind. Every day, she wanted to see more of him. When Jiaming was beside her, she felt safe and comfortable, and sometimes her heart would race and her face would flush for no reason.

Judging by the romance novels she had read, she had probably fallen for Jiaming.

But how could that be? Jiaming was her good friend, and he was the boy her other good friend, Lingjing, liked. Since Lingjing liked him, logically, she shouldn't like him too. But if she didn't like him, then what sort of attitude should she have toward him?

The three of them had grown up playing together. There had long been no barriers between them, and the occasional physical contact amid their horseplay was nothing unusual. Because of several accidental incidents, Jiaming had seen both girls' bodies, while they had each more or less seen some of Jiaming's private parts. But if she wasn't supposed to like this boy, what distance was she meant to keep from him? Was she supposed to become more distant than she had been as a friend? Such confusion made Shasha's behavior rather abnormal lately.

If she got too close, she would think of Lingjing and blush with a racing heart. If she kept too far away, she felt as though the other two would exclude her from their circle of friends altogether. Shasha absolutely could not bear that feeling. Unable to advance or retreat, she alternated between being violent and ladylike, and that feeling persisted throughout the rest of '96.

Of course, from an observer's perspective, Shasha's first stirrings of love had probably come before Lingjing's. Lingjing's earlier fondness for Jiaming might still have been vague, not yet beyond the realm of childish feelings. She could share Jiaming with Shasha without caring, and cheer them on as her two friends rolled around on the sparring platform. But what exactly was love? Who could really say?

Before long, time entered the beginning of '96. School had let out for winter break, which meant the three of them had more time to spend together. Jiaming and Lingjing were nearly fifteen, while after her birthday in September, Shasha would enter the blossoming years of a sixteen-year-old girl. Amid happiness that could be found everywhere and hazy, youthful love, the two little girls whose minds were gradually maturing and the little boy whose mind had long since matured still held fast to their tiny world. No one knew when that world would be shaken, and no one gave it any thought.

For Jiaming, the two girls had grown up psychologically as well, making them much less boring to be around than before. They were Yuri, so his relationship with them would not become strange. When he used them as his shields, he could also become a shield for the two of them. This three-person arrangement was practically perfect. He had never experienced a normal childhood before, and at this point, what he felt was not merely ease and freedom. It was happiness...

A few days after the New Year, Jianghai City was blanketed in white snow. Wearing down jackets and gloves, the three tore through its streets and alleys, playing video games, skating, riding bumper cars in the park, and shooting. The two girls' cheeks were flushed red, their spirits high. On the fourth day after the New Year, they found a cage of kittens that had been abandoned outside shortly after they were born. Of the five kittens, four had already frozen to death. Only one incredibly ugly white kitten was revived after Lingjing cradled it in her arms to warm it.

The three brought it home. Shasha named it Achou, while Lingjing said it looked like a newborn lamb and suggested calling it Meme. Jiaming thought the ugly cat had narrowly escaped death and proposed Qing Yu Nian. In the end, Shasha won. The kitten was named Achou and became a new member of their little world.

Time passed amid peaceful warmth. Jiaming occasionally used secret intelligence websites to investigate the situation in the United States. He learned that the Salieri Family, to which Marilyn belonged, and the Gambino Family were once again vaguely stirring beneath dark clouds, but he did not take it seriously. After all, it was hardly the first time those two families had gone to war. Little Heidi had entered a singing competition in New York the previous Christmas and won first place in the children's division. But the internet was still underdeveloped, so Jiaming could only find written information; there was no way to locate any video or audio recordings.

In April, when spring was warm and flowers were blooming, a letter appeared on Jiaming's desk through secret channels. It roughly stated that Ten'u Masanori and Yuechi Xun had held an engagement ceremony. Jiaming glanced at it, then burned it, thinking, What does that have to do with me?

Normally, while hanging around with the two young girls, he naturally could not avoid occasionally seeing Zhang Yahan, their busty, maturity-pretending beauty of a teacher. He would tease her a little, and sometimes he even thought that since he had no chance with the two Yuri girls, perhaps he could marry this woman in the future. Then he would think he had gone brain-dead.

One evening in June, not long after Jiaming, Lingjing, and Shasha returned to the Ye Family Martial Arts School, Zhang Yahan suddenly came to visit. This time, however, she was different from usual. The beautiful teacher was dressed to the nines. For once, she was not wearing those ugly glasses on her nose, and her wavy curls had been straightened, cascading down her back like a waterfall. Six burly men followed beside her as bodyguards, each of them looking like they could fight even better than Father Ye.

"Mm, Sister's twenty-second birthday is in a few days, and I'm getting engaged too. I brought these invitations for you. Remember to come on time, okay? Hehehehe... And these two are for Master and Mistress. Where are Master and Mistress?"

At the moment, Father Ye and Mom Ye were preparing dinner. Zhang Yahan's smile was somewhat seductive, and somewhat exaggerated. The two young girls were simply happy for her and did not notice anything odd. Jiaming looked at the six bodyguards around them and vaguely understood that Zhang Yahan probably did not want this. But as a member of a great family, how much did her own wishes count? Another potential marriage candidate was gone. He merely curled his lips faintly.

After offering a few words of congratulations, Jiaming saw Zhang Yahan making strange faces and winking at him while the six bodyguards behind her were not paying attention. He found it amusing, but could only spread his hands helplessly.

A little later, Jiaming went to the bathroom to relieve himself. Before he had finished, he heard several people outside the door. Just as he thought, Yahan, you wouldn't actually do this, would you? the door was pushed open, then slammed shut with a bang.

Jiaming hurriedly pulled up his zipper, but Zhang Yahan charged over as though she had not seen anything below his waist. She clamped a hand over his mouth and kept making frantic "Shh—shh—" sounds.

"Please, I was taking a leak. If you burst in like this, it'll have a harmful effect on the rest of my life. This concerns a man's most important kidneys and prostate..." Only after a long while did Jiaming lower his voice and protest.

"If you have no women for the rest of your life, I'll find them for you. College girls only cost a few tens of thousands..." Zhang Yahan ignored him. She turned on the tap, creating a hissing sound like someone urinating, then turned back around. "Are we friends? Are we best friends? Say it!"

"Beauty, which wire in your brain has come loose this time? Please look at your own status! You want to flee an engagement? Didn't you realize long ago that you might have to marry someone you don't like?"

"You knew I wanted to flee my engagement, and you deliberately pretended not to see my eyes signaling you! Do you believe I'll kill you in this bathroom?" Zhang Yahan bared her teeth and claws. "That determination was something I said when I was joking! I don't want to sacrifice a lifetime of happiness for my family! You have to help me. You're the only one who can help me..."

"No, Sister Yahan, have you gone loopy? I'm still a child. Don't you have a better candidate?"

"If I did, why would I come looking for you?"

"Now I believe it. You're really a failure as a person..." Jiaming covered his forehead as the grown girl and little boy squatted in the bathroom, staring wide-eyed at each other.

"Anyway, I don't care. You're the only one who can help me." Zhang Yahan stood up and directly lifted her skirt, pulling it all the way up until her sexy thighs were exposed and her underwear could be seen. Then she pulled open the edge of the flesh-colored stocking around her right thigh and drew out a slip of paper from the inside of her thigh.

"Come on the day of the engagement. You have to prepare all these things for me. I know it'll be difficult, but... please! Even if you have to sell blood, I have to show those people what I'm made of!"

"Damn." Jiaming glanced at the items on the slip. "You don't need to make it sound so dramatic. It's only an engagement. I thought you wanted to murder someone and flee to Thailand..."

"Tch!" Zhang Yahan blushed. "You don't know their rules. An engagement is an engagement, but I have to sleep with that guy that same night. Those old fossils in the Liu Family said China doesn't have this engagement nonsense. They originally wanted us to get married immediately, and I fought desperately for ages before they agreed to an engagement—but only if we consummated it... Isn't that the same thing? I'd rather give my first time to a piece of chalk..."

"So Yahan, you're still a virgin? Since you don't want it anyway, why not give it to me right here? Mm, smells nice..." Jiaming lifted the slip of paper and sniffed it. Zhang Yahan immediately curled two fingers and knocked him hard on the head. "Ow! Is that how you treat someone you're asking for help? Believe it or not, I'll scream right now!"

"Enough, you little pervert. Stop messing around." Yahan's cheeks had turned crimson. Jiaming naturally knew that sniffing the slip of paper had embarrassed her, and before he could think of what to say, Yahan pulled him over and pressed his head against her chest. "Let's make it this way. Remember to get everything on that list. My lifelong happiness is in your hands!"

She hurriedly finished speaking, then ran out through the doorway with a red face. In the bathroom, Jiaming read through the list once more, then shook his head, tore it into pieces, and flushed it down the toilet.