Past Thoughts

Zhu Yufeng reached for his wine glass, looking at the red wine inside, and said, "I... of course I understand all this. I've never doubted Elysia's feelings. I also know how much courage it took for her to initially decide to find me and be the first to confess her identity as a genie. At that time, she already knew that I was also a genie, and that I still remembered that first thing. Given all the misunderstandings and estrangement we had, she chose to be honest with me... but..."

"May I understand it this way, Elysia, for you, is the first beautiful thing you know, something you yearn for, while Lilith is the companion on your path forward, the support you have always had... The Present seems that you are completely unable to choose between them?" Eden said to Zhu Yufeng, "If you had already made up your mind, you wouldn't still be unable to make a decision the Present."

"That's right, I have no choice." Zhu Yufeng looked up into Eden's eyes and said, "I've already talked to Kevin about this issue. I can't make a choice between Elysia and Lilith."

Eden was silent.

Zhu Yufeng chuckled self-deprecatingly, picked up his wine glass, took a sip, and then said, "Eden, tell me, have you ever thought about burying someone like me?"

Eden smiled and said slowly, "If I were to bury you, not only would Elysia be heartbroken, but she would probably dig you up immediately, right? I'd much rather bury Kevin than you."

After saying that, Eden took a sip of wine, then gently swirled the glass, looking at the red wine inside, and said, "Now that I've said all that, I'm also curious: if Elysia hadn't confessed this to you back then, and had instead watched from afar like in the previous life, what choice would you have made?"

Zhu Yufeng paused for a moment, then smiled wryly and said, "Do you think she would do that?"

"Of course not." Eden took another sip of his drink, an Elysia smile on his face. "Because Eleventh Law, she liked you so much. Before that, at the tea party she hosted, she talked about you a lot with me and Aponia. Ninth Law... Lilith confessed to you after that, right?"

"Yes, but at the time I was focused on fighting the Honkai and didn't feel I was qualified to reciprocate her feelings, so I didn't agree to her request," Zhu Yufeng said. "When I talked to Elysia about this before, I realized that most of the Fire Moth thought I had agreed."

Moreover, after that, Lilith went completely wild and started using any means necessary...

"It seems you're really not good at these kinds of relationships," Eden sighed softly. "Even though you didn't agree to Lilith's request, you've been lenient and indulgent towards her behavior afterwards. Why do you think others won't misunderstand your relationship?"

After thinking for a moment, Zhu Yufeng said, "Maybe it's because I didn't care. For me at the time, I only wanted to defeat the Honkai, not for the future of humanity, but just to save Elysia's fate. Lilith grasped this point perfectly. You know, she's too outstanding. She was in charge of many tasks and meetings in the Fallen Angel Squad..."

"Just like what Elysia did in the Fourteen Schicksal?" Eden looked at Zhu Yufeng with amusement. "Kevin, as the leader of the Fourteen Schicksal, was basically not involved. Then someone who should have been the leader refused to become the leader and refused to communicate with Elysia because of the estrangement between them. As a result, Elysia was responsible for almost all the tasks."

"Don't say that. I can handle things too, but what I can do is far less than what Lilith can do," Zhu Yufeng tried to explain. "After Lilith takes over these matters, she can do even better than me, and the chances of winning against the Honkai will be much greater... so..."

He was being manipulated by Lilith, and there was nothing he could do...

"Isn't this the same as Kevin?" Eden shrugged. "We all know that Kevin's goal from the beginning was to become the 'savior' Heroes for May. He did it because May needed him, and you did the same. Besides, I think Kevin wasn't without his own ideas, but he felt that others could do it better than him, so he gave up thinking about it. Aren't you the same?"

"Maybe..." Zhu Yufeng was still trying to struggle. He felt that he was at least more emotionally intelligent than Kevin, "But I am not Kevin after all... I did much better than him in my academic tests... He is probably more humane than me."

He had never been affected by depression. He would crush anything that stood in his way. For example, Rebel Army Honkai, he hesitated before making the decision, not to mention the treatment of the surrendered prisoners. But once he made the decision, he did not hesitate to take action. When the suppression just started, he directly smashed a Sahara Desert with a Black Abyss White Flower. He had no psychological burden at all.

He only cares about the people he loves; he doesn't even bother to remember the names of others. The Rebel Army is unnecessary for the Fire Moth, and shouldn't exist for humanity, so what does he feel guilty about?

Let's get it done.

Even after his birth, when he considered how to deal with the constraints again, he wanted to continue to do as the Evil said, only this time he wanted to take the initiative to stop Elysia from communicating with the other Fusion Warrior.

"Really? Then who was it that, when they first confessed to Elysia, said they would continue to work hard to become Heroes like Kevin and get more attention from Elysia?" Eden said to Zhu Yufeng with a teasing look.

She still remembered the smile and tenderness in Elysia's eyes when she told her about that thing in her previous life. Back then, the boy's eyes were only for her, but when the boy became the Heroes he wanted to be, the two of them had already drifted apart.

She had heard Elysia mention that dress twice: once when she had just joined the Fire Moth, and the other time, before the Final Banquet, when she was dressing Elysia up. Compared to the first time, when the dress was mentioned again, Elysia's eyes were filled with confusion and sadness.

"You two really are best friends who can talk about anything." Zhu Yufeng smiled helplessly. "Yes, back then I was actually quite jealous of Kevin, jealous that he, as Heroes, received so much attention from Elysia... My relationship with Kevin only changed after the Seventh Law incident. Before that, it should be considered that I was unilaterally hostile to Kevin?"

"After all, you're a boy too." Eden poured himself another glass of wine, then filled Zhu Yufeng's glass as well. "But I'm a little curious, since you joined Elysia's team after the Fourth Law, and Kevin had been fighting alongside Elysia before that, if you're so sure about all that, why didn't you confess until after the Sixth Law? There must have been some kind of temptation involved, right?"

Zhu Yufeng was silent for a moment, then looked away and said softly, "After the Sixth Law, Elysia asked Kevin a question. She took Kevin's hand, pressed it to her forehead, and asked Kevin if one day, if she had to choose between herself and the majority of people, and if firing that shot could save the majority of people, what would Kevin choose?"

Eden paused, then nodded thoughtfully. "Elysia once said that Kevin felt quite guilty for causing the death of an entire city due to his momentary soft-heartedness... Were you there at the time?"

"Yes," Zhu Yufeng said, squinting, "But I just happened to be passing by..."

No way, he already knew this scene would happen, but he was so unwilling to accept it that he secretly followed and watched the live broadcast... and then he realized that the gap between him and Kevin was still too big.

"The reason I said later that I also wanted to become Heroes like Kevin was because at that time I felt that as long as I became the Heroes that everyone expected, no matter what setbacks I encountered, there would be people to comfort me and help me get out of trouble," Zhu Yufeng continued.

Now he understands that it was actually his own problem. Because of his identity as a transmigrator and because he knew the plot's direction in advance, he refused to interact too much with other non- Flame-Chasers, refused to integrate into this world, and arrogantly looked down on everyone.

Why would someone Fallen Angel if they didn't have some kind of barrier between themselves and the mortal realm?

What kind of Flame-Chasers can you be without some psychological or personality issues?

Eden was silent.

"Just like when Alicia asked Kevin a question Elysia Herrscher of the Seventh incident, or when Kevin fell into severe depression after the Seventh Herrscher Incident, Elysia gathered all the Fusion Warrior at the time to hold a special banquet for Kevin to encourage him," Zhu Yufeng continued to recall. "However, compared to the time after the Seventh Herrscher Incident, I didn't really care anymore. At that time, I felt that I couldn't surpass Kevin. His side effect as Fusion Warrior was extremely low body temperature, while I suffered from sleepless nights... The only thing that gave me some comfort was that my Honkai Energy resistance had increased..."

So... after the Twelfth Herrscher Incident, after learning about Kaede's true side effects, that's why Elysia...

Eden lowered his eyes.

She suddenly remembered another question. As far as she knew, when the Fusion Warrior Project was proposed, it wasn't just Kevin and Zhu Yufeng who underwent the surgery. In fact, there were only these two successful cases, and the expected success rate was 0. Kevin did it because he believed in Mei, but what about Zhu Yufeng?

Eden thought this and asked this question, "At that time, when you were facing almost certain death, unlike Kevin, you didn't act out of unwavering faith in your lover. What gave you the courage to undergo the Fusion Warrior surgery?"

"Because I had nothing, and that was the only opportunity I could seize. If I seized it, I could be like Kevin. Even if I was still not as good as Kevin, at least I wouldn't be left too far behind..." Zhu Yufeng replied. "I said I wanted to change the fate of Elysia and all the Thirteen Heroes of Fire Moth. If I couldn't become Fusion Warrior, then what I was doing was just wishful thinking. I don't have the knowledge of Su or Mei, nor the outstanding physique of Kevin. I could only gamble... Fortunately, I finally gambled correctly."

"Sigh..." Eden sighed softly, "The past is gone, existing only in our memories. The story between you and Elysia was also full of regrets, but fortunately, it can start again."

As Eden said this, Eden was already thinking about where it would be more appropriate to bury Kevin. In the last time, Elysia helped Kevin so much, but now Kevin is stubbornly insisting on being Feng-Lilith Faction.

Ultimately, Eden felt that if Zhu Yufeng hadn't witnessed Elysia asking Kevin the question, he probably wouldn't have confessed, nor would he have gone to Europe to meet Lilith afterward. If he and Elysia had spent more time together, Eden believed they would definitely have gotten together.

There are no "what ifs" in anything.

Eden was also a bit troubled by how things had turned out. She understood why Zhu Yufeng couldn't choose between the two of them.

Elysia was the first person Zhu Yufeng fell in love with and confessed to. He once fought against the Honkai solely for her. Now, Elysia has also confessed her feelings to Zhu Yufeng. The misunderstandings and barriers from the previous chapter have become the bonds of this chapter after being resolved.

Lilith, on the other hand, took the initiative to confess her feelings to Zhu Yufeng. Even after receiving a negative answer, she still chose to support him and accompany him all the way. During the Eleventh Herrscher Incident, she knew that there was no way out but she had no regrets.

That's probably why Zhu Yufeng had no choice, so he simply chose to give up.

Speaking of which, why does Lilith, who died the Tragedy of Binding, still retain her memories after the incident? However, Elysia also disappeared before the Finality, and the incident also involved her retaining her memories. If the source of all this was something that Maple, as the Herrscher of Time, did unconsciously...

At that time, in Feng's mind, these two were almost equally important?

Regarding Zhu Yufeng's identity and powers as a Herrscher, Elysia had already mentioned it to Eden Zhu Yufeng Elysia Lilith first met, during their joint operation.

"So this is the beginning again..." Zhu Yufeng's gaze shifted somewhat guiltily to the red wine in his glass, thinking to himself, "Actually, I only realized after I got to the top that it wasn't just Elysia and Lilith who had this idea..."

He certainly wouldn't dare say it.

Eden noticed the strange look in Zhu Yufeng's eyes and understood. Of course, she also knew that besides Elysia and Lilith, there were other people who liked Zhu Yufeng. For example, when the group went to pick out swimsuits, she could tell that, except for Hua, the others seemed to have some other thoughts. However, seeing that Lilith and Elysia didn't seem to care, she didn't say anything.

Speaking of this, she recalled the song Zhu Yufeng asked her to compose for all the Fallen Angel. After reading the song Lilith wrote for Zhu Yufeng, she had tried to write one herself...

Before the festival, she didn't fully understand Zhu Yufeng's ideas, so she was unsure about the melody and followed Lilith's lead. But now, she can create independently.