Knight Bus

"I never expected the earliest Superman to be like this." Nelson lay in bed, propped against the headboard, flipping through the copy of Action Comics Tom had given him and clicking his tongue in amazement.

"I don't get why you like this stuff." Tom sat on the floor, leaning against Nelson's chair to ease the exhaustion from their fight. He held a handkerchief and carefully wiped down his wand. "I think the author is ridiculously stupid. How could someone extraordinary live such a hand-to-mouth life?"

"Because of boundaries, Tom." Nelson tilted his head back against the wall and laid the magazine over his face. "Society exists by relying on order. Even if you're a wizard with extraordinary magic, you still have to follow it. Otherwise, we'd be the ones being penned up, hunted down, and made into wand cores."

"Maybe. Who knows?" Tom was noncommittal. "Don't you always say survival of the fittest?"

"I didn't say that. Darwin did, and Darwinism can only be applied to nature. As for—"

"Alright, alright, keep going and my ears will grow cocoons," Tom said dismissively, waving a hand and cutting Nelson off. "Why do I get the feeling you always think I'm some utterly evil villain? You're trying to reform me at full intensity every day."

"Not really." Nelson took the magazine off his face and looked down at Tom, who was wiping his wand for a second time. He explained blandly, "I just like lecturing people."

"That's true, haha." Tom laughed teasingly. "Did you know that in Slytherin, even those idiots who can barely finish their homework call you the 'Dark Lord'? Whenever they borrow homework from you, you lecture them with a black face. You're more old-fashioned than Professor Binns."

"Didn't I lend it to them in the end? Except for Charms. There was really nothing I could do about that, considering Professor Sakes caught me..."

"Yeah, you lent it to them in the end. That's why they call you 'the great Lord Dark Lord.'"

"I can't believe I got to enjoy that title first..." Nelson felt rather speechless. "I think they have too little homework. From now on, they can do it themselves."

The two chatted while doing their own things. Nelson continued reading his comic, while Tom carefully tucked his cleaned wand into his sleeve and pulled a crystal ball from his pocket to toy with.

"Want to do some Divination?" He placed their wands, which they had casually tossed onto the table, side by side and rolled the crystal ball back and forth between them like rails.

"You believe in that?" Nelson had always scoffed at Divination. In his view, the requirements for so-called prophecy were so harsh that it seemed like some Squib had invented it as a ridiculous scam to prove he was a wizard.

"You don't?" Tom knew Nelson had never liked Divination, but he had assumed Nelson hated it because he could always glimpse his own miserable fate. He had not expected Nelson not to believe in it at all. "There have been many famous seers in history who accurately predicted the course of major events."

"Yeah." Nelson sprawled limply across the bed. "How extraordinary. There are billions of people in the world. If everyone says one bit of nonsense, a couple of them are bound to get it right."

He jumped out of bed, put on his slippers, and walked over to Tom's crystal ball. He loosely cupped it in his palm and muttered under his breath, convulsing like he had been poisoned. After putting on that mystical act for a while, he lowered his hand, rolled his eyes, and began making things up.

"I say Germany will attack Poland when school starts next year, setting off a Muggle war that sweeps across the whole world!" He rolled his eyes again. "Maybe there are exactly three hundred and sixty-four people around the world talking nonsense and predicting a war right now. One of us is bound to become a great seer. If a war really starts next year, you can call me The Seer from then on."

"It's a deal!" Tom was a little exasperated to see Nelson slandering a subject he rather liked. "I'll write to our classmates right now and have them witness it."

"What are you going to write with?" Nelson grabbed the crystal ball and played with it. "You don't have an owl anymore."

"..."

"Sorry, sorry, that slipped out." Nelson instantly apologized when he saw Tom looking at him resentfully. "For the sake of the Collared Partridge, I was wrong."

"It's a Collared Owlet..." Tom looked as though he had nowhere to vent his frustration. "Did you forget? You said you were going to London tomorrow morning. I'm going to the post office to mail the letters."

"Nal, are you saying wizards take buses too?" At six the next morning, the entire street was pitch-black. Jonas and Bella stood at the door, watching Nelson and Tom wait for a bus. "I mean, London still has trams on its streets! Though I suppose magical cars don't need electric rails..."

"That's what Dumbledore told me. It went into service in 1865." Nelson frowned, pulled out his wand, and held it out as though hailing a taxi. "As long as you flag it down like this, it'll pop out. Wizards are sometimes very good at adapting technological achievements."

("Oh, Tom, once you're back at school, keep an eye on Nal. Don't let him get into fights!" Bella was vigorously straightening Tom's collar. Tom held his breath and endured it with difficulty, and his face already looked red from being strangled.)

"It really is advanced. I heard some countries are also researching this sort of positioning system..." Jonas agreed deeply.

("Aunt Bella, the holidays aren't over yet!" Tom waved his hands like a fish struggling on the beach. "We're just helping Dumbledore with something, then taking a look around Diagon Alley. We'll be back tonight.")

"Magic is convenient in some ways," Nelson said.

"Yes, and I think in most ways, it's far more convenient than ordinary people's lives." Jonas nodded in agreement. "That camera you brought, Nal, is a godsend for photographers and reporters! No developing needed, and you don't even need a flash when taking pictures! It's just a little slow sometimes. Oh, right—the photos you took at the orphanage the day before yesterday were developed early this morning. They came out wonderfully. I want to use them in the newspaper."

"You may have to discuss that with Mrs. Cole."

"I will. Seriously, that photo is absolutely fantastic!" Jonas put an arm around Nelson's shoulders. "If you weren't a wizard, I'd definitely train you to become a reporter!"

("Oh, I forgot." Bella showed no sign of embarrassment. "Are you eating out at noon? Do you have money?" she asked with concern, while inconspicuously kicking Jonas in the shin with her high heel. "Even children know they should go shopping during a holiday, Jonas. Don't you have any thoughts on the matter?! Go spend time with your bus and camera!")

"I'll take you out today!" Jonas turned and solemnly promised Bella, as though Bella were the one trying to stop him from going shopping. Suddenly, a flash of white light streaked across the street. He rubbed his eyes. "Wow, is that the magical bus?!"

A towering, three-story bus in bright purple suddenly appeared on the road. Its headlights were on, and golden letters across its front windshield read: "Knight Bus." It looked crooked and unsteady, as though it might topple over at any moment from being too tall. It also looked stuffed to bursting, as though it might explode at any moment from having too much crammed inside.

(Tom: "That color is truly nauseating...")

It appeared out of thin air and screeched to a halt before the four of them. Before it had even stopped completely, its doors opened. Looking at the long tire marks on the ground, their curve bizarre, Tom swallowed. "Can we use another means of transportation? We could take a taxi if we have to."

"Don't worry, sir~" A brown-haired young man in thick round glasses jumped down from the bus before it had stopped moving. Momentum made him stumble across the ground, but at least he did not go flying off in a slide tackle. Once he regained his footing, he removed his hat and saluted. "Three gentlemen, and this beautiful lady. Welcome aboard the Knight Bus, emergency transportation for witches and wizards in distress. Just hold out your wand and step aboard, and we can take you anywhere you want to go. My name is Ern Prang, and I'll be your conductor tonight."

"What excellent service." Jonas praised him.

"Thank you for the compliment, sir. I must say, your glasses look very handsome!" Ern Prang grinned, and his teeth seemed to flash brightly. "Where would you like to go? As long as it's anywhere on land, we can get you there!"

"Can you go to the United States too?" Jonas asked curiously.

"Of course, though the fare and travel time would be greater."

"We're the ones taking the bus." Tom ducked past Bella, grabbed Nelson, and pulled him toward the bus. "The two of us."

"See you tonight, Aunt Bella! Uncle Jonas!" The two said their goodbyes as they climbed aboard.

"Please sit here, gentlemen." Ern Prang led them to two window seats on the second floor and asked, "Where are you headed?"

"Diagon Alley." Nelson was a little sleepy and had already started resting with his eyes closed.

"It's thirteen Silver Sickles from here to Diagon Alley. If you add three Sickles, you can get a cup of hot cocoa. If you add another Sickle to make it one Galleon, we'll also give you a pair of wool socks and a two-Sickle fare discount coupon."

"We'll have the cocoa, thank you." Nelson handed over two Galleons.

"Certainly. Would you like us to warm your socks by the boiler? I think the happiest thing every morning is putting on a pair of nice, warm wool socks."

"..." Nelson seriously met the enthusiastic conductor's gaze, hoping to tell whether he was joking or genuinely thought so. Unfortunately, he could not see much through those thick glasses. He gave up helplessly. "No, thank you."

"Alright, please wait a moment. Two cups of hot cocoa." He hummed a tune as he headed downstairs.

"Wait, Ern. Don't you lose money every time you hand out coupons like that?" A hoarse voice came from the back row.

"Sir, this is economics." The conductor's expression could not be seen behind his glasses, but Nelson felt as though he were already beaming. He cleared his throat and said seriously, "Yes, we're losing money. Losing so much that we can only live on the bus every day."

The straight quotation marks really were disgusting.