Dip the Lafite in Chocolate and Eat It

"Want me to introduce you to someone?"

The moment that message arrived, before Ye Ming could even start typing, a string of messages began flooding the screen.

"Do you remember that little girl named Fu Hua who lived next door when you were little?"

"When you were little, you were so stubborn and always got into fights with the other kids. Every time you couldn't beat them, Fu Hua would step in and take on several of them by herself."

"I remember Fu Hua was the class monitor in your class all through elementary and middle school. You were always second or third, while Fu Hua was always first."

"She's come back after finishing grad school, and she still doesn't have a boyfriend. You two were close when you were kids. Want Mom to introduce you?"

After reading the barrage of messages, Ye Ming froze for a moment.

"Fu Hua's back?"

This Fu Hua was not the Fu Hua from Honkai Gakuen, but Ye Ming's childhood sweetheart, the girl he had grown up with.

As a child, Ye Ming had been rather stubborn and often got ganged up on by other kids. He could not beat several people by himself, yet refused to admit defeat. Every time, Fu Hua had been the one to save him.

Although Fu Hua had been an adorable little girl as a child, she had been terrifyingly good at fighting. She could knock down a kid with nearly every punch, and a single hit could make someone cry for ages. She had basically been One-Punch Man.

Since Ye Ming had felt embarrassed about being saved by a girl every time, he gradually stopped arguing with people so much. Later, from elementary school through middle school, he and Fu Hua had been classmates. Fu Hua always ranked first on every exam, so she was class monitor every year. As for why Ye Ming could consistently place in the top three, Fu Hua's influence was certainly part of it.

Later, the two went to different universities. After Ye Ming graduated and entered society, Fu Hua chose to attend graduate school, and they gradually lost contact.

Incidentally, when Ye Ming first got into anime about giants in college, he had once thought that his relationship with Fu Hua resembled Eren and Mikasa's childhood relationship. Later, when Ye Ming started playing Honkai Gakuen and encountered the character Fu Hua, he had even deliberately sent Fu Hua a message on WeChat. Fu Hua had only replied with an upside-down question mark, completely extinguishing his enthusiasm.

Of course, even now, Ye Ming had never suspected that the Fu Hua he knew had anything to do with the one in the game. The reason was simple: the real Fu Hua was his childhood sweetheart, the girl who had grown up alongside him. Though pretty, she had standard black hair and black eyes.

"She's back, and she's already found a job. It's in the same city as you. What a coincidence, right?"

Ye Ming's phone began vibrating again.

"When she went home, she even came over to ask me about you. You two were so close as kids, and Mom likes her too. How about you two give dating a try?"

"She dyed her hair and started wearing makeup. She's gorgeous now."

Dyed hair? Makeup?

Ye Ming froze for a moment. It was hard for him to imagine what the top student and class monitor in his memories would look like with dyed hair.

"Forget it. Don't worry about it. We're not compatible."

After sending the message, Ye Ming waited for a while before finally receiving a reply.

"Why?"

"Because she's too flat."

Since it was his own mother, there was nothing he could not say. Ye Ming typed it out and sent it directly.

Then, for a long time, no reply came.

Just as Ye Ming thought the other side had gone offline, a message finally arrived.

"I'm sitting right next to your mom."

After a pause, another message came through.

"I've already booked a flight to City H. It leaves at eight in the morning. See you tomorrow."

Smack!

Ye Ming's hand trembled, and his phone fell onto the table.

City H was where Ye Ming lived.

Chapter 9: Eat Laffey Dipped in Chocolate

Ye Ming was extremely embarrassed.

He had never expected Fu Hua to be with his mother so late at night, much less that his mother would suggest something like, "How about you two give dating a try?" while Fu Hua was right beside her.

But honestly, while they had been in school, Ye Ming had not never imagined his childhood sweetheart becoming his girlfriend. Still, those were only occasional thoughts after finishing an anime.

The reason was simple. Even in anime, childhood sweethearts could not beat a girl who suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Let alone in real life.

In reality, childhood sweethearts who could still keep in touch after growing up were already doing well. Ye Ming had never even heard of any who ended up together.

Ye Ming and Fu Hua were the same.

Back in their student days, since their homes had been close, Ye Ming had often been looked after by the tough Fu Hua when they were little. After they started school, they went to and from school together. Whenever he had trouble with his studies, Fu Hua would patiently guide him. Whenever one of their families was out, they would mooch meals at each other's homes, and sometimes even stay overnight.

But that was all.

There had been none of those budding youthful feelings, nor any of the fanservice scenes anime loved so much—bathrooms, bedrooms, and the like.

Even after college, since they lived in different places, their contact had gradually faded. Apart from meeting when they returned home during holidays, they barely even talked on WeChat.

So, having been caught red-handed calling someone flat, Ye Ming's embarrassment was easy to imagine.

Holding his phone, he kept typing out explanations, then deleting them after finishing. He could not think of anything appropriate to say. The other side seemed to have gone offline too, and after Ye Ming agonized over it for a long time, no new messages came.

Still, avoiding the matter was definitely the worst option, and playing ostrich was not Ye Ming's style. After thinking it over, he simply typed, "What time does your flight arrive tomorrow? Which airport? I'll take leave and come pick you up?"

The message was sent, and a reply arrived quickly.

"You actually called her flat. You've got some nerve."

"She's already gone home. You don't need to pick her up tomorrow. After Fu Hua gets off the plane, she'll go straight to your place. I already gave her your address. Don't you have a two-bedroom apartment? Until she finds a place, I told her to stay with you."

"While you're at it, you two can see how things go."

"Watch what you say to her from now on."

"Don't fight back when she beats you up tomorrow."

"Actually, it's fine if you fight back. You can't beat her anyway."

His mother's messages began flooding the screen one after another.

They ended with a red packet worth ninety-nine yuan.

"Put in some effort! Mom fully supports you getting Fu Hua into bed already!"

"..."

Ye Ming silently accepted the red packet without replying.

Honestly, saying Fu Hua was too flat and therefore unsuitable had only been an excuse to reject his mother. In reality, Fu Hua was still quite well-endowed...

All right, Fu Hua was not flat, but calling her well-endowed would be a stretch too.

Besides, Ye Ming was an Azure Lane player. Anyone who had played Azure Lane understood: as a hardcore naval combat game where warships were personified, the most distinctive trait of Azure Lane players was that after playing long enough, the game warped their understanding of breasts.

Simply put, if a player's reaction to a D cup before getting into the game was usually, "Wow, those are huge," then after playing Azure Lane for a while, their reaction upon seeing a D cup became, "Huh? That's it?"

Azure Lane's breast queens included, from farther back, the aircraft carrier Illustrious, who did not dare bend down to pick up a handkerchief for fear of losing her balance; closer to home, the yandere aircraft carrier Taihou, who would say to the Commander upon their first meeting, "Would you like to eat Taihou, bathe with Taihou, or~ do shameless things with Taihou~?"; and closer still, the transport ship Kashino, who had stepped on her seniors' boobs to claim the new top spot in Azure Lane. Living in such an environment, it was only natural for a Commander's understanding of boobs to become warped.

Of course, some Commanders might simply have no interest in boobs and only like destroyers such as Laffey, Ayanami, Tashkent, and Little Javelin.

With all sorts of random thoughts spinning through his head, Ye Ming took a deep breath, shut down his computer, turned off the lights, and lay on his bed with his phone, wondering what he should do tomorrow.

The place he rented had originally been a three-bedroom apartment with a living room, kitchen, and two bathrooms. During renovations, the landlady had specifically knocked through a small bedroom and one bathroom to install an enormous bathtub. When Ye Ming had first viewed the place, the bathtub had immediately caught his eye. Since he already felt that renting a three-bedroom place alone was wasteful, he quickly signed the lease and moved in after settling the price with the landlady.

But now, if Fu Hua were coming to stay temporarily, things would be awkward.

There were only two bedrooms, but there would be three people: Ye Ming, Laffey, and Fu Hua. How should the bedrooms be assigned?

Honestly, Ye Ming was not a lolicon, but as Laffey's Commander, if there had only been one bedroom, he would not have insisted on sleeping separately from Laffey. After all, the relationship between a Commander and a Ship-Girl was what it was, and Ye Ming would not actually do anything to Laffey. But if there was an outsider who did not understand the situation, that would be inappropriate.

Should he arrange for Laffey and Fu Hua to sleep together?

To be frank, Ye Ming felt that would be a problem too.

Creak~

As Ye Ming lay in bed, frowning as he thought things over, the bedroom door suddenly creaked softly. Then it was pushed open a crack. Laffey, her fluffy white hair loose around her shoulders and dressed in pajamas, tiptoed barefoot into the room and stood beside Ye Ming's bed in the dark.

Not knowing what she was up to, Ye Ming closed his eyes and decided to pretend to be asleep, waiting to see what Laffey wanted to do.

But the next second, Laffey's bold actions startled him.

"Commander~ Commander~?"

In the dim bedroom, the little girl in loose pajamas softly called Ye Ming's title. After confirming that he was still sound asleep, she tilted her head and thought for a moment. Then her little hand gently stroked Ye Ming's cheek. She bent down and lowered her head, moving toward him with clumsy, awkward motions.

Laffey's actions startled Ye Ming so badly that he hurriedly raised a hand to cover his face. Then he pretended to have just woken up, groaned twice, and slowly opened his eyes.

"Huh? Laffey, why are you here? What's wrong? Is something the matter?"

As Ye Ming asked in feigned surprise, he raised his hand to turn on the light.

Laffey pressed down on Ye Ming's right hand.

"Don't turn on the light. It'll ruin the mood. Commander, look at me. Look at Laffey."

There was a serious note beneath the little girl's lazy voice. As she spoke, Laffey released Ye Ming's right hand, puffed out her chest, and lowered her head. Her beautiful wine-red eyes stared at him without blinking. One hand rested by her lips, while the other searched inside her pajamas for a moment before slowly pulling a gift box tied with a red ribbon from her chest.

"Commander~, would you like to eat this box of chocolate~, eat Laffey~, or..."