No One Understands Being the Villain Better Than Me
Chapter 7

Laughing So Hard His Abs Hurt, Laughing Himself Stronger

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Laws were not meant to embody "tolerance and benevolence," but rather to pursue "relative fairness."

Whether it was the Code of Hammurabi or the Code of Ur-Nammu, both upheld a bloody concept—"lex talionis."

That was, equal retribution in the vein of "an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth."

To Gilgamesh, the Immortal Herb was equivalent to gaining a second life. It was also the miracle he had sought for Uruk after countless hardships.

Yet through one moment of carelessness, this snake had devoured his hope of rebirth!

Even though the Heroic King had entered middle age and transformed from a willful, cruel Tyrant into a wise ruler,

Gilgamesh was not magnanimous enough to forgive this guilty snake out of some tedious saintly compassion.

Based on the principle of "lex talionis," even if the Heroic King stewed the thief who had stolen the Immortal Herb, it would not have been excessive.

What was more, since this fellow had chosen to seek survival through the law, it needed to consider being held accountable by the owner.

That was what fairness meant.

Of course, a certain wise king would never admit it.

He was doing this partly because he had taken an interest in seeing how this long worm would struggle in utter despair.

Delight, oh delight. Once someone tasted that flavor, they could never get enough.

As the blades of swords, spears, and halberds closed in inch by inch, Gilgamesh, divided by light and shadow, curled his lips into an amused smile.

"Enkidu!"

Seeing the scales all over his body being sliced and worn away by the leaking edge of the weapons, while the single blade of grass tying his life together could snap at any moment,

Lin Xian had no time to organize his words. The Serpent Eyes in his gaze contracted sharply as he opened his mouth and spat out the key word that might save his life.

However, the moment those words were spoken, the Heroic King—who had been sitting leisurely on the throne with one leg crossed over the other, his right arm supporting his chin and a faintly pleased expression on his face—underwent a sudden change in demeanor.

Amid shrill tearing sounds, the might of thunderous axes and polearms swept across the air.

A massive sword shaped like demon wings, along with two Divine Constructs resembling broad, double-edged horse-cutting swords and covered in Cuneiform Runes, barely grazed past Lin Xian's sides.

The cutting force of the terrifying wind pressure raged through him. Lin Xian's scales shattered in patches, and his body, merely brushed by that power, erupted into a cloud of blood mist.

The pain was like having his flesh flayed open. Lin Xian's eyes bulged as his slender body trembled and convulsed.

Boom! Boom!

Two deep trenches were plowed across the wilderness. The violent airwaves uprooted fir trees within a hundred-meter radius, while dirt and stones rained down.

"Who allowed you to call his name directly, mongrel?!"

Gilgamesh no longer looked relaxed. His expression darkened, blood energy surged within his scarlet eyes, and his cold whisper carried pure, domineering killing intent.

As the proud and willful Heroic King, Enkidu could be called the only friend he had ever truly acknowledged.

After his closest friend had withered away under the gods' curse, that name had become Gilgamesh's greatest taboo.

If this snake did not provide a reasonable explanation, he would not mind showing the side of himself that had once been a Tyrant.

Just as the unjustly caught-up Lin Xian was barely clinging to life, the phantom of a red-and-green plant resembling a Camel Thorn emerged from the Primordial Serpent's abdomen, spreading its flowers and leaves.

Then ripples spread. Under layer after layer of washing light, the overturned scales and torn wounds on the snake's surface healed rapidly.

Fortunately, the Immortal Herb that had entered his body had taken effect.

Otherwise, he would have had to suffer for a while longer.

The moment Lin Xian regained his strength, he let out a hurried hiss and blurted out the rest of his explanation in one breath.

"King Gilgamesh, I had no intention of offending your beloved friend!"

"On the contrary, after consuming the Immortal Herb, I had a very long dream. My consciousness vaguely glimpsed some blurry scenes."

"In the near future, you will have the good fortune to reunite with your beloved friend, Enkidu."

"This is the congratulatory gift I offer you!"

After a brief deathly silence, the crushing pressure hanging over Lin Xian's head slowly withdrew.

This criminal, whose nerves had been stretched taut, seemed to have had his spine pulled out as he slumped weakly to the ground.

Gilgamesh's face remained indifferent. His brow furrowed and relaxed intermittently, concealing all emotion beneath that pride and making it impossible to guess his true thoughts.

"O King, you possess the Thousand-Mile Eye that foresees the future. Lies cannot deceive your senses."

Lin Xian spoke cautiously, providing evidence for his claim.

Ancient heroes who possessed divine bloodlines often had varying degrees of foresight, and Gilgamesh was among the finest of them.

Although the precognitive ability known as the Thousand-Mile Eye could not clearly and accurately see the details of future events,

it was more than enough to vaguely sense the likelihood of certain things occurring.

"So your so-called thirtyfold compensation is this unverifiable piece of news?"

After a moment, Gilgamesh, who seemed to have fallen into thought, slowly opened his eyes and sneered with pursed lips.

Phew! The hardest hurdle was already over.

If I wanted to live, I had to stay steady!

Lin Xian took a deep breath, calmed his emotions, cast aside distracting thoughts, and raised his head with a pure and earnest tone.

"The Immortal Herb is indeed priceless."

"And the bond between Lord Enkidu and you is even more impossible to measure with any wealth in this world."

"Offering gold, silver, and jewels would only tarnish the friendship between you and Lord Enkidu. All I can do is trade something priceless for something priceless!"

"Besides, I believe that in your heart, the value of this friendship exceeds that of a mere Immortal Herb by far more than thirty times!"

The corners of Gilgamesh's lips gradually lifted into a pleased curve before he finally burst into hearty laughter, his abs faintly aching as he even wanted to use the clay tablet at hand to record this joyous event.

"Hahahaha! Interesting! Truly fascinating!"

"I actually have the urge to bring you into my court, raise you there, and appoint you Chief Justice of Uruk."

Then the Heroic King pressed both hands against the throne and rose, stretching his muscles.

"Since you have brought this king delight twice, I will pardon your crime of theft."

"Rejoice, mongrel!"

The Sword of Damocles hanging above his head had finally been removed. Lin Xian came back to his senses, and the joy of surviving a calamity welled up in his heart.

However, before Lin Xian could fully catch his breath, magical storms swept together from all around.

Under Lin Xian's dumbfounded gaze, Gilgamesh drew a strange sword-shaped weapon covered in red-and-black patterns from the vortex connected to the Treasury of Babylon.

This thing lacked a blade in the usual sense. Its head was not pointed, and its round, truncated-cone body was divided into three sections that rotated in opposite directions around the hilt.

"King Gilgamesh, you have already pardoned me, haven't you?"

Lin Xian's body stiffened, his voice dry.

"That is correct. The evil of your theft has already been forgiven..."

A strange smile hung on Gilgamesh's upturned lips as the Divine Construct known as the Gouging Sword slowly lowered.

"But offending a sovereign, twisting the law with honeyed words, bewitching the hearts of men..."

"You have not yet paid for these..."

"Therefore, this king hereby declares: you shall be exiled to the place where you belong, and from this day onward, you shall be stripped of your status as a free man!"

The Heroic King spoke with amused deliberation, his words revealing a trace of mocking insight that saw through people's hearts.

A free man? You were no longer one.

At the same time, the space around Lin Xian was torn apart by vast divine power. The formed pitch-black vortex swallowed the guilty snake whole.

When the storm subsided, Gilgamesh casually returned the Gouging Sword that had torn open the world's barrier to the Treasury of Babylon.

Standing in the wilderness, the Heroic King then bent down and picked up the Snake Molt left behind by that little thing after it had secretly eaten the Immortal Herb beside the hot spring, winding it around his fingers as he played with it.

In the end, his scarlet eyes looked meaningfully toward the sky overhead.

Have you finally lost patience?

At the same time, within a dim, deathly silent space, a black turbid current surged and swirled, while tower-like Spear Cages lit by ghostly blue flames lined both banks.

The golden, graceful figure constructing these special containers as diligently as a little bee seemed to sense something. She raised her head slightly, bent down, stretched out her arm, and scooped up a handful of river water from the turbid current.

And... an unconscious snake.

End of Chapter
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