At the foot of Mount Buzhou, the lingering Dao aura had yet to disperse.
Sect Master Tongtian felt the surging perfected Hunyuan Golden Immortal mana within him, as well as the Qiankun Cauldron in his palm, which exuded a Dao aura capable of suppressing the heavens. Heroic spirit and gratitude intertwined in his heart as he bowed deeply to Xuan Wazi once more. This bow was utterly sincere, given in gratitude for the guidance that had awakened him and for the treasured gift.
Xuan Wazi accepted it calmly, wearing a "kindly" smile and looking like a proud elder brother watching his younger brother come of age. Just as he was about to offer a few more words of encouragement and reinforce his lofty image as the "eldest senior brother," that familiar, infuriating notification sounded in his mind like a death knell, interrupting his urge to show off.
[Ding! The prerequisite conditions for the key plot point, "the Three Pure Ones establishing their sects," have been triggered. Tongtian has comprehended the Dao, reached Hunyuan perfection, and the opportunity to establish his sect is close at hand. Ripples have arisen in the workings of the Heavenly Dao, and waves are stirring in the river of fate!] [Urgent, time-limited epic chain mission issued: Obstruct the Dao of the Four Saints, and Xuan Wazi Shall Hold the Pass!] [Phase One Mission: Delay Eldest Senior Brother! Second Senior Brother, and the two baldies from the West... the two Buddhist cultivators.] [Mission requirement: After Tongtian establishes his sect and proves his Dao, find every possible way to delay the time at which Supreme Clarity Laozi, Yuqing Primordial Heavenly Venerate, and Western Jieyin and Zhunti prove their Dao and become Saints. The longer the delay and the more spectacular the "accidents" created, the richer the rewards! Remember, delay them, do not stop them. After all, you cannot stop them even if you tried. The key is to create trouble and increase the difficulty and cost of their sainthood!] [Mission rewards: Basic reward—Innate Supreme Treasure ×1 (random, but guaranteed not to be defective)! Great Dao Enlightenment Tea ×99 cubic meters! Cultivation empowerment, directly advancing to the initial stage of Primordial Grand Unity Golden Immortal!] [Additional rewards: Based on the actual length of delay and the degree of "trouble" caused, additional massive Unfilial Points (no upper limit) and mysterious special items will be awarded, including but not limited to bizarre divine abilities, trickster artifacts, special titles, and more!] [Failure penalty: None. The system adheres to the principle of encouragement above all else. However, the host will perfectly miss this excellent opportunity to reap Heavenly Dao Merit and Unfilial Points on a massive scale, and to tease... ahem, to engage in deep exchanges with future Saint Daoist friends and forge "profound friendships"! Whether Hongjun will have to pick at his feet in Zixiao Palace for tens of thousands of years or several epochs depends entirely on the host's actions. As for the scale of the loss, please experience it for yourself!]
Xuan Wazi stared at the glittering rewards on the virtual panel before him, especially "initial stage Primordial Grand Unity Golden Immortal" and "Innate Supreme Treasure." His breathing grew heavier, his eyes widened like bronze bells, and the corners of his mouth nearly stretched to his ears. A Primordial Grand Unity Golden Immortal! That was true transcendence—beyond the Three Realms and outside the Five Elements, untouched by karma, unwearied by tribulations, and free to enjoy absolute ease! With an Innate Supreme Treasure that combined offense and defense, he, Xuan Wazi, would be able to swagger sideways through the Primordial World!
This temptation was enough to drive any cultivator mad!
Yet when his burning gaze swept over "Great Dao Enlightenment Tea ×99 cubic meters," the wild delight on his face instantly froze, as if someone had splashed him with a basin of chilled River of Forgetfulness water. His expression became utterly marvelous, filled with bewilderment, astonishment, and the absurd feeling of Are you fucking kidding me?
"Wait! Wait! System Bro!" Xuan Wazi suppressed the urge to roar as he ranted wildly in his heart. "Was your reward list contaminated by Luo Hou's demonic aura? Or did water get into your processing core? An Innate Supreme Treasure, no problem! A cultivation increase, that's a core reward! But what the hell is with these ninety-nine cubic meters of Great Dao Enlightenment Tea?! Are you planning to make me switch careers and open a chain of tea houses in the Primordial World, then ascend to the peak of life? Set up stalls at immortal mountains, blessed lands, and the entrances to grotto-heavens, with a sign saying, 'Xuan Wazi's Holy Father Special—Great Dao Enlightenment Tea. One cup refreshes the mind, two cups banish fatigue forever, three cups grant immortality'? Then shout at everyone, 'Daoist friend, please stay! Come see our newly arrived Enlightenment Tea! Brew a pot and inspiration gushes forth like a spring; drink a cup and enlightenment bursts out like piss! Wholesale prices are even better, and buy a hundred jin to receive Holy Father's personal signature plus a copy of his insights on being an Unfilial Son!'"
He could practically see that bizarre scene already: wearing the halo of the "Holy Father," with a Hunyuan Dao Fruit above his head, yet sitting behind a stall fragrant with tea, haggling with little demons and minor immortals over a few taels of tea leaves... This style was simply eye-searing! Did he even want the image he had painstakingly built as a "mysterious expert," "Holy Father," and "chief seat of Zixiao Palace" anymore?!
[Ding! It has been detected that the host has displayed immense... misunderstanding and shallow awareness toward the system's carefully prepared, deeply meaningful strategic reward package!] The system's voice immediately rang out, its tone carrying exaggerated grievance and intense disappointment. [Host! Vision! Your vision must be as vast and boundless as Chaos itself! As the saying goes, "A minor recluse hides in the wilderness; a great recluse hides in the marketplace." How could ordinary cultivators possibly fathom the behavioral patterns of a true peerless expert? With your unconventional nature, your disregard for appearances, and your talent for spotting business opportunities... ahem, your extraordinary character of making use of every resource, what is wrong with working part-time as the Primordial World's general tea distributor? Does that not perfectly suit your "down-to-earth" Holy Father image? Perhaps you can even use this chance to forge an unprecedented new cultivation system of "entering the Dao through tea" and "the Tea Dao reaching heaven," becoming the founding ancestor of the Primordial World tea arts world and earning the admiration of all living beings!]
The system paused, then continued painting the picture in an enticing tone. "Think about it, Host! Your left hand wields the God-Slaying Spear to intimidate petty villains and preserve the peace of the Primordial World—your own peace, that is; your right hand holds a purple clay teapot to forge good ties and spread the great Dao of the Unfilial Son! The civil and martial Dao, tension and release—your prestige would be maxed out instantly. How harmonious, how down-to-earth! Is ninety-nine cubic meters really that much? This system simply believes in your limitless business potential and... uh, social potential, so it prepared sufficient startup capital for you in advance! What if you really grow this tea business and monopolize the high-end beverage market in the Primordial World? Then establish a 'Tea Dao Alliance,' go public... no, get onto the Heavenly Dao Merit rankings. Wouldn't that happen in minutes? Merit, fortune, connections—they would come rolling in!"
"Go screw yourself!" Xuan Wazi felt even his Dao heart tremble, and he nearly failed to maintain the "kindly" expression on his face. "Founding ancestor of tea arts? Get onto the Heavenly Dao Merit rankings? I think your CPU... uh, your spiritual-core calculations have overloaded and fried your brain! You crappy system, instead of thinking about legitimate work all day, you keep coming up with crooked schemes! I am a dignified perfected Hunyuan Golden Immortal, the publicly acknowledged Holy Father of the human race, an exalted being destined to achieve Primordial Grand Unity. And you want me to set up a stall selling tea? If word gets out, what will Sister Nuwa think? What will Tongtian, who just proved his Dao... uh, who is about to prove his Dao, think? What will the billions of beings in the Primordial World think? Hong Yun and Zhen Yuanzi are still right beside me! Do I even want my old face anymore?!"
[Ding! Please face your core strengths and glorious past achievements!] The system refused to yield, its tone even carrying a touch of righteous confidence. [Think carefully about your brilliant record—during the Dragon-Han Initial Tribulation, you fished in muddy waters. During the Dao-Devil War, you snatched Luo Hou's supreme treasure, resulting in cultivators now having to undergo heart-demon and heavenly-demon tribulations. Among the three thousand mortal guests of Zixiao Palace, you seized the chief seat. On the battlefield between the witches and demons, you picked up spoils with precision. You cleverly seized... ah no, reasonably acquired the gourd vine without even sparing its leaves. You fooled... no, guided Nuwa into creating humanity, mooched off the merit, and became the Holy Father. And just now, you "guided" Tongtian in comprehending the Dao, generously gifting him the Qiankun Cauldron to bind karma... May this system ask, Host, which one of these deeds is something a proper Hunyuan mighty figure should do?] The system's tone suddenly became patient and persuasive. [Host, face reality. Your "image" had long since ceased to have anything to do with the word "proper"! Compared with your great exploits, selling tea is simply a charitable enterprise under the sun, a legal and compliant honest business! It is full of positive energy!]
"Proper my ass!" Xuan Wazi roared inwardly, feeling that if he continued bickering with this system, he would suffer qi deviation before anyone else could.
[Besides,] the system changed tack and added in a sleazy tone, [with your invincible thick skin, your Flowers Falling from Heaven persuasive skills, your sharp instincts for accurately grasping "business opportunities," and your flashes of creative brilliance whenever you act like an Unfilial Son, refusing to engage in cross-industry marketing would be an enormous loss to the entire Primordial World business community and even... exchange community! This system calls it precise positioning and making the best use of talent! Rest assured, when the time comes, this system will definitely tailor a "peerless tea-selling beauty" virtual skin for you. It will have a sweet, bone-melting voice and breathtaking beauty, guaranteeing that Daoist friends and seniors flock here like clouds, bringing in riches... no, allowing your Enlightenment Tea to forge good ties far and wide and bring in merit by the cartload!]
"A peerless tea-selling beauty?!" Xuan Wazi nearly spat out a mouthful of blood. "I'm a man! A pure one! A straight one! Does your crappy system have some unknown special fetish?! Just wait. Once I complete this mission and become a Primordial Grand Unity Golden Immortal, the first thing I'll do is dismantle you and see whether some perverted Chaos Demon God remnant soul is living inside!"
[Oh my, Host, please calm down, calm down! It was only a joke, purely a joke! Just livening up the tense atmosphere!] The system knew when to stop, though the amusement in its tone remained infuriating. [But seriously, this Great Dao Enlightenment Tea is indeed produced by a Chaos Spiritual Root and possesses extraordinary effects. Even if you do not use it yourself, it is an unbeatable divine tool for giving favors, trading for treasures, winning over... no, befriending Daoist friends, gathering intelligence, or even "easing the atmosphere" and "numbing opponents" at critical moments! It is absolutely worth every bit of its value, guaranteed fair for young and old alike! This system guarantees it with its billions of years of system integrity! Go carry out the mission with confidence, Host. The rewards are absolutely real and reliable—if fake, compensation will be tenfold!]
Before you continue