The Pig in a Wig

Considering the Dursley family's house was not very far away, Harry and Hagrid chose the nine-Sickle package, skipping the hot cocoa, towels, and toothbrushes.

The Knight Bus was incredibly fast—far faster than any Muggle mode of transportation—and every obstacle in its path moved aside to either side. It was both very safe and very magical.

In less than twenty minutes, Harry arrived at the Dursley family's doorstep.

"I won't walk you in," Hagrid said. "After all, I still need to report back to Dumbledore."

"Okay, Hagrid." Harry rested one hand on Hedwig's cage. "Have a safe trip. See you at Hogwarts."

"See you at Hogwarts." Hagrid smiled and waved at Harry.

In the blink of an eye, the Knight Bus vanished from Harry's sight.

The sky was still bright. London sat at a relatively high latitude, and in July, it would not grow completely dark until nearly half past seven.

The Dursley family had not gone to sleep either. After everything that had happened during the day, Petunia and Vernon had been discussing what to do ever since Harry left. They even ignored Dudley as he paced back and forth before them in his Smeltings uniform, trying to get their attention.

Bored out of his mind, Dudley sat by the door. The moment he saw Harry suddenly appear, his fat face immediately twisted into a malicious expression.

Whenever he was in a bad mood before, he would take it out on Harry and bully him mercilessly.

Now that his punching bag had returned, Dudley felt it was necessary to give him a proper greeting.

He seemed to have completely forgotten what had happened today.

"Hi, Dudley." Seeing Dudley approach with ill intent, Harry did not mind at all. "Please help me carry this luggage inside."

"Oh? Is that so?" Dudley cracked his knuckles. "What if I say no?"

"You will." Harry's tone was certain as he pointed at Dudley's backside. "If you want that pig tail to disappear—oh, right. Didn't someone once say that you look exactly like a pig wearing a wig?"

After saying that, Harry remembered that he had come up with that nickname for Dudley before going to the Victorian era.

Because he... really did look far too much like one.

Dudley reached behind himself and touched it, only then realizing in shock that, at some point, a pig tail had grown from his backside.

"Harry Potter!" Dudley's face turned purple, exactly like his father Vernon's.

Feeling humiliated, he spread his arms and lunged at Harry.

Harry smoothly drew the wand from his robe and cast a small jinx at him.

"Y-you... what did you do to me?" Dudley screamed in terror, his body starting to dance against his will.

He wanted to stop, but he could not.

"Tarantella Dance. Just a little spell." Harry admired Dudley's dancing, one arm resting on Hedwig's cage. "Hedwig, if you've never seen a pig dance, then you're in for a treat."

"Hoot, hoo~" Hedwig called twice in reply.

"Make me stop!" Dudley shouted frantically. "Father, Mother! Help me! Help!"

His shouting was indeed effective. The Dursleys, who had been discussing countermeasures, heard their precious son calling for help and abandoned their conversation at once, running out of the house one after the other.

"Dudders, darling!" Aunt Petunia cried out as she rushed forward and hugged Dudley.

However, her thin frame could not hold Dudley down at all. He continued dancing on his own.

Uncle Vernon, meanwhile, charged straight at Harry. His face purple with rage, he glared furiously at him.

"You, what, did you, do to my, son?!"

"Helped him lose weight." Harry spread his hands indifferently.

Uncle Vernon's tiny eyes narrowed. Then he pointed at Harry, about to burst into a torrent of curses.

Just as Harry was considering whether to give him a spell as well, he saw Vernon suddenly glance around before displaying a look of relief.

Was he checking whether Hagrid was here? Harry wondered.

But he was wrong. Uncle Vernon suddenly said, "You, stop your tricks immediately! Come back inside with me!"

"What about all my luggage?" Harry pointed at the bags beside him.

"I'll carry it inside for you!" Uncle Vernon said viciously.

"Thank you, Uncle Vernon." Harry gave Vernon a Gentleman's Bow, then wagged one finger at Dudley. Dudley immediately stopped moving, and the pig tail vanished with it.

Uncle Vernon wore the expression of someone who had swallowed a pound of flies. He shot Harry a vicious glare, picked up the largest and heaviest piece of Harry's luggage, and hurried into the house without looking back, as though fleeing from some plague.

Seeing Dudley about to go inside as well, Harry spoke up. "Dudley, please take this parcel inside for me."

The parcel was not large, but Harry was more than happy to order Dudley around.

Dudley sniffled, then reluctantly walked over and took the parcel from Harry's hand.

Once inside, Harry habitually started toward the cupboard under the stairs, only for Uncle Vernon to suddenly say, "Your room is upstairs—I mean, your aunt and I considered that you've grown up, and it isn't suitable for you to keep living in the cupboard. From now on, Dudley's other bedroom will be yours."

"Why?" Harry raised an eyebrow.

"Don't ask why!" Uncle Vernon roared angrily.

Harry remembered that bedroom. Heaven knew how badly he had wanted to live in it before. It was supposedly Dudley's bedroom, but in reality, it was an unused room piled full of things Dudley no longer wanted.

Upon hearing that decision, Dudley looked as though he had been struck by a bolt from the blue.

He immediately began crying and making a scene. "No, that's my room! I don't want him moving in! Father! Mother! Make him move out! He's not allowed into my room!"

"Do you still want to keep dancing, Duddums?!" Aunt Petunia's voice was very low, but her tone was stern.

This was the first time Harry had heard Aunt Petunia speak to Dudley in such a severe tone.

"Listen, boy." Uncle Vernon reached out and grabbed Harry by the collar, warning him in an unfriendly tone, "I don't care what tricks you've learned, and I don't expect you to be grateful for all the years your aunt and I raised you. I only hope that when you play your little tricks, you won't let the neighbors find out there's a freak in our house. Understand?"

Harry understood. So that was what Uncle Vernon was afraid of.

The neighbors finding out there was a freak in the house—

"One thousand pounds." Harry didn't mind being grabbed by the collar. Minors weren't allowed to use magic outside school anyway, so there was nothing to lose.

Uncle Vernon took a deep breath.

"Five hundred!"

"Deal." Harry held out his hand.

Uncle Vernon released Harry's collar, gave him a long look, then reached out and shook his hand, sealing the deal.

"I hope you'll keep your word," he said.

Seeing this, Dudley copied him. "No, if I'm moving out of my room, I want one thousand pounds too!"

Uncle Vernon suddenly felt exhausted. He said to Dudley, "Five hundred pounds."

Dudley looked at Harry.

"Ask for half again," Harry said.

Dudley nodded and said to Vernon, "Two hundred and fifty."

"Deal!" Uncle Vernon agreed, afraid he might be too slow.

Harry pressed a hand to his forehead and sighed.