Depression

I do not know if you all understand anything about the psychological illness known as depression.

In this impoverished monk's view, if a depressed person can walk out of their predicament, it is a tremendous stroke of destiny.

Recalling back then, after suffering emotional setbacks and physical disability, I too had thoughts of giving up on myself.

It probably has to do with my personality; I am the kind of competitor where the lower my trough, the easier it is to spark a rebellious spirit in me.

Simply put, I fucking refuse to yield.

For Laozi to be born into this world is an immensely awesome matter! When life was first conceived, that was hundreds of millions of living entities fighting for a single embryo.

If even this can be snatched by Laozi, and I ultimately descend safely into this world, brother, you tell me whether I am awesome or not?

Then aren't you also brought here by that kind of awesomeness?

Since you've already come, play a while longer. You have to leave sooner or later—what's wrong with leaving a little later? What are you rushing so much for?

If your heart hurts, treat your heart; if your ass hurts, treat your ass.

You, such an awesome figure, can you really let yourself be driven half to death by things?

Do not think depression is some severe thing. Go look it up online; basically everyone has it, with only the difference of severity.

It is just a toy that everyone has to play with, what is there to obsess over? The more you obsess, the more miserable you feel.

No matter how severe you are, to the point where sometimes you even want to say bye-bye—haven't you ever thought about it? You aren't even afraid of bye-bye, yet you are afraid of living?

What are you cowards for? You are not living for others. Whatever those people fucking want to say, let them say it! If you don't like listening, curse them out! Who cares who they are!

There is no need to ponder how this one thinks of you or how that one thinks of you! Those are all things we think up ourselves when we have nothing better to do.

Find something you like doing. Screw whoever the fuck, I do whatever makes me happy. What fucking good is this or bad is that? I will do whatever I please, I am fucking not living for you! In the words of your big brother, you tell me I should do this, you tell me I should do that—what, you fucking take me for an idiot? Total moron!

Do not be afraid once you get depression, big brother tells you: as long as you can conquer yourself and walk out of this predicament, you are a god!

Depression is the fucking fastest way to cultivate immortality. If you don't believe it, look at those people who walked out of depression—which one of them doesn't look like they underwent a rebirth and transformation?

Things that couldn't be crossed before, things that couldn't be endured—once you walk out of them, they are all farts, nothing is a big deal!

My philosophy of cultivating immortality is that under any circumstances, nothing is a big deal. If a friend kicks the bucket, they kicked the bucket; remember the friend's kindness.

If a dog dies, it dies; I will give it rites to transcend. What is there that cannot be crossed? What is there to worry and fuss about? When we say we think so much, isn't it just because our hearts are too kind? Isn't it just because being too kind makes us easy to hurt?

Big brother teaches you to cultivate immortality. If you are afraid of dealing with people, we simply won't deal with them; come cultivate immortality and play with big brother.

With big brother around, what are you afraid of? Big brother is someone who can even defeat his own thought patterns; big brother teaches you to conquer yourself and master yourself.

If you say you find so-and-so annoying, that so-and-so is influencing you, big brother will just teach you how to use the laws of human nature to defeat them.

You are all godlike people just like big brother, what are you making a fuss about in your own minds? Come out, and mess around in a happy direction with me.

To this day, big brother is still like a child; in his thirties, when bored, I still ride children's toy cars. Uh, it seems I am past thirty, I do not even keep track of these things.

I always treat myself as being in my twenties, playing however makes me happy. Thinking too much is just torturing yourself, you silly goose? What are you thinking about those for?

Hurry up and get better! Do not feel like everything is meaningless; that is just because you haven't met me. Playing with me makes everything meaningful.

Do you know how awesome I am? When I couldn't beat people at video games, I would sneakily go take a dump at their place, and sometimes even bring a pack of explosives to blow them up. Hahaha.

No help for it, if I can't beat them, I will undermine them.

Big brother can also sing, and very charmingly at that. Every time big brother picks up the microphone, I feel like I instantly transform into an affectionate little prince; I simply must sing one or two people to tears, otherwise it won't show just how awesome I am.

I am the kind of person who drinks the wine of today today, and figures out wine tomorrow when tomorrow comes. My main theme is screw whoever.

I thoroughly understand the state of feeling like nothing is interesting, feeling exceptionally lost and miserable, and feeling like everything lacks meaning.

Hanging out with big brother makes things interesting. Whoever bullies you, I will take you to the roof of their house in the middle of the night to drop a deuce. Fuck, drop one splash in the first half of the night, and two splashes in the second half of the night. Before we go, we must down a bowl of not-so-clean spicy hot pot—if you don't get diarrhea, big brother will count it as me spoiling you!

With big brother here, what are you afraid of? Afraid of ghosts? I eat ghosts. Afraid of gods? I catch gods. If you don't believe it, go out and ask around: which little brother or little sister hanging out with me do I not protect like a hen guarding her chicks.

That legendary kind of protective mother-hen energy is precisely describing a person like me.

Mortals, you need not fear. Ghosts and gods need not be feared either, nor those who practice Buddhism, practice Dao, or those spirit-mediums and fox-shamans—none of them need be feared, big brother can lock horns with all of them.

Don't go telling me about the immortals behind them being dragons, or the immortals behind them being whatever—fuck! Go ask Brother Jesus if he is afraid of me, that settles it.

Dare to act fresh with me and even Jesus cannot keep him, I said so! With a single Five-Thunder Spell I'll blast his ancestral graves till they fucking smoke.

In short, just stick with Big Brother. If things don't go well, look for the reason in yourself. Hahaha.

Do not feel like life has so much pressure, sigh, what fucking else is pressing down on you until you can't breathe. Can you fart? If you can fart, that just means we still have plenty of breath, so speak fewer of those deflating words.

Come read along with big brother: "I am the fucking most awesome, I was awesome to begin with, and I've been used to being awesome since I was a kid! Just because ordinary people can't do things doesn't mean I can't do them, because I am fucking not an ordinary person! Screw whoever the fuck!"

Don't go telling big brother how miserable you are, and then burning yourself with cigarettes or cutting your arms with things—it's not like big brother didn't do that stuff in his youth and frivolous days, what kind of skill is that?

When big brother takes you to other people's roofs to drop a deuce, then you think about it: who wasn't it good to bully? Bullying ourselves, isn't that a total fucking moron?

You just remember! There is no turd that cannot resolve a problem; if there is, then drop a few more turds.

What was that saying again? Life is more than just the immediate dogshit, there is also the shit we drop on other people's houses. Hehe, just stinking them up is enough. Haha.

Family members, friends, strangers—whoever the fuck wants to say whatever, does what they say delay us from shitting or farting?

If I like listening I'll listen, if I don't like listening it's all just air.

We strive constantly to improve, our spirit and vigor are unmatched by anyone. Even though we haven't made much of ourselves right now, we must not look down upon ourselves.

In this world, there are only three people worth your admiration: one is your dad, and one is your mom, because these two created life for us.

The third is ourselves, because we were born carrying an aura of awesomeness.

We aren't even afraid of death, could we possibly be afraid of living? What is there that we cannot do? What is there that cannot be accomplished?

If it hasn't been accomplished yet, it's just because we haven't studied earnestly or thought and acted earnestly! Once we get earnest, casually pulling off a few miracles or whatever is an absolute breeze.

Little brother or little sister, do you know what you are lacking right now? What you lack is the same awesome courage as big brother! If you don't have it, if you feel you can't cut it, then open your mouth and big brother will blow a few breaths into you (restricted to little sisters, ha). Don't mind big brother's stinky mouth, oh! Big brother is a competitor who brushes his teeth on time, if it really does smell, maybe big brother ate stinky tofu so please don't mind. Haha. Cheer up! Such a fine god and you refuse to act like one, what fucking pretense are you putting on!