No Butthole?

"Eat this, you damn idiot!"

In the past, Lu Fan would have picked up his tray and left without a word, but now that he had returned to normal, how could he endure such extreme humiliation?

Lu Fan remembered that his meal card was in that auntie's hands. His Aunt deposited quite a lot of money onto it every month. She had handed the card to her because she was afraid his classmates would trick him out of it.

Afraid he would go hungry, Aunt loaded more meal money onto his card every month than any other student had. He could eat freely at any serving window in every cafeteria.

At that thought, Lu Fan instantly flew into a rage. He grabbed his tray and smashed it directly against the glass of the serving window.

In an instant, rice and cabbage splattered all over the glass. The commotion drew the attention of everyone in the cafeteria.

"My Aunt puts five thousand yuan onto my meal card every month, and this is what you give me to eat? Where's my meal card? Have you been embezzling my money every month?"

Lu Fan's furious roar instantly attracted everyone's attention. The auntie serving food changed expression, forcibly suppressing her anger as she picked up the tray and gave him another generous portion. This time, there was meat, and the serving was even bigger than everyone else's.

"You can eat whatever you want, but don't spout nonsense. You ate all the money on your meal card yourself. It has nothing to do with me."

"Bullshit! The dishes at our school cost two yuan each, and a serving of rice costs one yuan. You give me this stuff every day. Didn't you steal the rest of the money?"

The serving auntie had never expected Lu Fan to seem like a completely different person today, stubbornly refusing to let the matter go. Her huge face, as red as a braised pig's head, could no longer maintain its composure.

"You damn idiot, don't falsely accuse a good person! If I embezzled your money, then may my daughter-in-law give birth to a child with no butthole!"

"You really didn't embezzle it?"

Lu Fan froze, remembering the bug in his system. He did not know whether those words counted as deceiving him.

"Of course I didn't! You eat here freely three times a day. You used up all the money on your meal card yourself."

"Oh! I believe you. So I ate all the money on my meal card myself."

Lu Fan nodded solemnly, picked up his tray, and left. Mainly because he was starving beyond endurance. Not only had he skipped breakfast, but last night he had only had a bowl of porridge and a few bits of pickled vegetables.

The surrounding students watching the show were disappointed. They had practically set out their little stools and prepared their sunflower seeds, ready to enjoy the spectacle of an idiot wreaking havoc in the cafeteria. Yet at the critical moment, the idiot had gone stupid again and been fooled away with a single sentence.

Lu Fan casually found a seat and sat down. The surrounding students scattered with a boom as though they had seen the plague.

Everyone knew this idiot did not eat properly and often tossed food everywhere. Who would dare sit with him while eating?

Lu Fan did not care what others thought. With food before him, he had long since reached the point of unbearable hunger. He picked up his chopsticks and started shoveling food into his mouth.

The serving auntie's phone rang. Seeing that it was her son calling, she did not think much of it and casually turned on the speakerphone. She continued serving food while chatting with her son.

"What is it, son? Mom's busy right now."

"Mom, Xiaoyan gave birth... She gave birth!"

"What? Isn't she only seven months along?"

"The doctor said it was premature, and... because of the premature birth, my son's organs didn't develop properly. He didn't develop a butthole at all. The doctor said they need to operate and cut one open, or your grandson won't live past a month!"

"What?"

The serving auntie froze. Even the ladle in her hand fell to the floor.

The students outside the window were stunned as well. A baby boy born without a butthole? Could something that bizarre really exist?

Even the other cafeteria aunties beside her stopped what they were doing in shock. Everyone stared at her dumbfoundedly.

Lu Fan ate while wearing a vacant, idiotic expression. His appearance once again drew laughter from the surrounding students.

"He's so handsome and his family is rich too. What a pity he's an idiot."

"Exactly. If he weren't stupid, someone would be willing to have his babies."

"Li Gang, can you not say that while people are eating? You're a damn man, okay?"

"Tch, maybe he likes men."

Li Gang, the burly man who had spoken, raised a hand in a coquettish pose. His bearded face and flirtatious expression made the surrounding students nauseous.

"This is absurd. Auntie Li's son just called while she was serving food. Her daughter-in-law had a premature baby boy, but he was born without a butthole."

"She probably did too many bad things. Every time Auntie Li serves food, she acts like she has Parkinson's, shaking so hard she wants to shake every drop of oil out of the dishes."

"Otherwise, why would the students call her Spin Dryer? She could probably spin every drop of water out of clothes."

Lu Fan's body trembled when he heard that. He remembered his Never Be Deceived System, and with a vacant expression, he checked the system panel in his mind.

Sure enough, he discovered something different.

Host: Lu Fan

Title: World's Biggest Idiot

Times Deceived: 2

Points Owned: 2

He clearly remembered that the data he had seen by the roadside before had all been zero. In other words, it had gone up by two points just during the time he was eating.

Thinking back to what had just happened, he instantly understood the trick behind it.

"Looks like Qin Shousheng and the serving auntie both deceived me, so my points increased by two. Then, because I have the Never Be Deceived bug, Auntie Liu's oath when she deceived me came true."

Thinking of all this, Lu Fan felt a surge of excitement. For the first twenty years of his life, he had drifted through in a muddle. After his parents died, he had been cheated out of his entire inheritance. His younger sister had turned against him, and only Aunt had always cared for him wholeheartedly.

Now that he had returned to normal and possessed such a heaven-defying system, all of you who deceived me before, just wait.

After finishing an entire tray of food in one go, Lu Fan was so full that he kept belching. He got up and went to get another bowl of soup.

To his surprise, when he returned, an incomparably beautiful young woman was sitting across from him. She wore a white dress, and her simple high ponytail made her slender neck look long like a white swan's.

Her exquisite features made her look like a fairy who had stepped out of a painting, and even the way she ate was incomparably elegant and captivating.

Her seated figure was curvaceous, her full chest looking as though several large steamed buns had been stuffed inside. The skin on her exposed arms was as white as milk, and simply sitting there, she gave people the impression that her whole body was glowing.

Lu Fan was slightly stunned. He recognized this girl. Or rather, there was not a single person at Long University who did not recognize her.

Long University's Number One Campus Belle, Liu Mengran, who was known together with Liu Ruyan as the Liu Family's Twin Beauties.

Although Liu Mengran and Liu Ruyan shared the same surname, they did not actually know each other. Moreover, since both were ranked among the campus belles, Liu Ruyan had always disliked Liu Mengran, whose reputation for beauty surpassed her own.

Lu Fan sat directly across from Liu Mengran, his eyes fixed intently as he examined Long University's Number One Campus Belle before him.

"Worthy of being the Number One Campus Belle. That skin, that face, that slim waist, those boobs..."

As Lu Fan stared, he actually began drooling. Liu Mengran across from him happened to see it.

An idiot was drooling while staring at her. No one would have a pleasant expression in that situation. Liu Mengran's phoenix eyes widened, and she shot him a furious, embarrassed glare.

"You damn idiot, what are you staring at? Get away from me!"