Cry Faint in the Toilet

Just like that, Lu Fan bought off three informants with a seafood feast.

After dinner, Lu Fan had wanted to invite Liu Mengran to his dorm room for a little intimacy. Heaven knew he really only wanted some pure, innocent intimacy.

But Liu Mengran guarded against him like he was a thief and dragged her three roommates back to their dorm.

She was no naive little girl. A man's mouth was a lying ghost, even if that man was an idiot.

She had fallen into Lu Fan's clutches the day before yesterday because she had been too naive. Once bitten, twice shy—how could she possibly make the same mistake again?

With nothing to do, Lu Fan's eyes rolled, and his trademark foolish grin appeared on his face again as he began his journey of farming points.

In a few days, he would begin suing those people who had swindled him out of money. Before this matter blew up, the proper thing to do was farm as many points as possible.

Sure enough, when they saw Dragon University's Number One Idiot sitting in a chair playing on his phone, a couple of lambs immediately volunteered to walk into the tiger's jaws.

"Does the idiot have money?"

Lu Fan looked up at the two prey that had delivered themselves to him, his face full of delight.

To the two students, his smile was the textbook grin of an idiot.

"N-No money. My Aunt said I shouldn't tell anyone that I have money."

"Hahaha..."

The two boys exchanged glances and couldn't help bursting into laughter.

Once they were done laughing, they instantly put on sorrowful expressions and crouched pitifully in front of Lu Fan.

"Student Lu Fan, I'm miserable. I studied hard for over ten years before I finally got into Dragon University."

"My parents worked themselves to the bone supporting my education. I also have a younger sister in high school. Two elderly farmers have to support both of us through school—can you imagine how much pressure that is?"

As he said this, the boy fiercely pinched his own thigh and forced out a trace of tears.

His performance stunned his companion. With acting skills like that, it was a real shame he hadn't gone into the acting department.

Seeing that Lu Fan remained unmoved, still wearing that foolish grin, the boy could only keep performing.

"My parents farm and raise sheep back home in the countryside to support my schooling. This morning, our sheep pen suddenly collapsed. Dozens of sheep were crushed, and half of them died. My parents cried until they fainted in the toilet."

"When I got that news, it felt like the sky had fallen. I'm about to pay next semester's tuition, and those dead sheep have completely destroyed my future!"

At that point, the boy actually threw himself over the chair beside Lu Fan and began crying, leaving the nearby students dumbfounded.

"Um... why did your parents cry until they fainted in the toilet? Why not faint in the sheep pen? Could it be... your toilet lost its poop, and they were heartbroken?"

Lu Fan seriously asked this absurd question, leaving the sobbing guy stunned as well.

I just casually said it. Why do you care whether they fainted in the toilet or the sheep pen? Is that the important part?

"Actually, your parents could also cry until they fainted in the living room or kitchen. Those places are cleaner. Personally, I wouldn't recommend going into the toilet to cry."

"What if they fainted in the toilet and happened to fall into the pit? You definitely wouldn't want to see that."

"I... damn it... the point is that my sheep were crushed to death! I lost tens of thousands! I'm not talking about where they fainted, okay?!"

The student shouted angrily. If Lu Fan hadn't been an idiot, he would have wanted to beat him up.

"Then you are pretty pitiful. Since you don't have money for school, go home and herd sheep."

"But if your sheep get crushed to death again, you can cry in your bedroom. There'll be a bed, so you'll sleep more comfortably."

"I..."

The student felt as though a flock of crows was noisily flying over his head, and as they passed, they dumped a pile of shit right on his face.

He wanted to jump up and lose his temper, but the person in front of him was an idiot. If he argued with an idiot, wouldn't that make him look like an idiot too?

For the money, I'll endure it!

"Student, I don't want to drop out. I want to stay in school! You definitely have money, right? How about lending me some? Then I can continue studying. You'll be doing a great good deed and gaining merit—Heaven will bless you."

"But I don't have that much money. My Aunt just transferred me four thousand yuan! That definitely isn't enough for your tuition!"

Lu Fan didn't want to keep playing around either. Spending that time farming more points was the real priority.

The two boys looked at each other, and both saw the excitement in the other's eyes. Another free four thousand yuan—perfect, two thousand each.

"Student, look at how difficult things are for both of us. Lend each of us two thousand, and we'll pay you back in a few days once we have money!"

"You both need money? Did your sheep get crushed to death too?"

Lu Fan looked doubtfully at the other student. This guy didn't have his companion's impressive acting skills and was instantly left completely bewildered.

"M-My family doesn't have sheep!"

"Then what does your family raise?"

"Uh... my family has a dog!"

"Then that's easy. Your family can have the dog crushed to death!"

"I..."

Seeing Lu Fan's utterly serious expression, the student's teeth ground together, but at his companion's signal, he could only force himself to endure it.

"You're right. My family's dog was crushed to death. I need money to arrange its funeral. After all, it had been a companion to my family for many years."

The student forced those words out through clenched teeth, suppressing the overwhelming urge to hit someone.

After transferring out four thousand yuan, Lu Fan smoothly gained two points.

Just as the two had walked a short distance away, their phones rang almost at the same time.

"What? The courtyard wall collapsed and crushed more than a dozen sheep to death, causing losses of tens of thousands?"

"Ah Huang jumped off a building and fell to its death? How is that possible?"

Their shocked gazes met, and an icy chill rose from the depths of their hearts.

Watching the two leave happily, Lu Fan smiled even more happily than they did.

His rate of making money had long surpassed his rate of spending it, so he didn't care about such a small amount anymore.

Besides, once the lawsuits began, every last one of the people he had given money to would obediently take the initiative to send it back.

Lu Fan wandered around campus like that. In a little over an hour, he farmed more than a dozen points and took another big step toward his next lottery draw.

His phone chimed with a text notification. Lu Fan picked it up and saw that the phones he had won from Pinxixi's lottery the day before yesterday had arrived.

With ten Fruit Sixteen phones arriving at once, the courier didn't dare leave them in a delivery locker. He called Lu Fan again and insisted that he come pick them up in person.

Ten minutes later, Lu Fan returned to campus carrying the shipping box.

When he saw the women's dormitory building nearby, his eyes rolled, and he headed straight toward it.

"I've never been inside a women's dormitory in my life. This is the perfect chance to use delivering a gift to my darling as an excuse to go in and look around."

"What are you doing? Hey! I'm talking to you, you damn idiot! This is the women's dormitory. Be careful or I'll report you to the academic affairs office and get you expelled!"

Lu Fan had wanted to slip in while the dorm manager wasn't paying attention, but her eyes were like cameras, and she immediately called out to stop him.

"Hehe... Dorm Manager Auntie, I'm going in to see my girlfriend and give her something!"

"Who the hell are you calling Auntie? Your whole family is Aunties!"

The female dorm manager instantly exploded, jumping up and pointing at Lu Fan as she cursed him out.

Lu Fan looked at her height of at least five feet tall and her weight of at least one hundred and fifty pounds, then quietly swallowed.

Then he looked at her bun-wrapper-like face. She had to be at least in her fifties. If he didn't call her Auntie, was he supposed to call her little fairy? Or little beauty? I... blegh!