I Can't Even Beat a Cat?!?

After coaxing every child to sleep, Li Ming was dragged away by Pardo. With no other choice, he had to leave Hua at the orphanage.

"A month ago, Vill-V put on a magic show at noon, and then it exploded. Canned Food got scared and ran away. Vill-V said she would help me look for her, but she couldn't find her." Pardo explained everything that had happened. As she spoke, her tone gradually fell. "I wonder how Canned Food has been doing this past month. Has she been eating well? Sleeping well? Has she been bullied by other cats...?"

Seeing that Pardo was about to keep talking like the endless Yangtze River, Li Ming hurriedly cut her off. "So, do you have any way to contact Canned Food?"

"Uh, Canned Food comes back whenever she's hungry. Also, this is her favorite silvervine. She comes back whenever she gets tired."

"I wonder if she's hungry outside, if she's cold, if she's sleeping comfortably, if anyone is cleaning up her pee."

Wait, wasn't there something wrong with that last sentence?

Still, Li Ming understood. Pardo knew absolutely nothing and had no clues whatsoever. So the first thing Li Ming needed to do was—

"What does Canned Food look like?"

"Huh???"

Pardo froze and stared at Li Ming, with the snot she had wiped earlier still hanging from her face.

After comparing what they knew, Li Ming finally remembered what Canned Food looked like. At the very least, he now had a reference for his puppet outfit.

Then Li Ming followed Pardo around in search of Canned Food.

Main mission: Find Canned Food.

Hidden mission: Complete the commission.

Yet even after Li Ming followed Pardo around for a huge circuit, they still could not find Canned Food.

However, Li Ming gained a basic understanding of the area around Golden Courtyard for the first time. The surroundings were mostly suburbs. Even the buildings there were generally workplaces for the Heroes, though not all of them were. For example, there was Mobius's laboratory, Hua's martial arts school, and Aponia's kindergarten. As for everyone else, their workplaces were at least half an hour away.

Fortunately, Eden had provided Golden Courtyard with three cars, preventing everyone from being late to work. Usually, Kevin and Su were the ones who needed to commute. For school, Su or Hua generally drove Cosmo and Griseo there.

That was also why Mei had always resisted moving into Golden Courtyard. It was simply too far away, and there were too many people living there. The young couple was shy. They would rather build another house nearby than move in here.

When Li Ming asked whether Canned Food might have run into the city, Pardo immediately rejected the possibility. "Impossible. Absolutely impossible."

Then Pardo explained the nine major reasons why Canned Food could not possibly go to the city, but Li Ming only heard one key point—lazy.

Sure enough, Canned Food was lazy. That did not surprise Li Ming in the slightest. But if Canned Food was lazy, why had she run away? That only meant one thing: you were thinking too shallowly.

Why did Canned Food have to have run away from home rather than simply being too lazy to return?

Once he thought about it that way, didn't the answer become clear?

So Li Ming immediately took Pardo and her silvervine toward the places where animals gathered. The two got information about nearby animal gathering spots from Vill-V, who was lying in bed recovering from her injuries. Vill-V also gave them a small gear, though Li Ming had no idea what it was for.

Since Vill-V often needed animal assistants to cooperate with her, maintaining good relationships with the animals nearby was essential.

The two wandered around with a map, circling everywhere as though they were merely taking a stroll. They first went to a rabbit burrow, and only then did Li Ming realize how absurd he had been. He had actually thought of asking animals to help find Canned Food.

Yet when he saw that nest of rabbits, he discovered something even more absurd. Not only were the rabbits unafraid when they saw them, but after Li Ming took out the small gear Vill-V had given them, they became incredibly hospitable and led Li Ming around all the animal territories nearby.

Whenever they arrived at an animal's territory, one of the rabbits would say something to the local animals, after which even more animals would lead Li Ming around.

In the end, the area around Golden Courtyard became a complete mess. Anyone who did not know better would have thought demolition was underway. Dust billowed everywhere as they kept at it from morning until night.

Finally, Li Ming and Pardo were led to a cave three kilometers away from Golden Courtyard.

Pardo and Li Ming hid to the side and saw animals continuously carrying food into the cave. The two roughly understood what was happening, then headed inside with Pardo.

Sure enough, they saw a completely yellow, slightly chubby cat lazily sprawled atop a rock, sleeping soundly. The food brought in by the animals was all tribute for Canned Food. Some animals were even placing leaves beneath her on the rock so it would not hurt her, while others specifically cleaned up Canned Food's waste.

Li Ming finally understood why Canned Food had not gone home. Every single thing Pardo had worried about had been taken care of. If it were him, he would not have gone back either.

Seeing people intrude into the cave, the animals all tried to look fierce. Then Pardo gave them a little fright, and they scattered in every direction, completely abandoning Canned Food, who was still sleeping atop the rock.

"Canned Food, I finally found you! I was worried sick!" Pardo pounced on her. Before Canned Food could react, she heard that familiar voice.

Then she felt her head being ravaged again. Opening her eyes wide, she saw that it was indeed her useless owner. The little underlings she had recruited had disappeared at some point as well.

Canned Food: As expected, completely unreliable. No, I'm so mad. My secret base, which I worked so hard to find, is gone. I have to find someone to bully.

Pardo continued rubbing her head against Canned Food as if charging herself up, determined to make up for all the charging she had missed over the past two months.

Canned Food could not stop her owner, so she eventually turned her gaze toward Li Ming beside them. She struggled a little. Mm, she could not break free.

"Meow."

"Huh, Canned Food, you want to play with Brother Li Ming? But we only found you after searching for so long. Brother Li Ming is probably tired..." Pardo hesitated. She had only just found Canned Food and had not even rubbed enough affection into her yet. Letting someone else play with her already felt strangely wrong.

Naturally, Canned Food understood her owner's personality. As long as she acted a little cute, her owner would never refuse her.

"Meow... meow~"

Her soft little cat head nudged Pardo's chest. Pardo felt ticklish from the nudge, and her grip loosened. Canned Food immediately broke free from Pardo's restraint.

With a shake of her body, she transformed until she was as tall as a person. Her chubby body looked like it weighed nearly two or three hundred pounds, and the enlarged Canned Food completely blocked Pardo from view.

After Canned Food grew bigger, Pardo pressed herself against her and rubbed happily. "Brother Li Ming, Canned Food says she wants to play with you for a bit. You two play. I'm going to keep rubbing."

Li Ming looked at Canned Food, who hooked a claw at him, and felt like asking whether Canned Food really wanted to play with him.

He had just opened his mouth when Canned Food made a series of gestures. They were remarkably vivid, and Li Ming somehow understood every single one. It was absurd.

First, Canned Food gestured across her mouth with her claw, then pointed at Li Ming, then made a motion across her neck.

You'd better keep your mouth shut. If you dare say one more word, you're dead.

Mom, the cat can talk!

No, that was wrong. Mom, this cat has become a demon!

Seeing that Li Ming sensibly did not expose her, Canned Food nodded in satisfaction. She hooked her claw again, the provocation unmistakable.

"Since you're provoking me, then I won't hold back!"

Power gathered in his hands. Once he entered combat, Li Ming could see his HP bar. Canned Food had provoked him so blatantly that he could not tolerate it. He closed in with Vermillion Bird Treading Clouds, opening with the six forms of White Tiger Listens to the Wind. Although he had not yet mastered the moves Hua had recently taught him, Li Ming felt that dealing with a cat would be more than enough.

But when the six forms of White Tiger Listens to the Wind struck Canned Food's soft belly, they merely bounced twice before doing absolutely nothing. It was ridiculous.

Canned Food merely shifted her body. Her soft paw slowly and unhurriedly descended toward Li Ming. At first, Li Ming had not intended to dodge, but when that paw was about to land on his head, panic suddenly surged through him. His heart lurched, and he flashed aside, avoiding the paw strike.

Boom!

Li Ming saw a huge crater appear in the ground. At its center was a cat-paw-shaped hole, with even the toe beans clearly visible.

"What was that?"

Cat punch?!!

After Li Ming dodged, he triggered the Signet of Moment: Chaotic Hundred Flowers [Plum]. After a perfect dodge, attack speed and movement speed increased by 40% for eight seconds.

His speed and attack power rose by a level. He began charging a stance. "Inch Strength Extreme: Thunderbolt!"

A yellow sphere of energy gathered in his palm. Powerful energy flowed through the web between his thumb and forefinger. He drew both hands to his waist, then released the attack toward Canned Food's belly.

But Canned Food made a nimble leap, perfectly avoiding every bit of Inch Strength Extreme: Thunderbolt's power. Not even a speck of dust touched her.

Li Ming had not even seen what happened before his Inch Strength Extreme: Thunderbolt missed completely, blasting a half-meter-wide crater into the ground with its powerful energy.

"Hm? Canned Food, stop messing around. I'm a little sleepy... yawn." Exhausted after a full day, Pardo fell asleep on Canned Food's soft back. To sleep more comfortably, she even deliberately changed positions.

Canned Food had moved with Pardo just now without waking her at all. Li Ming felt that he might have encountered a formidable opponent.

Seeing that Li Ming was not taking the initiative to attack, Canned Food licked her paw, then extended her right paw to support the sleeping Pardo as she rose upright like a human.

Li Ming focused, raised both hands into a stance, and constantly adjusted his footing. He stared fixedly into Canned Food's shining black eyes, not daring to relax at all.

Yet the moment he blinked, Canned Food vanished from before him. Li Ming only felt a fierce wind rush at his face. Canned Food was already in front of him, her left paw swinging down. Li Ming raised both hands to block.

He did not confront the attack head-on. Instead, he used a clever application of force, catching the point where Canned Food exerted strength before the paw had fully come down, then slipping away.

Otherwise, Li Ming would have had no chance of escaping alive from beneath Canned Food's paw.

Li Ming panted. He had just used clever force, but Canned Food's sheer size was right there. Even with that technique, it had taken tremendous effort.

He looked at his HP, which had already fallen from the full 1,000 to 500. The Signets of Deliverance and Discipline had both activated as well.

Deliverance: Sword Edge · Sword Tomb · Sword Scar: The lower your HP, the higher your total damage. For every 100 HP lost, total damage increases by 1.0% (maximum 180%).

Discipline: Second, No Deception: During battle, gain 5 Admonition stacks per second, up to 200 stacks. Total damage reduction increases by 0.3% per Admonition stack. Using a summoned creature deducts 50% of current Admonition stacks.

Sweat streamed down Li Ming's face, and a faint glow appeared along his cheeks. Those were the patterns of the Signets. The Signet of Moment on his right hand also glowed faintly.

A minute had passed since the battle began. Discipline: Second, No Deception had actually given Li Ming 60% damage reduction already, yet he still felt that Canned Food's huge paws hurt terribly when they hit him.

Li Ming had just dodged Canned Food's attack, triggering Moment: Chaotic Hundred Flowers [Plum]. He did not particularly feel the increase in attack power, but in this situation, the speed boost sharpened his vision.

He lowered his body slightly and widened his stance. His opening posture was the same as Inch Strength Extreme: Thunderbolt's, but the following variation was different. His right hand drew back to his waist, and as he twisted his body, he stepped forward and threw a punch. Power gathered within his fist while stray energy streaked into yellow trails.

Li Ming had not expected to learn it so quickly. He had merely watched Hua demonstrate it once, then forcibly learned the move through sheer fighting spirit.

"Inch Punch: Mountain Collapse!"

The move carried the force of a mountain collapsing and the earth splitting. His fist was like a massive boulder rolling down from a cliff, crashing down with unstoppable force.

With the Signets' enhancement, Canned Food did not react in time. She could only protect Pardo on her back.

The punch struck Canned Food's belly. Li Ming did not feel as though he had hit anything solid, but Canned Food still let out a low grunt.

Looking carefully, the ground beneath Canned Food's feet had actually cracked. If she had not had enough fat, she probably would not have been able to block it.

That was because Inch Punch: Mountain Collapse was originally a shield-breaking ultimate move. With the Signets empowering it as well, its penetrating force was naturally not to be underestimated.

However, after using that move and hitting Canned Food, Li Ming felt completely powerless. His right arm dislocated immediately. Looking at Canned Food, who appeared completely unharmed, Li Ming chose to surrender.

But just as he was about to surrender, he heard Pardo mumble, "Canned Food, you should lose some weight!"

Canned Food's eyes immediately turned fierce. What should you do when your owner thought you were fat, but you did not want to lose weight?

The answer was to pass your weight-loss anxiety onto someone else.

And at that moment, the only person who could bear Canned Food's weight-loss anxiety was Li Ming. So Li Ming suffered. Canned Food rushed right up to him, then sent him sprawling with a single tail swipe.

But Canned Food knew her limits. After bullying Li Ming with her soft paws for a while, she slapped the exhausted Li Ming unconscious, then carried him on her back as she headed toward Golden Courtyard.

At that moment, Li Ming could only complain inwardly, I actually can't beat a cat?!?