Warp, in a corner no probe could ever find.
Four Warp Entities had gathered together in an unusual meeting, peering through a mirror into a world that did not belong to them.
The Blue Horror was by far the most excited. It kept cackling viciously and occasionally spouting strange remarks like, "The Cursed is such a loser! He can't even beat a toad! He swallowed it! He swallowed it—that was snow!" and so on.
Perhaps finding it too noisy, a figure clad in blood-red armor struck hard, blasting the blue blob apart. Blue slime flew everywhere, splattering even a pot of repeatedly boiled green soup.
"Quiet! Do not insult my supreme wisdom with your senseless drivel."
"Bullshit! What wisdom could an empty-headed fool like you possibly have, Khorne? Are you joking?"
Their words could not have been more incompatible. The rare harmony was shattered in an instant. The red and blue figures could do nothing to one another, so they could only claw at each other madly on the ground like a pair of brawling shrews.
Nurgle said nothing. He silently used a spoon to fish out the slime, watching the little blob in the spoon shout that everything was going according to plan. Even for Him, who had the best temper of all, this pot of soup was beyond saving.
As for the purple phantom, the least senior of the four, he did not watch The Suffering of the Yellow Skins like those three perverts. Instead, he gazed lovingly through the void at Mordred's figure, while indescribable pink slime spread beneath him.
Perhaps that gaze was too lecherous. Mordred in the image shuddered violently and pulled his little blanket tighter around himself.
Leaving the Four Chaos Gods' peeping aside for now, today was a special day for the Second Legion. They had experienced the Unification Wars on Terra and the annihilation of the Gene-Cult on Luna, and since the beginning of the Great Crusade, nearly every battle had randomly spawned several of them.
A standard Terran week earlier, the Primarch Fulgrim of the Third Legion had returned. Even more excitingly, the Emperor had sensed a new Primarch along the route near Chemos, toward the Galactic Core.
That lord was very likely the Primarch of the Second Legion's Soul Drinkers.
For this reason, the Soul Drinkers scattered throughout the various Legions began to assemble, heading toward the fleet where the Emperor was stationed so they could meet their Primarch at the earliest opportunity.
"Goff, our Primarch has been found! Do you know what that means? It means we won't have to live under someone else's roof anymore.
"You have no idea. Every time I run into Abaddon, that bastard never says a word without mentioning Horus. He's practically a daddy-obsessed pervert. I despise people like that most of all. So what if you have a father? We have one now too."
Brian Haig, the First Captain, stood two meters and seventy centimeters tall in his Mark II Power Armour. He paced excitedly around the bridge, imagining the wonderful life they would lead, boasting to the other Legions about having a father.
"Hey! Who says otherwise? At least you were assigned to the Moon Wolves. I was assigned to the First Legion, and life there was even more miserable. Their encrypted codes and secret signals alone nearly blew my mind. I have no idea how they remember them all.
"And every day I had to do dirty work. If I hadn't been more skilled than them, I would have been stabbed in the back.
"Hahaha! They'll never guess that I secretly keep a diary!"
Seeing someone join in, several Captains gathered on the bridge began complaining. One claimed the Ninth Legion secretly ate corpses, while another said the Nineteenth Legion could hide inside a jar. Soon, however, the Captain who had studied abroad with the Nineteenth Legion was roundly cursed out. Everyone said the Space Wolves had kicked his brains in. How could a person hide inside a jar? It wasn't scientific.
The Captain who had studied abroad with the Space Wolves said he felt insulted. The Space Wolves were not as savage as they appeared; they were crafty behind the scenes.
"Forget about the jars. Listen to me, listen to me.
"I went to the Twentieth Legion. Guess what? I think I discovered a huge secret. I saw a ridiculously short Primarch, only a head taller than me! But nobody believed me. He said he was merely an Alpharius. I'm the real Alpharius, okay?"
Looking at the giant men before him, each with a different appearance but none with any restraint in what they said, Goff Myne, the acting Legion Commander of the Second Legion, turned grim. He was genuinely afraid that the ship beneath their feet might accidentally become lost in the Warp.
"That's enough! Could you stop making me worry for once? Can't you learn from me? Even though the Thirteenth Legion formed cliques and lined their own pockets, and looked wildly ambitious, did I tell anyone? Did I? Answer me!"
Everyone fell silent... Commander, you didn't say anything, but you already shouted it out.
After a moment of silence, seeing that there was no one else nearby, Goff asked:
"Speaking of which, with our Second Legion's reputation being so terrible, do you think Father will dislike us when he sees us?"
An even more oppressive silence descended. No one dared to say for certain. After all, the Second Legion's reputation really was awful. They cheated and slacked off, muddled through everything, occasionally had sticky fingers, and loved courting death on every battlefield.
They were strong enough to survive whatever they did through the power of their father. Otherwise, the Emperor would have sent them off to break rocks long ago.
Thinking of the miserable days they would spend either breaking rocks at construction sites or digging in the dirt, everyone looked toward the two unlucky men who had studied abroad with the Seventh Legion and the Fourth Legion.
"I have an idea!
"What do you say we give Father some gifts when we meet him? I've already prepared mine. Taking advantage of my position, I saved a few Automatons while raiding the First Legion's people. They're guaranteed to win Father's favor."
"What a coincidence. I prepared some gifts too." A Captain in a red cloak, who had studied abroad with Mars and the Iron Hands, waved his mechanical arm. A projection showed a Warlord Titan, with even its paint still fresh.
Before long, the original complaint session had become a treasure presentation. Every Captain had a special trick of his own, while those who had nothing else to offer had brought several Fenrisian Wolves to give their Primarch as pets.
Looking at the vigorous scene before him—as though the next moment several Legions whose names were best left unmentioned would swarm them—Legion Commander Goff smiled in relief.
"Sigh! I hope Father won't mind all the trouble we've caused him! Come to think of it, I'm the only child who can really put Father at ease! After all, I only kept some Gene-Seed safe for someone else. It should be fine."
The enormous Gloriana-class Battleship tore through the Warp. Fortunately, it encountered no Warp mishaps and smoothly reached the target star system.
However, before reaching the world called Catachan, the Second Legion discovered another life-bearing planet beside the world where their Primarch was located. A strange battle was taking place there.
Through the Holographic Projection, the Captains saw a group of natives fly their laughable aircraft above the Titan, then begin boarding by parachute, their patched-up chutes flapping as they fought for control of the Machine God.
Because radiation clouds obscured their vision, they could only vaguely make out that the natives included some xenos.
This was exactly like receiving a pillow when one was sleepy. The Second Legion had been worrying about what to bring as a gift for their meeting with their Primarch, and now one had come straight to them.
"Brothers, rest assured. I won't claim the glory of this victory for myself. This is everyone's achievement. We'll give Father a splendid victory and prove to the other Legions that we aren't cowards!"
"Good! Well said! As expected of someone who studied abroad with the Sons of Horus. The things down there aren't ordinary xenos anymore. I suggest bombarding them with the ship's guns!"
The First Captain's suggestion was quickly accepted. After briefly taking aim, Goff, as the acting Legion Commander, walked to the firing platform and flipped open the protective cover over the enormous Red Button. His movements were smooth and practiced, and he had even thought to use a weapon type that would preserve the Titan.
In the end, Goff chose the Lance. One shot obliterated the decorative castle atop the Titan before they began boarding.
"Father, witness me! Heh-ha! Long live the Second Legion!"
At the same time, Mordred was leading a boarding squad across the Titan's roof, fighting the robots in street battles, when he suddenly felt a pang of dread, as though something terrible was about to happen.
Without the slightest hesitation, Mordred roared:
"Retreat! Fall back now! Forget those piles of scrap metal—run!"
The instant his voice fell, a dazzling radiance descended from the heavens. Unstoppable and irresistible, it crashed toward the castle everyone was fighting over.
Time froze. In the final instant before the radiance arrived, a verdant grassland replaced reality and yanked away the boarding troops who had yet to react.
Mordred faced the dazzling Lance head-on, leaving behind only a curse swallowed by the explosion:
"Yellow Skins, are you seriously using Eleven-to-one on me right now?!"
Before you continue