The Proper Use of Nonhuman Girls

"Business trip? Europe?" Hao Ren looked at Raven 12345 in surprise. "How come there are foreigners among my tenants?"

Raven 12345 gave Hao Ren a strange look as she sized him up. "When exactly are you going to catch up with the times? I told you, they're anomalous life-forms. They don't have nationalities! Your vampire was born before Peking Man could even walk upright. What country would she belong to?"

Hao Ren hurriedly slapped his forehead and admitted his mistake, saying that his imagination had been shackled by the rigid, ingrained thinking of Earth's humans. Then he quickly asked about the mission details. "Who am I picking up? Where exactly? When do I go? And finally, the most important question—will the organization reimburse my plane tickets there and back?"

"Look at you, so lacking in ambition." Raven 12345 glanced sideways at Hao Ren. "Don't worry. All your operational expenses will be reimbursed by the organization. Originally, I planned to open a teleportation portal and send you over directly, but considering that new employees need training, I decided it would be better to give you the funds and let you figure out how to get there yourself. As for what your 'client' looks like... well, I can't say for sure yet. His journey here was rather unusual, and he should be in disguise. However, the Data Terminal you're carrying will release an identification signal, and he'll come find you. You don't need to worry about passport procedures and the like either. I've already prepared everything for you through 'special channels.' Take them with you when you leave later."

Hao Ren nodded repeatedly, then suddenly remembered something. "Oh, right. What about the other two at home? They're still getting into fights every few days... I really can't just leave them at home!"

Thinking about how much trouble Lily and Vivian could cause without anyone watching them, and how long his house could last under the attacks of two superhuman women, Hao Ren broke out in a cold sweat. He had to solve this problem ahead of time. He really didn't want to come home and have his first task be calling a construction crew to build a new house.

"Bring those two along. They might come in handy, and I've prepared their paperwork too." Raven 12345 waved her slender hand. "Besides, that vampire has traveled all over the world, while the Werewolf can help you fight. Treat this trip as team training. Don't worry about them refusing. I looked into their situation, and those two... have nothing better to do."

Hao Ren was very concerned about what she meant by "team training" and "come in handy." His instincts gave him a vague sense of danger, but he didn't ask further. Raven 12345 was happy to explain the current situation, but she absolutely refused to reveal anything about what would happen in advance. He already knew that much about her.

"Once you've gotten the situation straight, hurry up and go." Raven 12345 slapped Hao Ren on the shoulder. "Go check your bank card. The funds for this operation are in there. This afternoon, I'll send the exact contact location and meeting details to your Data Terminal. This is a minor mission. Every Probationary Examiner starts with these trivial chores—train hard."

Hao Ren had only just managed to nod when he suddenly felt the world spinning around him. By the time he came to, he was already back on the road beside Wangba Tuozi. The throbbing pain in his shoulder, along with the document case that had somehow appeared in his hand, confirmed that what had happened earlier was not a dream. Every time he went to that grand house, he experienced an unreal, dreamlike feeling. The process of Spatial Teleportation was simply too absurd.

He remembered Raven 12345 saying that the funds had been deposited into his bank account, and couldn't help twitching the corner of his mouth. Never mind how she had found out his account number—what that woman couldn't do was hardly worth mentioning. What really deserved mockery was the fact that even working for a god required this kind of transfer for operating expenses... It was nothing like the novels said.

"Wait, I forgot something!" Hao Ren suddenly slapped his forehead. "I still haven't asked about Vivian's Blood Magic failing!"

A couple of days ago, Vivian had tried to use Blood Magic to soothe Hao Ren's "nightmare." In the end, neither the magic nor the vampire blood had worked. Instead, both had been absorbed by Hao Ren. The matter had been bothering him ever since, but during this meeting with Raven 12345, she had once again led the conversation by the nose, and he had completely forgotten to ask.

Looking up at the bright, crystal-clear sky and thinking about how busy Raven 12345 seemed, Hao Ren shook his head and decided to ask her next time.

After taking a car back to Baishi Road in the South Suburbs, Hao Ren was relieved to see that his house appeared to be fine. There was neither billowing smoke nor any suspicious sound of explosions. It seemed that the two superhuman women hadn't started fighting while he was out—though it was also possible that Lily had gone out on a "house call" and hadn't returned yet. Hao Ren stepped forward, took out his key, and opened the door. Before he even saw anyone, he called toward the living room, "I'm back!"

The house was eerily quiet, completely devoid of human voices. Hao Ren entered and closed the door, discovering that he couldn't hear the slightest sound from anywhere inside. Even the air conditioner in the living room was turned off. He poked his head around and looked for a long while, but in the end, only Roll leisurely slipped out of the kitchen to greet him.

"Holy crap... Could those two superhuman women have gone out to duel?!"

Hao Ren immediately thought of a horrifying possibility. He hadn't originally been such a pessimistic person, but ever since Vivian and Lily had nearly fought to the death over whether a Tibetan Mastiff could beat a wolf, he had realized that as long as those two superhuman women lived in his house for even one day, he had to develop the habit of expecting the worst. As long as they weren't in his line of sight, anything was possible!

Hao Ren felt a surge of unease. The weather had already been hot, and he had spent the whole trip outside under the sun. Now he felt sweat prickling all over his body. He found the air-conditioner remote and tried to cool himself down, only to discover that—the power was out.

"What's going on today... I just accepted a mission, and everything's already going wrong?" Hao Ren thought superstitiously.

Just then, he suddenly heard two very familiar female voices coming from the entrance. A weight lifted from his heart. Vivian and Lily were back. It seemed that the two of them hadn't gone off to duel.

"Hey, Landlord, you're back?" Lily was the first to bounce into the room. The moment she saw Hao Ren, she became animated. "It's almost lunchtime. Landlord, let's eat!"

This wolf girl's brain must be made of noodles and rice. Once mealtime arrived, she couldn't think about anything else!

"What were you doing?" Hao Ren wiped the sweat from his forehead and looked at Vivian. Lily had already entered her waiting-for-food state and was basically useless for conversation. "I thought you two had gone out to duel."

"The power went out, so I thought the electricity bill needed paying," Vivian said with a smile. "Then I went out and found Big Dog, and we went together."

For once, Lily didn't jump up and argue with Vivian. This idiot had been called "Big Dog" by Vivian day in and day out, and now she had completely stopped reacting to it.

"You needed two people to pay the electricity bill?" Hao Ren looked at Vivian strangely, but immediately realized the reason. "Oh, right. You can't touch money."

The smile on Vivian's face instantly stiffened. Being stabbed right in a fatal weakness probably didn't feel very good, but in the end, she merely shrugged indifferently. "The transformer in the residential compound burned out. The power will be out for half a day."

"Oh," Hao Ren replied. He picked up the magazine beside him and used it as a fan. "This is killing me. It's so hot... The power had to go out now of all times. Hey, Lily, what's wrong with you?"

Lily was crouched on the sofa on all fours, sticking out her tongue and panting hard. "I ran a little too fast on the way back. I'm kind of hot."

Vivian and Hao Ren stared at her in shock at the same time. It really wasn't wrong to call Lily a Big Dog normally—her method of cooling herself was way too advanced!

Although there was an unusual kind of cuteness in seeing a pretty girl make such a foolish, dopey expression, Hao Ren still found it a little hard to watch. He tactfully reminded Lily, "In your current form... do you still need to stick out your tongue?"

Lily thought about it, then touched the thin sweat on her body before finally realizing the problem. She hurriedly returned to a normal sitting position and pulled her tongue back in. "Oh, it's a habit. I always forget. I haven't managed to change it after all these years."

Hao Ren gave an awkward chuckle, not knowing what to say. Just then, a cool breeze suddenly drifted slowly over from beside him.

He turned his head in surprise and saw that Vivian had already transformed into her vampire form. A faint red mist of blood, visible to the naked eye, swirled around her as she released cool air and vigorously waved two small folding fans, fanning in every direction...

"Landlord, how about this?"

Hao Ren's eyes went wide. "What the—this works too?!"

At this point, Lily didn't care that Vivian was her mortal enemy. She rubbed against her in a few quick steps, asking as she enjoyed the cool breeze, "Hey, winged one, doesn't the air you release usually smell weird?"

Vivian raised an eyebrow. "That's only useful when I'm fighting. Can't I blow some clean air when I'm just cooling myself down?"

Hao Ren felt as if he had gained an entirely new understanding of the proper use of nonhuman girls. He grinned from ear to ear. "Not bad, Vivian. You can just be our air conditioner from now on. The electricity you save alone will cover half a month of your rent!"

Then he announced the mission he had just received from Raven 12345. "By the way, I've got something to tell you. In a couple of days, I'm going on a trip under orders—the Time-Space Administration Bureau mission. I have to go to Europe. There's no time limit, so you two might as well come along. What do you say? Are you free?"