Alchemy's Disgrace

"Are there any satellites around Mars?" Fred was busy doing his homework. Not long ago, he was annoyed to discover that he had missed his Astronomy Class homework and now he had to rush to finish it.

"Mars has two moons, but they are quite small." Albert, sitting across from Fred at the table, answered his question while flipping through a book, "The closer a planet is to the sun, the less likely it is to form moons. Mercury and Venus have no moons."

"Then... which planet is closer to the sun, Mercury or Venus?" Fred asked after scribbling a few words on the parchment.

Mercury is closer to the sun.

A few minutes later, Fred got up, stretched, and handed the parchment across the table to Albert across the table. "Finally caught up. Check if there are any mistakes."

The assignment for Astronomy Class was to draw a star chart of the Solar System, which required drawing the major planets in detail and labeling the names of the planets and the number of their satellites.

Albert glanced at the star chart on the parchment and immediately spotted the mistake in Fred's homework, pointing out, "Saturn and Jupiter are in the wrong positions."

Fred took the parchment back and casually changed the positions of Saturn and Jupiter.

After finishing his homework, Fred picked up a piece of fruit from the table, took a bite, turned to George next to him, and asked, "Are you done?"

George replied matter-of-factly, "It was done a long time ago."

Fred pretended to be angry and said, "Traitor, you actually did your homework behind my back."

"I asked you to help back then, but you didn't come. Who can you blame?" George couldn't help but roll his eyes at Fred. "I still remember what you said back then..."

"After you're done, I can copy it," Lee Jordan chuckled.

"Yes, that's what you said back then."

"You actually won't let me copy this."

"You never said you wanted to copy!"

The Twins started their usual bickering again. Actually, they were just bored; if they were busy, they wouldn't have time for this.

"What book are you reading?" Lee Jordan asked curiously. He had just finished his homework for the day. The advantage of doing homework with Albert was that he could ask questions immediately if he had any, and he could usually get answers. It was much faster than doing homework alone.

"Alchemy for Fools." Albert turned the book over and showed the cover to Lee Jordan. This was the book Professor Broad introduced, "Simple Alchemy."

"It seems like alchemy isn't taught at school." Angelina walked over, holding a monocular telescope that would be used in Astronomy Class, and sat down two chairs away from Albert. "When are you going to the Astronomy Tower? Class is about to start."

"Wait another ten minutes, I don't want to be stuck in the tower in the wind." Albert took out his pocket watch and placed it beside him, continuing to flip through the book in his hand.

Unfortunately, the book is a bit thin, so even if you finish reading it, it won't count towards the Reading Maniac's task reading count.

The author of "Simple Alchemy" is Zonko.

That's right, it's the same Zonko from Zonko's Joke Shop in Hogsmeade.

To be honest, Albert was quite surprised when he first saw the author of this book.

Of course, it's not hard to guess what the book written by that Joke Shop owner would contain.

This book tells readers about the relationship between alchemy and Charms.

The Invisibility Cloak, which originally sounded sophisticated, is transformed in the book into a cloak under Disillusionment Charm.

That's right, that thing became the so-called Invisibility Cloak.

The effect of the Disillusionment Charm is to disguise an object, making it appear to people as an inconspicuous stone on the roadside, or something else entirely.

However, some wizards believe that using Disillusionment Charm on a cloak is unnecessary, as they can use it on themselves.

Actually, Albert didn't quite understand why Professor Broad had recommended this book to him. He flipped through it carefully and finally made up an excuse for himself: "Simple Alchemy" contains methods for making amulets.

Yes, the book describes how to make amulets, but it doesn't use Guardian Tree; instead, it uses Banishing Charm.

Amulets created with Banishing Charm can indeed repel some Dark Creatures, but they can also bring trouble to the wearer.

When you carry this amulet with you, it will be difficult to receive mail from owls. The Banishing Charm on the amulet will also drive away the mail owls. Wizards who make amulets in this way usually have very low Charms skills and cannot make further use of the Banishing Charm.

The items he made, embodying Zonko's strengths, were purely for comedic effect.

The book "Simple Alchemy" also records methods for making some prank items; however, these bizarre gadgets were not well-received by most alchemists.

After reading the whole book, Albert felt that it should be renamed; "The Bizarre Alchemy" might be a more appropriate title.

Especially at the end of the book, there is a record of an Alchemy Item that is said to be able to repel vampires— Garlic Cross.

Albert almost burst out laughing when he saw the name.

The item is almost identical to its name; it's a cross that emits the smell of garlic, based on the principle that vampires hate garlic.

Here's a simple way to make Garlic Cross: Create a wooden cross, extract garlic using alcohol, mix the extract with beeswax or essential oil in a heated water bath, and finally apply the mixture thoroughly to the cross to infuse it with the aroma of garlic...

Carrying around a cross that smells of garlic has a strangely comical quality to it.

Well, this book is a disgrace to alchemy!

"Is alchemy interesting?" Fred asked casually.

"Interesting? No, alchemy isn't exactly interesting, but this book is very interesting." Albert closed the book and handed it to Fred. "After reading this book, my understanding of alchemy has changed dramatically."

"Let me see..." Fred flipped through a few pages and said with some regret, "This book is still too advanced for us; we can't understand it at all."

"If alchemy were offered, it would be an elective in the third year, but unfortunately Hogwarts doesn't have it," Albert said with considerable regret.

"Let me see." George took the book and suddenly shouted, startling everyone around him.

"What are you yelling about?" Lee Jordan glared at George, annoyed.

"Look, you definitely didn't discover who the author of this book is," George exclaimed excitedly. "Who is the author?"

"Zonko." George was already deeply engrossed in the method of creating the joke props above.

"Zonko from Zonko's Joke Shop?" the group asked curiously.

"Yes, that's him." Ignoring George's resentful look, Albert stuffed the book back into his bag. "Come on, if you're interested in this book, you'll have time to read it to your heart's content."

"By the way, what makes you interested in alchemy?" George asked curiously as they climbed the spiral staircase.

"When I was talking to Professor Broad about the Defence Against the Dark Arts, we happened to talk about amulets. He suggested I take a look at this book, so I went to the library to borrow it." Albert looked helpless. "However, I didn't expect the contents of this book to be so unexpected."

Are those things in the book really alchemy?

Albert reserves his skepticism on this matter.