A Witty Drill Life

Where the hell is my harem? I ask you, huh?!

Your boy finally manages to transmigrate into the Naruto world, and you expect me to not go after the local native girls, but instead mess around with some skinned-over avatar?

If I had that kind of refined taste, why wouldn't I just go after Cosers?

Hiss... Cosers... that might actually work?

Ahem!

Straightening out the turbulent thoughts in his mind, Naruto opened his mouth, but suddenly didn't know what to say.

"We'll talk details later." Sakura cut off Naruto's casting, signaling Sasuke to start his self-introduction.

Kakashi scratched his eyebrow, his gaze at the two growing more and more peculiar.

He had originally expected to hear Naruto's spirited and ambitious declarations, or perhaps a maiden's tender feelings of budding love.

But at this moment, he seemed to be facing not some freshly graduated students, but rather jaded, slacker jonin on the same level as himself.

How was this so different from what Lord Hokage had said?

Did I miss something?

The four of them each completed their self-introductions in this strange atmosphere, and Sasuke's revenge speech fell flat and unremarkable amidst everyone's silence.

Kakashi, however, was full of frustration inside.

It wasn't just that Naruto and Sakura were completely flat the whole time, but when he said that tomorrow they would conduct a field survival exercise, repeatedly emphasized the extremely high elimination rate, and warned in a threatening tone not to eat breakfast tomorrow because they'd throw it up...

Naruto rubbed his nose, then, as if waking from a dream, read out in a monotone: "Wow, what a terrifying mission, I can't even guess what will happen tomorrow!"

Sakura smoothed her hair, chiming in: "This is truly a test of love, I'm so nervous!" Then she cast an extremely deliberate glance at Sasuke.

Of the four, only Sasuke seemed tense the whole time, his hands clenched into fists, his knuckles turning white.

Kakashi scratched his eyebrow, feeling that things were definitely not simple...

Soon, Team 7 disbanded.

Naruto and Sakura found a secluded spot. The latter paused for a moment, then said calmly:

"Sasuke is most likely a local native. I observed the other main characters, and for now, there are no signs of possession."

"What we can confirm now is that the two of us have taken the spots of the male and female leads."

Naruto was slightly taken aback: "You're pretty thorough in your thinking."

"Mm. Now we need to figure out the rules of the transmigration. If this is a mass transmigration, then the entire plot of Naruto will be completely overturned, and we might both die a violent death."

"No way," Naruto's expression grew tense. "No matter what, I'm a Jinchuriki. Even without the Six Paths cheat code early on, I have Kurama to help keep me alive. Protecting you shouldn't be a big problem either, right?"

Sakura shook her head: "It's not that simple. It's just like Elden Ring's multiplayer mode. When you're solo, you can mess around however you want, but in multiplayer, the place is crawling with veteran trolls, impossible to guard against. And on top of that, you and I are the protagonists of the story."

Naruto listened, his brow deeply furrowed.

It wasn't that what Sakura said was wrong, but the example she used...

Elden Ring? Have you ever seen a wild, breathing, hardcore single-player game female player?

In his previous life over twenty years, Naruto had only ever seen videos online of Ziyu no-damaging Sekiro bosses.

"Cough, cough, be honest with me," Naruto looked at Sakura, his face full of suspicion. "You're not... biologically male, psychologically female, are you?"

Combined with what Sakura had just said, she claimed she was from Chongqing.

You know, Chongqing isn't just famous for producing beautiful, delicate girls; it's also famous for producing a type of yin creature known as a '0'...

"What, you doubt my gender?" Sakura raised an eyebrow. "Can a biologically female person not play Elden Ring?"

"Of course not. By the way, do you play Black Myth: Wukong?"

"Mm, I bought the special collector's edition... Now is not the time to discuss this, is it?"

"Cough, cough, right," Naruto forcibly steered his thoughts back to the main topic, but a burly, bearded man's image couldn't help popping into his mind.

Tsk, hard to say.

But no matter, anyone willing to buy the collector's edition of Black Myth: Wukong is at least a decent person, right?

Naruto: "So what are your plans now?"

Sakura: "I'll start training Super Strength as soon as possible and learn some self-defense jutsu. You need to hurry up and negotiate with Kurama, start collecting rent."

"So it's just speeding up the pace."

"Yes, we have to race against time."

"But at the same time, we should try to stick to the plot as much as possible? That way we can always have first-hand information."

"Mm."

Sakura nodded, then added: "Let's leave it at that for now. We shouldn't stay together too long. You're a Jinchuriki; the Third Hokage might have someone watching you."

"Really cautious," Naruto clicked his tongue. "Oh, by the way, if I end up establishing a friendly 'consolation' relationship with other kunoichi later, you wouldn't mind, would you?"

Sakura's face was expressionless: "Is this all you men think about when you transmigrate?"

"Tsk, don't be so rigid. I can help you get with Sasuke, Sai, or Kakashi too."

Sakura shot Naruto a venomous glare. "You scumbag!"

Naruto shrugged helplessly. "Sis, you're not hung up on some virginity complex, are you?"

Sakura replied coldly, "I don't see the point in that. Instead of dwelling on useless crap, think about how we're going to survive here."

With that, she turned to leave.

"Hey, wait up!"

"What?"

"What about tomorrow's exercise? What if I borrow some of Kurama's Chakra and mess with Kakashi?"

"Is that necessary?" Sakura turned her head. "You go step on the traps early tomorrow, then we run through the script, move Kakashi to tears, and wrap it up with confetti."

"Brilliant!" Naruto grinned and gave a thumbs-up. "But I really do want to spar with Kakashi. I never got to fight anyone in my past life, after all."

Sakura thought it over and said, "You can fight if you want. Just make sure we follow the script in the end."

"Deal."

Evening.

Naruto finished his instant noodles, sat cross-legged on the bed, and sank his mind completely inward.

In a daze, he felt his body slowly descend. The space around him grew damp, accompanied by the drip of water and gusts of chilling, gloomy wind.

Naruto opened his eyes, looking around curiously as he walked forward.

Soon, he reached a towering gate. He could vaguely feel heavy, coarse breaths rushing toward him, tinged with a faint, fishy stench.

Naruto looked ahead and said flatly, "Stop pretending to sleep. Let's talk."

"ROAR—"

A fierce roar surged forth, accompanied by blood-red, wide-open eyes slowly drawing closer to Naruto.

"Brat, why do you disturb my slumber?"

Kurama's heavy voice reverberated through the cramped space, shaking the surroundings.

Naruto: "I'll come to you tomorrow. Lend me some of your Chakra then."

Kurama's massive eyes narrowed slightly. "Why should I listen to you?"

"Because only I can undo your seal," Naruto said with a low chuckle. "This is a deal. You give me Chakra, I give you freedom."

"Brat, do you think your lies are clever?"

"First, I'm not 'brat.' My name is Naruto Uzumaki. Get that through your damn skull."

"Second, believe it or not, I don't lose anything either way."

With that, Naruto turned and left without looking back, quickly pulling his mind back to reality.

Perhaps because of the transmigration, Naruto could clearly feel that his control over his soul was far stronger than the original Naruto's.

And Kurama, savoring Naruto's words just spoken, fell into silence.