Chapter 287

"Will you live to be a hundred?" Hearing Hua Xin's tearful question, Xia Yan answered without hesitation, "Yes." Seemingly realizing his words lacked conviction, he added, "You definitely will." Even though Xia Yan had already guessed the ending. Hua Xin slowly lowered her arm, tears already streaming down her face. Her initial purpose was to be a listener, to hear Xia Yan's worries and troubles, but why couldn't she hold on? The moonlight disappeared, but she didn't raise her arm. "Then, why did she get into a car accident?" "Hua Xin looked at the moonless night sky and murmured, her voice choked with sobs. It seemed she was asking Xia Yan, or perhaps the dim, lifeless heavens. But the clouds didn't obscure the moon. The clouds were merely the moon's garment. 222. Only 'men' can understand men." Hearing the girl's words, Xia Yan's eyes closed in a daze. He gently placed his unfinished beer on the bench. He, who had been silently drinking and listening to Hua Xin since earlier, was now touched by her final, almost murmured words. Yes. Do good people really live long lives? Xia Yan's answer to Hua Xin earlier was definitely yes. Perhaps it was to comfort Hua Xin, or perhaps it was to give the girl, now bordering on sadness, a sense of certainty. But if you think about it carefully, among the people Hua Xin described, who were the bad guys, and who were the good guys? What became of the good people who helped her, and what became of the bad people who abandoned her? Xia Yan fell silent. He didn't know how to comfort Hua Xin, nor what he could say to lighten the mood and break the heavy atmosphere. And... what had happened to him recently. The cool night breeze felt chilly. The brilliant moonlight had vanished with the cover of dark clouds, leaving only a few twinkling stars to illuminate the dim sky. Xia Yan remained silent for a long time, whether touched by Xia Yan Hua Xin's words or simply too grief-stricken to speak, his voice hoarse—a voice unlike any he had ever heard before. "I didn't believe in any so-called 'fate' before." "I also believe that good people are rewarded." "Seemingly drunk, Xia Yan's eyes appeared particularly somber, but in the dim light of the night, his face, already flushed from the alcohol, was slightly red. Hua Xin didn't speak, only gently wiping away the tears that had just flowed, but it was clearly too late; the emotional outburst had already soaked through her mask. She actually hated alcohol. Every time she drank, the memories were unpleasant. The first time she drank at home, she missed the point of properly playing the role of a 'Online Scam girl'." The mysterious atmosphere she maintained, and her video chat with Xia Yan that revealed her true identity—if that incident hadn't happened then, there might never have been the real-life meeting. Even after learning in the library that the "Lao Shui" she'd been talking about was Xia Yan, she would have had time to carefully consider how to extricate herself unscathed, at least avoiding such a desperate move as to take the initiative. The second time was on New Year's Eve. She remembered Xia Yan preparing a table full of delicious dishes. Although there was a small hiccup along the way, it didn't detract from the festive atmosphere. During those days, they were both quite lonely. But that day, they drank. Whether it was because they disliked Xia Yan or because they didn't want to appear weak in front of him, they seemed to have forgotten about watching the Spring Festival Gala and focused on drinking that mixed alcoholic beverage that gave them a headache after waking up. Hua Xin would never forget the feeling of waking up to find Xia Yan so close to her, feeling his body temperature and breathing—completely different from waking up to find Chun Qiu lying at her feet... that sense of security was something she had rarely experienced. Fortunately, nothing happened in the end... otherwise, she could have gone earlier... It was Zisha teapots. And the third time was now. Each time, Xia Yan was by her side. Just now, when she poured out the emotions she had been suppressing lately, Hua Xin didn't feel any shame, nor was she afraid of being ridiculed or feeling too weak... This was in front of Xia Yan; she wasn't afraid. Similarly, Xia Yan felt the same way. In front of Hua Xin, he could, unusually, be his true self, speaking his innermost thoughts. Xia Yan downed the beer in the can, and with a strange, self-deprecating tone, said softly, "I can't do anything, actually." "... Hua Xin was taken aback by Xia Yan's unprecedented self-deprecating tone. A thorn seemed to be constantly pricking her heart, and she turned her head to look at him, her eyes somewhat dazed. In her memory, Xia Yan had never shown any inferiority complex; he was always so gentle and strong, as if everything was a trivial matter that could be accomplished with perseverance. Xia Yan had never said he couldn't do anything like this before, nor had he ever shown any weakness in front of her. Even in front of Gu Xin Hua, he had never shown such vulnerability." He never showed any sadness or sorrow. He just kept persisting, persisting in something inexplicable. Hua Xin didn't know what this something was, nor how to find it, but she could see Xia Yan's stubbornness. Saying no, saying I can't. These are two perfectly normal sentences for a normal person. But Xia Yan rarely, or rather, almost never uttered these two words. He persisted like this, persisting like this, until he couldn't bear it anymore, until his body collapsed, until he fell into a coma and was hospitalized. Why did it have to be like this? (The last sentence is a fragment and doesn't translate directly.) Why not just stay home like me, watching anime and playing games, becoming a complete shut-in who doesn't think about anything? But Hua Xin understood, she understood everything. The girl silently watched as that once always upright figure was now bent over, his face, which always carried a gentle smile, was now filled with pain. He held his face in his hands, as if he had no face to face certain people. Hua Xin subconsciously and slowly raised her arm, her hand trembling as she reached out towards Xia Yan. She didn't want to see Xia Yan in such pain. She didn't want to hear Xia Yan say that he couldn't do anything. He was clearly very capable... Ah, he had saved her like a god suddenly appearing. Her leaning body and trembling arms Hua Xin completely. But the image of Xia Yan, so dejected, was forever etched into the girl's eyes. She understood why Xia Yan was so stubbornly persistent in his pursuit of something. Hua Xin's soul remained unchanged. She understood how important a man's dignity was, she understood when a man would become so vulnerable, revealing his weakness. The girl's tears never stopped. At this moment, Hua Xin had never felt such a strong desire. She longed, so much...