Chapter 288

She rushed over and hugged Xia Yan, gently comforting him and telling him, "Cry it out." 223. Moonlight Parting the Clouds "For so long, I've been telling myself that there's nothing I need to care about, nothing I need to prove to anyone." "Study hard, exercise, learn interpersonal skills..." "They say that as long as you persevere, you will be rewarded, and as long as you work hard, you will always succeed." "I tried to become excellent in everyone's eyes, to become 'someone else's child' to give myself that cheap sense of self-satisfaction that I didn't even realize." Xia Yan paused, a faint self-mockery appearing on his lowered face: "But in reality, all of these things are completely meaningless." "Everything is self-deception." "How others see you is ultimately their opinion. On the surface, they praise and flatter, but behind their backs, there may be another face of dissatisfaction and ridicule." A struggle flashed in his eyes, and Xia Yan gently crushed the can in his hand. "If you hadn't woken me up that time, maybe I'd still be stuck in that self-satisfied world, unable to break free, maintaining that image of an excellent man in everyone's eyes?" "What..." "The real me..." "I can't do anything." Listening to Xia Yan calmly belittling himself bit by bit, Hua Xin could only sit there quietly listening, unable to even utter a decent word of comfort. Although she didn't know what Xia Yan had gone through to be so downcast, she understood his feelings. Hua Xin was Xia Yan Hua Xin now, not Gu Xin Hua. In the end, after a long silence, the girl softly comforted him, "That's not it." "You've done very well..." But before Hua Xin could finish her sentence, Xia Yan Hua Xin his head, interrupting her words of comfort, and leaned back on the bench, gazing at the few twinkling stars. "Lao Hua, it's been such a long, long time since I've spoken to you." "Chatting online always feels like there's something between us, like we can't really feel what the other person is truly feeling, or what their true feelings are when we're talking." "I've been through a lot lately." Hua Xin turned her head, reached for another can of beer, and the sudden pull of the tab brought out some foam, which dripped down and soaked the girl's sleeve. She seemed to have figured something out, or perhaps made a decision in her heart. Although her mind wasn't very clear, Hua Xin still didn't want to stop. The bitter taste flowed down her throat, briefly suppressing the stabbing pain in her heart. Gradually, her consciousness became somewhat blurred. But she drank more and more frequently. "Yeah, I know," the girl said softly, her voice almost unrecognizable as a boyish, feigned voice. "My grandfather..." "Actually, he doesn't have much time left, probably less than half a year." "Although he said it so easily, Xia Yan's heart was far from being simply heavy. Hua Xin was stunned, recalling that Xia Yan had been telling her all this time that his grandfather's condition was improving, improving, and that there was nothing serious. But then she thought, if there really was nothing wrong, would Xia Yan still be so preoccupied? Wasn't he just like her? The loss of the person you care about most, the person closest to you, is a feeling that no one wants to experience, something no one wants to encounter. But compared to a sudden accident, knowing that death is approaching is far more agonizing. It's not just tormenting the patient, but also tormenting the living. "My grandfather occupies a very, very large part of my life." "When I was in junior high school, my parents had probably already divorced, but I didn't know anything about it. I just hoped that their work would be easier, that they wouldn't be so busy, and that I could go home and have a meal and talk to them."Xia Yan smiled softly and closed his eyes. "Children are very sensitive. Just like you and me, we're the same." "When other children have things you don't, you subconsciously start to compare yourself to them, which can lead to envy or jealousy." "I'm no exception." "Like that KFC meal, the parents watching at the school gates, praising their children after exams—I never received any of that from them." "I've thought about this carefully since then. If they didn't love me, why did they give birth to me? They left me with my grandfather like a burden, and so many years have passed." Speechless. Xia Yan opened her eyes, somewhat bewildered, but the night sky remained completely dark, with only the stars twinkling. Perhaps it was about to rain; dark clouds had gathered, obscuring the moon. The park lights were a little far away, as if Xia Yan and Hua Xin had already blended into the darkness, the light seeming to avoid them. "Standing in the hospital room, listening to the doctor's orders and advice, for a moment I didn't know if I was still standing there." "Besides comforting Grandpa and telling him that with proper treatment he would get better and soon be able to go back to his hometown to play chess with his old friends, there was nothing I could do." " Xia Zhongshan paid for it, he found the hospital, he contacted the best doctors, he handled everything crucial." "The feeling of being unable to do anything, that sense of powerlessness, made me understand so much. That naive idea of wanting to prove something to someone seemed to disappear with it."Hua Xin remained silent, only trying to muster her spirits as she softly said, "You've done very well." " Xia Yan." She rarely called Xia Yan by his name. She and Xia Yan were actually the same. Unhappy childhoods, parental avoidance, the loss of loved ones—these are things that happen to many people, not rare occurrences. There are always irresponsible parents, always those who act impulsively and refuse to shoulder responsibility. No one understands profound truths from the beginning; they are learned through setbacks and difficulties. But these setbacks and hardships can become shadows that one can never shake off for the rest of their life. Xia Yan spent a whole year saving her, changing the trajectory of her life, changing her thoughts, changing everything about her. Perhaps it was because of her special circumstances... Hua Xin seemed to understand Xia Yan as well as she understood herself. He was such a gentle and strong person. He should always be so mature and composed, handling everything with ease and effortlessly solving problems she couldn't. Just like the " Hua Xin Transformation Plan." Without Xia Yan, she might still be in that Little Black, waiting for the days to pass by. She didn't want to see Xia Yan filled with inferiority and sadness. She didn't want Xia Yan to deny himself. There were still so many things she wanted to say, so many words of comfort she wanted to tell Xia Yan, so many hopes she had for him to overcome his gloom. "Thank you, Hua." "If it weren't for you, I really wouldn't know who to say these things to."Xia Yan once again...