Chapter 299

Her hands were always so cold. "Want to go to the library? The cafeteria isn't far from here either. Did you eat breakfast?" Xia Yan silently put the girl's hand in his pocket, blinked, and asked softly. The distance between them grew closer again because of this gesture. Hua Xin shook her head, quickly rejecting both suggestions: "I've eaten... the library is too quiet..." "Then shall we go for a walk?" "Too far, I don't want to go." "The gym? There seems to be a basketball game today." "I hate basketball the most." "..." Xia Yan looked at the girl who refused everything he said with a slight smile, as if she was deliberately going against him. After a slight hesitation, he continued, "Then where do you want to go?" "We finally got a date, we can't just wander around the school all the time, can we?" "No, I don't know..." Hua Xin had been having a hard time calming down, so she naturally only had one answer to this question. This school, where she had lived for a whole year, obviously didn't offer much to do or explore. But for her, choosing to stroll around the school with Xia Yan instead of going shopping, to the mall, or to the movies clearly had its reasons. Everything stemmed from this school. The entanglement between her and Xia Yan also began here. If they hadn't both chosen this school by chance, and hadn't happened to be in the same class, everything—whether it was Hua Xin or Gu Xin Hua —would have ended abruptly, never even existed. So, since it started here, it should end here too. That's why Hua Xin chose to stroll around the school with Xia Yan today. "How about we go sit in that little pavilion over there..." Hua Xin paused, then beckoned to Xia Yan's hand with her finger. "Okay, I'm a little tired too." "It's quite far from the school gate; it's a walking area for students and teachers." Xia Yan glanced at the girl beside him without leaving a trace, then looked away and said softly. The two sat side by side in the pavilion. They hadn't realized when they'd arrived at this familiar place. Hua Xin looked at the trees and the pavilion, and images hidden deep in her memory resurfaced. It was here that she met Chun Qiu. And it was here that she and Xia Yan brought Chun Qiu home, making it their pet cat. Without Chun Qiu, the series of events that followed at the cat café probably wouldn't have been resolved. Sometimes, you have to acknowledge a vague, intangible connection. Individual events might seem insignificant, but when connected, they reveal countless threads of fate. If...if...if...so many possibilities, so many additions, so many possibilities. What's the use of making assumptions or "what ifs"? The deed is done; it won't change or disappear. Hua Xin has always been afraid and conflicted. Many of the nightmares that wake her at night stem from the scenes she least wants to see, the scenes she fears most. If Xia Yan knew about the lies between "Hua Xin" and "Gu Xin Hua" over the past year, how would he react? Would he be angry, sad, or perhaps shocked, followed by a surge of rage and gloom? At least, Xia Yan would never verbally abuse her. But compared to Xia Yan's harsh rebuke, the silent questioning and accusations are what Hua Xin has always feared and dreaded. She didn't know how to answer Xia Yan. She didn't know how to face him. That's why, on that night when Hua Xin and Xia Yan were confiding in each other, Hua Xin chose to drink so many cans of beer, despite her already low alcohol tolerance. Feelings are things that are hard to fathom. People often deceive themselves, finding excuses to numb the truth they already understand and have been avoiding. Hua Xin was no exception. In her solitary life, she had no close relatives or loved ones, or rather, all her closest relatives and loved ones had left her. Any slight sign of "kindness" towards her made Hua Xin feel happy and joyful. That's why she couldn't forget even those kind people who had only helped her with small things. She thought her feelings for Xia Yan were the same. The help of her "good brother," the guidance of her "good friend." She had emerged from the Little Black, able to work independently to support herself, and converse fluently with people. She was practically like a normal, ordinary person; no one looked at her like a "patient" anymore. Those "illnesses" that couldn't be cured because she couldn't afford medicine or a psychologist. That thought of finishing university, fulfilling her promise to Auntie Li, who was like a real mother to her, and then ending her life, leaving this world where no one remembered her. Hua Xin suddenly gripped Xia Yan's hand, raising her head to look at him with a firm yet gentle gaze, as if she wanted to say something. Xia Yan in her sight was still so handsome, with that annoyingly gentle quality. The girl's eyes flickered. More than words, the eyes reveal a person's inner thoughts. A misty haze filled her eyes, but she didn't cry; instead, she revealed an incredibly radiant smile. Because... Xia Yan had healed all of this. It was him. He had saved her. Xia Yan was Hua Xin's cure. 234. My name is Hua Xin. "I love you." These simple words echoed in the quiet pavilion, causing Hua Xin to pause, her pupils contracting, the words she wanted to say stuck in her throat. Because these were the words she wanted to say. The words she originally wanted to say to Xia Yan. But why weren't these words her voice, not coming from her mouth? Ah... this... it sounds like Xia Yan's voice. The girl was momentarily at a loss, as if Xia Yan's sudden words had interrupted all her train of thought, and the words that had been in her heart were forgotten to be uttered. "Like" and "love" are two completely different words and concepts. At least in Hua Xin's understanding of these two words, they do not represent the same meaning. "Like" is more of a subtle expression in shy interactions, neither too greasy nor too frivolous, simply used to express the feelings that arise. But "love" is a very important word. Throughout Hua Xin's twenty years of life, she had always tried her best to avoid this word that she could not obtain and could only fantasize about silently. What is love? Hua Xin was very curious and also afraid. Because she had briefly experienced the taste of love, the disappearance of love was particularly painful and despairing. She longed to have it and was afraid to lose it. Xia Yan's appearance brought her friendship, and the gradually increasing trust and tacit understanding between friends made her very happy. Being able to gain friends and recognition was no less important than "love".