If You Want to Leave, Then Leave

Eat when you're hungry.

The Judge's Brush suddenly uttered this sentence, and then fell silent.

The fortune teller, lacking the Discern Spiritual Sounds Technique, could not hear the sound of the Judge's Brush, but he sensed a slight change in the atmosphere of the room.

There seemed to be some dew on the phonograph's horn.

"Can't eat, can't eat," the record player murmured. "We still need this old man to take my husband out of the city."

The Wife wasn't short of food and immediately dismissed the idea.

But Li Banfeng didn't give up. "Wife, eat him!"

"Husband, this person can't be eaten yet..."

"Eat him quickly."

"If I eat it now, what will my husband do...?"

Li Banfeng looked at the record player and said, "Aren't you going to listen to me?"

After a moment's thought, the record player emitted a cloud of mist from its speaker.

The fortune teller was shocked. "What are you trying to do? Young man, don't you want to get out of here? Do you want to be trapped in this city for the rest of your life?"

I'll take you out. I know how to get out. I'll take you...

Bang!

Li Banfeng kicked the fortune teller, who stumbled and ended up near the record player.

A whirlwind rose from the loudspeaker, and the fortune teller's soul was swallowed by the Wife. There was no intact corpse on the ground, only scattered pieces of flesh and blood.

Li Banfeng looked at Red Lotus and said, "Eat!"

Red Lotus glanced at the blood and flesh on the ground but didn't take a bite.

She doesn't like to eat common food.

The corpse of the repaired is not an ordinary thing.

Aren't these flesh and blood part of the fortune teller?

What's the use of all this flesh and blood?

Was it just a disguise, to make the fortune teller look more human?

No need.

Li Banfeng was able to tell he was a ghost because Li Banfeng possessed the Golden Eyes Autumn Down Technique. Ordinary people who entered Fool's City would see them as ordinary people and would not be able to tell that he was a ghost.

Let's not think about the uses of flesh and blood for now, let's think about the source of flesh and blood.

If this flesh and blood wasn't part of the fortune teller, then it probably wasn't generated by the fortune teller either; he must have gotten it from somewhere else.

Thinking of this, Li Banfeng felt a chill run down his spine.

The people at the inn kept chasing Li Banfeng, and the fortune teller also followed Li Banfeng. Their purpose was probably to take advantage of his flesh and blood.

If Li Banfeng hadn't had the habit of staying in his Portable Abode, he would surely have died at the inn. The innkeeper was a foolish cultivator on the fourth floor, definitely much more difficult to deal with than this fortune teller.

There are still many foolish cultivators in the city, but why haven't they attacked me?

The person selling the plasters, the onlookers, the auntie who gave me directions...

That old lady!

She didn't give me directions.

She invited me inside for a drink of water.

If I go into her house, will she make her move?

It's like when I enter an inn, I'm essentially in the innkeeper's room, so he can kill me.

The others couldn't kill me because I didn't go inside the house.

Is this the rule of Fool's City?

But why did the fortune teller want to kill me?

Did I go into his house?

They're in.

The abandoned house was his house.

That fortune teller was so cunning; he actually tricked me into his house.

Li Banfeng hugged the record player and kissed the loudspeaker. "Wife, I've figured it all out. Don't you think I'm much smarter?"

Not only did Li Banfeng become much more sober, but his Wife also became much more sober.

Sizzle~

"Oh, my lord, has this Little Slave also fallen for his tricks?"

The Portable Abode fell silent for a few seconds. Then, the Wife roared, and all three loudspeakers emitted smoke. "A mere second-level cultivator managed to trap me with a technique? What kind of logic is this?!"

Red Lotus didn't mock the record player; just now, even her thoughts were in complete disarray.

The techniques of this foolish cultivator are too powerful.

Li Banfeng sat on the edge of the bed, pondered for a long time, and devised a simple and brutal plan.

"Wife, in a moment I'll take another record player outside and play some music to lure the spirits of the dead into the house."

"If one comes in, I'll close the door and hand them over to my Wife for interrogation until she finds out how to leave the city."

"My lord, it's easy to get the answer, but difficult to tell the truth from the falsehood."

"No need to distinguish them. I'll bring back another one, and you can continue interrogating him, my Wife. If their testimonies match, it will prove that they told the truth."

Sizzle~

The Wife exhaled a puff of steam. "That's a good idea."

Li Banfeng pushed the windmill record player out of the third room and was about to leave when he suddenly heard Dream Virtue say, "Sir, you should go to sleep."

"What sleep? Why are you making me dream about you again?"

Dream Virtue said shyly, "I also contributed to that battle just now."

Li Banfeng retorted angrily, "What effort did you put in? You called me a scoundrel, and then you screwed me over. Is that what you call putting in effort?"

Dream Virtue hung his head, looking very aggrieved. "It was an unintentional mistake."

Seeing that Li Banfeng was very angry, the record player advised, "Husband, have something to eat and rest for the night. You're exhausted."

Li Banfeng ate two cans of food and then fell asleep in bed to the sound of Dream Virtue's beautiful singing.

The record player pointed at the calendar and said, "We still have to fight tomorrow, don't let him have nightmares! I won't punish you for your poor performance today, but if it happens again, I won't let you off easily."

Dream Virtue quickly bowed and said, "Thank you for your magnanimity, Madam."

The Judge's Brush snorted and said, "Still too many."

A puff of steam from the record player turned the Judge's Brush red-hot. "What exactly is too much?"

"Snort!"

It hurt quite a bit to get burned, but the Judge's Brush was too lazy to dodge and remained lying in the same spot.

That evening, Li Banfeng arrived at Iron Sheep Mountain. Rong Yeguang, was not there, leaving only Lu Xiaolan to guard the mountain gate.

Li Banfeng used his Portable Abode to infiltrate the mountain stronghold, killed Lu Xiaolan, and stole 100,000 silver dollars. He then set fire to the entire stronghold!

"Hahaha!" Li Banfeng stood in the center of the mountain stronghold and laughed loudly.

Then Li Banfeng woke up.

Such a wonderful dream, and now I'm awake.

Li Banfeng couldn't remember most of what happened in the dream, but he knew it was a good dream.

Seeing Li Banfeng's fierce eyes, Dream Virtue trembled incessantly in front of the calendar poster. "Sir, you must be laughing in your sleep. It's really not my fault. Madam, please say something."

Li Banfeng had no time to deal with Dream Virtue; he still needed to go out and capture the souls of the dead. Changji called out to Li Banfeng, "Husband, go ask the Judge's Brush. He seems to have a way to deal with the foolish cultivator."

What can he do?

However, he did speak yesterday.

Li Banfeng picked up the Judge's Brush and sincerely asked, "Brother Pen, if you have a way to get out of the city, please tell me. You certainly don't want to be trapped here."

The Judge's Brush had been brewing for a long time, and he had the desire to express himself, but he was too lazy to say it.

Realizing it couldn't be explained in just a few words, Li Banfeng changed his approach. "Tell me first, is my method effective?"

"Too many," the Judge's Brush uttered only two words.

Li Banfeng wasn't angry. He carefully considered the meaning of those two words: "Are you saying I think too much, or do too much?"

"There are many."

"How is there too much?"

"There's a ruthless person watching."

What kind of ruthless person?

"Do you have an easier way?"

"Alas," the Judge's Brush sighed, waited for more than two minutes, and then uttered four words, "Fool's Thousand Thoughts..."

Li Banfeng had heard of this idiom. "Fool's Thousand Thoughts of genius."

"But according to your logic, I've underestimated things."

The Judge's Brush seemed to convey an indescribable helplessness. After waiting for two minutes, he uttered four more words. "A fear of gain and loss."

Fool's Thousand Thoughts gains and losses.

What kind of idiom is this?

"Brother Bi, I don't understand."

The Judge's Brush said helplessly, "If you want to leave the city, then go ahead."

"I can't get out! If I could, would I be wasting this effort?"

The record player grew impatient. "My lord, it's Little Slave fault. Don't ask him anymore. Let's get down to business."

Li Banfeng had just pushed his windmill record player to the door when he suddenly heard the Judge's Brush say, "You're hopeless! Give me back my money!"

He said so much at once that Li Banfeng couldn't process it all.

What kind of capital?

Broken!

In Hundred Vine Valley, the Judge's Brush once moved the Qiu Daxiang, covering an area of more than two miles.

He'd always been too lazy to ask for capital, but now he's suddenly speaking up.

He put in a lot of effort back then; if you were to calculate the cost, Li Banfeng would have to wait a long time.

What should we do?

"Brother Bi, let's discuss this. We can talk it over after I leave Fool's City..."

It's too late.

Li Banfeng only spoke halfway through his sentence before giving up.

The Judge's Brush has already recouped its investment.

He looked back at his bed and longed to lie down.

Lie down instead of sitting.

No, I can't lie down.

Once I lie down, I might have to stay there for a long time.

The key is still outside. After a fight with the fortune teller yesterday, Li Banfeng casually tossed it into the abandoned house.

It's not a good idea to leave it in the courtyard like this. Yu Xiu is so cunning; if he has accomplices, he might just pick it up.

I have to go out and check, at least I need to move the key to a different place.

That damn Judge's Brush, it just had to come up with something today, damn it...

Forget it, I'm too lazy to teach him a lesson.

Li Banfeng gritted his teeth, pushed open the door, and looked back at the windmill record player.

Should we push it out?

Why are you pushing it? It's so heavy.

Li Banfeng left empty-handed, not even bothering to bring a single magical artifact.

After leaving the room, Li Banfeng picked up the key and then wanted to go back to lie down.

No, we need to find a place for the key first.

Are there any good spots in this house?

Since we need to guard against the fortune teller's accomplices, we certainly can't hide the key in the house.

Go outside and take a look; maybe there are some good places out there.

Stepping out of the room, Li Banfeng looked around. The area outside the abandoned house was quite empty, with no good place to hide the key.

Why do I keep thinking about hiding the key?

Didn't I want to leave the city?

This road is quite wide. If we keep walking forward, will we be able to leave the city?

What kind of good deal is this? We've been walking around for two days and still can't get out. You think you can just wander around aimlessly and get out?

Forget it, I'll just go back to bed.

Looking back at the abandoned house behind him, Li Banfeng hesitated again.

He'd already come out, so he didn't want to go back.

If you don't go back, you'll just keep going out?

That's quite tiring too.

How about we just lie down right here?

Li Banfeng's will was strong enough that he resisted the urge to lie down and sleep, and continued walking along the alley.

I want to leave the city!

After walking for a while, the alley turned a corner.

If I want to leave the city, I should take a straight route. Should I climb over the wall?

Forget it, using VPNs is too tiring.

Taking a slight detour is nothing; just follow this road.

Walking forward in a daze, Li Banfeng focused on fighting against laziness, trying not to think about anything.

After passing through the alley and reaching the main street, an old woman in front of me asked, "Child, are you lost? Come and have a bowl of water with me."

You even tricked me into drinking water. Can't you come up with something new?

Li Banfeng walked forward without saying a word; he was too lazy to talk.

Not long after walking, I saw the plaster seller again. "This is my family's secret recipe. It works as soon as you apply it. My friend, you've used my plaster before. Do you think it works?"

"Friend, give me a word. If it doesn't work, I'll give you ten thousand. Let's go to my house right now to get the money!"

Your medicine is a load of rubbish!

I went to your house to get money, entered your house, and then killed me?

You think I'd fall for your tricks?

Li Banfeng ignored him.

There was a magician ahead. He took a piece of white paper, crumpled it in his hand, and it turned into a dove, which fluttered away.

The magician shouted at Li Banfeng, "I have two tricks. Would you like to learn them, my friend?"

"If you want to learn, I'll give you a small tip; consider it a fun experience. If you don't want to learn, just clap your hands and show your support."

Li Banfeng didn't bother to look at him.

Not long after, a man who looked like a doctor approached, carrying a medicine box. "Friend, you have a mole on your face, which is said to bring bad luck to your parents. I'll remove it for you, it'll only cost one cent."

Li Banfeng was too lazy to even scold him.

I don't even know who my parents are, and you're telling me this?

There's a breakfast vendor up ahead; he seems to recognize me. Should I go around him?

I've seen it, so why bother taking a detour? I'm not going anywhere!

The Friends Inn is just ahead; we'll have to go around it this time, right?

No beating around the bush!

Because we kept wandering around aimlessly, we couldn't find the city gate!

I refuse to believe that group of people in the inn have been watching me all along!

Even if they keep their eyes on me, I don't need to be afraid.

If you can win, fight; if you can't, run. Why bother going around in circles!

After walking for more than two hours, Li Banfeng looked up and realized that he had reached the city gate.

They're out?

That's it?

I didn't think about anything, and it just came out!

This is too much...

Never mind, it's nothing.

Li Banfeng was too lazy to be happy.

He decided to run for his life and leave the place immediately.

After hesitating for a long time, Li Banfeng gave up.

You can't run.

Too tired.

Take your time.

The Wife said that there was only one Daoist sect in the world that could restrain foolish cultivators, but she was powerless to fight against them.

Is this Daoist sect just Lazy Cultivator?

Does "inability to fight" mean the literal meaning?

It's not that Lazy Cultivator can't win, but that Lazy Cultivator is too lazy to fight?

Is that really the case?

Li Banfeng was too lazy to think about it.

After walking for more than ten miles, a middle-aged man was standing ahead of them.

Li Banfeng didn't want to look at him, but he felt that the man looked somewhat familiar.

Who is it?

Sun Tiecheng!

Hunter!

That bastard!

I wanted to go to Iron Sheep Mountain, but he took me to Fool's City!

Once we got to the city, you fucking took me to a shady inn!

I suffered this calamity because of you, and you still dare to wait for me here.

"You..." Li Banfeng glared at Sun Tiecheng, then continued on his way.

I couldn't be bothered to argue with him.

Sun Tiecheng still had that honest and unassuming look. He called out to Li Banfeng, "Sir, please come over and say a few words."

"No." Li Banfeng was too lazy to speak.

"Li Qi, you have passed my test."

He knows my Li Qi!

What did he mean by "exam"?

Li Banfeng was too lazy to ask.

"Li Qi, don't rush off, I have something good for you!"

Li Banfeng was too lazy to accept it.

"Li Qi, wait!" Sun Tiecheng somehow produced a bed and placed it in front of Li Banfeng.

That's absolutely vicious!

Do you think I'd fall for your tricks?

After struggling for a moment, Li Banfeng lay down on the bed, yawned, and said, "Go ahead and tell me."

P. S.: Eat when you're hungry, sleep when you're sleepy, rest when you're tired, and head out of the city if you want to leave!

Lazy Cultivator is just that pure.