Director, This Script Is Wrong

~

"Yunwen, have fun with your friends, and make sure you're home before ten tonight. Also, take good care of yourself, and don't play any games that are too intense. If you start feeling unwell, call an ambulance right away, okay?"

At the front door, Kojima Mie gave him a concerned reminder.

Shu Yunwen agreed readily. Only after he'd walked some distance away did he finally breathe a sigh of relief.

His aunt really did treat him well, but she was keeping such a close eye on him that he could barely take it! Shu Yunwen was already thinking that after a little while, it might be better to move back into his own place. Come to think of it, since no one had lived there for so long, he'd have to find a cleaning service to tidy it up...

He felt around in his pocket and pulled out the check Yamazaki Akiji had given him the day before. Whistling, he headed for a nearby bank.

Inside the taxi heading to Tropical Land.

Shu Yunwen held the compact camcorder he'd just bought, feeling a little glum.

Yesterday, Yamazaki Akiji, that sucker, had shown up and handed him fifty thousand dollars. Shu Yunwen had thought he'd be able to live it up for a while. But he'd barely bought the best compact camcorder available, and the damn thing had already cost him more than half of it.

The yen sounded like a lot when you talked about tens of thousands, but it sure didn't go very far!

Well, if he hadn't wanted to record the bizarre moment Kudo Shinichi went from big to small, he probably wouldn't have needed this thing.

The taxi stopped in front of Tropical Land. Shu Yunwen paid the fare and looked around the entrance. He soon spotted Tsukamoto Kazumi waiting there in a pale green, knee-length dress.

When she saw Shu Yunwen approaching, Tsukamoto Kazumi came over at once and waved gently. "Yunwen, you're here."

"Ah... Sorry, Kazumi. I think I'm late..." Shu Yunwen's gaze lingered on her for a moment before he apologized.

Tsukamoto Kazumi looked so beautiful dressed like that. Shu Yunwen could hardly believe he'd gotten the chance to go on a date with someone so gorgeous.

Tsukamoto Kazumi shook her head. "No, you're not. I got here early. My home is nearby, and I wanted to look around the area..."

They chatted as they paid for their tickets and entered Tropical Land.

After strolling around for a bit, Tsukamoto Kazumi's gaze settled on an ice cream stand. She seemed to really want some.

Shu Yunwen paused, then immediately took out his wallet. "Excuse me, could we have two ice creams, please?"

Tsukamoto Kazumi hurriedly waved her hand. "No, you don't have to spend money on me. I'm the one who invited you..."

Shu Yunwen smiled. "You don't have to be so polite, Kazumi!"

The stand was run by a young woman in an amusement park uniform, probably a part-time worker. She took the money, handed Shu Yunwen his change and the ice creams, and said, "Thank you for your business. Also, your daughter is very pretty..."

"Pfft..." Tsukamoto Kazumi burst out laughing beside him.

"Uh..."

Shu Yunwen felt as if he'd turned to stone. In his mind, a little devil appeared, grabbed the ice cream seller by the collar, and slapped her across the face again and again. Who said I was her father? Say that one more time! Go on, say it again!

Of course, Shu Yunwen only imagined doing something so violent. He would never actually do it.

Fine. I won't stoop to your level!

He pocketed the change and handed one of the ice creams to Tsukamoto Kazumi. "Kazumi, this one's yours."

"Thank you, Yunwen." Tsukamoto Kazumi thanked him, then took the ice cream and licked it in small, delicate strokes.

The gesture looked rather alluring.

After a few licks, Tsukamoto Kazumi noticed Shu Yunwen staring at her and shyly lowered her head. "Yunwen..."

"Ah..." Shu Yunwen snapped back to his senses and hurriedly apologized. "I'm sorry, Kazumi. That was really rude of me..."

Before Tsukamoto Kazumi could respond, a child's voice came from nearby. "B-Brother Yunwen, w-what are you doing here?"

Shu Yunwen turned around and saw three little kids staring at him.

One was a chubby boy with a shocked expression. The other two were an adorable, curious boy and girl. The boy had freckles on his cheeks, while the girl was dressed in a cute outfit.

"Genta? You... Did you sneak off to have fun?" Shu Yunwen paused, then suddenly remembered that Genta had apparently made a brief appearance in the Tropical Land case.

The chubby boy immediately looked terrified. "Y-You caught me! Brother Yunwen, please don't tell Mom!"

The chubby boy in front of him was Genta. The two beside him were naturally Yoshida Ayumi and Tsuburaya Mitsuhiko.

Mitsuhiko looked at Genta's expression and sighed. "Genta, looking like that just makes it more likely this gentleman will tell your mom."

Ayumi looked at Tsukamoto Kazumi. "S-She's so pretty, big sister! Did you come here with this gentleman?"

Tsukamoto Kazumi giggled again.

Shu Yunwen's mouth twitched twice, and a vein bulged on his forehead.

Damn it! Don't call me "uncle"!

Forcing a kind smile, Shu Yunwen said, "You two don't have to call me 'uncle.' I'm not that old. I'm Genta's cousin. It's nice to meet you."

"Huh? G-Genta's cousin? Can a cousin be this much older than Genta?" Ayumi covered her mouth with one hand, unable to believe it.

Mitsuhiko rested a hand on his chin, looking very wise. "I think it must be because there was a big age gap between their parents. Yes, yes. That's why he can be Genta's cousin even though he's already fifty..."

F-Fifty?

Shu Yunwen felt himself about to turn evil, but when he looked at the little kids in front of him...

Fine! Kids said the darndest things. He wouldn't hold it against them.

"Heh..." Shu Yunwen smiled faintly. "If you just call me 'brother' instead of 'uncle,' I'll treat you to ice cream!"

"R-Really? Even though we've only just met?" Tsuburaya Mitsuhiko looked delighted, then turned to the ice cream seller. "Could I have a strawberry one, please?"

Hey, you weren't shy about asking, even though we'd only just met!

"I want apple flavor!" Yoshida Ayumi ordered her ice cream first, then thanked Shu Yunwen. "Thank you for the treat, Brother."

"I-I want one too. Banana flavor." Genta ordered one as well.

The amusement park worker smiled and handed the three ice creams to the kids. Shu Yunwen took out his wallet to pay, but a smug voice suddenly came from beside him. "Shu-san, are you at the amusement park too? And treating the kids to ice cream..."

Shu Yunwen turned around and saw Kudo Shinichi and Mori Ran waving at him from nearby.

Why had they run into each other here? The roller coaster was still a ways off!

That was what Shu Yunwen thought, but aloud he said politely, "So it's Student Kudo and Student Mori. Would you like one too?"

"That's very generous of you!" Kudo Shinichi scratched the back of his head, looking embarrassed.

Shu Yunwen nearly spat blood.

Damn it, the guy didn't know the meaning of being polite!

Everyone had gotten their ice cream before Kudo Shinichi and Mori Ran finally noticed Tsukamoto Kazumi. They hurriedly greeted her. "Senior Kazumi, we're really sorry. We didn't notice you just now. That was very rude of us."

Tsukamoto Kazumi smiled. "Hello, Student Kudo and Student Mori. Are you two on a date?"

"Ahhh... It's not like that!" Steam seemed to rise from Mori Ran's face.

Tsukamoto Kazumi said, "I never expected to run into you here. Since we've met, why don't we all go around together?"

"Together? W-Wouldn't that be imposing?" Ran and Shinichi glanced at Shu Yunwen, then at Tsukamoto Kazumi.

The two of them must have come out on a date too, right?

And Senior Kazumi seemed like a completely different person. Everyone knew Tsukamoto Kazumi as someone who was usually cold and distant. So how had she become like this when she was with Shu Yunwen?

Tsukamoto Kazumi smiled. "Of course not. As it happens, Yunwen ran into his younger cousin and his cousin's friends too. It'll be livelier if we go around together..."

"Then thank you for having us," Ran said, accepting the invitation.

Shu Yunwen rolled his eyes and turned to Genta and the others. "Genta, you and your friends stick close to me, okay?"

"Got it, Brother Yunwen," Genta replied.

Ayumi hurriedly bowed. "Thank you, big brother. My name is Yoshida Ayumi. It's nice to meet you!"

Mitsuhiko bowed too. "I'm Tsuburaya Mitsuhiko. It's nice to meet you."

Then Ayumi and Mitsuhiko turned to Kudo Shinichi, their faces full of admiration. "Could this big brother really be the legendary high school detective, Kudo Shinichi?"

"Huh? That's right, it's me!" Kudo Shinichi paused, then answered.

"That's amazing!" the three little kids exclaimed.

Shu Yunwen was annoyed and rolled his eyes. "Let's go!"

The group walked around together and played a few games before finally reaching the roller coaster. After buying tickets and lining up, the three kids chattered excitedly about wanting a ride.

"Hitomi, look how lovey-dovey Kishida and Aiko are!"

Someone nearby spoke in a hushed voice. Shu Yunwen turned and saw four people standing together: one man and three women. One of the women and the man seemed very close and affectionate. Shu Yunwen paused, then suddenly understood.

These four must be the main characters in the roller coaster case, right?

And the one who got murdered was the man.

Since all four of them were here, that meant...

Shu Yunwen turned and scanned the area. He spotted two men dressed in black, one burly and the other tall and thin.

Gin! Vodka!

Those two really had come.

Beside Shu Yunwen, Kudo Shinichi followed his gaze and saw Gin and Vodka too. His brows furrowed deeply.

Over the loudspeaker, a staff member called for the next group to board the coaster. The four people, Gin, Vodka, Shinichi, and Ran moved toward it. Kudo Shinichi kept glancing at Gin and Vodka, deep in thought, while Genta and the other two were clearly excited. They crowded around Hitomi, Aiko, and the others. "Pretty big sisters, could you let us ride first?"

"Well..." Aiko hesitated, then smiled. "Of course! Mr. Kishida, let's let the children go first, okay?"

"Sure! No problem," Mr. Kishida replied readily.

Hitomi paused, then immediately said, "Then I'll give my seat to one of the kids too."

The woman beside Hitomi, Reiko, also said, "Then I'll wait for the next ride too."

Genta and the other two cheered. "Thank you! Thank you, big sisters, and big brother!"

Shu Yunwen was stunned.

He looked at Gin and Vodka, already seated in the back row, and Shinichi and Ran, already seated in the second row.

Weren't Hitomi and Reiko supposed to sit in the first row, with Aiko and Kishida in the third? Those three kids had butted in, and now Hitomi and the others were waiting for the next ride. Wouldn't that mean the murder would happen on the next ride instead? If Kudo Shinichi didn't witness the murder himself, wouldn't it take him longer to solve the case? If he took too long, would he fail to follow Gin and Vodka and end up not taking the drug that made him shrink...

Director, this script is wrong!

The plot's all messed up. The whole thing could fall apart!

To make sure Conan-kun still appeared as planned, Shu Yunwen sprang into action without a second thought and punched Genta on the head. "Genta, you can't be a bother to people!"

Reiko hurriedly waved her hands. "Sir, please don't do that. They're so cute. They're not bothering us at all! Hitomi, Aiko, Mr. Kishida, let's wait over there."

Hey, hey, why were you all leaving just like that? I'm trying to keep the plot from getting derailed!

By then, Mitsuhiko and Ayumi were already seated in the first row. Genta looked up at Shu Yunwen pitifully. Seeing that Aiko and the others had already gone off, Shu Yunwen could only wave his hand and let Genta board too.

Tsukamoto Kazumi asked beside him, "There's one empty seat left. Would you like to ride, Yunwen?"

"Um... I'll pass." Shu Yunwen shook his head. He was thinking that once this ride was over and Kishida and the others boarded the next one, he'd give up his seat and let Kudo Shinichi take it, so it'd be easier for him to solve the case.

At any rate, the plot had to get back on track.

Seeing that Shu Yunwen wasn't going, Tsukamoto Kazumi shook her head too. "Then I'll wait a while as well."

When the staff member saw that Shu Yunwen and Tsukamoto Kazumi weren't getting on, he found someone who'd come alone to ride. Once everyone was seated, the roller coaster set off.

A while later, the coaster stopped on the track again, and everyone climbed off. Gin and Vodka glanced coldly around, then hurried away.

After a quick safety check, the loudspeaker called for the next group to board. Shu Yunwen was trying to think of how to trick Kudo Shinichi into getting on for another ride when he saw Kudo Shinichi say something to Ran and then hurry off into the distance.

Shu Yunwen stared, with a sudden urge to throw in the towel. "Kudo Shinichi, why are you running off?"

Kudo Shinichi looked back and waved. "Sorry, Student Shu. I've got something to take care of, so I'm leaving!"

Leaving, he's leaving, la la la la...

Damn it! The protagonist of the manga had left, so what was he still doing here?

A vein bulged on Shu Yunwen's forehead. He asked Ran, "Student Mori, what's going on with Student Kudo...?"

"He, um, seems to think those two men in black..."

Before Ran could finish, Shu Yunwen had figured it out.

So the "Washing Machine" had noticed the murderous aura coming off Gin and Vodka and gone to cleanse the world of evil. But if he followed them now, would he still end up shrinking?

"Yunwen, we're the only two who haven't gotten on yet. Let's go too!" Tsukamoto Kazumi said, taking Shu Yunwen's hand and pointing toward the coaster on the tracks.

Shu Yunwen glanced over. The empty seats were in the second row. Hitomi and Reiko were in the first row, while Aiko and Kishida were in the third.

Well, at least those people were seated where they were supposed to be.

Shu Yunwen hesitated, but then remembered he still needed to absorb the soul. He got into the coaster with Tsukamoto Kazumi. Tsukamoto Kazumi waved at Ran and called, "Student Mori, I'm counting on you to look after Genta, Ayumi, and Mitsuhiko!"

"Got it," Ran replied with a nod.

The roller coaster set off. Tsukamoto Kazumi reached out, took Shu Yunwen's hand, and suddenly asked, "Yunwen, you don't seem to like this... But you used to love it."

"Really?" Shu Yunwen paused. "Have I ridden it before?"

"Of course." Tsukamoto Kazumi looked at Shu Yunwen. "Whenever we came to Tropical Land together, you always rode the roller coaster."

"Uh..." Shu Yunwen paused, then put on an embarrassed expression. "Sorry, I can't remember."

"It's all right," Tsukamoto Kazumi said with a smile.

Shu Yunwen scratched his head with his free hand, then took the handheld camcorder out of his pocket and flipped it open with the lens facing upward.

As the roller coaster picked up speed, Shu Yunwen used his "Ghost Eye" to look around. Tsukamoto Kazumi had already closed her eyes and was trembling. Her grip on Shu Yunwen's hand tightened until it started to hurt.

"Kazumi, are you scared?" Shu Yunwen asked.

Tsukamoto Kazumi opened her eyes, her eyelashes trembling slightly. "This is my first time on a roller coaster, so I'm nervous. Am I squeezing too hard? I'm sorry for troubling you."

"N-No, it's fine..."

Shu Yunwen thought it over and suddenly began to understand.

Tsukamoto Kazumi must have been afraid of roller coasters, while his predecessor had loved them. She'd forced herself to get on so she could help him recover his memories.

"Kazumi, thank you," Shu Yunwen said.

Tsukamoto Kazumi replied, "No, you don't have to. You and I don't need to say 'thank you' to each other."

"Why?" Shu Yunwen asked.

At the same time, the tunnel ahead came into view.

Tsukamoto Kazumi looked at Shu Yunwen and slowly spoke. "Because before your accident, we were dating..."

As she spoke, everything around them suddenly went pitch-black.

Shu Yunwen was stunned too.

What was this? Had she confessed to him? If he accepted now, would that mean he was finally off the market?

After all, in his previous life, he'd been a single guy with the face of an uncle, and his life hadn't been easy.

What was that saying? Something about how, for that kind of thing, you had to rely on your hands...

But he and Tsukamoto Kazumi had no real emotional connection at all! If he accepted her just like that, wouldn't it be irresponsible?

Shu Yunwen agonized over it for a while. In the end, the thought of no longer being single won out, and he was just about to say something when suddenly there came a scream. Shu Yunwen and Tsukamoto Kazumi turned their heads together—

A man's body was missing its head, and blood was still spurting from his neck.

Damn!

Then Shu Yunwen and Tsukamoto Kazumi turned their heads at the same time and started throwing up.

In Shu Yunwen's mind, the fountain-like scene was anything but pretty. As he kept retching, he suddenly remembered that he'd meant to say a few things just moments ago and finally get himself a girlfriend.

With a corpse behind them and Shu Yunwen and Tsukamoto Kazumi vomiting in opposite directions, who could possibly think about getting a girlfriend in a scene this intoxicating?

Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!

P.S. This chapter was too long. I'd planned to finish writing and post it last night, but once I got going, I couldn't find a good place to end it, so I decided to finish it today and post it then.

Mm, over five thousand words—now that's a hefty chapter!