My Miwako Couldn't Possibly Be This Goofy

On a street near Tokyo Tower, in front of a public phone booth.

The car pulled over to the side of the road. Shu Yunwen got out and went into the phone booth, then dialed his own number.

The call connected, and immediately Shu Yunwen heard Tsukamoto Kazumi's voice on the other end. "Hello, this is Tsukamoto Kazumi. You've reached Shu Yunwen's phone. If you're trying to reach him, please leave your contact information, and I'll pass it on to him later..."

"Kazumi, it's me, Shu Yunwen!" he announced.

Kazumi immediately replied, "Yunwen! You finally got in touch with me. Are you done with your business? It's already getting dark, and the children should be taken home soon. Their parents will definitely be worried if they don't get home."

"Thanks for looking after the children, Kazumi. I'm done with my business and will be there soon. By the way, where are you now? Are the children with you?"

"Yes." Kazumi nodded and glanced at the four little rascals nearby, happily chatting away. "Since it's getting dark, I didn't dare let the children run around. I brought them to Mingqi Cafe to rest..."

"Hmm... You're not standing next to the children while you're on the phone, are you?" Shu Yunwen asked.

Kazumi nodded. "That's right. I'm standing off to the side... Is something wrong, Yunwen?"

Shu Yunwen smiled slightly and continued, "It's nothing. By the way, Kazumi, I need you to do something for me. You have to keep it secret from everyone. You absolutely can't tell anyone, including the children. Can you do that?"

"Uh... What is it?" Kazumi hesitated for a moment, then agreed.

"Look around you. Can you see three men wearing black suits? One is Japanese, and the other two are foreigners. The Japanese man is of average height and has a handlebar mustache. As for the two foreigners, one is tall and burly, and the other is rather short. Can you see anyone like that? And be careful when you look. Don't let them notice you."

Shu Yunwen had observed the three men earlier that day, so he was able to describe them clearly.

"Let me see..." Kazumi cautiously looked around twice, then lowered her voice. "Yunwen, there are three men here who match your description. They're inside the cafe, and they're even wearing sunglasses indoors."

"Thanks, Kazumi. Now go back to your seat and wait for me at the cafe. And keep an eye on the children. Don't let them run off."

"Okay, Yunwen. I'll wait for you."

After the other end hung up, Shu Yunwen hung up as well. Then he heard someone knocking on the phone booth's glass. A young man called out to him, "Hey, old man! Hurry up and come out once you're done! I need to make a call too! Don't waste everyone's time, okay?"

Old man? He'd been called an old man again?

Shu Yunwen's mouth twitched twice. He left the booth and quickly got back into the car.

He couldn't be bothered to argue with some young kid.

After asking Matsushita Heisaburo to drive to a secluded alley near a public phone booth, Shu Yunwen got out wearing a mask and called the police. As soon as the call connected, he deliberately altered his voice through the mask. "Hello, I'd like to report a crime. I just saw a Japanese man and two foreign men inside Mingqi Cafe near Tokyo Tower. They were speaking Italian and talking about escaping the police and finding the Maple Leaf Gold Coins. I suspect they're members of the Italian Bandit Group, who are currently wanted. Please send someone to arrest them immediately."

The operator on the other end said, "All right, sir. We're recording your report... Could you also leave your contact information?"

Shu Yunwen casually made up a name. "My name's Hirata Taro. I study Italian at the University of Tokyo, so I can understand what they were saying."

After finishing his story, Shu Yunwen hung up and returned to the car. "Matsushita-kun, please drive to the nearby Mingqi Cafe."

"Yes, sir!"

Ten minutes later, inside Mingqi Cafe.

Kazumi and the four children were sitting on the sofa. Cute little Ayumi held her cup in both hands and took a sip. Then she looked at Conan, who was still resting his chin on his hand and staring thoughtfully at a scrap of paper. "Conan, have you figured anything out?"

"Not yet." Conan shook his head. "...But I feel like I'm close."

Conan looked toward the street outside, his big, adorable eyes fixed on it for a while. Then he suddenly hopped off the sofa.

Kazumi immediately reached out and gently caught hold of him. "Edogawa, where are you going?"

"Ah... I-I wanted to take a look outside." Conan scratched his head.

He had a feeling that if he went outside and looked around, he might figure out the missing piece of the puzzle.

Kazumi immediately put on a serious expression. "Edogawa, you mustn't be naughty! We're going to wait here for Yunwen to arrive, then go home. Understand?"

"I'll just be outside for a little bit!" Conan said with a playful smile.

"I said no!" Kazumi refused again.

"Okay..." Conan's spirits sank a little.

"Welcome!" At the counter by the entrance, a part-time server bowed slightly with a sweet smile.

Kazumi looked toward the entrance and saw five people walking in. Shu Yunwen wasn't among them.

She looked away, disappointed. Then the woman among the newcomers bowed slightly and spoke loudly to the server. "I'm really sorry. I came here with a friend yesterday, and as a prank, she took my work ID and hid it underneath a seat in the cafe. I've been looking for it all day. I have something very important to do now, so I need to get my ID back..."

"Is that so? But we clean very carefully every night when we close, and we didn't find anyone's lost work ID yesterday..." The server looked puzzled.

"My friend must have hidden it somewhere really well! Please, I'm begging you!"

After bowing, the woman didn't wait for the server to respond. She walked over with her two companions to the table where the three bandits were sitting, then bowed slightly again. "Gentlemen, I'm very sorry to trouble you. We hid my work ID underneath your seat, so..."

The Japanese man among the bandits spoke up. "All right, you don't need to explain! I heard everything. This is a nuisance... Hurry up, please."

The woman hurriedly nodded and bowed thirty degrees. "Thank you so much."

The three bandits stood up. As the woman maintained her bow, her expression changed. She suddenly reached out and grabbed the burly foreigner walking past her, then snarled and threw him to the ground. With a flick of her hand, she revealed a police badge marked with a cherry blossom. "I'm Sato Miwako of the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department's First Investigative Division! You're under arrest!"

The two men with Sato Miwako sprang into action almost simultaneously, moving to arrest the short foreigner and the Japanese man with the handlebar mustache. The short foreigner offered little resistance and was quickly pinned against a cafe table. The Japanese man, however, cursed and fought back, knocking another officer down. Then he charged toward Kazumi and the others' table, looking at Conan. "Kid! If you don't want to die, hand over that piece of paper right now!"

The two officers guarding the entrance rushed inside. One of them shouted, "Damn it! Sawada Jinmei, surrender now! You can't escape!"

The other young officer yelled, "Everyone, stay calm! Don't panic. We're the police..."

Thanks to the young officer's blundering, the customers inside the cafe actually became more panicked.

Sawada Jinmei couldn't spare a thought for what was behind him. Just as he was about to grab Conan, Kazumi suddenly swung a punch and hit him in the arm. The sharp pain made Sawada stop. He turned toward Kazumi and suddenly swung at her, shouting, "Damn it! Get out of my way!"

Kazumi calmly raised her arm to block, then lifted a leg and kicked at Sawada's stomach.

Sawada Jinmei must have practiced some karate or something. He hurriedly raised both hands to block her, then reached inside his jacket, intending to pull out a gun and take a hostage.

Kazumi had sharp eyes. The moment his gun appeared, she kicked him in the wrist. The gun fell to the floor and rolled under a nearby table. With his gun gone and several officers rushing up behind him, Sawada Jinmei abandoned his attempt to snatch the "treasure map" from Conan. He abruptly turned and charged into the officers behind him, knocking them over before making a run for the cafe's entrance amid their cries.

Kazumi hesitated. She glanced at Conan and the others beside her, but in the end she didn't chase after him.

Just then, the door creaked open, and Shu Yunwen walked in. He immediately saw Sawada Jinmei charging toward him. The man slammed his shoulder into Shu Yunwen. "Get out of my way, old man!"

Without using Ghost Sorcery, Shu Yunwen was just an ordinary person.

Sawada Jinmei slammed into him with all his strength. Caught completely off guard, Shu Yunwen fell to the floor with a yelp.

Damn it! That hurt!

Wait, were the police arresting bandits here? It had only been ten minutes since he called them! Since when had the cops gotten so fast?

Of course, that wasn't the most important thing. The most important thing was... What had that guy just called him? Old man? Did he really look that old?

Inside the cafe, Kazumi hadn't planned to chase after the bandit. But when she saw Shu Yunwen get knocked down, she flew into a rage.

"Yunwen! Ahhh! You bastard!"

He'd actually knocked Yunwen down! Unforgivable!

Kazumi stepped onto the sofa, leaped onto the table, then sprinted across it toward the entrance. She saw Sawada Jinmei running toward a car across the road, and dashed after him in three long strides.

Sawada Jinmei had already scrambled into the car and was about to drive off. Suddenly, there was a crash as the driver's-side window shattered. Sawada felt someone grab him by the neck and drag half his body out of the car. Then he saw who was in front of him.

It was a girl whose eyes blazed with anger.

What? Was she actually blazing with anger too?

Well, that had to be an illusion!

Yes, definitely an illusion. No doubt about it.

"You bastard!"

Kazumi suddenly let go. Then she forcefully pushed off with her foot and spun around, growling:

"Aaahhh!"

Her full-circle spinning kick struck Sawada Jinmei's left cheek dead-on. The enormous impact knocked him unconscious, and his body slumped halfway out of the car as if he'd gone limp.

Inside the cafe, the four children pressed against the window, watching Kazumi go on a rampage.

"Big Sister Kazumi is amazing!" Ayumi's eyes sparkled.

Genta and Mitsuhiko felt a little uneasy. Mitsuhiko gave an awkward laugh. "Instead of amazing, I'd say she's terrifying."

Genta agreed. "She smashed the window with her fist and knocked that bad guy out with one kick. Is she going to become my big brother's wife someday? What if I do something wrong..."

Ayumi, Mitsuhiko, and Genta all imagined Genta getting into trouble and Kazumi kicking him unconscious. Ayumi and Mitsuhiko immediately gave Genta sympathetic looks. "Genta, you poor thing."

Conan ignored the three imaginative kids, but he was still rather taken aback. She's so strong... She might be even scarier than Ran...

At the cafe entrance, Sato Miwako and two officers came running out. When they saw what was happening across the road, they breathed a sigh of relief. Sato Miwako stopped, while the two male officers hurried toward the other side.

Sato Miwako glanced at Shu Yunwen, who was still sitting on the ground, then turned her head. "Takagi, why don't you help this gentleman up?"

The young officer immediately responded and helped Shu Yunwen to his feet. Smiling, he asked, "Sir, are you all right? Would you like me to call an ambulance?"

Shu Yunwen's mouth twitched twice. The thanks he'd been about to offer instantly changed. "Sir? Do I really look that old?"

"Officer Takagi!" Sato Miwako glared at Takagi, then smiled warmly at Shu Yunwen. "Sir, don't listen to him. He only just joined the force and isn't very good with words. You don't look old at all."

Shu Yunwen felt a little better. Look at that—this was how a pretty woman talked.

Hmm! Fine, he couldn't be bothered to argue with an officer who didn't know how to speak!

"...You look fifty at most, and you're in the prime of life..." Sato Miwako continued with a smile.

Caw! Caw! Caw! Caw! Caw!

A flock of crows flew past, minding their own business.

Shu Yunwen felt as if someone had stabbed him in the chest. The whole world seemed full of malice.

Damn it! What did she mean, "fifty at most"? How old did she think he was, then?

Damn it! Those two were awful... He was going to file a complaint! He was definitely going to report them!

"What are your names?" Shu Yunwen asked angrily.

"My name is Sato Miwako. Nice to meet you." Sato Miwako bowed slightly.

"My name is Takagi Wataru. Nice to meet you!" Takagi bowed slightly too.

Sato Miwako? Takagi Wataru?

Officer Sato? Officer Takagi?

The two leads of the Metropolitan Police Detective Love Story?

Shu Yunwen studied their faces for a moment. They did look a bit like their anime counterparts. But...

Impossible! Get out of here!

How could the leads of my favorite series be such a pair of goofballs?

P.S.: La la la~ Kisses, Miwako. I love this scatterbrained officer who's so utterly clueless when it comes to romance~~

So I brought them in this early, and you definitely won't mind, right?

Who? Who said they minded?

If you have a problem, just say so! As for me... I'm not listening anyway~

Not listening~

Not listening~

Not listening~~

^_^