Mistaking the Jade Emperor for My Son at the Start

Primordial World: Mistaking the Jade Emperor for My Son

Author: Jin Jin Tang

Synopsis:

Zhang Yifan had lived in Fengxian County for sixty years after transmigrating there. One day, he encountered the Jade Emperor, who had descended to the mortal realm, outside his home and mistook him for his biological son, who had gone adventuring for twenty years. Zhang Yifan: "You unfilial son, get on your knees and call me Father!" Jade Emperor: "...Father!" Several days later, Tongtian followed the Jade Emperor. The Jade Emperor introduced Tongtian: "Father, this is my sworn brother... the son of Pan Shikou, my grandnephew, Little Tongtong!" Tongtian: ??? He could tolerate being called a sworn brother, but what did "grandnephew" mean? Jade Emperor: "What are you waiting for? Call him Grandpa?..."

Chapter 1: Mistaking the Jade Emperor for My Son at the Start

The mortal realm, Fengxian County.

Today was his birthday. The Jade Emperor was in a light and cheerful mood as he descended to the mortal realm for a stroll. From atop the clouds, he saw the Lord of Fengxian County kneeling devoutly in prayer and preparing a sumptuous offering, so he lowered the clouds. Just as he was about to take a peach, the offering was knocked over!

What the hell! The Jade Emperor's face instantly darkened.

Taibai Jinxing, who was following beside him, trembled in fear.

"Taibai, hear my order. When we return to the Heavenly Court, set up one Noodle Mountain and one Rice Mountain, and place a Copper Lock beside them. The day the dog finishes eating the noodles, the chicken finishes pecking at the rice, and the candle burns through the Copper Lock will be the day Fengxian County receives rain! Otherwise, hmph!"

"Yes." Taibai Jinxing bent at the waist until he was at a ninety-degree angle, cold sweat pouring down his back. He understood that Fengxian County had become a Human Purgatory from that moment onward.

There was nothing he could do. Who told these mortals to offend the Jade Emperor, the orthodox ruler of the Three Realms?

Not to mention these mortals—even a celestial god like him had to tread carefully before the Jade Emperor, walking on thin ice. Serving a ruler was like accompanying a tiger.

The Jade Emperor flung his sleeve unhappily and left Fengxian County. Once he reached the countryside outside the city, he passed by a farm courtyard.

Looking at the simple bamboo-fenced courtyard, the Jade Emperor sighed with emotion. Once upon a time, he, Zhang Bairen, had lived in a courtyard just like this.

Inside the fenced courtyard, Zhang Yifan sat in a rocking chair, eating fruit and basking in the sun.

It had been sixty years since he transmigrated to the Primordial World. That wretched system had made him plant crops and vegetables, cook, brew wine, hunt, raise fish, walk birds, and practice the zither, chess, calligraphy, and painting, among other things.

After sixty years, he had long since trained all those skills to the maximum level.

Yet that wretched system refused to teach him any cultivation techniques.

Not only did it refuse, but the wretched system had also claimed that its host was already invincible throughout the Myriad Worlds and that there was nothing left it could teach him. Then it had actually run off!

Fortunately, at the beginning of his transmigration, the system had given him this house and a million taels of gold. He had also married a beautiful wife to keep him company, so he had lived a comfortable and carefree life.

The truth was that his invincible magical power had been temporarily taken over by the formation within the house. Unable to use his magical power or cultivate any other techniques, Zhang Yifan had always believed himself to be an ordinary mortal.

"That wretched system said my wife had the potential to become a Great Emperor, so it took her to another world to go adventuring. It also said that we would surely meet again one day. My son left to go adventuring early too, leaving me all alone."

"Let me count the days. That rebellious son of mine has been out adventuring for twenty years. It should be time for him to come home."

As Zhang Yifan calculated the date, the Jade Emperor outside the fenced courtyard was moved by the familiar scene and could not help walking in to take a look.

When Zhang Yifan saw the Jade Emperor, his eyes lit up.

Wasn't this exactly the son who had gone out adventuring?

He had even brought along a servant. It seemed his life out there had not been too bad.

"Oh, you're finally back, my good son." The worry weighing on Zhang Yifan's heart finally eased. It was impossible not to worry about his son going adventuring alone.

"Taibai, this mortal seems able to see me."

Seeing the mortal before him staring at him and calling him "good son," the Jade Emperor was puzzled.

Who could blame him? The Jade Emperor's youthful incarnation happened to look exactly like Zhang Yifan's son!

"Your Majesty must be joking. This person is merely a mortal. Since Your Majesty has not revealed his true form, how could he possibly see you?" Taibai Jinxing thought the Jade Emperor was still angry. He glanced at the mortal but paid him no attention.

"Hmm, that's true."

The Jade Emperor nodded. He paid it no mind and was about to walk past Zhang Yifan.

Seeing his son acting this way, Zhang Yifan's expression fell.

Twenty years had passed, and now that he was home, he did not even call him Father! He even dared to ignore him and kept putting on airs, calling himself "Your Majesty" this and "Your Majesty" that. Did he really think he was an emperor now?

Outrageous!

Zhang Yifan leaped up and grabbed the Jade Emperor harshly by the ear. "You unfilial son! Can't you see that I'm your father? Huh? Are you deliberately trying to anger your old man?"

"Ah, easy, easy! It hurts, it hurts! It hurts!"

The Jade Emperor was dumbfounded. He had only just been about to walk past, so how had someone suddenly grabbed him fiercely by the ear? It hurt so much that tears were already welling in his eyes...

"You know it hurts, do you? You unfilial brat!"

"Yes, I know it hurts?" The Jade Emperor was even more confused.

Something was wrong!

He was the dignified Jade Emperor, the orthodox ruler of the Three Realms, with the strength of a Quasi-Saint. How had an old mortal man with no strength to truss a chicken grabbed him by the ear?!

And why did it hurt exactly like when a little child was grabbed by his father?!

This sudden scene nearly scared the soul out of Taibai Jinxing!

What was going on?

The Jade Emperor had actually been grabbed by the ear by a mortal?

The Jade Emperor was even baring his teeth in pain, with tears welling in his eyes!

It was over! It was over! It was completely over.

The Jade Emperor had been attacked from behind. As his attendant, he had failed to help. When they returned to the Heavenly Court, would he not be sent to the Platform of Dismemberment?

Taibai Jinxing shuddered and snapped back to his senses. He hurried forward to help, raising his horsetail whisk to strike Zhang Yifan dead.

"Get lost! I'm teaching my son a lesson, and you, you dog of a servant, dare to interfere!"

Zhang Yifan flew into a rage and kicked Taibai Jinxing three meters away.

Crack, crack, crack...

Taibai clearly heard the sound of his own ribs breaking. At least five or six of them had to be fractured!

Seeing this, the Jade Emperor was stunned. This was a mortal? He would even believe it if someone told him this was a Saint.

Could this really be a Saint's scheme?

No, that was not right. Even a Saint might not be able to grab him by the ear so effortlessly!

What was going on?

"Call me Father!" Zhang Yifan did not loosen his grip and even applied a little more force.

"Father! Father! I was only joking with you!" The Jade Emperor felt as if his ear was about to be torn off. He could only admit defeat and beg for mercy.

A wise man did not fight when the odds were against him. No one else had witnessed this embarrassing scene anyway. He could simply kill this mortal later.

"You were joking? I think your wings have grown hard, and you deliberately tried to anger your father!" Zhang Yifan tugged the Jade Emperor by the ear and drove him forward as though he were carrying a chick.

"Father, go easy! Go easy! Your son knows he was wrong! I really was wrong!" The Jade Emperor continued to apologize. The mortal's large hand was practically an iron clamp, and he could not break free at all.

"Kneel down, kowtow, and call me Father!"

Thump.

"Father!" The Jade Emperor was driven to his knees and immediately called out "Father" as well.

"That's more like it." Only then did Zhang Yifan clap his hands and sit down in the rocking chair.

At that moment, the Jade Emperor's mind was completely blank. He had crashed.

Who was I? Where was I?

Why was I kneeling here and calling a mortal Father?

Taibai Jinxing beside them was even more dumbfounded.

This... this, this, this, this!

The dignified orthodox ruler of the Three Realms, the Jade Emperor of the Heavenly Court, Haotian Shangdi—ever since becoming the Jade Emperor, he had never knelt even before Dao Ancestor Hongjun.

Usually, others were the ones who knelt before him. Yet today, he had actually knelt before a mortal!

Not only had he knelt, but he had even called that person Father!

If this matter spread, the Primordial World would not merely be thrown into turbulent waves—it would be swept by blood and violence as well.

The Jade Emperor, still kneeling, gradually cleared his head. He of course knew that if today's events spread, he would no longer be able to remain the Jade Emperor. He would become the laughingstock of all living beings in the Primordial World.

A murderous glint suddenly arose in the Jade Emperor's eyes. He stood up and swung his fist, intending to kill the mortal before him. But in the next second, he froze.

Where was his magical power?

Where was his cultivation?

Where was his damn magical power?

Where was his damn cultivation?

What the hell!

What was going on?

How had the cultivation of his dignified Quasi-Saint self simply vanished?

"What? What are you swinging your fist for?" Zhang Yifan glared at him.

"I was going to... massage your back! Massage your back! Ah, I must have angered you, Old Father. Let me massage your back and help you cool down!"

The Jade Emperor absolutely could not say that he had wanted to punch Zhang Yifan to death. He could only force himself to say he wanted to massage his back!

"That's more like it!"

Zhang Yifan straightened his body and let the Jade Emperor massage his back.

Beside them, Taibai Jinxing endured the pain and stood up. When he saw the Jade Emperor smiling obsequiously as he massaged the back of this mortal old man, his eyes widened like copper bells.

Who could have imagined it? The supreme ruler of the Three Realms, the Great Heavenly Venerable Haotian Shangdi, was actually massaging a mortal's back with a fawning smile!

Who would believe it if he told them?

It was over. This mortal was absolutely finished.

If he was not cast into the Eighteen Levels of Hell and condemned to eternal damnation, that would be strange!