Primordial Era: Mistakenly Treating the Jade Emperor as My Son at the Start

Primordial Era: Mistook Jade Emperor for Son at the Start

Author: Jīnjīn Táng

Synopsis:

Zhang Yifan transmigrated to Fengxian County sixty years ago. He encountered the Jade Emperor, who had descended to the mortal realm, at his doorstep and mistook him for his own son who had been out adventuring for twenty years. Zhang Yifan: "Rebellious son, why aren't you kneeling to call me Dad?!" Jade Emperor: "...Dad!" Many days later, Tongtian followed the Jade Emperor. The Jade Emperor introduced Tongtian: "Dad, this is my sworn brother... Pan Shikou's son, my eldest nephew, Little Tongtong!" Tongtian: ??? He could tolerate sworn brothers, but what was with "eldest nephew"? Jade Emperor: "Why aren't you calling him Grandpa yet?..."

Chapter 1: Mistook Jade Emperor for Son at the Start

Human Realm, Fengxian County.

Today was his birthday, and the Jade Emperor felt relaxed and happy as he descended to the mortal realm for a stroll. He saw the County Governor of Fengxian County sincerely kneeling and praying from atop the clouds, and saw the abundant offerings prepared. He then descended from the clouds. Who would have thought that just as he was about to take a peach, the offerings would be knocked over!

Damn it! The Jade Emperor's face instantly darkened.

Taibai Jinxing, who was following him, trembled in fear.

"Taibai, heed my command! Upon returning to the Heavenly Court, establish one Noodle Mountain and one Rice Mountain, and also set up a Copper Lock. When the dogs have finished eating the noodles, the chickens have pecked the rice, and the candle has burned through the Copper Lock, that shall be the day Fengxian County receives rain! Otherwise, hmph!"

"Yes." Taibai Jinxing's waist bent at a ninety-degree angle, cold sweat pouring down his back. He understood that Fengxian County would henceforth be a Human Purgatory.

There was no other way; these mortals had offended the legitimate ruler of the Three Realms, the Jade Emperor.

Let alone these mortals, even a celestial being like him had to tread carefully and walk on thin ice before the Jade Emperor. Keeping company with a ruler was like keeping company with a tiger.

The Jade Emperor unhappily flicked his sleeve and left Fengxian County. He arrived at a rural village outside the city.

Looking at this kind of rustic fence yard, the Jade Emperor felt a pang of emotion. Once upon a time, he, Zhang Bairen, had lived in a yard just like this.

In the fenced yard, Zhang Yifan was sitting in a rocking chair, eating fruit and basking in the sun.

He had transmigrated to the Primordial Era world sixty years ago. The damn system had been making him farm and cook, brew wine and hunt, raise fish and walk birds, as well as practice calligraphy, chess, painting, and other arts every single day.

In sixty years, he had already mastered all these skills to the max.

But this damn system refused to teach him cultivation techniques.

Not only did it refuse to teach him, but the damn system also said that the host was already invincible in the Myriad Worlds and that there was nothing left to teach him, so it just ran away!

Fortunately, at the beginning of his transmigration, the system had given him this mansion, along with a million taels of gold. He had also married a beautiful wife who accompanied him, so his life had been quite comfortable and carefree.

In reality, his invincible magical power was temporarily taken over by the mansion's grand formation. Unable to use his magic power or cultivate other techniques, Zhang Yifan had always believed himself to be an ordinary mortal.

"The damn system said my wife had the potential of a Great Emperor, so it took her to another world to adventure, and also said that we would meet again in the future. My son also went out adventuring long ago, leaving me all alone."

"Counting the days, it's about time for my rebellious son, who has been out adventuring for twenty years, to return home."

Zhang Yifan was calculating the days when the Jade Emperor, who was outside the fence yard and moved by the scene, couldn't help but walk in to take a look.

Seeing the Jade Emperor, Zhang Yifan's eyes lit up.

This was exactly his son, who had gone out adventuring and had finally returned.

He even brought a servant along; it seemed he hadn't done too badly.

"Oh ho, good son, you're finally back." Zhang Yifan's anxious heart finally relaxed. He couldn't help but worry about his son adventuring alone.

"Taibai, this mortal seems to be able to see Us."

Seeing the mortal in front of him staring at him and calling him "good son," the Jade Emperor was puzzled.

This was because the Jade Emperor's youthful form happened to look exactly like Zhang Yifan's son!

"Your Majesty jokes. This person is merely a mortal, and Your Majesty has not revealed his true form, so how could he see Us?" Taibai Jinxing thought the Jade Emperor was still angry and glanced at the mortal without paying much attention.

"Hmm, that's true."

The Jade Emperor nodded and, without paying it any mind, was about to walk past Zhang Yifan.

Seeing his son's demeanor, Zhang Yifan's face fell.

Twenty years! He returned home and didn't even call out to his father! He dared to ignore him, acting all high and mighty with "Your Majesty, Your Majesty," as if he really thought he was an emperor!

Preposterous!

Zhang Yifan jumped up and fiercely grabbed the Jade Emperor's ear: "You rebellious son, can't you see your old man? Huh? Intentionally trying to anger your father, are you!"

"Ah, gently, gently, it hurts, it hurts! It hurts!"

The Jade Emperor was stunned. He had just been about to walk past, and now someone had fiercely grabbed his ear, causing him so much pain that tears welled up in his eyes...

"You know it hurts, you unfilial son!"

"Yes, I know it hurts?" The Jade Emperor was even more bewildered.

This was wrong!

How could he, the dignified Quasi-Saint, the legitimate ruler of the Three Realms, the Jade Emperor, be grabbed by the ear by a frail old mortal?!

And it hurt like a little kid being grabbed by the ear by his dad!

This sudden scene terrified Taibai Jinxing, almost making him lose his soul!

What was going on?

The Jade Emperor was being grabbed by the ear by a mortal?

And he was grimacing in pain, tears welling up in his eyes!

It's over! It's over! It's over! I'm screwed.

The Jade Emperor was attacked, and as his attendant, I couldn't help at all. If I go back to the Heavenly Court, won't I end up on the Platform of Dismemberment!

Taibai Jinxing jolted awake and quickly stepped forward to help, raising his horsetail whisk to strike Zhang Yifan.

"Get lost! I'm disciplining my son, and you, a dog slave, dare to interfere!"

Zhang Yifan was furious, kicking Taibai Jinxing three meters away.

Crack, crack, crack...

Taibai clearly heard his ribs breaking, at least five or six bones!

Seeing this, the Jade Emperor was shocked. Was this guy really a mortal? I'd believe you if you said he was a Sage.

Could it be a Sage's scheme?

No, even a Sage might not be able to grab my ear so easily!

What is going on?

"Still not calling me Dad!" Zhang Yifan didn't loosen his grip, even adding a little force.

"Dad! Dad! I was just joking with you!" The Jade Emperor felt like his ear was about to be torn off. He had no choice but to yield, his face begging for mercy.

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A wise man doesn't fight when the odds are against him. Anyway, no one else saw this embarrassing scene. I'll just get rid of this mortal later.

"Joking? I think your wings have hardened, and you're deliberately trying to anger your father!" Zhang Yifan, still holding the Jade Emperor's ear, dragged him along like a chick.

"Dad, be gentle, be gentle! Your son knows he was wrong! Truly wrong!" The Jade Emperor continued to apologize. This mortal's hand was like an iron clamp, completely inescapable.

"Kneel down and kowtow, calling me Dad!"

Thump.

"Dad!" The Jade Emperor was dragged to the ground and knelt down, calling him Dad as he did.

"That's more like it." Zhang Yifan then clapped his hands and sat down on the rocking chair.

Meanwhile, the Jade Emperor's mind went blank, completely frozen.

Who am I, and where am I?

Why am I kneeling here, calling a mortal Dad?

Taibai Jinxing, standing nearby, was even more bewildered.

This, this, this, this, this!

The dignified orthodox ruler of the Three Realms, the Jade Emperor of the Heavenly Court, Haotian Shangdi, had never knelt, not even before the Dao Ancestor Hongjun since becoming the Jade Emperor.

Others had always knelt before him, the Jade Emperor. Today, he actually knelt before a mortal!

Not only did he kneel, but he also called him Dad!

If this news got out, it would not only stir up a monstrous storm in the Primordial Era, but it would also lead to bloodshed.

The kneeling Jade Emperor's mind cleared a little. He knew that if what happened today got out, he wouldn't be able to continue as the Jade Emperor and would be laughed to death by all beings in the Primordial Era.

Killing intent flashed in the Jade Emperor's eyes. He stood up and swung his fist, intending to destroy the mortal before him, but the next second, he froze.

My magic power!

My cultivation!

Where is my magic power!

Where is my cultivation!

My god!

What is going on?

My cultivation as a Quasi-Saint, how did it disappear!

"What, are you trying to do something with that punch?" Zhang Yifan glared.

"Massage... massage your back! Ah, I was just angry with you, old man, so I'll massage your back for you! Calm down!"

The Jade Emperor absolutely dared not say he wanted to beat him to death. He could only meekly say he was massaging his back!

"That's more like it!"

Zhang Yifan straightened his body, allowing the Jade Emperor to massage his back.

Beside them, Taibai Jinxing stood up, enduring the pain, and saw the Jade Emperor grinning as he massaged the mortal old man Zhang Yifan's back. His eyes widened like copper bells in shock.

Who would have thought that the supreme ruler of the Three Realms, Haotian Shangdi the Great Heavenly Venerate, would be fawning over a mortal and massaging his back!

Who would believe it if you told them.

It's over, this mortal is definitely finished.

It's no wonder he'll be thrown into the Eighteen Levels of Hell, never to be reborn!