The Collapse of Absolute Defense, the Bathroom Dungeon Lockout Crisis, and the Whole-Server Social Death Announcement

The morning classes felt a little strange to the students of Class 1-West.

Lu Ren, sitting by the window, looked like a terracotta warrior that had just been unearthed.

During the first period, he kept his hands folded on the desk, without moving an inch.

During the second period, he held his face up with one hand, never changing position.

When it was time for calisthenics, he refused the PE rep's summons, claiming he was "deep in meditation to restore his Chakra."

Even when his mechanical pencil fell to the floor, he merely glanced at it from the corner of his eye, as if it weren't his pencil but a speck of dust in the mortal realm.

"Not going to pick it up?" the girl in front of him asked kindly, turning around.

"No need." Lu Ren looked straight ahead, his voice cold and firm. "It's being punished for leaving its master without permission. Let it reflect on its actions in the cold for a while."

The girl: "..."

Only Kiyosawa Mashiba, sitting at the next desk, knew the truth.

Watching the slight tremor in Lu Ren's eye, she had already seen through everything.

That guy didn't want to move.

He couldn't.

After yesterday's hellish training and this morning's forced startup, Lu Ren's thigh muscles had locked up completely. Now he was like a rusty mech, every joint requiring a massive amount of fuel to move.

Sitting down was a kind of seal.

The moment his butt touched the chair, the muscles at the backs of his thighs would sound a piercing alarm, and any command to stand would be mercilessly rejected by his body's system.

Lu Ren had made up his mind.

Until the club activities started that afternoon, he wouldn't leave this chair, even if the sky came crashing down.

As long as I don't move, the pain can't catch up to me.

However.

Murphy's Law taught us that whenever a player tried to idle their way through a session, the system would spawn a random event.

The third period was barely halfway through.

A sudden, strange cramp twisted Lu Ren's stomach.

[System Warning: The gastrointestinal system has been attacked by an unknown virus! Due to last night's overeating and exposure to the cold, gained Debuff: Signs of an Imminent Spray. ]

[Time until defenses collapse: 10 minutes.]

Lu Ren's face instantly turned from pale to ashen.

Hold it in?

Not a chance.

A summons rooted in biological instinct was damage that no amount of Willpower could resist.

"Teacher." Lu Ren raised his hand, moving as stiffly as a robot. "May I... go to the bathroom?"

After getting permission, Lu Ren took a deep breath and braced both hands on the desk.

[Command input: Stand up.]

[Error: Insufficient power.]

"Get... up!"

Lu Ren gritted his teeth and used the momentum of his upper body to wrench himself upright.

The searing agony in his thigh muscles made him nearly start singing "March of the Volunteers" on the spot.

He shuffled out of the classroom with an eerie zombie gait, one halting step at a time. With every step, he silently deducted one HP from his total.

The boys' restroom.

It was the only lawless place in the school, and Lu Ren's refuge at that moment.

He struggled into the last stall, locked the door, and turned around.

Next came the hardest QTE (Quick Time Event) of this dungeon—squatting down.

"Phew..."

Bracing himself against the partition, Lu Ren lowered himself at a pace of half a centimeter per second, like someone with Parkinson's.

His thighs were screaming.

His knees were wailing.

But with the fine-control skills he'd honed over years of playing Dark Souls, he finally landed safely.

[Quest complete: Memory cleared.]

[Buff gained: Mind and body refreshed.]

Five minutes later.

The toilet flushed, and Lu Ren pulled up his pants with satisfaction.

Everything was perfect.

Except...

He couldn't stand up.

Lu Ren braced both hands on his knees and tried to push himself up.

Nothing.

His thigh muscles were like two slabs of dead meat, completely disconnected from his brain.

He tried grabbing the doorknob, hoping to pull himself up.

"Gah—!!!"

A burst of excruciating pain shot through his nerves, and he collapsed back onto the toilet.

[System Notification: Character has entered the "Paralyzed" state. Unable to move.]

[Please wait for a teammate to rescue you, or choose "Die on the Spot."]

Cold sweat trickled down his temple.

It was over.

Was a legendary Grind King really going to be trapped to death on a toilet in the boys' restroom? If that got out, how could he ever show his face in the gaming world again?

Just then, a cheerful humming came from outside the stall.

Along with the lively sound of footsteps.

That voice...

Lu Ren's eyes lit up.

It was that orange-haired weirdo! The tireless perpetual-motion machine with infinite stamina!

"Hey..."

Lu Ren tapped on the partition, his voice as weak as some kind of earthbound spirit. "Anyone there...?"

The humming stopped abruptly.

"Huh? Who said that?" Hinata Shoyo's voice echoed through the empty restroom.

"Over here..." Lu Ren pushed the stall door open a crack, revealing half of his deathly pale face. "The last stall..."

Hinata Shoyo curiously came closer and saw Lu Ren's despairing face through the crack in the door.

"Ah! It's Lu Ren-senpai!" Hinata's eyes lit up. "Are you practicing horse stance? That's amazing! You're even training while using the bathroom!"

What the hell was he talking about with horse stance?

Lu Ren's mouth twitched. Suppressing the urge to complain, he held out a trembling hand.

"Hinata... I need your help."

"What do you need?"

"Get me... out."

"Huh?"

"My legs... crashed." Lu Ren gritted his teeth. "Give me a hand. Now."

Hinata didn't understand what "crashed" meant, but he was a kindhearted kid.