Cave Bear's Theory of Friendship / Is It All Right Now?

"..."

Cave Bear merely watched her with narrowed eyes, finally noticing that something was troubling her.

"Little girl, did you know that my career hasn't always gone smoothly either? When I was twenty-nine, I faced the first setback of my life. Back then, I thought about killing myself."

He paused.

"But I'm still alive and well."

Chapter 72: Cave Bear's Theory of Friendship

If Ghosts were like real society, then the sudden shift from the sweet life of school to a situation like this would inevitably leave you feeling a stark sense of loss. It was like thinking you were born into a rich family when in reality you were destitute, or thinking your writing was brilliant when in reality nobody wanted to read it.

Miko was in just such a state. Other people couldn't see Ghosts, so they weren't bothered by them. But she could see them, and not only that—she was constantly in mortal danger. The danger was everywhere, and there was no way to avoid it. And just when she was trying to prevent an accident, she saw that other people didn't have to worry about any of this. They even seemed to resent how hard she was to kill. The gulf between them had become impossible to ignore.

It was only natural that her emotions would eventually erupt. Now, after being questioned by her friend and even abandoned by her, she was truly on the verge of breaking down. It was a wonder she could still hold back all the terrible, negative thoughts inside her.

A lot of people had felt this way, but having felt it didn't mean they could recognize it in others. Cave Bear understood it all too well, though. He had keenly noticed the emotion in Miko's eyes, and it moved him deeply. He wasn't the only one who had noticed, either, though the other person who had still doubted what she was seeing.

"When I was twenty-nine, I was still in my prime physically. Just when I thought I could keep winning forever, I suffered the most crushing defeat of my life. I lost to a kid younger than me."

In a private dining room at the hotel, Cave Bear had finished lunch and was sipping his tea. He spoke about his experience as if it were nothing.

"So the media finally abandoned me. The honors, the money—it all disappeared. I started being ignored. They turned their attention to that kid with more potential, and the spectators and fans couldn't care less about a loser."

"Can you understand how that feels?"

Cave Bear set down his teacup and looked at Yotsuya Miko.

"In that moment, I felt like I'd lost the whole world. No—I felt like the whole world had abandoned me. No one sympathized with me, and I felt hurt and resentful. All the years of hard work I'd put in had gone up in smoke. I couldn't accept the result at all. So I started training like crazy, but that guy really was more talented than me. All my efforts after that didn't bring me a single victory."

"In that kind of pain, I thought about killing myself."

"Suicide? Was it really necessary to go that far?"

Yuria looked incredulous.

"I mean, it's just—"

"Little girl, if people kept ignoring you, wouldn't you feel awful?"

Cave Bear looked at her and pointed to Miko beside her.

"What if she distanced herself from you? Didn't trust you? Even hated you? How would you feel?"

Those words finally left Yuria speechless. She seemed to understand a little of how Miko felt after Hana abandoned her.

"But you didn't do it."

"No, I did. I just didn't succeed."

Cave Bear shook his head, his expression hard to describe.

"I was too strong, and my weight snapped the rope before it could choke me. I stood out too much, and people gathered to watch when I tried to drown myself, so I couldn't go through with it. I was too much of a coward to cut my wrists. And when I finally worked up the nerve, I hit the knife against something else, and the blade suddenly broke. It was completely useless. Finally, when I bought sleeping pills, they were expired, and I ended up in the hospital getting my stomach pumped."

As he spoke, he grinned.

"Hahaha—I guess God really didn't want me to die, so I kept living until I heard that kid had been in a car accident. Compared to my good luck, he had terrible luck. One accident took his life."

"Uh, so you..."

Yuria's expression turned strange.

"So you got everything back?"

"That's right."

Cave Bear was still smiling.

"I got everything back. Before his accident, I'd even thought that if the competition hadn't happened before he crashed, I might never have come to terms with it. But I got lucky."

"...I suppose that counts as luck."

Miko looked at him quietly. After hearing his story, she was still confused about her own situation.

"Wasn't it all because of your own hard work, Mr. Cave Bear?"

"The answer is your state of mind."

Cave Bear shook his head and gave her a completely different answer.

"Listen, little girl. I don't know what happened to you or what role you're playing in it. Nothing can be predicted. You and I met by chance, but for all I know, God didn't want me to die so He sent me here to give you some advice. So I was happy to share my experience."

"My state of mind?"

Looking at the tough man before her, Yotsuya Miko gave a reluctant nod, accepting his advice. She mulled over what he meant, then looked at Yuria.

"Yuria, if you and a friend had a falling-out, what would you do?"

"Me?"

Yuria pointed at herself and was about to answer when Cave Bear suddenly spoke.

"If it was my fault, I'd apologize. If it was his fault, I'd fight him first, then apologize."

"What if it was something you couldn't tell the other person?"

"Something you can't tell them?"

Cave Bear stroked his beard and looked at Miko.

"Is it important?"

"It might hurt her."

"Then please tell her."

Cave Bear gave his answer from the perspective of someone who had been through it.

Keeping it from her would hurt her too. It meant you didn't trust your friend. It was selfish.

"My selfishness?"

Yotsuya Miko froze, bewildered by what he meant.

"Yes. You're treating her like something that belongs to you, not like your friend. One person giving everything to the other while refusing to let the other give anything in return—that isn't friendship. It's more like love."

Cave Bear was blunt, then took a sip of tea.

"Only love makes people that blind."

Miko was slightly stunned by his words. She instinctively touched her face.

Good. It wasn't red or hot.

"Friends are equals who give and take. They naturally avoid prying into each other's business and think of others from their own perspective. That's what trust is. So even if you don't tell her about this, if you speak to her sincerely, she'll trust you again. That's my answer."

Chapter 73: Is It All Right Now?

Cave Bear left. He had a busy schedule, and an important competition was waiting for him. Before leaving, he took a photo with Miko and Yuria.

"Let's say it's a memento of my visit."

He grinned as he spoke. He didn't think what he'd encountered today had been so bad. At least, when he thought of the girl named Yotsuya Miko now, he felt much more at ease.

"Mm."

Miko watched the car drive away, then quietly looked at the photo on her phone—the one of all three of them. Then she turned to Yuria.

"Come with me somewhere."

"Where?"

Yuria looked at her, confused, then glanced at the photo on her own phone. She felt a strange emotion. In the picture, Cave Bear had both hands resting on their heads. His strong arms made her feel as if, at any moment, their heads might end up looking like watermelons on a beach.

"The fortune-telling shop."

"The fortune-telling shop? You mean Godmother's... But isn't it closed?"

Yuria asked in confusion, turning a puzzled look toward Miko. But Miko didn't explain. She simply closed her eyes and confirmed her resolve once more. After Cave Bear's lecture, she had finally pulled herself together and decided to do something.

The premonition that had vanished after the Kimono Ghost appeared once again in her mind, urging her to go somewhere.

"No. Someone's there now."

"Who? Hana?"

"Rom."

Outside the fortune-telling shop, a man wearing a magician's hat leaned dejectedly against the wall, idly playing with a stone in his hand. People passed along the street, chatting noisily.

Rom waited there, listening to them. He heard things like rumors about the Silver Balls.

Looking at the stone in his hand, he thought that the so-called Silver Balls were much the same kind of thing, though they probably contained far more Spiritual Power. Then he thought of the "Deity of the Silver Ball" and uncomfortably pulled his magician's hat a little lower.

An object made by a deity?

What had happened to him in childhood had made him hate things like gods. Naturally, he couldn't feel any fondness for these so-called "Silver Balls," either. If there really were gods, why hadn't they saved him, too?

Remembering the past, Rom's mouth twitched, and bitterness filled his face.

"I wrote a letter to the old woman. Well, I hope she gets here soon."

Looking at the still-closed fortune-telling shop, he played with the stone again, idly listening to passersby. He couldn't help thinking about what had happened today, unsure what he should do.

"Were you planning to kill yourself today, Mr. Rom?"

The blunt, jarring words rang in his mind. The stone stopped moving in Rom's hand. He sighed and looked at the psychic he had met only once before, Yotsuya Miko.

"Miss Yotsuya, you really do have a way of saying things that leaves me baffled. I wasn't planning to..."

"You've made up your mind, haven't you?"

Miko abruptly cut off his feigned cheerfulness and looked at him seriously. Her golden eyes stared straight into his heart.

"Today, you're going to deal with that monster in the mountains."

"..."

Rom fell silent for a moment, then smiled and looked at the blonde girl beside her.

"It's not a good idea to drag unrelated people into this. They wouldn't understand what we're talking about anyway."

"What are you two talking about?"

Yuria couldn't help speaking up. Their conversation sounded like riddles.

"Is this about ghosts? I mean, I am pretty weak, but I'm not exactly an ordinary person, am I?"

"...Another psychic?"

"Technically, she's an ordinary person who can see a little."

Miko glanced at the fortune-telling shop beside them and sighed.

"Do you know Godmother? I want her to teach Yuria a few things."

"You mean Granny Saegusa? I know her very well. But—is that why you came?"

Rom smiled at Miko, trying to see what lay behind her slightly cold eyes. He realized the girl hadn't come just to find a teacher for the one beside her, the girl named "Yuria."

"No. I want to kill that monster and gain resources for myself."

That was what Miko said. Looking at Rom, she explained herself more clearly.

"That monster's Soul Body is a way for me to get stronger."

Rather than agonize over how weak she was and fear the death she might face, she would keep getting stronger until she could completely ignore the difference between what she could and couldn't see.

"Is that so?"

Rom didn't understand, but instinctively chose to refuse.

"That monster is really strong. Even you might have a hard time dealing with it."

"Then do you really think you can handle it, Rom?"

Miko retorted, simply looking at him and getting straight to the point.

"Your expression gave you away. That's why I asked if you were planning to kill yourself."

Under her Spiritual Sense, even the slightest emotional shift couldn't escape her. She sensed every one of them. No matter how much Rom denied it, his lies were still lies, and she couldn't believe them.

"...Your ability really is unreasonable."

Rom rubbed the ends of his hair and tucked the stone into his pouch. Giving up on denying it, he admitted the truth outright.