Volume Five: Return from the Other Shore, Chapter 417: Baptism

An encounter with someone and certain experiences led her to develop a slight sense of self.

A sizzling sound rang out as extremely fine threads of flesh peeled from her skin, clinging to the iron nails and chains, wriggling incessantly. She was reversing the sealing technique, and after initially breaking through it, all that remained was brute force to break through.

"I want to go find Xiao Wu..."

But the scent of Xiao Wu that we captured back then has long since dissipated. Where can we find it now? How can we find it?

Should they just force their way into the Revolutionary Army and call out her name?

This will only make the situation more complicated.

A wizard is needed.

A pass that would allow her to move freely within the Revolutionary Army.

Where are such people?

What a coincidence!

Isn't there one right here in the courthouse today?

"Nid Bradwich ..."

Just how much torture did this body endure?

Are there any unbroken bones left in his body?

Are there any muscles that haven't been torn?

Is there even one piece of intact skin left?

Are there any organs that are not exposed?

If this is a trial, when will it ever end?

If this is fate, what a tragic life this is!

If this is punishment for failing to protect my sister, have I now atoned for my sins?

Why didn't I realize it in the first few days?

To endure the torture inflicted by this man named Selace was an incredibly painful experience.

Selace was a genius at torture. Keeping his subjects conscious while enduring inhuman pain was just the beginning; he had countless ways to make them struggle between life and death. It wasn't just physical torture, but also immense mental pressure. Selace would always thoughtfully tell them how many Revolutionary Army the Heavenly Law had discovered and slaughtered while on campaign, and this, mixed with the despair of enduring endless suffering in a confined space, made even death seem like a pleasure in comparison.

However, he didn't die and remained "alive" the whole time. Every time he was about to die, Selace would stop and inject him with all sorts of secret drugs to keep him alive, so that he wouldn't die. This was never a break. The drugs that Selace injected were extremely potent, and could even force the body, which should have died, to split and repair itself. This feeling of forced physical regeneration was comparable to having your skin peeled off.

What day is it today?

In the dimly lit room with only a small lamp, the concept of time had long been lost; perhaps not even a day had passed, or perhaps several months had already gone by.

It hurts so much.

I really want it to end soon.

But--

The scene has changed.

No longer a dimly lit torture chamber, but an ancient battlefield filled with smoke and littered with corpses.

Nid remained motionless in the center of the ancient battlefield, still bound to a chair-like instrument of torture—his eyelids had long since been torn off.

The Saint Emperor leaned casually against the instruments of torture, like an audience member watching a farcical comedy.

That familiar yet irritating voice was still whispering in Nid's ear.

"Want it to end quickly? Just die, right? Even with your body mangled like this, you can still move, right? Even a minor scratch, if you use your power to transmit it to your heart, would be fatal."

"..."

"If your dear sister has been the only pillar supporting you all along, now that pillar has collapsed, you should completely collapse too."

"..."

"But why are you still alive? Dying is often much simpler than living. Once you die, you won't have to suffer anymore. Once you die, you can reunite with your sister in another world."

"No..."

"... Um?"

Nid spoke for the first time.

"I... I still... don't want to die."

Why? Is there anything in this world that you still cherish?

"I... still have a mission... still have things I must do..."

"... A mission? Something we have to do?"

The Saint Emperor let out a merciless sneer, leaving Nid and stepping onto the battlefield, his back to him.

What is this so-called mission? And what must be done?

"Of course... it is..."

"Is it the same old rhetoric again? 'I am the leader of the Revolutionary Army! I will overthrow the corrupt and tyrannical Papacy and save the people from suffering! I am willing to dedicate my life to this!'"

"..."

"Look at you! This burden forced upon you has turned you into this mess! You've already lost your sister, your freedom, and so much more! Even so, are you still going to deceive yourself with this instilled false ideal? I ask you, Nid Bradwich— "

An ancient, sharp sword was instantly drawn, its tip pressed against Nid's throat.

"--Now that things have come to this, are you still willing to be a vessel for thoughts? Are you willing to be a tool forced to sacrifice your life for a grand goal that has been forced upon you? Are you willing to erase yourself and become a complete clown? Your life, your soul, your body, your will, your destiny—are they truly yours or someone else's? Answer me, Nid!"

"Of course... it is..."

Whose is it?

People oppressed by the Vatican? The weak struggling at the bottom of society? Revolutionary comrades fighting for the same goal? His sister who has always supported him?

What exactly is it?

"--What exactly are we fighting for?"

"Um?"

Loxue tossed her long, snow-white hair aside and asked Nid, who was resting under the shade of a tree after finishing his sword practice.

"I ask you, when you inherit the cause of your predecessors, what will you fight for?"

"For what..."

Nid lowered his head.

The hard, familiar feel of the iron sword he used to practice with came from his palm.

The hesitation lasted only a moment; Nid quickly gave the standard answer.

"Just as the teachers said, the greatest cause is to fight to liberate the people of the West Saint Continent from the Holy See."

"... Is that really so?"

Looking at Nid like this, Loxue momentarily revealed a sorrowful expression that didn't match her still-childish face.

"Sister? Did I... say something wrong?"

"No, you're right, Nid, there's nothing wrong with that answer..."

Loxue put down her book and hugged her younger brother, who, although young, was already a head taller than her.

"This answer is good enough. Just think of it this way, and it will actually make things easier, right?"

Relax a bit?

Why would this actually make things easier?

"Following the path shown to you saves you the trouble of finding your own way."

This is what the former commander-in-chief, Nid's grandfather, said.

"I... don't quite understand what you're saying."

"Just think of it as an old man talking to himself... Honestly, from my perspective, I shouldn't be saying things like that."

"...?"

"Although some things shouldn't be said carelessly... well, just consider it the whimsical grumbling of an old man. Nid, you've officially inherited the position of Commander-in-Chief now, what have you learned?"

"As for the gains... the first few battles after taking this position were won very smoothly, the cadres also expressed their support for me, and the resettlement of the people has been quite good."

"Haha, exactly the same answer I gave when I was young. But, Nid, what I want to know is—what have you, 'yourself,' gained?"

What did we gain?

Nid was speechless for a moment.

What did I gain? Did I discover that I still harbor pity when facing enemies? Did I find that victory brings no joy, only emptiness? Did I discover that the road ahead is more treacherous than I anticipated? Did I discover that I can only fight with peace of mind when my sister is around?

"Or let me rephrase the question: Don't you have something you want?"

What I want is--

The liberation of the mainland? A harmonious and happy people? A new society free from oppression?

This is what others want; this is what the revolution wants.

Once all this is truly realized, where will I go? Will I ascend to the position of ruler? Or will I quietly fade from people's sight? When a warrior leaves the battlefield, when a leader is no longer needed by his people, where will I be placed after the chaos ends?

Will it simply become dust in the past?

"Stop joking..."

If that's all there is to it, what has all my hard work meant? What did my sister's death mean?

Is it merely to lead a large group of people to the other side of victory, watch them enjoy the fruits of their hard-won labor, and then be deemed "no longer needed" by them? What will they do? Write themselves a flowery, empty heroic biography to glorify themselves? Erect a few statues to commemorate the sacrifices of the past?

And then? And then nothing. His ancestors' teachings only instructed him to overthrow the corrupt and tyrannical papacy, but they didn't tell him what to do after victory. The path they pointed out ended at "revolutionary victory." At that time, everyone would joyfully celebrate the arrival of a new era. As for himself? He would have lost his lifelong goal, wouldn't know where the road ahead lay, and would have no reason to fight anymore. He had even lost his dearest sister. Was this the ending he wanted? Was this the reward for all his hard work?

You must be joking!

"Who truly holds the power—'you' or 'the leader of the Revolutionary Army '?"

Seeing Nid struggling to his feet with his sword, panting heavily, Yang Yujie sneered.

"All of this has ultimately transformed you into a charismatic and popular revolutionary leader... But, strip away this glamorous and powerful facade, what are you left with?"

"What remains... is myself, my most authentic self."

I don't know when it started, but when faced with this man's questioning, I'm no longer so quick to deny it.

"From the very beginning, you were like a sacrifice, using indoctrinated ideas to represent your will, masking your immature inner self with fragile strength, having no choice but to bear an unbearable burden with your young arms..."

"Probably. I've always been afraid—afraid of the future, afraid of failure, afraid of having nothing but my sister and the ideals forced upon me."

I'm already exhausted. I'm completely fed up with using a glamorous exterior to hide my true self.

"Grand Master of the Blood Blade Knights, your strength is undeniable, but behind that facade stands not a towering man, but a... young boy who is forcing himself to shoulder the revolutionary cause with his youthful body."

A teenager?

"I'm sorry, but there's one thing I don't want to admit... I'm also annoyed that you always treat me like a little brat."

At least, please call me a man.

The grief of losing a loved one, the pain of physical torture, and the torment of mental oppression seem to have nothing to fear anymore.

If this is a trial, then persevere to the end like a man.

If this is fate, then accept it calmly, like a real man.

If this is punishment for failing to protect your sister, then wipe away your tears and face it calmly.

No matter what situation she ended up in, her sister would still treat her gently.

"Nid! Honestly, you were a bit too reckless in this battle. Luckily, you only suffered minor injuries..."

Another battle has ended.

Nid was injured; although it wasn't serious, it would be troublesome to leave it unattended.

When there was a shortage of medics, my sister would personally bandage my wounds.

With the gentlest words and the gentlest actions, I dispel my exhaustion and calm my heart, which has been agitated by the battle.

That's a fatal kind of tenderness that makes people unconsciously dependent on it.

"Hurry up, let me bandage you. Hold this end of the bandage—"

"..."

When exactly did I begin to rely on this gentleness?

When did this gentleness become my pillar of support?

And when did it become a shackle binding me?

Nid looked at the hand holding the bandages outstretched towards him, but did not go forward.

"... Nid?"

Because he loves Loxue, because he relies on Loxue's gentleness, and because he sees her as his pillar, he is able to carry this heavy burden on his shoulders.

That's why I had to suppress my ego and my emotions, and carry this burden to keep fighting.

They were willing to become idols without a self, willing to become tools to guide the revolution to victory.

"I'm so sorry, Sister Xue..."

"What's wrong? Why are you suddenly saying that?"

Nid reached behind him and grasped the cold, hard hilt of the Greatsword.

This familiar touch always puts him at ease.

Only when he holds a sword does he truly feel alive.

"I used to think, 'The only two things in this world that can give me peace of mind are this sword and your hand, Sister Xue ...'"

Holding the Greatsword in my hand, the familiar blade, the familiar weight.

"Now, it seems one of these two things will have to be reduced."

"Nid ..."

He took one last look at this woman called "older sister," etching her image into his heart.

He will forever remember the only woman he ever loved.

He will forever remember the woman who supported him, accompanied him, encouraged him, and bound him.

Then, for the first time, he turned around and left her.

"Nid? Where are you going!?"

Ignoring his sister's calls from behind, he dragged his still-wounded body, clutching his most loyal companion, and left the camp, left home, and left his dearest family.

Leave behind the shackles called gentleness, leave behind the nest of self-escape, and abandon the ancestral precepts that you have always regarded as maxims.

He waited outside, the Emperor-Slaying Divine Sword in his hand, reflecting the sunlight filtering through the clouds of the ancient battlefield.

"Have you found the answer, Nid Bradwich?"

"Ah, of course--"

The sunlight was so dim, yet the gleam of the sword blade was unusually dazzling.

The moment their eyes met, they took action simultaneously.

Charge forward. Draw your sword.

Pierce.

Victory or defeat can be decided in a single blow.

"--I'm truly tired of fighting for others."

Warm blood flowed down the blade and onto Nid's hand.

The blood of a king.

My own blood.

The two are mixed together, indistinguishable from one another.

"From this day forward, I will not be swayed by anyone; I will fight only for myself, for my own aspirations..."

Then, he pulled the Greatsword out of the opponent's chest.

"... until the last drop of blood is shed!"

Letting the splattered blood fall on him, Nid sheathed his Greatsword, and the Saint Emperor, now without his support, slowly collapsed.

"... Oh."

The Saint Emperor smiled softly.

That was a laugh that was different from the previous sneers; it was a laugh of admiration.

"If this is your own choice..."

The shadow that had been hanging over the Saint Emperor's face for so long dissipated.

Emerging from the shadows was Nid's face.

"Then let's keep going, Nid. Perfect timing... a little friend who can save you is almost here."

"Reverse deduction complete..."

In the pitch-black room, Sin Annihilation's eyes were fully open, his silver pupils gleaming with a dangerous light.

A surge of power is gathering in his limbs, and he will soon be able to break through the seal completely in one fell swoop.

"Seal... Released!"