Don't Stick Your Nose Where It Doesn't Belong

The carriage returned to the county town, but didn't head straight to the Xu Residence. Since it was lunchtime, Xiao He took the two of them to eat bowls of pork noodles at a street-side shop.

The pork was tender and succulent without falling apart, its rich aroma complemented by a hearty broth. The noodles were smooth but not greasy, blending perfectly with the savory soup. Every bite was a tantalizing treat for the taste buds and brought a rush of happiness.

Xiang Yuan ate three bowls in a row and silently gave Xiao He a thumbs-up. Doubi might not have been good for much, but he sure knew how to eat, drink, and have fun.

After lunch, Xiao He found a bookstore and had the handscroll he'd hastily acquired remounted. Only then did they climb back into the carriage and leisurely make their way to the Xu Residence.

On the way, the two young masters bought roast chicken, braised dishes, steamed buns, and other food. They planned to eat their fill before nightfall, build up their strength, and then battle the female ghost for three hundred rounds.

Seeing how fired up the two of them were, and how much they seemed to have in mind when it came to getting frisky, Xiang Yuan sighed inwardly. It looked like he couldn't count on them tonight.

There was still plenty of time before dark, so Xiang Yuan wandered around the Xu Residence, studying the surrounding layout in case anything unexpected happened. He didn't need to confuse the female ghost—he just hoped he wouldn't get lost himself.

He spotted the old well in the back courtyard. He'd assumed its water would be ice-cold and that he wouldn't be able to get near it, but it had been abandoned for years and was weighed down by a millstone.

Knowing there was a ghost inside, he could feel wisps of cold air seeping through the cracks. He didn't dare look for long and quickly left.

With nothing else to do, Xiang Yuan found a quiet corner and sat cross-legged to cultivate. He started with meditation and mental cultivation, then practiced his saber techniques and martial arts. The contrast between him and the two in the next room couldn't have been starker.

As for the two jokers, Xu Jixian wasn't a bad person. Knowing that the old servant at home was in poor health, and fearing the female ghost would frighten him, he gave him some silver and told him to spend the night at an inn.

Night fell beneath dim stars and a dark moon.

The wind swept through the courtyard, making the trees that had gone untended for years sway. A draft whistled through the halls, and every so often a door slammed, sending chills down the spine.

Xiang Yuan felt a nervous tremor in his heart. The atmosphere was already this ominous before the ghost had even arrived. What would it be like once she showed up?

Xiao He and Xu Jixian, utterly carefree, were eating steamed buns and playing finger-guessing games. They showed no fear at all. Xiang Yuan suppressed his dread, held his saber, and closed his eyes to rest, affecting an air of nonchalance.

He couldn't chicken out. No matter what, he couldn't lose to those two jokers.

The wind gradually died down. At some point, a white mist appeared outside, driven by some unknown force. It shrouded the courtyard and cut it off from the outside world, blotting out the dim stars and hiding the dark moon. Everything fell unnaturally silent.

A pair of large hands parted the mist. Amid its swirling tendrils, a woman in white floated out, as though she were "walking."

Her dress was immaculate, its hem swaying in the wind. Her black hair moved to some strange rhythm, as if it were one with the surrounding mist.

Her face was as pale as paper, and her thin lips were so red they seemed ready to drip blood. Her features were like an ink painting—beautiful, to be sure, but stiff and expressionless, her hollow eyes devoid of life. An icy chill radiated from her that made the blood run cold.

She was here!

Xiang Yuan's spiritual sense had grown powerful, and his senses were exceptionally sharp. The air in the room seemed to thin at her arrival, and every breath brought a bone-deep chill.

He snapped his eyes open and clutched his saber. The momentum he'd been building burst forth like a roaring tiger, sweeping away all the mist that had crept through the doorway.

The woman—or rather, the female ghost—paused in surprise and hesitated outside the door.

When a person was fierce, even ghosts were afraid.

Unlike Xiang Yuan, who was on full alert, Xiao He was downright brazen. Relying on the protection of Wang Wenxu's calligraphy, he stared at the female ghost with wide eyes.

Her features were delicate, her skin whiter than snow, her figure full, her waist slender. Her brows were tinged with sorrow, making her look utterly pitiful. She was certainly a bedchamber beauty.

Xiao He's lips curled into an unconscious grin. Just as he was about to swallow, he heard a gulp from beside him.

"Dear, you've finally come! Hurry in, and I'll introduce you to my two brothers."

Xu Jixian rose in a daze, having lost his wits. He'd apparently forgotten that the person before him was a ghost. The eerie mist all around was completely invisible to him.

Clang!

Xiang Yuan drew his long saber. The blade scraped against its sheath, and the grating sound jolted Xu Jixian awake. With thunder at his ears and a tiger at his side, he shuddered and retreated behind Xiao He.

"Hurry, hurry, give me the master's calligraphy!"

"Get lost. I begged for it!"

Because of Xiang Yuan, the female ghost's attempt to seduce them had failed. She stared coldly at the nuisance, the corners of her stiff mouth lifting into a smile that wasn't quite a smile.

Since he'd come, she might as well stay and make an extra dish of him.

A flash of cold light shot from her eyes. Xiang Yuan's vision blurred. He shook his head, and when he looked again, a beautiful woman was dancing in the white mist. Her clothes hung loose, her eyes were hazy, and her cheeks were flushed as though she were drunk—or swept up in desire. One garment after another drifted to the ground, revealing glimpses of her pale arms and long legs and making him want to move closer for a better look.

Coy invitations filled the air, seductive sounds teasing at his heart.

Xiang Yuan felt a wave of heat rise within him. His spiritual sense was powerful; even when he could use only a third of it, it far surpassed that of an ordinary Qi Refining Stage cultivator. Realizing that the ghost had bewitched his eyes, he bit his tongue to resist her charm, returned the saber to its sheath, then drew it again, channeling the might of a fierce tiger.

The draw didn't shatter the illusion, but it did preserve his clarity of mind. At least the female ghost wasn't quite as alluring as before.

Just some run-of-the-mill stuff. There was plenty of it online.

Meanwhile, Xiao He and Xu Jixian were in trouble. Lost in the beauty of the woman, they danced along with the gorgeous female ghost, exchanging flirtatious glances as they began to undress and made their way toward the door.

"Xiao Forty, wake up! That's a wicked ghost's illusion!" Xiang Yuan blocked Xiao He with his saber, keeping him from looking at the female ghost outside.

"What's wrong with living for what's in your pants? I'm telling you, don't stick your nose where it doesn't belong. I like watching this!"

Xiang Yuan's face darkened. He cursed inwardly and kicked Xiao He back to where he'd been.

Then he kicked Xu Jixian back to his place, held both of them down by the shoulders, and shouted, "Stop looking! Listen to me. Hold your breath and clear your minds. Don't let yourselves get distracted. Focus your thoughts on a single point."

"That's hard. I can only focus on two points," Xiao He said, his face glowing with desire.

"Don't hold me back! A lecher like me is only making rice more expensive for everyone else. Let me out!" Xu Jixian struggled with all his might.

To hell with you two!

Xiang Yuan knew he couldn't wake them, so he knocked them both out. He took the long handscroll hanging from Xiao He's lower back, unrolled it, and aimed the four characters "People Have Intentions" at the female ghost outside.

There was no golden light, nor did thunder descend from the heavens. Yet the female ghost reacted as if she'd met her nemesis. With a scream, her illusion shattered.

Her alluring figure swelled, and her seductive curves lost their beauty. Her pale skin split, crisscrossed with cracks that revealed a pitch-black, charred wooden body beneath. Even her once-pitiable face had become hideously twisted.

Now that was more like it!

Xiang Yuan's eyes lit up. At last, he'd set things right after Xiao He and Xu Jixian had bent the whole scene out of shape.

As Wang Wenxu's calligraphy unfurled, the female ghost screamed again and again. The mist around her contracted, and she pulled back, trying to flee.

Xiang Yuan wouldn't let her. Since she was already here, she might as well leave him some experience and teach him how to kill a ghost.

Holding his saber in one hand and the calligraphy in the other, he charged out of the room like a fierce tiger descending the mountain. A flash of white light cut through the air, and the female ghost and the mist split in two.

The ghost didn't die. The mist reformed and gathered together, though her figure had grown much fainter.

As long as she had a health bar, he could handle her!

Xiang Yuan had found the knack of it. His saber strikes grew even fiercer as he chased the female ghost out of the courtyard and into the covered walkway.

"Good heavens—spit! How could your dear wife look so terrifying?"

With the illusion gone, Xiao He slowly came to. He stared in horror at Xu Jixian beside him, then said admiringly, "Brother Xu, you could really stomach that? You truly don't turn anyone away."

"She didn't look like that last night. You're just jealous..." Xu Jixian refused to back down, as stubborn as ever.

The two stared at each other. After a startled cry, they rushed out of the room and reached the gate of the Xu Residence as quickly as they could.

Xiao He was about to open the gate when he heard fighting behind him. His hands stopped in midair. "That wouldn't be right. If we leave now, we'd be letting Brother Yuan down after he protected us. We absolutely can't."

"If we go back, we'll only get in the way. What if the ghost bewitched us again?" Xu Jixian said hesitantly.

"Don't worry. Your big brother has another way. I guarantee the female ghost won't lay a finger on either of us."

"Tell me quickly. We'll go help Brother Yuan hold the line," Xu Jixian said gallantly.

" I read in a book that the best way to deal with a female ghost who drains people's yang energy is to shit your pants. She'll find it disgusting and leave you alone." Xiao He spoke with conviction. He couldn't kill a ghost, but he could still keep himself safe. He urged Xu Jixian to demonstrate.

"What a rotten idea."

Xu Jixian cursed, then strode through the gate.

A moment later, he hurried back, slammed the gate shut, and pressed his back against it.

"Hey, Brother Xu, why are you back?"

"It's not that. There's another one outside."