If I Were an Onion?

Onion Lady is, after all, Onion Spirit who has lived for three hundred years. She has a huge amount of demonic energy stored in her body—although this demonic energy is useless to her and can only be used to scare people.

But demonic energy is demonic energy!

If her body is cut up and used as food, and there's no special culinary deity to remove the demonic energy, then that demonic energy will enter the consumer's body along with the food.

If an ordinary person eats it, they will be infected by the demonic energy.

If you're lucky, you might go insane and become an idiot, then go around killing and causing trouble until you kill yourself.

Those with bad luck might even be infected by demonic energy and become half-human, half-demon beings... and they wouldn't even know how they died.

Even for cultivators, it would be very troublesome if they didn't have enough cultivation to refine this part of the demonic energy!

"You want to use me as a cooking ingredient? I'll grant your wish!"

Therefore, when Mom Song stir-fried Onion Spirit later, it was so easy for it to cook quickly after just a quick dip in the oil—that was because the Onion Spirit was actively cooperating with Mom Song.

"Once you've swallowed it, don't even think about spitting it out. Just endure the torment of the demonic energy, hehehehe. You can't catch a wolf without risking your cub, I'm so clever," Onion Lady said smugly.

Then, the Onion Lady, now only a scallion root, crawled out of Song Shuhang's pocket and into another pocket, where the 'Enlightenment Stone' was still stored.

Onion Lady's roots clung to the Enlightenment Stone, and she began to calculate in her mind. "Once I catch my breath and regain some strength, I can escape with this gem... and I can also take that precious sword with me. That sword is truly sharp; one strike easily sliced my body into pieces."

Tsk tsk, although I lost my body, I got a gem and a treasured sword in return. It's worth it!

The demonic energy began to spread from his stomach throughout Song Shuhang's body, and the chaotic demonic energy subtly impacted his consciousness.

Song Shuhang silently circulated the 'True Self Meditation Scripture,' his True Self sitting steadily in his Sea of Consciousness, maintaining a clear mind. He began to try to convert the heat in his body into Blood Qi. If he could, he would have struck it rich.

At this moment, a large amount of spiritual energy surged from the body of Venerable White beside him. This spiritual energy was generated when Venerable White absorbed the spiritual energy of heaven and earth and integrated it into his body during his cultivation.

When this spiritual energy gathers towards Venerable White, a small portion is drawn to Song Shuhang's body—this is why, in the Cultivation World, sometimes when a teacher goes into seclusion, disciples vie to guard the entrance to their cave, and this is the reason why.

When powerful cultivators go into seclusion to cultivate, they naturally attract a large amount of spiritual energy. If the disciples guarding the gate seize the opportunity, they can also get some of the spiritual energy, which is quite enjoyable.

At the same time, each time these spiritual energies washed over Song Shuhang's body, they would automatically expel a small portion of demonic energy from him...

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Song Shuhang continued cultivating, and before he knew it... he had fallen asleep.

Then, he had a dream.

He dreamt that he... turned into a giant green onion!

Following the strange dreams of the Altar Master and the rogue cultivator Li Tiansu, has he now turned into a giant scallion?

The saying goes, "Practice makes perfect."

Song Shuhang is no longer alarmed by his strange dreams. He knows he is about to begin experiencing other people's lives again.

The reason he dreamt of the Altar Master's life was because the Altar Master's dying curse had turned into Resentful Ghost, haunting him and causing him to experience the Altar Master's tragic life...

The reason I dreamt of the life of the rogue Li Tiansu is because a part of Li Tiansu's memories merged with Spirit Ghost, which was then contracted by Song Shuhang, thus experiencing a part of Li Tiansu's life...

Now I'm dreaming that I've turned into a giant green onion... Needless to say, it's because I ate Onion Spirit, and then I started dreaming about her life experiences, right?

At that moment, Song Shuhang felt himself being held by a large, broad hand. That hand was so warm that he didn't want to leave.

Then, the owner of the giant hand led Shuhang 'Big Green Onion' to a very high mountain peak, with a large forest on one side and a clear stream on the other.

"We've arrived," the owner of the large hand said, his voice booming like thunder from the Nine Heavens, each word seemingly accompanied by the great Dao of heaven and earth.

Judging from this scene of memory, could it be from more than three hundred years ago—or even longer—when the Onion Spirit was planted? Song Shuhang wondered to himself.

It seems that the Onion Spirit is not a naturally born creature, but rather a variety that has been specially planted and cultivated?

The owner of the large hand dug a hole in the ground and carefully planted the scallion in his hand.

At this moment, through the scallion's 'vision', Song Shuhang saw clearly the owner of the large hand.

He was a slender man dressed in a fiery red Daoist robe, his entire body seemingly shrouded in layers of Cloudmist.

Song Shuhang was taken aback, then exclaimed in surprise, "Daoist Scarlet Firmament!"

The Daoist priest in the fiery red robe before him Daoist Scarlet Firmament he had seen in the memories of the rogue cultivator Li Tiansu!

At that time, in Li Tiansu's dream, Daoist Scarlet Firmament's gaze seemed to transcend the limitations of time and space, directly seeing the existence of 'Song Shuhang', and teaching Song Shuhang a move called 'Flame Blade'.

Master Scarlet Firmament said it was just an ordinary Flame Blade, but when Song Shuhang saw the way Heaven-Burning when he used it, he knew that what Master Scarlet Firmament taught him was definitely not as simple as an ordinary 'Flame Blade'.

Song Shuhang never expected that he would encounter the mysterious and powerful Daoist Scarlet Firmament again in the Onion Spirit's 'memory'.

However, this time, it seemed that Daoist Scarlet Firmament did not see Song Shuhang.

"Grow up quickly. Even the most ordinary little scallion has a limitless future. I really want to see how far you will grow. This is exactly what I want to see most," Daoist Scarlet Firmament softly to the scallion.

His warm hand gently stroked the scallion leaves. "Remember your birthplace, remember it firmly, never forget it even in death... because your roots are here."

After speaking, Daoist Scarlet Firmament stretched and then floated through the air, gradually ascending higher and disappearing from sight.

It seems that planting this scallion was just a whim of his.

The scallion swayed slowly on the mountaintop... all alone, but it still stubbornly took root and survived.

Then came the sunrise and sunset, day after day, year after year.

Three years have passed in the blink of an eye...

Are you kidding me? If it's a dream, wouldn't it be better to show these days of wind and sun in fast-paced cinematic scenes? Why does it have to be so realistic? Does he have to spend each day like a real scallion?

Song Shuhang really wanted to flip the table!

Then, for some reason, Song Shuhang suddenly remembered a primary school essay he had written.

The essay topics I had in elementary school were really silly.

The topic that time was "If I Were a Blade of Grass".

As a child, Song Shuhang wrote, "If I were a blade of grass, I would strive to grow, take root downwards, sprout upwards, grow strong, and perform photosynthesis to contribute to society."

I don't remember the exact details, but that was roughly the gist of it.

Looking back now, how adorable I was as a child!

The little grass is growing strong and wants to contribute to society? Farmers are lucky if they don't spray you with weeding pesticides.

At most, the grass will be cut and used to feed horses, pigs, cattle, and sheep...

And what's even more foolish is that... when he was little, Song Shuhang once fantasized about what it would be like to live a carefree life as a blade of grass.

Unexpectedly, this wish actually came true one day.

He's like a scallion now, swaying in the cold wind, enduring the sun and wind, unable to do anything but stare blankly.

"If I were a scallion, I would choose to break off my own scallion kidney—commit suicide... because it's just too damn boring," Song Shuhang muttered.

If someone were to say to Shuhang now, "Perhaps being a blade of grass, without any worries, would be a very happy thing."

Song Shuhang would definitely drown the other person in spittle—please bury your legs in the mud and sway in the wind for three years before you come and discuss with me the feeling of 'becoming a blade of grass'!

He's been swaying with the wind for three whole years now!

So boring, so boring. I'd even be happy if a rabbit came and ate the onions.

But there were no rabbits, no small animals at all.

The scallions still sway in the wind, enduring the elements.

And so, Song Shuhang continued, day after day, year after year...

In short, Song Shuhang couldn't remember exactly how many years had passed.

At first, he could still mutter a couple of times, "So boring, so boring."

In the end, he didn't even bother to mutter anymore.

As a scallion, one should have the awareness of being a scallion: take root downwards to absorb nutrients, sprout upwards, and serve all mankind through photosynthesis.

Finally, one day, the agonizing days suddenly came to an end.

Because of this scallion, it suddenly became a spirit.

There were no warning signs whatsoever.

There was no Tribulation Lightning, no condensation of Demon Core, no raging winds and thunder; overnight, the Onion Spirit woke up to find herself transformed into a cute green-haired girl.

The Onion Spirit was overjoyed. Having never left the ground before, she suddenly gained the ability to walk like a human. As a cute Onion Spirit, she began to live happily in the mountains and forests.

They lived such carefree lives for more than a decade.

Song Shuhang couldn't help but sigh, this scallion was truly living a happy life, without a single worry.

Then one day, a Monster Organization called "[All Monsters in the World Unite to Become One Family]" approached the Onion Spirit, absorbed her into the organization, and gave her the name "Onion Lady".

"All the monsters in the world unite as one family? What kind of name is that? Just hearing the name makes me want to complain!"

But since it's Monster Organization... shouldn't we teach Onion Lady some self-defense skills? Song Shuhang thought to himself.

Based on past experience, if he remembers a martial arts technique vividly in his dreams, he can learn it! Like that 'Flame Blade'!

If he possesses some kind of extraordinary skill, then all those years of swaying like a scallion in the wind and snow wouldn't have been in vain!

But soon, he remembered Onion Lady, that useless female demon.

Does this Monster Organization possess any secret techniques?