Laugh-Out-Loud Comedians

"Teacher Latia! What she said makes so much sense!"

Jack Martin muttered something under his breath, whispering something to the woman in the red dress.

"He spoke with such conviction, and was so refined and gentle. If it weren't for his NC-17 splatter movie monster look, I really wouldn't have any reason to fight him in the street. This Yellow Dragon Immortal is absolutely right. If we were to fight on the Mayflower, even though this dilapidated ship has been modernized, Mr. Vincent's punches and kicks are reckless. If he were to punch a few holes in it, we couldn't very well swim to Shambhala, could we?"

David Victor did not reply immediately.

On the contrary, Yellow Dragon Immortal breathed a sigh of relief, and the little clay figure's expression became kind and cute, with a strange, charming naiveté: "What this ghost immortal said is absolutely right. He truly deserves to be called a ruthless person who cultivates unorthodox methods and defies fate—he understands the difficulties of us cultivators."

"Latia?" Wen Bucai turned around and asked.

Seeing that the situation was turning bad, Mrs. Wang also began to wail and cry.

"--Since you gentlemen all wish for my death, then... then I shall end it all myself! I would rather die than fall into the hands of this demon!"

"Excellent!" Yellow Dragon Immortal clapped his hands and laughed, "My Wang Ya'an, it's not that I, the Yellow Dragon Immortal, want you to die today, it's that Heaven wants you to die! ~ If you obey Heaven's will, you will naturally have blessings in your next life, so..."

Before she could finish speaking, Wang family made up her mind and rammed her head into the bookshelf. A fiery red tail wrapped around her body, and then she saw the devil's heart-shaped tail pierce her heart. She immediately became delirious and absent-minded.

Her gaze was vacant and frozen, but she abandoned her suicidal thoughts and her eyes became lively and passionate again.

"Son of a bitch!"

Mrs. Wang cursed at the Yellow Dragon Immortal.

"Our family has never stopped offering sacrifices to you! Every spring and autumn, you demand three kinds of livestock and three kinds of poultry from two hundred households, and you also hold a grand wedding ceremony to marry off young women, fifteen or sixteen-year-old girls, to your temple to clean your statues and wash your ceramic images! You also have to wipe your candlesticks and incense burners! After I married into the Liu family, even our ancestors never enjoyed this kind of blessing!"

"You fucking want to kill my whole family?! You have some nerve! When I get back to Xiabang, I'll take my pants off and poop on your body! Then I'll have my husband burn his two good-for-nothing brothers to ashes and stuff them into your mouth!"

No matter how fierce its soul power is, without the support of a physical body, it will still be somewhat frightened and give way when it sees a living person with vigorous blood and boundless rage.

At this moment, Yellow Dragon True Person's spirit was far from his physical body. After being scolded by the shrew, the little clay figure was no longer as smug as before and slowly wilted. He found it unbelievable—where did this admiral's wife get her courage? She was like a ghost possessing her, one minute she was contemplating suicide, and the next she immediately had the will to live.

He noticed the strange "tail" on Wang family's body, and after a moment's thought, he immediately understood its secret.

"It seems this is a fairy."

Yellow Dragon Immortal's expression changed, and he spoke to David Victor in a sinister low voice, threatening him.

"You have the power to manipulate people's hearts? No wonder all the men on the Mayflower have been bewitched by you."

"I want to emphasize, I want to point out," David Victor held up two fingers, making a peace sign at his enemy. "There are two points I must make clear to you—"

"--First, my charm isn't just effective on men."

"--Secondly, this charm has nothing to do with my soul power; an ugly thing like you wouldn't understand."

Jack Martin whispered to Wen Bucai, "I always feel like the teacher is scolding me."

Wen Bucai replied softly, "Don't worry, this woman's mouth has been rife with insults for over two hundred years. She never cares about the feelings of her brothers and usually joins in the cursing with both opponents and teammates."

Yellow Dragon Immortal wanted to say something more polite.

--David Victor then launched into a relentless, all-out attack.

If Xue Ming's words are as ruthless as his actions, then half of that skill comes from the personal instruction he received from Teacher Victor.

"If the dog in the house is unruly, it's just a disobedient dog. But a vicious dog like you, who eats the bone your owner brings and then tries to bite back because you think the bone isn't tasty enough, deserves to be beaten to death with sticks. You don't even have the chance to be sent to the butcher shop—no one would dare eat you if you were thrown into a pot to cook."

"Do you dare?" Victor asked Wen Bucai, his head held high and his arm around Wang family's waist.

Before Wen Bucai answer, Victor immediately continued.

"I wouldn't dare, not even a sip of the soup would make me sick! Because you're such a beast, you stinky! Just smelling you makes me feel unclean!"

"Ugly thing! You look like a miscarriage of justice, or even a great injustice throughout history!"

"I can hardly imagine what kind of creatures your parents were to give birth to such a scumbag as you. To even call you a 'human' is an insult to humanity. Just because you can speak a few human words, you think you're human? And you even want to become an immortal?"

Yellow Dragon Immortal initially intended to feign nonchalance and maintain his persona of an otherworldly immortal.

Later, Latia's insults became increasingly vicious, each word hitting his sore spots.

"No way? Could I have really guessed right?"

Teacher Victor is still outputting damage.

"According to Madam Wang Ya'an, you want fifteen or sixteen-year-old girls to clean your pottery statues and the fake bodies in your temple? I find it hard to imagine what kind of deformed monster you are, how twisted your mind must be to hide in the shadows and spy on all this. You probably don't even have the courage to face a woman, or the self-respect and confidence to show your true self—you're a coward."

"Nonsense!" the Yellow Dragon Immortal roared. "Nonsense! You're talking nonsense! You witch! Shut up!"

"I have a mouth," David Victor retorted sharply. "My stance is clear. You cannot bypass me and harm this woman—this family has shown you kindness and expects your gratitude, yet you treat them like puppets, regarding human life as worthless. What kind of god are you? You are a demon that everyone should kill!"

"You've disrupted my Dao! You deserve to die!" Yellow Dragon Immortal was panting heavily, showing signs of losing his composure. This barrage of mental attacks had further weakened his already fragile will and unstable mental state. It should be noted that Judas's method of cultivating Wings of Light was always inclusive. In this era of scarce talent, this high priest would never act with the idea of "not doing evil because it's insignificant." He always hoped that every evil spirit could cultivate to achieve evil fruition, and that the flesh and blood flowers of Madness Butterfly would bloom everywhere.

Yellow Dragon Immortal was such a person. He was a deformed freak who had no parents to raise him since childhood. He was adopted by a temple and made a living by swindling money while wearing a cassock. Fortunately, he met Judas and found the way to seek immortality. He wanted to use the power of the elixir to cultivate an immortal golden body and add dragon horns, claws and scales to his golden python-like spirit body, so that he could become the real Yellow Dragon Immortal.

The immortals of Xiabang are not like those described in the mortal world. They have no philosophical classics, no cultivation of breathing techniques to understand one's true nature, and no concept of prestigious sects.

Everything is about wealth, method, location, and companionship. One should eat healthily, eat abundantly, and eat just right. On this fertile land, demons devour each other everywhere, donning a layer of human skin and claiming to be immortals. Those calamity beasts that haven't yet obtained human skin but can speak a few words of human language, possessing spiritual power and able to trick the villagers of a town into offering sacrifices to young boys and girls, are the local mountain gods.

"Are we really going to fight on the ship?" Jack was still a little uneasy.

David Victor was resolute, unlike Jack, who was a smooth talker (based on his actual age). David was always straightforward. "Wen, it's up to you."

"Oh! No!!!" Before Jack Martin could react, he felt a lightness at his waist, and half of a meat saw was sticking out from his tattered black trench coat. This protective treasure had once again fallen into Wen Bucai's hands.

"Have some decency, this wrecked ship can't withstand more than a few of my shots." Wen Bucai, wielding a saw, advanced towards the skeletal demon statue of Yellow Dragon Immortal.

In the blink of an eye, the clay figure made a hand seal, its face turning fierce and menacing. The over four-meter-long demonic statue suddenly arched and stood upright, exposing its spine and sternum. Two blood-red membranes trembled, constantly spewing out scalding hot air—as if it were preparing for a desperate fight.

In that instant, the little clay figure could be heard chanting incantations and making hand gestures with great conviction.

"Celestial Technique! Thousand Waterfall Silver Needles - Great Conch Shell Blowing! Die!"

Fine bone needles emerged from the fleshy cavities of this fleshy dragon. Just as the Yellow Dragon Immortal had described, there were hundreds or even thousands of these needle-shaped bone darts, which spewed out from the swollen muscle cavities like bullets from an air gun.

Even if a drunkard is incredibly fast and incredibly strong, is it virtually impossible for him to simultaneously defend against projectiles refracted from different angles in all directions?

Wen Bucai retreating, he advanced, casually pulling Jack's evil spirit sand body to protect his left side. A jet-black sharkskin war god—the Drunken Madman—had just emerged from his right shoulder and torso when it transformed into a whirlwind, its dark fists whipping up cold water vapor that churned in the air.

In just one second, the air gun needles, with an initial velocity of approximately 140 meters per second, were firmly grasped in the hands of the drunkard.

It wasn't about defending or blocking; it was about taking it directly into their hands!

At first, the spirit struggled to hold the bone needles with its two hands, perhaps because there were too many targets and the flight path was too chaotic. When it raised its head, its head was almost flicking out several shadows following these scattered targets. Then, it threw the bone needles back with a speed beyond human comprehension. Although it was not very accurate, the needles hit the door frame and frightened Yellow Dragon Immortal into running away a few steps.

Later, this war god-like soul power displayed unbelievable precision. It saw Jack Martin's body riddled with arrows, turning into a swollen sand ball, and then countless tiny pores burst open from Jack's robes.

The drunkard immediately spread his arms, and dozens of bone nails pierced his heart and lungs. He took a deep breath, and his two dark pectoral muscles and the embossed mark in the shape of a spade arrow swelled up. He then exhaled a gust of wind—a storm that broke the bookshelves of the collection and made the Yellow Dragon Immortal's face turn pale.

It showed no sign of stopping, drawing a longbow from one side of the collection hall, its bone spikes serving as arrowheads, and then began firing in rapid succession.

The arrows paused briefly before striking the bone golem, blasting out a fist-sized spray of blood.

Yellow Dragon Immortal wanted to back down and avoid the brunt of the attack, but then he saw the wall shatter. He fired three arrows in quick succession, smashing through the fragile wooden wall of Mayflower and heading straight for the mud figure inside the demon's mouth. The blows caused the demon dragon's mouth and nose to split open, and blood and flesh to flow out.

The Wen Bucai one is still researching the psionic traits of [Big Blowing Conch].

--He looked at Jack's little brother, who had turned into a hedgehog (based on his actual age).

"How amazing!"

Pulling out a bone spur, Jack's head immediately deflated like a punctured balloon, spewing out fine black mist.

"Ugh, gurgle gurgle gurgle." Jack lost his strength. His body was affected by the [Big Conch Shell], with swollen patches here and deflated patches there. This psychic trait was extremely effective against Homo sapiens, but had little effect on spirits—perhaps as Victor said.

This Yellow Dragon Immortal's spiritual power is weak; he can only bully mortals who are powerless to resist and bound by flesh and blood.

At this moment, Yellow Dragon Immortal's escape route is very clear: he needs to go to the bottom of the ship's cabin to find the keel, or go to the boiler room or the engine room to damage the ship's structure!

With a gentle touch of his dragon claws, his toes pierced between the wooden doors, and a powerful gust of wind broke open the pit. He rode the demonic dragon into the next room, while simultaneously escaping the pursuit of the ferocious avatar behind him—in the eyes of the Yellow Dragon Immortal, avatars like the Drunken Madman were inconceivable beings.

Although he didn't directly sense this guy's special abilities, the power and speed of the drunkard had already exceeded his comprehension. A primordial spirit of this level could shatter his golem with just a pair of iron fists!

We need to find a way to escape! And then sink this ship!

I was originally planning to make friends with fellow cultivators! How did things turn out like this in the blink of an eye?

"Since you have no intention of showing me any respect," Yellow Dragon True Person muttered viciously, "Then repent properly in this cold sea!"

A hole appeared in the door of the boiler room, and just as the little mud figure was about to crawl in, he saw Wen Bucai and Jiu Kuang standing in front of the door.

"I remember now!"

This Black Stone Man scavenged something useful from the garbage heap of his brain.

--It's a vague memory about the keel structure of the Mayflower.

Perhaps he had been on this ship many years ago, but he had almost forgotten about it.

At this critical juncture, he dug open the partition between the cabins and took a shortcut from top to bottom, arriving in front of the Yellow Dragon Immortal.

"Hah!~" The little clay figure gasped, but its ferocity remained undiminished. This external avatar could be discarded at will; it was merely a Gate of Hell experience. If it could inflict some injury on the powerful enemy before it, that would be the best possible training.

In the cramped boiler room, Yellow Dragon Immortal set his sights on the three boatmen on the night shift, as well as the two modernized ship engines—this bastard isn't stupid, he's just wicked.

The dragon's flesh spewed forth pus and blood, intending to exhaust the vital essence of the Liu brothers and their six servants! It would unleash the full power of the [Great Conch Shell] in one fell swoop!

In an instant, the dazzling silver light and the soaring blood flames merged into one. Wen Bucai had no room to back down. Behind him was the powertrain of Mayflower, and several innocent people trembling, not knowing what was happening.

This aloof black stone man will use his body as a shield to keep the monster out of the door, preventing it from retreating. The bone spikes shot from the conch shell are extremely fast and can change their trajectory according to the master's will, making them a very troublesome ranged attack.

From the pit, clusters of dense spikes shot out, covered in sticky, foul-smelling blood, tightly bound by strands of silk, like a spider web capturing a swarm of low-flying bees. The bones, cut by the mesh, slowly slowed down, finally falling helplessly to the ground, becoming a pool of flesh in front of Wen Bucai.

The incarnation of Yellow Dragon Immortal has completely disintegrated.

Wen Bucai looked up and saw Jiang Xueming, her face deathly pale, lying on the roof of the boiler room. On another level of the cabin, Fragrant Dream had lost all her hair, becoming a hairless cat—it seemed that all her spiritual hair had been used to weave this web.

Jiang Xueming still didn't understand what had happened.

"I just remembered."

"It's best not to use your spirit form on the Pompeii Sea; I think it might attract monsters."

Xue Ming felt as if she had done something wrong.

"Um, Brother Wen Bucai, this thing isn't a sea monster, right?"

This magical skill of weaving cat hair into a net amazed Wen Bucai, who exclaimed in surprise.

"You're so talented!"