A Narrow Escape from Death

Foreword:

It can terrify demons and monsters, making one's body as slender as a bundle of silk and one's aura as powerful as thunder.

--Cao Xueqin

[Part ① - Is this what you mean?]

"A doctor!"

"The Buddha Sculptor shouted."

"A doctor! A doctor!"

A dwarf with shifty eyes emerged from the shadows of the shop's main hall. His face was covered with dog-skin plasters, and he carried a basket of herbs on his back. His bare feet had eight sharp claws, and the soles and insteps of his feet were swollen and red.

This is the doctor in Black Wind Town, who is also the Buddha Sculptor's assistant and a day laborer who prepares Immortal Honey for the people.

In Black Wind Town, anyone afflicted by the "Dan Ding Pain" curse must kneel before the Blood Jade Guanyin. If we remove the Goddess Zhuzhu and the Hundred Eyes Great King, the Buddha Sculptor and priests are seen as lofty deities who save people from fire and water, while this dwarf doctor is seen as a divine messenger who prescribes medicine and delivers prescriptions—a more down-to-earth figure.

"Master! What brings you here?" The doctor bowed and scraped in response.

The Buddha Sculptor was still uneasy and explained the reason to the worker.

"The Goddess Zhuzhu needs to ensure a safe pregnancy; this is a crucial matter entrusted to her by the Lingguang Buddha —this Immortal Embryo is a rare treasure, and also an essential ingredient for the Imperial God Cauldron."

The doctor immediately replied, "I understand."

The Buddha Sculptor continued, "You have no idea, you useless country bumpkin. If you could serve Goddess Zhuzhu well, I wouldn't need to tell you this."

"Master, what do you mean?" the doctor asked cautiously.

The Buddha Sculptor sighed; it was a last resort.

"After Yu Zhen went down the mountain, she found this Wu Xiuwen. At first, they talked about spreading the religion, but later she may have told this servant about the difficulties of Goddess Zhuzhu."

"He sent over an Imperial Physician; this is an excellent gift."

"Another woman has been sent; they want Hundred Eyes Great King to behave himself."

"These two porters look to be in good condition. Send one to Guanyin Cave and the other to Black Wind Village Stronghold so the brothers can have a good treat. It's a good thing."

"I'm still worried because I haven't seen Yu Zhen."

The so-called "Lingguang Buddha" is actually a pseudonym for Judas.

The agent he chose, Wings of Light, was none other than this Buddha Sculptor.

The Buddha Sculptor created the Blood Jade Guanyin as a totem, while the Black-Eyed King and the Zhuzhu Fairy are the Black Gloves that spread the plague of erysipelas.

The "celestial fetuses" born from these two demons were definitely not legitimate "little monsters," because the blood-bearing freak's belly had already been occupied by the Madness Butterfly's nest. Normally, these monsters are infertile.

The "Immortal Embryo" mentioned by the Buddha Sculptor is an auxiliary ingredient in the Imperial God Cauldron. It is a flesh and blood elixir condensed from the essence and spirit of the common people in the Black Wind Town, and it is an important spiritual medium that can summon the Flash Butterfly.

In the Nine Realms, the Imperial God Cauldron is called the Dagda's Cauldron.

In the Great Xia, this furnace was a divine artifact that unified the world.

Hearing what the Buddha Sculptor said, the doctor began to think of a solution.

"Does Your Majesty mean there's something wrong with this Imperial Physician? I'll lead men to kill him right now!"

The Buddha Sculptor quickly called out to stop them.

"--You stubborn idiot! I wanted you to test his true strength, why did you immediately start fighting? If this Imperial Physician truly cares for Goddess Zhuzhu, and you've ruined the Lingguang Buddha alchemy project, how many heads do you have?! How many lives do you have?!"

"Oh!" the doctor exclaimed, suddenly understanding. "How should we test it?"

"I see the two porters are walking unsteadily; they must be exhausted from the treacherous mountain path. They won't go up the mountain tonight," the Buddha Sculptor concluded. "You take the Guling and Jingguai, along with eight villagers, and go to Guanyin Bodhisattva to retrieve my magic weapon, the Peeling Tree, to test their intentions."

These "spirits" and "monsters" are demons kept by the Buddha Sculptor and priests.

The doctor accepted the order and transformed into a large black rat, scurried out of the shop, and headed into the mountains. In less than the time it takes for an incense stick to burn, a white wolf emerged from the leeward slope of the northern foothills, with a wolfhound clinging to its rump.

The big black rat followed behind, carrying the precious tree from the Blood Jade Guanyin's hand in its mouth. This magical artifact was only a foot long and had no leaves. Its branches spread out and pierced into the black rat's skin and flesh, and the branches began to weave skin and flesh, giving the rat a human body and turning it back into the appearance of a doctor.

Then I saw the doctor grasp the tender branch of the precious tree and stab it at the white wolf. The white wolf twisted its body and stood upright on its hind legs, transforming into a beautiful woman with silver hair and red eyes. All the coarse fur on her body was shed, and she had beautiful eyebrows and a face full of spring, with a charming and alluring appearance. Her two red lips were like cherry blossoms, and every frown and smile was like a lotus blooming.

The tender branch pierced the wolfhound again. After a series of magical transformations, the deformed puppy straightened up, its fierce and vicious fangs turned into two small tiger teeth, and it transformed into a child. It picked up the copper hairpin from the cloth bag and tied its hair into a bun. The little girl was very clever, with almond-shaped eyes like silver stars and a pretty face like the bright moon. She had two arched eyebrows, a slender waist, and white shoulders that swayed in the breeze.

This Peeling Tree is one of the six magical treasures of the Buddha Sculptor, capable of weaving skin, exchanging blood, splitting bones, and cutting flesh. Even ugly demons can be magically transformed.

The disheveled brothers, blessed by the magic treasure, transformed into beautiful women who knelt on the ground. They first thanked the Buddha Sculptor for bestowing upon them human form, then kowtowed three times and nine times to the doctor, their agent. After taking clothes from the cloth bag, they transformed into two respectable young ladies—the elder sister being Gu Ling and the younger sister being a spirit.

"My little benefactor," the mischievous younger sister spoke first, a smug glint in her eyes, "You're ordering my brother around again. What's with this change of plans? Are you going down the mountain to catch some game (caravans) to fill your stomachs? Or are you going to gather some wild fruit (for lone travelers) to quench your thirst?"

The older sister, Gu Ling, was much more composed and exclaimed, "We have to dress up as women again? It's probably to catch wild game. Our great benefactor (the Buddha Sculptor) once said, 'The tough are bad, the soft are strong'—dressing up as a woman will make this job even more difficult."

The two brothers knew that if they were catching small, lone fish, they wouldn't need to go through the trouble of having the precious tree transform into human form. They would only turn into beautiful women when they encountered a mixed group of merchants with bodyguards and guards. They would poison the caravan, sleep with the warriors, and only succeed after the people had let their guard down.

The doctor offered no explanation, but said to the two demons, "You two immortals, please wait here and do not move. I will go and find eight more villagers to match with ten beautiful women, and then I will tell you the whole story in detail."

Half an hour later, the sun was about to set.

Eight strong men slowly walked out of Black Wind Town. When they reached the woods, they were whipped and pricked by the bark-peeling precious tree, and they all transformed into beautiful women with lovely faces.

The gruff screams of the grown men could only be broken into the high-pitched, delicate voices of young girls.

The mischievous little sister watched with delight, then continued to berate the men of the village, "Useless! Ignorant! Uncultured! You should walk with your arms up and your hips swaying! Learn from me! Learn from me!"

After saying this, the unruly puppy led the way, and the townspeople followed behind her.

"Excellent!" The physician clapped his hands in delight, exclaiming, "Excellent! Very good! Even if the Imperial Physician has the heart of a sage, he will surely be unable to resist the charms of this beautiful woman!"

The older sister, Gu Ling, asked about the reason.

"A doctor? Ten of them are needed to deal with one? Who is that guy?"

"Yu Zhen Yuzhen went down the mountain to seek immortality and brought back a Wu Xiuwen from Zhuzhou, who is the magistrate's son." The doctor explained while drooling over the beauties, "The magistrate sent a gift to Goddess Zhuzhu, including an Imperial Physician. The lady is worried and wants you to give him a try."

Gu Ling: "How do we try?"

The spirit laughed and replied, "Of course it's pillow talk! Men will say anything in bed! If you make vows of eternal love to him, he'll pledge himself to you. You're family, so it's family talk!"

"That's right!" the doctor said with a grin.

Gu Ling: "What if he has bad intentions?"

The doctor said, "Then eat it!"

Gu Ling: "What if he's innocent?"

The physician said, "It's just one night of passion! You must serve him well! Make him reach the blissful state of near-death! He'll never want to go back to serve the Emperor again! He'll be able to focus on nurturing Goddess Zhuzhu's pregnancy!"

[Part ② Oh! That's what it means!]

That night, Wu Xiuwen brought out the Immortal Honey and instructed everyone to take it and immediately head up the mountain.

But at this moment, Jianying and Jianxiong were too tired to walk anymore. The two brothers were so exhausted that they could fall asleep sitting up.

Xue Ming, "Let's go into the mountains tomorrow. Let's rest for the night first."

"My lord, this desolate mountain wilderness is teeming with poisonous insects. Where can we find a place to rest?" Wu Xiuwen was anxious. He hadn't thought about resting at all; he only hoped that the battle between the dragon and the snake would end soon, and that it would be a quick and painless affair, whether they lived or died.

Jiang Xueming wasn't in a hurry at all. After obtaining the small porcelain bottle, he wanted to carefully study what this "Immortal Honey" actually was. If he drank it and turned into Blood-giving Monster, it would be troublesome. Good Cat would convene all VIPs overnight for an early annual meeting, with the theme of "Celebrating the Increase in Gunsmith Power Consumption, and the Gold Content of the Nameless Card Pool is Still Increasing" and so on. Just thinking about it made Xue Ming's Madness Index soar.

Jianying, feeling dizzy, replied, "My benefactor, I really can't walk any further."

Jianxiong cursed, "You bastard! You're so eager to exorcise demons when I ask you to?! Aren't you afraid of dying? Why didn't you deal with the bears outside Zhuzhou City?!"

Wu Xiuwen felt a burning sensation on his face, as if he had been slapped, and stopped talking.

Fortunately, a doctor came to the rescue. Seeing the dwarf happily skipping along, the big black rat, looking like a human, bowed and greeted Jiang Xueming.

"Is this Zhang Guiren from the Imperial Hospital?"

Jiang Xueming was focused on the porcelain bottle, then lifted the cap and sniffed it carefully—he smelled an overly sweet, somewhat familiar scent.

He casually replied, "Yes."

"I am a junior apprentice of the Buddha Sculptor," the doctor said happily. "The journey is long, so please rest for the night at Mu Family Village in Black Wind Town, wash up and get plenty of rest. You'll go up the mountain looking beautiful and clean tomorrow, and the King and Queen will be pleased to see you!"

"Thoughtful." Jiang Xueming carefully put the porcelain bottle away, becoming wary.

--Just when I was about to go to sleep, someone brought me a pillow.

"Are you going?" Xue Ming asked casually, deliberately turning her head to glare at Wu Xiuwen.

Startled, Wu Xiuwen immediately said, "I'm not going!"

Xue Ming immediately spoke up, singing in a high-pitched tone. "Huh?!"

Wu Xiuwen immediately changed his mind. "Then let's go! Let's go!"

This wasn't some kind of coordinated act; rather, it was Jiang Xueming's overly mature mindset in an unfamiliar environment.

He thought that Wu Xiuwen was in cahoots with the Buddha Sculptor using slang and jargon, and had said something he shouldn't have.

With just these two short sentences of question and answer, Wu Xiuwen's answer was written all over his face—this kid was unaware of the Buddha Sculptor's arrangements.

To the physician, however, the conversation took a different turn. The Imperial Physician had obediently fallen into the trap, seemingly a weak, short-tempered, and lowly creature who couldn't bear the slightest grievance—he was perfectly cooperative in wanting to stay at the manor to recuperate.

"Very well! Distinguished guests, please follow me!"

After crossing the hearth and entering the village, we reached a high rocky platform and saw the pavilions of Mu Family Village. The pavilions were luxuriously decorated, with bright red lintels, rows of lanterns that looked like flames blooming red flowers, and rows of fences made of ironwood covered with gold paint.

The host of Mu Family Manor did not come to greet the guests, so the doctor took care of the welcoming and check-in procedures. He led several male guests to the bathhouse to change clothes and then Xiangxiang to a private room to rest. Xue Ming obediently followed the doctor's arrangements. After changing into a clean and neat cloth robe, he wanted to go upstairs to watch the opera. So he took a small knife from the fruit bowl and called the two Zhao Brothers over to sit with him.

When the two leading actresses took the stage, Xue Ming's eyes involuntarily lit up with a sharp light.

--This is something he cannot control. Whenever he encounters a powerful demon with abundant primordial energy, Fragrant Dream will appear on its own and bestow upon him a pair of tiger-like, piercing eyes.

As soon as the linear pupils lit up, Xue Ming immediately dispersed his spirit body. In an instant, wind and clouds surged between the doors and windows on the second floor, and the miasma and haze that had been there in the evening were swept away by this cold wind.

The two Guling and Jingguai sisters on stage shivered and suddenly became alert. When they looked at the "Imperial Physician" below the stage again, they became more and more fond of him. They recited the names of the lyrics and sang the lewd songs with increasing enthusiasm, their eyes fixed on this hot, primordial energy.

In that brief moment, Xue Ming caught a glimpse of the two mainstays out of the corner of his eye.

The younger sister with gray hair and red eyes is a snow-white wolf.

The younger sister with brown-black hair and yellow eyes is a crippled jackal.

To put it in more detail, it was like two male dogs standing up, dressed in human skin and theatrical costumes, striking poses on stage—

At first, only two large tails could be seen, but with a glare from Fragrant Dream, Xue Ming could see them clearly.

As for the other women, those waiting by the screen, those fiddling with the stage weapons, and those combing their hair, applying rouge, and drawing their eyebrows, were all burly farmers who seemed to have been transformed into beautiful women by magic.

Xue Ming immediately understood that the Buddha Sculptor wanted to test their resolve.

So he took out his razor and shaved the Zhao Brothers' beards, then pointed to the woman on the stage and casually asked...

Do you like it?

Zhao Jianying dared not say she liked it; she tilted her head back, unaware of what her benefactor was thinking, and pretended not to hear.

Jiang Xueming patted Zhao Jianying's throat and shaved off the burly man's beard, revealing him to be a handsome young man with thick eyebrows and big eyes, a resolute face and a broad chin, though his brow was deeply sunken and he often looked worried.

"Call your brother over here."

Before Zhao Jianying could call out, Jianxiong rushed over, pulled his elder brother's body apart, and said impatiently.

"I'll do it! I'll do it! Shave me! My benefactor! Shave me and cleanse my face! Don't let me embarrass myself in front of the girls!"

Wu Xiuwen chuckled softly, "Virtue."

It seems Zhao Jianxiong likes it very much and can't get past this hurdle.

Jiang Xueming took out his knife and shaved Jianxiong's beard, holding the silly boy's chin and trimming his beard and sideburns little by little. Then he saw a young and handsome boy who looked similar to his older brother, except that Jianxiong had protruding eyebrows and high cheekbones, and a fierce and competitive face.

At this moment, Xue Ming finally remembered what the Immortal Honey smelled like. It seemed to be a kind of Universal Elixir that had been brewed and fermented, mixed with many useless impurities. Its medicinal effects were even inferior to those of White Lady's products. It couldn't cure the root of the disease if taken internally, nor could it heal the wounds if applied externally. It could only add a portion of flesh and blood essence to tightly wrap the lesion inside the body. Not only was the medicinal power reduced, but the effect was also delayed. That's why there was a saying that taking Immortal Honey would guarantee your safety twice—in other words, in the words an old immortal could understand, it was the difference between an elemental bottle and a dripping stone, which immediately restored health and slowly restored health.

The magic of this Universal Elixir lies in its ability to regenerate flesh from bones and bring the dead back to life instantly. Any surgeon with decent skills can treat any problem except for the head, cutting out whatever is wrong, and another bottle of the medicine can make the patient a new person.

This "Immortal Honey" not only fails to cure the illness, but merely keeps the patient on their deathbed, forcing them to continue providing vital energy to the elixir cauldron—it's a deadly poison that makes life worse than death.

Unexpectedly, this Buddha Sculptor also had the means to create Universal Elixir. In Xue Ming's view, this was a good thing. If there was a way to create elixirs, there was also a way to purify, extract, and refine them. Making White Lady's products should not be a difficult task.

When the opera ended, it was time to leave.

Jianxiong asked the doctor impatiently, "Are these girls from the village?"

Lang was overjoyed, knowing the porter was simple-minded and about to take the bait. "Alas! This is trouble! All trouble!"

"What kind of trouble has happened?" Jianxiong asked, puzzled.

The doctor said haltingly, "The Mu family has ten daughters, and they're worried about finding suitable husbands for them, but there's no one in Black Wind Town who's a good match—what else could this be but a disaster?"

"Oh!" Jianxiong hesitated, then his mind suddenly clicked. "I was rewarded for escorting the Taiye County Governor Imperial Physician! Do you think I'm worthy of it?"

The doctor deliberately feigned embarrassment. "Uh... this..."

"I'm still the righteous bear-slayer!" Zhao Jianxiong claimed all of his elder brother's achievements for himself. He was a lecherous devil, unable to control himself, his mind completely occupied by the enchanting girl, his soul bewitched by her seductive eyes. "You saw my bear cloak when you were carrying clothes?! That's proof!"

"Uh..." The doctor feigned reluctance, actually wanting Zhao Jianxiong to continue, "Besides, the owners of the village should come and give an explanation."

"I also want to slaughter..." Zhao Jianxiong started to say, but stopped himself, originally intending to say "slay demons and monsters."

Wu Xiuwen was so frightened that his face turned pale and his whole body trembled.

Zhao Jianying gripped his younger brother's hand tightly, afraid he might utter another word of nonsense.

"Go on," Jiang Xueming pointed to the heads clearly, "Go on, what are you going to behead? I didn't hear you clearly."

"Hahahahahaha," Jianxiong chuckled, looking awkwardly at his benefactor. "Hahahahahahehe..."

The doctor was completely bewildered and had no idea what the porter was so proud of.

Jianxiong: "We need to slaughter a few pigs! We'll send them to Master Mu as betrothal gifts!"

"Tch!" the doctor sneered. "Without gold, silver, jewels, cloth, and spirit stones, you dare to be a son-in-law of the Mu family?! What a lowly wretch!"

After being insulted, the poor boy was like a defeated rooster. He couldn't understand what the rich used to exchange for love. In Zhao Family Village, a marriage was just a transaction involving a few pigs.

But Jiang Xueming knew—

--After the doctor leaves, kill nine to scare the tiger, and keep one to question as a witness.

We need to find out what this honey trap is all about; maybe we can even extort something from the Buddha Sculptor.