Reusing the Same Old Tricks

Foreword:

The emperor sought out a banished official in the Xuan Room, and Jia Yi's talent was unparalleled. Alas, he sat before the emperor in the dead of night, asking not of the people's plight, but of ghosts and spirits.

--Li Shangyin

[Part 1: Eloquent Tongue]

The Wood Virtue Star Lord rushed into Guanyin Cave's cave in a panic, intending to deliver the fake sword to Zhang Guiren.

But when the old monkey went to the alchemy furnace, he saw that Goddess Zhuzhu's face was rosy, all three heads had regained their vitality, and she had actually fallen asleep.

The most difficult problem to solve in the process of nurturing the fetus and refining elixirs is the elixir poisoning.

--There are countless kinds of elixirs, and the primordial essence sent into Pearl Fairy's belly is also divided into different grades, carrying the impurities of all living beings.

The process of the King of Cinder refining himself and seeking the Great Dao of Yang God is also a kind of alchemy in the eyes of the Qi Refiners of Xia Bang. There are countless inner demons to overcome in the process.

Since the sixth year of the Lingzong, Zhuzhu has not had a good night's sleep. Once she loses her composure, she falls into a state of semi-madness. Every time she wakes up from a nightmare, she experiences someone else's life—it feels like she has gone to another world, entered the body of an ordinary commoner in Black Wind Town, and completely become another person.

After enduring the tribulations, the evil poison of the elixir fire slowly dissipated, but the more elixirs it consumed, the more tribulations it faced.

With the Wu Xiuwen at a loss, Wu Xiuwen finally found an opportunity. Under the pretense of treating Zhang Congfeng's illness and ensuring a safe pregnancy, he sent Zhang Congfeng to Zhuzhu's bedside.

Without the Zhuzhu as a vessel to digest the elixir's poison, the immortal embryo would be impure, carrying the hopes and aspirations of countless beings. Sending it into the Imperial God Cauldron would only hinder Judas's plans.

Kizaru didn't dare to go forward for the time being, for fear of disturbing Pearl Fairy's sleep.

It muttered incantations, finding it utterly magical.

"The nobleman's skills are extraordinary."

"The Empress is actually able to fall asleep!"

"Sleeping so peacefully, it must be a blessing from Master's good deeds that this little temple in Black Wind Ridge has been able to invite such a deity as you."

It crept closer for a closer look and found that Pearl Fairy's three heads had all reverted to their youthful appearance, transforming her back into a sixteen or seventeen-year-old girl.

"What amazing power! What amazing power!"

But the monkey stopped laughing the next second.

It was clear that Zhang Congfeng was holding Pearl Fairy's arm tightly, their fingers almost intertwined.

"This... this... this..."

How could Master's wife allow a stranger to hold her hand? If Master saw this, he would probably chop the Imperial Physician into mincemeat on the spot!

"No! No, you mustn't!"

The old monkey let out a sharp cry, and its expression turned miserable and terrifying.

"Zhang Guiren! What are you doing? How dare you touch this?!"

Jiang Xueming made a shushing gesture, telling Wood Virtue Star Lord to shut up.

"Goddess Zhuzhu has just fallen asleep, don't make a noise."

The old monkey calmed down, a hint of reproach in its eyes, wanting to get to the bottom of things. "How dare you, noble person, touch it while Goddess Zhuzhu is asleep?"

"You shouldn't ask that," Jiang Xueming interrupted. "You should be asking how I got it to sleep. You should be asking—what right does it have to hold my hand?"

The old monkey tensed up, suddenly intimidated by this domineering and arrogant aura.

It thought to itself, "She really is the imperial Imperial Physician who served the emperor. After arriving at Black Wind Ridge, Zhang Guiren remained neither humble nor arrogant, and never bowed her head."

So, does this mean that His Majesty needs to hold hands with Zhang Guiren to sleep peacefully?

Otherwise, why would the noble person have asked, "Does Goddess Zhuzhu have the qualifications?"

It means that only the emperor is worthy to touch his hands.

The Wood Virtue Star Lord, being intelligent and quick-witted, immediately understood the meaning.

"My esteemed guest, do you require the palm of your hand to activate this supernatural power?"

Jiang Xueming retorted, "Otherwise what?"

Old Huang Yuan was caught off guard and didn't know how to continue speaking unpleasantly, so he quickly offered a few flattering words.

"I was blind to your greatness. It is a great joy that Goddess Zhuzhu can finally sleep. My heart is in turmoil, and I have lost my composure."

Jiang Xueming cut to the chase. "You came all the way to Guanyin Cave not to spout this nonsense."

"Oh, oh." Old Huang Yuan was taken aback at first, wondering why the Imperial Physician seemed to have been prepared all along, as if he knew everything. After thinking it over and over, he finally brought up the matter of Tiger Vanguard's assassination of Hundred Eyes.

After another string of useless ramblings, he recounted how Tiger Vanguard killed Hundred Eyes and how Hundred Eyes retaliated by killing the traitor, and finally brought out the fake sword.

"My lord, this magical artifact can nourish the fetus, please take it quickly."

"It's fake," Jiang Xueming said bluntly and calmly.

Kizaru's brain has gone blank.

Jiang Xueming tapped the iron sword, and a clear sword sound rang out.

"It's fake, just ordinary iron, not Hundred Eyes Great King's protective magic weapon."

Kizaru: "Fake?! But... but it could cleave through the Immortal Venerable's protective sword."

"Your copper-iron alloy isn't hard enough. How can its metallurgical technology compare to carbon steel?" Jiang Xueming was too lazy to explain. "Does a powerful iron blade necessarily make it a magic weapon?"

"Can the Hundred-Eyed Demon Lord summon extraterrestrial demons by commanding it?"

Kizaru suddenly realized. "I can't shout it out."

Jiang Xueming didn't continue, waiting for Kizaru to ask himself.

The Wood Virtue Star Lord waited by the bedside. After a while, the monkey demanded proper etiquette between host and guest.

If it speaks first, it means it needs someone's help, and even the Hundred-Eyed Demon Lord will owe Zhang Guiren a favor.

But when Zhang Guiren spoke first, the situation changed; it was Consort Zhang who took the initiative to explain the whole story.

After much deliberation, Mude realized that the truth about the magic weapon was far too important and that he needed to get to the bottom of it.

The clever old monkey took another detour—

--It has always understood the principle that "taking a detour is the shortcut".

"Goddess Zhuzhu know about this?"

Jiang Xueming: "As soon as I came in, the Empress asked me to tell a story. After I finished telling the story, I told it about this matter—it knew the cause and effect."

Only then did the old monkey feel at ease and ask the real question.

"Just now, when I spoke with Your Excellency about Dan Chenzi's rebellious act, Your Excellency remained calm and composed, as if you had foreseen it all along."

Jiang Xueming explained, "This tiger is blocking the Four Directions Earth Temple, trying to steal Jin Xu's credit and take me away—Jin Xu and I are both doctors, fellow practitioners who share our medical knowledge and experiences."

"Do you know what this means? This is a teacher-student relationship."

"This black tiger is insatiable; it not only wants to steal the credit, but also wants Jin Xu to kneel down and lick its shoes clean."

Kizaru's eyes widened. "You have a death wish!"

Even so, they were all fellow disciples, Wood Virtue Star Lord knew Dan Chenzi's temperament all too well. It was just trying to make an expression to win over Zhang Guiren's favor.

"I couldn't bear to see Jin Xu humiliated, so I came out to say a few words of justice." Jiang Xueming continued the story, "As a result, this Dan Chenzi went even further, sending his Chang Ghost to collect excrement and poisonous insects from the desolate mountains and forests, smearing them all on his shoes, and still making Jin Xu lick them clean."

"I wondered, where did it get its reliance?"

"It turned out that it had its eye on the Corpse Demon Soul Dissolving Sword."

"It wants to kill a hundred-eyed monster and become the Black Tiger Immortal Venerable."

Kizaru dared not utter a sound; he was filled with rage.

It had just been greeting guests at the entrance of the cave and had kindly instructed them to let Dan Chenzi in to meet his master alone. Little did it expect to give this guy the opportunity to assassinate him.

"I was originally here to help Goddess Zhuzhu during her pregnancy, but I can't stay out of it now. It wants to take the sword, and I, a weak doctor, can't do anything about it," Jiang Xueming continued. "So I made a fake sword."

"Where did the forge and firepower come from?" Old Huang Yuan asked doubtfully, "There is no casting room in the Sifang Earth Temple."

"I come from the Nine Realms," Jiang Xueming casually made up. "Have you ever heard of the weapon-forging methods of the Nine Realms?"

Kizaru is a native monkey of Black Wind Ridge, and he has also heard traveling merchants tell the legend of the Nine Realms.

The people living on that land, according to legend, all possessed large machinery and workshops, capable of smelting tens of thousands of catties of pig iron and wrought iron in a single day. It couldn't imagine the specific scene, nor did it have that concept.

"Amazing, amazing," the old yellow ape muttered. "So, this black-hearted tiger, carrying a fake sword, was no match for the Immortal Venerable! It's all thanks to the noble person's brilliant foresight that the Immortal Venerable was able to avert this calamity!"

Jiang Xueming shook his head. "Being kind to others cannot be called doing good deeds."

Kizaru was stunned for a moment; it couldn't understand the Imperial Physician's words at all.

--If this were seen by the local monsters, it would be an opportunity for them to rise to prominence.

To put it simply, a little demon in the third grade of elementary school suddenly won the top prize in the entire Black Wind Ridge Hunyuan Creation Skill. When he arrived at his own demon cave, he wouldn't even go inside. Instead, he wanted to ride on his parents' heads and circle the entire mountain range three times, playing the same thing on a loudspeaker for seven days and seven nights.

But Zhang Guiren actually said, "It can't be called meritorious deeds?"

This level, this realm, this is what a true Capital City should be like.

Jiang Xueming: "Besides, whether it can be called a merit is not up to me to decide -- Black Wind Ridge is dangerous, Hundred Eyes Great King investigates the matter afterward, Jin Xu and I are both afraid."

"We had neither the ability to stop this tiger, nor did we give it any advance warning."

"This is already a grave crime of knowing the truth but failing to report it, and being powerless to kill the thief."

"Now that things have come to this, all I want is peace. As for merit or not, you'll have to ask Goddess Zhuzhu. Only if she nods in agreement can it be considered merit."

[Part ② - Very Bad]

Kizaru's eyes lit up.

--No wonder that when Zhang Guiren arrived at the entrance of the Hundred Eyes Cave, she immediately ran to the Guanyin Cave.

To absolve himself of responsibility, the Imperial Physician immediately whispered in the Empress's ear, fearing that the Hundred Eyes Great King might go too far and, in a fit of rage, kill both Jin Xu and Zhang Congfeng.

Its mind raced, and it remembered that Zhang Congfeng had specifically mentioned the magic weapon in front of the cave entrance. It probably wanted to secretly send a message but was powerless to do so. Unfortunately, my monkey brain couldn't figure it out—I actually mistook Dan Chenzi for one of my own!

He possesses both genuine feelings and a shrewd, calculating nature. He has the heart of a chivalrous hero!

This is a true benefactor whom the Wood Virtue Star Lord actively seeks to please and rely on!

Kizaru immediately asked, "Is the real sword in your possession, Your Excellency?"

Jiang Xueming took the real sword from beside the doctor's bag under his seat and opened the cloth bag.

"It's always been by my side, right under Dan Chenzi's nose—it was overjoyed to get the fake sword and never expected me to dare to deceive it."

Kizaru examined the real sword closely and exclaimed in amazement, "What courage you have! To remain unfazed even when a mountain collapses before you! You are a true hero!"

"Don't laugh at me," Jiang Xueming said. "Goddess Zhuzhu can't do without this magic weapon. It's because of this magic weapon that she can sleep. It's because this magic weapon can suppress seven-tenths of the elixir fire that my medical skills can extinguish the remaining three-tenths of the evil poison."

Upon hearing this, Kizaru quickly returned the sword to his bedside, not daring to make any rash moves.

However, with a thought from Jiang Xueming, the Fragrant Dream Dispelling ability was dispelled, and the originally "kind-faced" Pearl Fairy's face gradually showed anger and irritability, indicating that she was about to wake up.

"Disaster! Disaster!" Wood Virtue Star Lord hurriedly knelt down, "It's all because of my mischievousness and curiosity that I disturbed Your Majesty's peaceful slumber."

At this moment, Jiang Xueming completely let go.

The Wood Virtue Star Lord felt that the tranquil and calming fragrance that had been filling the vast alchemy furnace room—a fragrance that Fragrant Dream —had now transformed back into the anger and resentment of the celestial fetus within Pearl Fairy's womb.

The spider-faced creature rolled over, adopting the same posture it had when it first faced Jiang Xueming, with all eight arms and claws pointing towards the outsider, in a defensive stance.

Once Zhuzhu saw the monkey's appearance clearly, she fully woke up and let her guard down. Her six eyes rolled around for a while, as if she had been sleeping too soundly because the dream was so wonderful.

"Sir, please lend me a hand."

Jiang Xueming dared not move. "Your Majesty, are you going to get up? If you ask me, it's better to stay lying down, lest you disturb the fetus."

"Come help me up," Zhuzhu said coquettishly. "I slept so well and feel refreshed, I have some energy. My mother always said I was a restless, fidgety child when I was little—just help me up."

This old hag didn't actually want to sit up. To put it bluntly, it was like a lecherous old man in the hospital seeing a pretty young nurse—he was just pretending to be sick when he wasn't, and he wanted to touch Doctor Zhang's hand again.

Jiang Xueming secretly gave Wood Virtue Star Lord a meaningful look.

--Mude immediately understood.

"Your Majesty! Hundred Eyes Great King has sent me with a precious sword! That Dan Chenzi..."

"Okay," Zhuzhu said impatiently, drawing out the words, "Okay! Okay! I've already said it once! Zhang Guiren already told me!"

"That good-for-nothing gatekeeper, how could he possibly be a match for my husband?"

"Mude, I ask you, is my husband injured?"

The Wood Virtue Star Lord replied, "Completely unharmed! Awesome in every way!"

Zhuzhu immediately said, "I should thank Zhang Guiren for her little trick; with a piece of scrap metal, she exposed this traitor's true colors. It's just a pity for Yu Zhen, who has to brave wind and rain, while this traitor Dan Chenzi gets a sinecure as a gatekeeper—I'm going to demand an explanation from my husband. Call Baimu right now!"

News of Yu Zhen's death did not reach Black Wind Ridge, and Zhuzhu could not have imagined that Zhang Congfeng was beside her, was the culprit who killed her adopted son.

Upon hearing Goddess Zhuzhu's summons, Kizaru immediately replied, "Isn't that inappropriate?"

Zhuzhu said confidently and proudly, "What's wrong with that? I have a celestial embryo possessing me, my magic weapon is under my bed, and Zhang Guiren is still by my side coaxing me to sleep. I rarely wake up, and I'm at the peak of my power. Are you afraid my husband will lose his mind? That he'll hurt me? But does it even have that ability?"

The dead are better than the living, and counterfeits can beat the real treasures—this is the result Jiang Xueming wanted to see.

The next steps are even simpler. Although a Saint Seiya won't lose to the same move twice, one move is enough to deal with different Saint Seiyas.

Kizaru respectfully withdrew to relay the message, instructing him to tell Hundred Eyes Great King the whole story and its origins.

During this lull, Jiang Xueming obediently followed orders, put on gloves, took the human-faced spider's hand, and half-heartedly helped Zhuzhu up. Even the little monsters serving on either side were nowhere to be seen; it was the perfect time for them to whisper to each other.

Goddess Zhuzhu abandoned her reserve and got straight to the point.

"You've helped my husband, and you're going to help me too. That's a great deed. What reward did the Buddha Sculptor give you?"

Jiang Xueming: "He spared my life and allowed me to go to the Capital City to meet the emperor. I also want to go to the Imperial Medical Academy to continue my studies."

Goddess Zhuzhu continued, "These hands are as beautiful as flowers, this face is as beautiful as flowers. Such a beautiful appearance, such great skills, why not leave them at Black Wind Ridge?"

Jiang Xueming immediately panicked. "Did the Buddha Sculptor really make that promise?"

"Heh," Zhuzhu chuckled softly, her three mouths chuckling together, "What is Buddha Sculptor anyway? My husband has obtained a true magic weapon and wants to keep you in Black Wind Ridge. Would he dare to say anything? Would he tear off his mask for a mere mortal like you?"

Jiang Xueming felt a surge of despair, her face withered. "Your Majesty, do you really want to keep me here?"

"You come from the Nine Realms," Goddess Zhuzhu said casually, stretching. "Of course you've seen wealth and glory, so I understand why you look down on my little temple."

"But circumstances are beyond your control. Once you're inside my cave, whether you can get out or not isn't up to you."

How about this?

Goddess Zhuzhu whispered—

"--I have rendered meritorious service by carrying a celestial child, and the Lingguang Buddha will surely favor me."

"When my husband arrives, I will instigate him to kill the Buddha Sculptor."

"Bai Mu is dull-witted and certainly can't control the people of Hefeng Village. I recommend you, along with the Lingguang Buddha, to lead Black Wind Town and become the next Buddha Sculptor."

"After giving birth to the celestial child, I can be married to two husbands. If you're afraid, I'll seize the Hundred-Eyed Demon Lord's true magic weapon, while he clung to the fake sword, laughing foolishly—from then on, we'd eat here and sleep there, living the life of immortals."

"Once you reach the capital, the Lingguang Buddha will come to your aid again; your future will be limitless!"

Jiang Xueming shook his head repeatedly after hearing this.

"I'm afraid that's not a good idea."

If he directly refused, saying "no," even Goddess Zhuzhu would get angry— Jiang Xueming had seen plenty of the tempers of local bullies.

But with a "ba" added at the end, this little tail is like a magic spell.

Zhuzhu couldn't wait any longer. Having experienced a blissful life in her dream, she wished that Baimu would fly over immediately, grab her centipede husband by the neck, and pour a bellyful of bewitching potion onto him.