Immortal Cuisine

The Profound Heaven Sword Intent says: If that Xuan Niang is already pregnant, then there is indeed a very slight chance that the baleful aura could be hidden in the womb and escape this seat's detection... But this sort of situation is far too rare. It's basically impossible...

What do you mean, impossible! Didn't you see how delicate Xuan Niang's figure was, and how wide her hips were? It'd be perfectly normal for her to be pregnant by now! Ahem, ahem, ahem! Besides, since the system had already determined that Tian Silang wasn't dead, then he probably wasn't!

"Should I go get rid of the baleful corpse first? After all, I'm the one who let it escape. If it causes a catastrophe..." Li Fan couldn't help speaking up.

The Profound Heaven Sword Intent circled impatiently and knocked down another bamboo leaf to smack him.

The Profound Heaven Sword Intent says: Host, you still haven't learned your lesson. I told you it's almost impossible! Besides, so what if it escaped? There are countless rogue demonic cultivators and Devil Embryos roaming the world. Do you really need to worry about them when you've only reached Foundation Establishment?

Relax. The various sects may have no shortage of Heavenly Treasures these days, but they still send their disciples to travel the world precisely to hunt down these stragglers.

And a baleful corpse isn't all that difficult to deal with. Unless it's a corpse king that's been nurtured in a tomb for hundreds of years, two or three squads of Armored Soldiers can capture it alive.

Besides, didn't you say Li Country's constables were so capable? Let them handle it! Once you've rested, get back to killing monkeys!

"That's not what I meant... Ah, forget it. I'll level up first..." Li Fan sighed. He could only entrust the great task of saving the world to Li Country's constables. He wiped the blood from his wooden sword with his sleeve, then charged into the bamboo grove again.

But back to the matter at hand: of the remaining five sword forms selected from the revised edition of Profound Heaven Sword Method: Sword Intent and Kun...

The Flurry Form was for fighting multiple opponents amid a chaotic melee when surrounded on all sides. The Rising and Falling Form countered sudden attacks and exploited the advantage of striking unexpectedly. The Opening Strike Form was for desperate close-quarters clashes and rapid exchanges of blades.

These three moves were perfect for Li Fan's monkey-grinding in the bamboo grove. First, he used the Rising and Falling Form to leap into the middle of the pack. Then he unleashed a flurry of swords with the Flurry Form, mowing them all down with area attacks. If anything went wrong and an enemy broke through his guard, he used the Opening Strike Form to kill it.

Strictly speaking, all three moves were for beating up weaker opponents, so they were just right for him now.

The other two sword forms were the Lightning Form and the Gu Yingshi Form. Both were sword techniques for one-on-one duels.

The Lightning Form was exactly what its name suggested: as fast as lightning and as swift as thunder. It was a rapid offensive sword technique where either you died or I did. It consisted of only three moves. If you couldn't block them, you died; if you could, then I died. There was no room to retreat, and no fancy tricks.

The Gu Yingshi Form was even more impressive. It had no fixed moves at all. You simply watched and responded: however your opponent's sword came at you, you blocked it. You adapted to the situation, seized an opening, and defeated your opponent after letting them make the first move. It was also a two-sword style, placing extremely high demands on the practitioner's experience, insight, and arm strength. After all, you had to be able to block your opponent's two-handed sword with your one-handed sword before you could counterattack.

Both forms were meant for opponents of equal strength or stronger. There was no chance to use them against the Thunder Monkeys in the bamboo grove, since one sword strike was enough to kill them.

And honestly, neither move was about technique so much as experience. Li Fan hadn't mastered them well. He'd originally wanted to practice swordplay against the Thunder Monkeys, but who knew those beasts would be so tough-looking and muscular, yet unable to withstand even a single slash from his basic Bamboo Mountain Sword Qi? A flash of green from the Returning Dust Sword Qi, and bones snapped apart, bodies were dismembered, and arterial blood sprayed three feet high. The slaughter was so horrific it looked like a butcher's yard. There wasn't any opportunity for him to practice his moves.

In the end, Li Fan couldn't even be bothered to use the Flurry Form, with its long windup, slow execution, and heavy toll on his stamina. Instead, he just alternated between the Rising and Falling Form and the Opening Strike Form, over and over. He'd leap in and hack away, leap out and slaughter them, then keep jumping after the terrified monkeys as they fled for their lives. Kun followed behind, devouring Thunder Crystals all the way.

The Profound Heaven Sword Intent says: Host, take it down a notch. Don't get carried away with the killing. You must never lose your head during a sword duel. Remember, don't chase a desperate enemy. Stay alert for anything unusual around you so you don't fall into a trap. And, most importantly, keep an eye on the condition of your weapon. Remember to change swords.

"Change swords?" Li Fan looked at the wooden sword in his hand. Only then did he notice that, after being coated in Returning to Dust Sword Qi for so long and used to kill around thirty monkeys, the sword had grown brittle and cracked like a clod of earth.

The Profound Heaven Sword Intent says: Bamboo Mountain's wooden Magic Swords are fairly well made. The runes and seals inside are finely crafted, and now that spiritual materials are plentiful, even the wood used for the swords is good. Lasting thirty strikes makes this one a fine-quality weapon. But an ordinary wooden sword might become unusable after just one or two strikes. If it's contaminated by blood and baleful Sword Qi, an ordinary weapon will be ruined outright.

That's why refining a divine weapon or treasured artifact that suits you is especially important for cultivators. After reaching the Golden Core Stage, cultivators spend a great deal of time refining magic treasures. That gives disciples of major sects a particular advantage: their elders help refine their swords, saving them plenty of time to focus on their cultivation. Ink Bamboo Mountain falls a little short in that regard.

But you don't need to worry, Host. When the time comes, you can use the sword case I've hidden away. For now, at Foundation Establishment, just buy some low-grade magic treasures to make do. Oh, right—you have money now, don't you? Go buy a sword that suits you.

"Wouldn't it be better to buy a hundred or so wooden swords in bulk and keep them on hand?"

Li Fan took out a new wooden sword from his jade pendant and gave it a few swings. Its octagonal Han-style shape was made to pair with the basic Bamboo Mountain Sword Qi imprinted on the Black Sword. He could simply coat the blade in Sword Qi, and it was perfectly suited to the sword's length. With the increased arm strength he'd gained after reaching Foundation Establishment, swinging it felt as light as a feather. It was unexpectedly comfortable to use, and he was a little reluctant to switch.

The Profound Heaven Sword Intent says: You can't skimp on weapons. Wooden swords are only for disciples to practice with. There's little chance of fighting at close range, but if someone swings a steel sword at you and cuts yours in half, you'll regret it.

By the way, speaking of the material and shape of Magic Treasures, don't covet ceremonial swords carved from gold, jade, and jewels. They're completely useless. And there's no need to go for high-grade alloyed starfall metal, either. It's far too expensive and wasteful to forge a weapon from such a treasure at the Foundation Establishment stage. A Copper Coin Sword or an iron sword will do.

Oh! Host, don't wait around! Stop practicing for today! Fly, fly, fly!

The Profound Heaven Sword Intent repeated the important warning three times. Li Fan guessed that some powerful monster had appeared. He immediately tossed out his flying-crane hairpin, tucked Kun and the Sword Intent into his sleeve, and took to the sky on the crane.

Sure enough, as soon as the flying crane soared into the clouds, he saw a huge swath of bamboo crashing down in the distance below. It was as if some enormous monster was charging through the forest like a rampaging bull, furious and out of control.

"Could that be..."

The Profound Heaven Sword Intent says: That's right. It's the Thunder Monkey King of this forest, a great demon at the Golden Core Stage. Even an ordinary Golden Core cultivator might not be able to intimidate it without a flying sword of a certain grade.

You don't have the Dragon Sword on you right now, Host. If you run into it, you're dead. Good thing you hurried and killed a bunch of monkeys to refine your skills before you startled the beast. But that thing is definitely the vengeful type. You probably won't be able to go back for two days. Just go buy a sword.

Tsk, there was even a chance of triggering a wild BOSS encounter? How was he supposed to grind levels off Thunder Monkeys like that? System, what's the status now?

Li Fan, mood, 114/200, current charge progress 198/200

Huh? That couldn't be right! He'd killed a whole lot of them just now!

The system determined that some of the Thunder Monkeys had not reached the Foundation Establishment stage and therefore did not provide mood points.

Hey, wasn't that a bit too strict? System! We've gotten to know each other so well by now. Don't be so stingy. I'm only two points short. Round it up and let me draw a prize, will you?

The system ignored him.

"Tsk, fine," Li Fan mused. "I'll get something to eat first, or buy some Foundation Establishment pills and take them. Then I can get two mood points and draw the gift pack."

Kun agrees.

He flew by a familiar route to the market outside Lou Guan Tower. On the way, Li Fan found a lotus-pod Magic Treasure in his jade pendant, used it to rinse off the blood caked on his head, changed into some ordinary clothes, then remembered the rules and put on the Unknown Face headscarf as well.

After the flying crane landed, Li Fan naturally went to Jiang's Firm to look for Fuling and ask her about where to buy magic treasures and pills.

But, to his surprise, something unexpected had happened again. Jiang's Firm was closed.

"What's going on?" Li Fan frowned. It wasn't a holiday, and all the other shops were open as usual. Yet Jiang's Firm had shut its doors, with not a single employee on duty. Fuling's treasure ship was nowhere to be seen in the courtyard, either.

He knew Fuling had been busy with something lately, but the firm had actually closed. Was it really just a minor issue?

Not knowing where to find Fuling, Li Fan hesitated, took a few steps, then turned toward the entrance of a restaurant.

That's right, Ke Shan Zhai was right there. Maybe he could ask some of its regulars what had happened to Jiang's Firm. He still had a painting he'd gotten from this place that he hadn't sold yet, but perhaps the heat had died down...

Ke Shan Zhai was as bustling as ever, with a line of customers outside. The menu theft from before didn't seem to have affected business at all. If anything, there were even more people in line. What was going on?

Li Fan slipped inside again, as usual relying on the Unknown Face to keep the idle crowd from noticing him as he cut through the line. He deliberately glanced at the wall in the dining hall, where the goddess painting had been before, and understood.

Now, instead of a single flying goddess serving dishes, there was a whole group of them.

The restaurant's former artistic style had been completely replaced by something vulgar: a painting of a group of celestial maidens bathing. Unfortunately, it wasn't an incredibly lifelike illusionary Magic Treasure of the "object" variety; they'd simply hired a painter to fill it in. But he had to admit, it was truly lifelike, hazy, and half-concealed. They seemed on the verge of lifting their veils, yet reluctant to let go. Ahem, ahem, ahem!

Anyway, to describe it objectively and without bias: it showed seven celestial maidens bathing in a pool while enjoying a banquet. There was nothing particularly erotic about it, just a little erotic. Plates of delicious food drifted among lotus bowls and jade feet, nestled between peaks like white jade. At least it was more straightforward and attractive than those inexplicably named dishes from before.

So the diners could openly and earnestly admire and savor these delicious delicacies, ahem!

And there was another impressive detail: all seven celestial maidens in the painting had been modeled on real people.

Well, when Li Fan entered, he saw one of the seven celestial maidens sitting at the front entrance, her gauzy robe half draped around her, her skin as smooth as water, and a playful smile on her face. She had one leg crossed over the other, and wasn't wearing a pair of shorts. She looked as if she'd just stepped out of the bath in the painting to cool off. And although she looked like she was there to serve wine, entertain, and chat, she actually had a little Qi Refining cultivation.

Heh. What was that saying again? A middle-aged man's three great joys were promotion, getting rich, and the death of his wife. Ahem, ahem. Anyway, with his deceased wife's portrait no longer staring at him from the entrance, the owner had immediately loosened up his lifestyle.

"Greetings, fellow Daoist. Would you like to dine here?" The bare-legged beauty at the entrance was no ordinary person. She could tell that Li Fan, who'd entered wearing the Unknown Face and dressed as an Inner Sect disciple, was a cultivator. She couldn't be bothered with the ordinary men who drooled over her, but when she saw such a young and talented man who'd already reached Foundation Establishment, she cheerfully came over to greet him.

Li Fan didn't hold back as he looked her up and down. After all, she'd dressed that way for people to see. It would be a shame not to look. "Yes. Do you have immortal cuisine for the Foundation Establishment stage? Preferably food with a Returning to Dust affinity."

He'd asked Fuling about this before. Cultivators did have cultivation methods that let them abstain from grain. After all, the spiritual energy in the Human Dao was impure. Some cultivators practiced methods focused on a single type of energy, and some ingredients were tainted. Eating them would mean spending time purging the impurities, so they might as well go without food. They usually just drank water and took pills, occasionally chewing on some spiritually washed white rice to stave off hunger, living as if they were immortals who consumed clouds and mist instead of food.

But now that the Five Elements Escape Method had spread far and wide, and spiritual energy and resources were so abundant, there was no need to practice such asceticism. Specially prepared immortal cuisine, also known as immortal banquets, was now available for cultivators.

Not only was it delicious, it also contained medicinal ingredients that increased cultivation and replenished one's vitality and blood. Eating it could greatly boost one's cultivation, with endless benefits.

Of course, proper immortal cuisine required a certain level of spiritual energy purity. The dishes for the Qi Refining Stage and the Nascent Soul stage naturally differed greatly, and their preparation times and costs weren't the same, either.

But Ke Shan Zhai was a restaurant serving cultivators. Wasn't this exactly the kind of thing it was in business to sell?

"Immortal cuisine for the Foundation Establishment stage with a Returning to Dust affinity. Got it. Please follow me to a private room."

The bare-legged attendant led Li Fan upstairs. The upper floor was the plum garden he'd once entered in the painting, but it wasn't an illusion. They'd used a spell to open up a place for gatherings and banquets in the pavilion. Beside it was the bath where the seven celestial maidens were bathing. Three attendants were in the pool, laughing as they darted back and forth like golden carp. From time to time, they carried exquisite dishes, smiling as they covered their waists and rose from the lotus-pool surface on spiritual energy. They swayed their hips as they served the banquet nearby, then slid into the guests' laps, wet and slippery, and fed them delicacies by holding the food between their fingertips. They fed them one bite at a time.

Well, the surrounding cultivators were drinking and playing with the women around the pool, admiring the "fish" swimming in the pond.

Tsk... They really knew how to have fun, how to have fun, how to have fun... Fine! When in Rome, when in Rome!

Li Fan eagerly found a spot with a nice view and sat down, then glanced at the menu the attendant had brought over. It listed the dishes with a Returning to Dust affinity.

Well, he still had no idea what most of them were, but at least they had prices. Seriously, though, a single dish could easily cost over a thousand. That was far too expensive. One string of cash could buy twenty shi of rice... He'd pick two of the cheaper ones.

"I'll have this Huai Noodles with Jade Sauce... and this Lamb-Fat Crispy Jade Leaf." Li Fan didn't hesitate to order the two cheapest dishes. One cost twenty, the other five, for a total of twenty-five... No, really...

The attendant's expression stiffened slightly, but she was clearly wary of offending an Inner Sect Foundation Establishment disciple. She said nothing and withdrew with a smile.

Li Fan stared intently at the fish in the pool, ahem. He mainly wanted to see when his food would arrive.

He didn't have to wait long. A moment later, a flat-topped server carried over a tray. "Sir, your Huai Noodles with Jade Sauce and Lamb-Fat Crispy Jade Leaf."

Li Fan expressionlessly looked at him, then at the food being served to the "fish" over there, then lowered his gaze to the dishes on his own table.

One plate held green cold noodles. No soup, no sauce, no vegetables. Just a plate of plain, simple, unadorned green cold noodles, about two ounces' worth. There was also a skewer of fried white steamed buns, with a small dish of sauce beside it. They'd even thoughtfully sliced the buns into five pieces.

Li Fan's mood decreased by 1 point.

Li Fan whipped around and glared at the server.

The server remained expressionless. "Your dishes are all here. That'll be twenty-five strings of cash."

Li Fan's mood decreased by 1 point.

Li Fan, mood, 112/200, current charge progress 200/200

The host can now draw a prize.

But Li Fan didn't feel like drawing a prize right now.

"...Say that again. How much?" Li Fan stared at him through clenched teeth. Good grief, they'd even sent over someone at the Foundation Establishment stage to stop him from skipping out on the bill, hadn't they?

The flat-topped server remained expressionless and opened the menu to point it out to him. "Huai Noodles with Jade Sauce, twenty strings. Lamb-Fat Crispy Jade Leaf, five strings. Immortal cuisine for the Foundation Establishment stage, genuine goods at a fair price."

"Then what about her?" Li Fan pointed at the attendant sitting on a guest's lap and feeding him wine. It looked like the guest had complained that the wine was too cold, so she'd obediently warmed and moistened it in her mouth before feeding it to him...

The flat-topped server glanced at Li Fan, then replied without changing expression, "Sir, if you'd like to request a specific attendant, I can help you with that too..."

"Tsk..." Li Fan drew in a sharp breath and was about to slap the table and leave.

Kun jumped out of his arms, took a bite of a bun slice, then slurped up a noodle.

Kun says: It's just okay. Fuling makes it better.

Li Fan and the server stared at Kun.

The server coughed. "Sir, we can't really take it back now..."

Li Fan's mood decreased by 1 point.