Toilet Wraith in the Bucket

Chapter 20: Toilet Wraith in the Bucket

The door switch went smoothly.

All the doors at Ping'an Hostel were identical, so they only had to swap the doors, switch the locks, wipe off the handprint on one door, and paint it onto the other. That would make the change seamless.

The door swap was soon complete.

Room 406, which Qi Zhiyong had taken, now had the door from Room 403, the one that had been marked last night. Room 403, meanwhile, got a clean door.

The room Wu Xian and the others would be staying in tonight was Room 402, the one Qi Zhiyong had previously occupied.

That room was absolutely safe tonight.

The purpose of switching the doors was still to test the Door-Breaking Wraith's behavior.

"Ah..."

If only he still had one last True Fire Incantation...

The flames burned away the Toilet Wraith's layers of grease, filling the air with a pungent stench. A coarse yellow incense stick lay on the floor, and another strange noise came from inside the room. Maybe a divine statue had appeared.

From Shi Ji's description, it seemed that an evil spirit had been drawn to him and was steadily closing in. The more time he spent in the bathroom, the faster it approached.

He was sitting on the toilet just to lure the evil spirit out. He couldn't actually risk relieving himself.

Wu Xian narrowed his eyes. He realized that Shi Ji had triggered the negative effect of worshipping a god!

The second time he'd worshipped a god, something similar had happened. He had worshipped the statue of the God of the Dark Underworld, and Mr. Wang had cursed him. Unless he saved Mr. Wang, his body temperature would keep dropping.

At this rate, he'd never recoup the cost!

Shi Ji had been confused the whole time, and Wu Xian had completely thrown him for a loop.

True Fire Incantation!

The True Fire Incantation caught the diesel, and blazing flames erupted. The Toilet Wraith screamed and tried to flee back into the toilet, but the diesel made the flames inside it burn even hotter.

"Ever since I worshipped the god, it's as if something's had its eye on me."

After a moment, the evil spirit unfurled completely.

Shi Ji had worshipped the Heavenly Official. That meant he'd been "Bestowed with Evil."

As soon as Shi Ji entered the bathroom, Wu Xian had felt the air around them grow noticeably colder. The Copper Coin Sword in his hand had begun to heat up. That meant the evil spirit watching Shi Ji was about to appear.

If the room was the one that had been marked, Wu Xian still wouldn't lose out. The information would come in handy sooner or later anyway.

The two of them went downstairs together to look for a divine statue.

Shi Ji hesitated at the bathroom door.

Then Wu Xian saw him standing there with his legs squeezed together, twisting at the waist with a grimace.

But what did "Bestowal of Evil" actually do?

If the door was what had been marked, Qi Zhiyong would be doomed tonight. Wu Xian wouldn't even have to act himself to get revenge on him.

It was as fat as a pig, covered in filth, with countless eyes mixed in among the grime.

Wu Xian raised an eyebrow. "Be clear. What do you mean?"

"It's getting closer and closer. I'm afraid I won't even make it to the day the Greater Wraith finds me before I..."

"Brother Xian, did anything happen to you after you worshipped a god yesterday?"

Wu Xian took Shi Ji to a random bathroom, cut off the water supply, and poured a bucket of diesel into the toilet tank. Then he pushed Shi Ji down onto the toilet.

Before the wraith could figure out what was going on, Wu Xian darted out. He flicked his middle finger, sending a finger-thick stream of flame flying toward it.

Shi Ji shuddered and threw himself forward in an awkward roll. The next second, a green hand burst out of the toilet!

If Shi Ji had been any slower, that hand would have pierced right through him!

Following the hand was a body as thick as a sewer pipe. It stretched and writhed through the air, giving off a horrendous stench.

But the moment he sat on the toilet, his stomach cramped as if it were being cut by knives and his intestines twisted. He gritted his teeth, barely holding it in. The pain was unbearable.

Since divine statues were so hard to find now, and Shi Ji could attract evil spirits, couldn't they just kill whatever came for him and use that to find a divine statue?

Shi Ji's face contorted, veins bulging.

It looked like diesel... But what was diesel?

Ever since it had become an evil spirit, it had rarely thought about its memories from when it was human. Every so often, only fragments surfaced in its mind.

Shi Ji patted his broad backside, looking thoroughly miserable. "Ever since I worshipped the god yesterday, I haven't been able to go to the bathroom properly. I feel like I'm about to burst."

After they had finished swapping the doors,

there was a Toilet Wraith.

They'd swapped doors and wiped away handprints. Did that mean the rules everyone had trusted all along had actually been under Wu Xian's thumb?

Was Wu Xian the only one who knew which room was safe?

They searched for a while without finding a divine statue. Shi Ji finally came out of his shock and remembered that he needed Wu Xian's help. He leaned in and asked him mysteriously,

Just then, Shi Ji suddenly sprang up from the ground. He pulled a Black Donkey Hoof from his clothes and slammed it as hard as he could against the Toilet Wraith's forehead.

First, it was filthy, and it was engulfed in flames. It looked like a living lump of roasted shit. Fighting something like that at close range with the Copper Coin Sword meant facing both physical and mental torment.

"Will that really work?"

As Wu Xian hesitated, the Toilet Wraith suddenly roared and charged at them.

In Wu Xian's experience, places where something dangerous had happened were more likely to have divine statues and wraith incense.

The Toilet Wraith was covered in diesel and had taken a hit from the True Fire Incantation, yet it still hadn't died.

Afterward, the invitation explained that worshipping a god could sometimes have negative effects: the Heavenly Official bestowed evil, the Earth Official punished, and the Water Official cursed.

Wu Xian held up his middle finger and stayed outside the bathroom.

This Toilet Wraith was a little stronger than most evil spirits, but killing it in exchange for a chance to worship a god was still worth it.

"Something's been looking for me, watching me. I feel it most strongly when I'm in the bathroom."

What was on its lips?

Not stinky enough?

This was bad.

Shi Ji could feel it even more clearly. Eyes were watching him from all around. Malice seeped through the toilet and into his body, as if something meant to devour him, inside and out.

It was dead!

Wu Xian chuckled. "Go use the bathroom. Don't hold it in until your backside gets any bigger."

"Also, this morning I wanted to pee, but I kept feeling like someone was watching me. The feeling was so intense it made my skin crawl. I couldn't get anything out."

The Toilet Wraith had already been burned to the brink by the True Fire. Then the Black Donkey Hoof smashed into it, and it immediately went limp, its neck lolling to one side.

Wu Xian was startled.

"Last night, when I sat down to take a dump, I felt a cold breeze blowing up from below. I jumped right back up. When the toilet flushed, the water was all over the place, like a hand was stirring around in there, stirring and stirring..."

Wu Xian considered it for a moment, then grinned and clapped Shi Ji on the shoulder.

"This might not be a bad thing."

The Toilet Wraith stared at Shi Ji and licked the filth from its lips, as if it were looking at a delicious feast. But then it frowned.

"It's here. It's here!"

"Don't worry. I told you before—I've got your back this time."

"I'll take you to the bathroom. Don't make yourself sick holding it in."

Shi Ji shook his head. "N-no, it's not over yet!"

Taiping Guangji, Ghosts, Volume 18: Diao Mian

Diao Mian, Prefect of Xuancheng, rose through the ranks by military service. He first served as the Yumen Military Envoy. A toilet deity appeared at the Outer Stable. It was shaped like a large pig, with eyes all over its body. It emerged from the latrine and wandered around the courtyard. Diao Mian was away at the time. More than a thousand officials, clerks, and soldiers saw it. This continued for several days. When Diao Mian returned, he offered sacrifices and prayed for good fortune. Only then did the toilet deity vanish. Within ten days, Diao Mian was promoted to Inspector of Yizhou. He was later appointed Left Guard Commander, Right General of the Agile Cavalry, and General of the Left Feathered Forest Army, and eventually rose to high rank.